Intsapho iyaxabana nomhlaba osondeleyo

Uphononongo lweengxabano zentsapho, nangona kunjalo, kunye nolwalamano lomtshato, kunzima kakhulu, kuba le ndawo iyinxalenye yobomi bodwa, umntu ngamnye, okanye abantu babini.

Lapha umtshato kunye nentsapho ingabonakaliswa njengamaqela amancinci "avaliweyo" kunye nabangaphandle kubo, eqinisweni, "ukungena kuvunyelwe". Ihlala yinyaniso yokuba ekuhloliseni ubudlelwane bosapho kunzima ukulandelela oko kwenzeka ngokwenene imeko yokulwa.

Ingcamango encinci, sinokugqiba ukuba izizathu apho kukho ukuxabana kwentsapho, ngokuqinisekileyo, kakhulu.

Isibini esitshatileyo singenayo ingxaki ngobuncwane. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba abatshatileyo abanalo ukuhamba rhoqo kwemvakalelo emihle kunye nokuqinisekiswa okucacileyo ukuba omnye umlingani womtshato ulungele ukuxhasa bonke abantu kuyo yonke into, ingxabano inokwenzeka. Ukuba elinye iqabane lingenakunceda kwaye lincede ukunqoba ubunzima bobunzima obuhlukeneyo (nangona engathandabuzeki ukuba ubunzima buya kunqotshwa) - linye incedo ekuxabaneni okukhulu.

Ukuba akukho nxu lumene, ekugqibeleni (nangona umtshato ungangqubuzana), omnye wabatshatileyo unokuntula kobunzima, ukungabikho kwempilo esebenzayo kunye nokusebenza okuphezulu, imisebenzi yokudala - konke oku kuya kubangela ukuxabana kwintsapho kunye neminye imiphumo, umtshato, njengoko lawula. Okubi nakakhulu, akukho mtshato, kuba, umzekelo, omnye wabatshatileyo ubona ekulondolozeni intsapho yabo imisebenzi yabantwana abancinci, kodwa ngaba luhlobo luni luza kuba luba luba luba luba nolwalamano noluthando, ukuqonda kunye nolwalamano bafazi ...

Kungakhathaliseki ukuba ziphi izizathu, bonke bathi abatshatileyo abanalo into ephambili - ukwaneliseka kumtshato, konke ukuphelelana kobudlelwane beentsapho kunye nokuzonwabisa kwabo bonke.

Makhe sijonge ngezizathu zokubangela ukuba iingxabano zentsapho kwizizathu ezinzulu zenzeke. Emva koko, bahlala beyintloko yeqhawulo lomtshato okanye ukuqhubekeka okungapheliyo kubomi kunye.

Isizathu sokuqala sivakalelo sokungaphantsi, ukuphula umthetho, elinye iqabane phambi komnye.

Iimbambano ezininzi zivela ngenxa yokuzithoba, ukubaluleka kwayo, ukubaluleka kwegama elithi "Ndilapha kweli hlabathi" (musa ukudibanisa ne "ego"). Nabani na umntu uya kuba nexhala xa iimeko zokuphulwa kwesithunzi sakhe zichaphazelekayo, xa enqatshelwe intlonipho, xa ekugqibeleni, uphathwa kuphela ngaphandle kwenhlonipho.

Xa omnye wabafazi evakalelwa, ephikisana nesiqingatha sawo, ngokuqinisekileyo oku kuya kuvelisa iimvakalelo ezintle kwiintsapho kwaye ngokubanzi zibangelwa ukunganeliseki, ukungabikho kwemvakalelo emihle phakathi kwabantu ababini. Ukungalungi kuya kugcinwa kwi-caress, ukunyamekela kwabatshatileyo komnye nomnye, ukunyamekela (kwaye) kunye nokunyamekela nokufundisa abantwana babo. Ukwahlukana kwengqondo phakathi kwabatshatileyo kuqala ngokuzithoba komnye wabatshatileyo, ngamazwi abalulekileyo malunga nokuba ngubani oqabane naye. Ngaloo ndlela, ukuvumelana kwentsapho, ukuzinza ubomi, ukuqinisekiswa ngokwakho kuphukile kwaye, ngokuphambene, ukuvakalelwa kwento engenamsebenzi kunye nokuxabisa komnye umntu ukhula. Ezi ziganeko zikhokelela ekubeni umtshato, umntu akakwazi ukuzibiza njengomntu obalulekileyo kumlingane wakhe. Kunoko, ngokuchasene noko, uqala ukuziva enokukhathazeka kwengqondo kwintsapho yakhe, kukho ukuzivala, ukungaqiniseki kwizenzo zakhe, kungekhona ukukwazi ukufumana indlela yokuphuma kwimeko yokuphila kwansuku zonke (intsapho). Ulahlekelwe yimvakalelo yenkxaso evela kumfazi wakhe (umfazi), kwaye emva koko kunokwenzeka kwiindawo ezikuyo, umqondo wokubambisana kunye nokhuseleko.

Umyeni uvame ukuba kwindawo yomntu ocela okanye mhlawumbi aze athandazele ukutshata, okwenyani umfazi ukuba azive ngamandla akhe phezu kwendoda yakhe, ukuba enyukele esihlalweni sobukhosi. Ngenxa yokuphakama okunjengokuthi "ukumkanikazi", ukuxhomekeka kwintliziyo yakhe kuya kuthoba umyeni wakhe, kumenze avuyiswe ngesigqibo sakhe, okanye ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba ayeke ukuphendula "amatyala angalunganga".

Indoda engaziyo kuzo zonke iinkcukacha zesibini zomtshato zesibini (emva koko, oku kubomi obusondeleyo, kubomi babucala babantu ababini, akunjalo) akulula ukuqonda ukuba kutheni umlingane ongeyonto engabonakali ngengqondo okanye ngokukhatyiswa kwamantombazana kunye Ujonge wakhe, mhlawumbi umyeni onobuchule kunye neetalente. Ingqiqo yokuqinisekisa, ukuzinyameka kwindoda ebudlelwaneni obunjalo buhlungu kakhulu imihla ngemihla, ekunciphiseni izinga lokushisa kwintsapho, kuthatha indawo yobudlelwane obufudumele kunye nokubala okubanda. Ewe, imeko enjalo ayikwazi ukuhlala ixesha elide, kuba ngamnye wethu akakwazi ukuwamkela imeko engathandeki kuye ngokungapheliyo. Kuya kubangela ingxabano enkulu yomtshato kunye nokutshatyalaliswa kokutshatyalaliswa kwentsapho.

Enye imbambano yokwahlukana kweentsapho eziye zavela kumhlaba osondeleyo kukubonakala kwintlungu yomfazi kwinto esondelene ngayo, kwaye akunelisekile njengoko kufanelekile.

Kule meko, umbhede we-conjugal ngowomfazi into enjengendawo yokuhlushwa. Ewe, ukunyaniseka kwesenzo sesini somfazi kudluliselwa kumyeni, ngubani ofuna oko. Yaye umlingani uhlala kunye namazinyo aqiniweyo, enomdla wokuhlala exhoba (ngenxa yokwesaba ukungabi nesizungu, ukuvakalelwa ngumsebenzi kubantwana), okanye ukuphika umyeni wakhe esondelene naye. Ewe, kwintsapho, imiphumo yale meko iphinda ibuhlungu. Isiphumo esinjalo siya kuvela nangokwenyama (nangokwengqondo, nakwakho) ukungakwazi komyeni ukuwanelisa umfazi wakhe.

Asinakukunyamekela into enjalo njengento yokukhuphaza ebhedini.

Kufuneka iqwalaselwe ngokugqithiseleyo. Khumbula, igumbi lokulala alikho indawo yokuxabana. Qonda zonke iingxabano ngaphambili.

Ukongezelela oku, isondo akufanele siphathwe njengento ebangelwe (oku kwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiweyo). Senza umfanekiso. Wayefuna i-snack, wavula ifriji, wenza isangweji ngokukhawuleza, wahlamba itiye okanye i-soda. Hayi, ukufanisa apha kufuneka kulandelwe ngembono ohlukileyo. Ukwabelana ngesondo kufuneka kufane nesidlo se-candlelight dinner, ekwale meko le sibini asiyi kubuhlungu kunye.

Ukungafani kwemibono yamadoda nabasetyhini, imbambano kwizizathu ezinzulu, kunye nempilo yomtshato yemihla ngemihla - konke oku kusemgangathweni kunye kunye nobudlelwane obuhambelanayo. Kodwa nangayiphi na imeko, isisombululo sendalo, esengqiqweni seengxabano singabakho ububele okanye ukuxabana. Kwenzeka njani ukuba oku kuqondwe?

Ngobubele ebomini bentsapho, into ebaluleke kakhulu kukuvumelanisa ubudlelwane, ngelixa ingxabano ayinakulawulwa yinyaniso okanye ubudlelwane obuhle, kodwa ngumnqweno wokuzibamba, ukuvelisa ukunqoba, ukuba ngenxa yoko, umtshato kunye nokuzaliswa kobomi bentsapho kunokulondolozwa. Nangona siye safumanisa izinto ezi-2 ezibangela isisombululo sobudlelwane bomtshato ngokubhetele, kufuneka sikhumbule ukuba ingxabano ayisisisombululo kwisingxaki, njengokuba kuya kukwenyusa le ntsebenziswano. Imilinganiselo ephezulu kakhulu kwintsapho yinto efanelekileyo yothando "ubudlelwane", obuphakamileyo kakhulu kunokuba "Ndisoloko ndilungile, kodwa anikho." Ubudlelwane obuphikisanayo buvusa kuphela umquzulwano, kodwa abayicombululiyo. Kwintsapho apho kukho ukuqonda kwenkcubeko yobomi bentsapho, ubomi obude nobumnandi bomtshato bubonakala.

Kwaye, nangona kunjalo, ukuba omnye wabatshatileyo, ngenxa yokulondoloza uthando kwintsapho yagqiba ukuhamba ngendlela yesibini - ukuxabana, ukubonisa ukuba "ndilungile," apha simele sisebenzise ingxabano njengoluhlobo lwenkcubeko, ngokusemgangathweni inokukwazi ukuxazulula imeko yongquzulwano. Kwaye akukho nto inzima kule nto. Kubalulekile, ngakwesinye icala, ngokucacileyo (ukuqiqa, ukuba ufuna) ukuveza imbono yakho ngaphandle kokucaphukisa iqabane ngokuphakamisa ilizwi lakhe, nangakolunye uhlangothi, ukwazi ukuqonda ukufaneleka kweqabane lakhe, ukuze ukwazi ukuthobela okufanelekileyo. Kwaye kwangaxeshanye, akukho nto uyenayo into ebizwa ngokuba "yiya kumntu", bonisa i-"ego" yakho, ityala omnye okanye enye imbi, icaphukise. Abaqabane kufuneka bengazi ukuba neengxaki ezimbi, nangona kwindlela yokuphikisana, babonise inhlonipho omnye nomnye, khumbula ukuba ngamnye wabo unomsebenzi wokuthi 'angabambeleli ngokwabo', aze aphumelele kwimpikiswano ngaphandle kweendleko, kodwa ukuba eze kwinyaniso, okt. isisombululo esithandekayo kubo bobabini. Kule nto kufuneka ukwazi ukuphulaphula "umqhubi" wakho, zama ukuqonda isikhundla sakhe, kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, unokukwazi ukuhlala endaweni yakhe, phulaphula iingxabano zakho "ngeendlebe zakhe," ngamanye amazwi, zincinci ngakumbi.

Kwaye okokugqibela.

Zibuze: "Iyintoni intshayelelo yobomi bentsapho, kunye nolonwabo loluntu olulula?"

Mhlawumbi uqikelele ngokufanelekileyo, impendulo ilula - Kakade, uthando, ukuthembela, isisa, inzondelelo, ukuqonda ukuba awunamsebenzi, kodwa ngubani ofuna kwaye unako ukunceda abanye abantu, ufumana uncedo ngokubuyisela. Ndicinga yonke into. Apha unako ukongeza ukhuseleko lwezinto zentsapho, impilo yabasetyhini kwaye ekugqibeleni, ezininzi izinto ezininzi ezimnandi zichitha kunye.

Kwimpilo eyabelweyo, hlukanisa yonke into kwisiqingatha: zombini intlungu kunye novuyo, kuba wena - iinqanaba ezimbini apho umntu epheleleyo.