Ukuba phambi kokunyenga komntu kwakungenalo ngokwaneleyo isimo sengqondo, ngoku, umntu oshintshileyo ugwetywa ngokuthe ngqo ngurhulumente.
Nesiqingatha senkulungwane edlulileyo, ukunyaniseka kwendoda kwakungekho kuxoxwe. Wonke umntu wayesazi ngale nto, kodwa bathula, babekezela baze bamkele imeko njengoko kunjalo. Imitshato ayizange ichithwe ngasekunene nakwesobunxele ngenxa yokuba loo ndoda yayingathembeki kwisiqingatha sayo sesibini.
Ngoku izinto zihlukile. Ngokuphathelele ukungathembeki, memeze kuzo zonke iinqununu, ungabalwa ngokuzikhethela kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo. Yintoni engafanele ifakwe enkundleni yoluntu.
Abasetyhini ngamaxesha onke abanoyika. Enyanisweni, bahlala bekulungele ukukholelwa kwizona zinto zilungileyo. Kodwa konke okufanayo: kholwa-musa ukukholwa, kwaye lokoyika luvela ngokukhawuleza, kunye nevakalelo ezivelayo. Kukho uthando - kukho ukwesaba ukutshutshiswa. Kuye kwenzeka ukuba, kwasekuqaleni, umfazi uqala ukuzihlela ngokwamanqaku athile. Oku bekuya kugwenywa ukuba isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo sokungathembeki kwindoda esasungulwa ekuqaleni. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka sibuyiselwe kwaye sibuyele kumaxesha ookhokho bethu. Qaphela le nto njengento nje. Akukho mcimbi! Ukuchaneka ngokufanelekileyo ukunyanzelisa abantu - kunokwazi nje ukuba neendlela ezithile ezingokwengqondo eziza kusindisa i-psyche yesifazane kwiimeko ezingadingekile, ezibangelwa iintlungu. Kubalulekile ukuba ufunde indlela eyiyo, ukuphendula nokulungisa ngokwaneleyo nayiphi na ingxaki, kwanezo zinto ezinobuchule. Vumelana ukuba isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo kunoma yintoni na into ebomini bethu ikuvumela ukuba ukhangele ngenyameko imeko kwaye uthathe izigqibo ezibandayo ezingaqhelekanga. Konke malunga nokungafundi ukufunda nokubhala, yingakho isimo sengqondo sokungathembekanga kwiingqondo zethu sisetyenzisiweyo seengcinga kunye neendlela ezimbalwa zokulwa kule meko.
Isidima somntu ekungcatshweni asikhathazeki, ubuncinane, ngoko bonke abameli bezesondo ezinamandla bakholelwa. Kwaye abafazi, ngokuchaseneyo, bayaqiniseka ukuba bayanyathelwa, bahlaziswa kwaye bacaphukiswa kwizinzulu zomphefumlo ngeli nqanaba. Akunamadoda amaninzi aphuthuma ukushiya emva kwesenzo sokungathembeki, axhasa inxalenye eyalimalayo ukuba bayamthanda kakhulu kwaye bazive bevelelekile. Abanye abantu banokukwazi ukukhuthaza umfazi, ukuba ngale ndlela wamnika inhlonipho ejulile. Ukucacisa oku ngokuthi akafuni ukunyanzelisa ukuba usondelane ngexesha lokugula kwakhe, okanye wayengakulungele. Isizathu sinokuthi sifumaneke sifike. Nantsi yonke into incike kwizinto ezibonakalayo zomntu. Ngako oko, kubonakala ngathi basenza sazi ukuba akukho ukuthotywa. Amadoda isithembu ngokwemvelo. Ngenxa yoko ukungathembeki kwamadoda.
Ukuba umntu akayithandeki kuwe, ngoko akufanelekanga, bayabandezeleka. Sathetha kwaye sasabalalisa ngeendlela ezihlukeneyo, endleleni eya kuthatha ingxaki, kodwa onke amava afanayo.
Ukuba umntu uyithandeka kuwe, kwaye awufuni ukwahlukana naye, thabatha isimo sengqondo sokulinda, esiluncedo kubini. Ngeli xesha, nokuba yedwa okanye ngoncedo lwenzululwazi (eyamkelwayo), kufuneka uvuselele ngokoqobo isimo sengqondo esilungileyo ngokubhekiselele ekuhlaleni. Kuphi, yintoni "isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo" - uya kukwenza isigqibo wena kuphela kwaye unqume yonke imigaqo yokuchaneka.
Kuphela ukulungiswa okuncinci: kubalulekile ukuba usebenze ukusuka kwinqanaba lokujonga uthando olukhulu.
Ayikho iresiphi yolonwabo, akukho 100% isiqinisekiso sokuthi umanyano wakho uya kudlula le ngxaki. Ngoko ke, kufuneka sifumane iindlela zangaphambili zokuphucula ukuzimela, ekuvelweni kwehlabathi elitsha, eliza kusiza ekuphatheni kakuhle ukungathembeki kwamadoda nokuphendula ngokufanelekileyo. Kwaye izixhobo ezinjalo, ukhuseleko lwengqondo lunokwanela ukuba uhlaselo lwamadoda ludlule, luloyiko lokulungela kwakho nasiphi na isongelo. Yaye ngubani owaziyo, mhlawumbi nguwe, emva kokuphila ubomi obude kwaye obonwabileyo, bhala imiyalelo yenzalo: "Indlela yokuphatha ukungathembeki kwamadoda ngokuchanekileyo".