Kukho isibalo sezizathu eziphambili zokusasaza komntwana. Okokuqala, unako ukungahambi kakuhle, ukuba kukho into ephazamisayo, umzekelo, uziva intlungu, kodwa akayiqondi le nto, uvakalelwa kukuba unzima kakhulu. Ubungqina bebantwana abancinci kukuba abakwazi ukuvavanya oko kwenzekayo emzimbeni wabo, indlela umntu omdala angaziva ngayo kwaye ayiqonde. Okwesibini, engathandekiyo, umntwana udla ngokucacileyo ukuba uvakalelwa ukungabikho kwengqalelo. Ukhethe indlela yokuqala yokuthetha nawe. Okwesithathu, umntwana wakho, mhlawumbi, uye waqonda ukuba unokukwazi ukufezekisa kakhulu kuwe kunye neengcamango zakhe. Usebenzisa nje ngokuhlakanipha. Lo ngumqondiso wokuba unamandla okulwa neengxaki zabantwana.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni - ukhetho lwesine, oluqhelekileyo, olufanele luxoxwe ngokubanzi. Abazali abaninzi abaqapheli nokuba khona kwabo kwaye bachaze i-vagaries yomntwana ngezinye izizathu. Ekugqibeleni, balahlekelwa lixesha elixabisekileyo. Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntwana wakho ufuna ukukwenza uqonde ukuba ubonisa ukugcinwa kwakhe ngokugqithiseleyo, ubonisa ngokucacileyo umnqweno wokuzimela ngokwengeziwe. Oku kukhuliswa ngokukhethekileyo kulezo zintsapho apho indlela yokukhulisa yokuziphatha ilawulwa khona, xa abantu abadala befuna ukunyanzela umntwana zonke izenzo zakhe. Ngelo xesha, abazali baxhaswa zizizathu ezilungileyo, kuba bayazi kakuhle ukuba "kufaneleka njani." Umntwana kuphela kule minyaka sele ekwazi ukuhlalutya ngokuthe ngqi niselo le "mfuneko" kwaye ngokupheleleyo ngendlela yayo.
Ngenxa yeziphumo ezininzi zeengqondo zengqondo, kuboniswe ukuba umntwana usemncinci ukuphuhliswa okuhambelanayo kufuneka ulungelelanise phakathi kwentetho inkululeko, ukufundiswa kunye nokuthintela. Kubalulekile ukuba aziva ukuba akagcinwa nje kuphela, kodwa unika ilungelo lokuzikhethela, ukuhlonipha yena njengomntu. Abazali abaninzi bayaqiniseka ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba bayayixhasa indlela yentando yesininzi yemfundo, kodwa eqinisweni, ngokuchaseneyo, bayayikhathaza ngokuziphatha komntwana. Oomama "abanononophelo" abanikeli umntwana kunye nesinyathelo sokunyathela: "Musa ukuyiphatha! "," Musa ukudlala apha! "," Musa ukuya khona! ". Ngaba kuyimfuneko ukukhusela umntwana rhoqo kwiinkathazo? Umntwana, emva koko, akuyinto yodongwe kwaye ayikho ipopi, wenza ezininzi, nokuba uyayithanda okanye awunayo. Ufuna uzame yonke into, ukufunda yonke into, kwaye oku akunakwenzeka ngaphandle kweempazamo, izibilini kunye neinyembezi.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwiintsapho ezininzi ukunyanzeliswa ngokugqithiseleyo kuthethwa ngumdla, kuba umntwana othobelayo ubangela iingxaki ezincinane. Emva koko, ukuba umntwana uzolile, uzolile, uhleli ekhoneni kwaye akakhathazi mntu, akayi kubuza imibuzo engapheliyo, akayikucela ukudlala - kulula. Kodwa ingaba inyana enjalo iya kukhula njani, iya kukhula njani, iya kuthatha phi inqaku lokukhula kwengqondo nokudala?
Kwiminyaka emithathu umntwana uwela umda wokuzimela obizwa ngokuthi "mna mna". Siphazamisa ukukhutshwa kwakhe, iinkcazo kunye nemiyalelo, siyaphula kuye, nakuba sisengumntwana, kodwa sisisityebi somntu. Kwaye kwakhona, nangona singaziqondi, kodwa kuye kuyinto ebonakalayo, sibonisa ukuba "akukho mntu" kwaye "sihlakaniphile". Yaye inyana iphoqeleka ubuncinane ngokuhlaselwa kokungavumelani ukuvakalisa ukuzimela kwakhe. Ukubonakaliswa kobunkani kuyimpendulo yendalo yokukhusela yomntwana ekukhuseleni ngokuphambuka kokuzimela kwakhe. Cinga ngento eya kuba yindleko kumntwana wakho umzabalazo wakho ngeengqungquthela? Ungaziganga ngcamango yokuba xa usuphelile "uloyiso" olugqibeleleyo phezu kweengcambu zentsana, kuya kuba lula kuwe ukuba uphile. Ngokuchaseneyo. Uza kufumana kwixesha elizayo unqwenela ukungafuni, ungabikho mntu. Kwaye ngokukhawuleza wena uza kuphawula i-alamu ngelinye ilanga: "Oo, umntanami akayi kulungelelaniswa ubomi. Akaqinisekanga ngokuqinisekileyo, uyesaba yonke into. Unentloni, unganeliseki, uhoxisiwe, unomsindo, awuhambisani noontanga. " Izikhalazo zolu hlobo zivakalisa ukwamkelwa kwengqondo yengqondo kwisiqingatha sabo bonke abazali. Ngaphezu koko, iminyaka yobudala yabantwana ihluka ukusuka kwiminyaka emi-5 ukuya kwe-16. Kwaye ningaqondi abazali ukuba iingcambu zentsana yabantwana babo zizalelwa kule "yokuqala ngqungquthela yeengqungquthela", xa abantu abadala bakwazi ukuphula umntwana ngokuyifaka kwiifom ezilungeleyo kubo. Kodwa ukuzingca komntwana kwixesha elizayo kubangela ukuzithemba, kunye nenkani - ukuphikelela nokunyamezela umoya.
Yingakho kubalulekile ukuba umzabalazo weemvakalelo zabantwana aziphenduleli kumntwana kunye nekamva lakhe. Nayiphi na imfuno emitsha okanye izibhengezo kufuneka ukuba ziqikelele kwaye ziqondakala kumntwana. Yaye yile ndlela yodwa yokunciphisa "ukuphakama kweengqungquthela" zokuqala kunye nomntwana. Ngaba ucinga ukuba wenza yonke into ukukukhathaza? Khumbula indlela ukuthintela ngayo Ukuba yayomile "ayikwazi", ngaphandle kwenkcazelo, ngoko ngokuqinisekileyo uya kukhwela ukunyanzela. Emva kwakho konke, kule minyaka akukho nto ilingayo kunokwenza into "engavunyelwe." Kwaye kulowo wonke umntu uyazibonakalisa.
Ejongene neengcingo zomntwana, sisoloko sifumanisa isizathu. Kwaye ucinga nje, kodwa akunjalo? Ngubani onenkani: abazali abahlala besithi "oku akunakwenzeka", "kuyimfuneko yokwenza njalo ..." okanye umntwana okhusela ngayo yonke into enzame ukuzimela? Okanye mhlawumbi unayo ingcamango eyaneleyo, ukuguquguquka, umnqweno kunye nexesha lokuchazela kwintsana, kutheni ufuna yona ngoku. Okanye kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe kuphela ukuthobela kwakhe ukuthobela? Emva kwakho konke, unokwazi ukujamelana neengxaki zebuntwaneni, usongela ukuba uhlaziye kuba ngamaqhinga, uthi, umzekelo: "Oo, khangela, zingaphi iinyembezi! Masifake ebhotile. " Okanye "Hayi, kunomntu omncinci kakhulu kuwe! Enhle kangaka! Masidlale kwaye sifune naye. " Akunakwenzeka ukuba kuya kuba nomntwana ehlabathini, ova into enje, akayi kutshintsha umdlalo umdlalo umdla. Emva koko uya kuyenza loo nto oyicelayo ukuba ayiphumelelanga ngokulandelelana.
Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, kwimeko ethile, onke amalungu entsapho aziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Ngaphandle koko umntwana wakho uya kufunda ngokukhawuleza indlela yokuphatha unina, utatomkhulu, uyihlo ngobuchule, luhlobo luni lokuziphatha olusebenzayo ngamnye kubo.