Ngaphambi kokuchaza ukungafani kwezesondo, siya kuchaza oko kwenza ukuba amadoda namabhinqa ahluke.
Amadoda athambekele ekuthandeni ngokukhawuleza. Iphupha lamadoda ngokwesondo libonwa kaninzi. Kuyinto ebonisa ukuba amadoda akwazi ukuphupha ngesondo kunye nabafazi babo, kwaye abafazi babo baphupha ngomyeni, okanye amadoda aqhelekileyo afika kumaphupha abo, kodwa engaziwa.
Izibheno zamabhinqa kuogqirha zinkulu kunezo zamadoda. Uhlobo lusasazwa ukuba ibhinqa linamandla kunomntu kwaye lihlala lihlala likhulu kwimeko yengqondo. Abasetyhini kulula kakhulu ukunyamezela ingozi, ukugula kunye nokuxinezeleka, kodwa kunzima kakhulu kunamadoda. Igazi lomntu likhulu kakhulu, kodwa abanamafutha angaphantsi, ngokungafani nabasetyhini. Ukwahlukana okubonakalayo phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini kwiinkqubo zengcamango ziyabonwa: kumadoda, ilungelo lobume beengqondo lisetyenziselwa ukujongwa kwithuba, kwaye ikhohlo lijongene nokuthetha. Akukho zizodwa kwiingcali zentlobo yesini.
Abasetyhini badla ngokubanda kwiimveliso zoononophala kunye nezinto ezinobunzima, kunye namadoda afana nawo. Inwaba yabantu ikhawuleza, kwaye ipholile ngokukhawuleza kumlingane. Abasetyhini abasenakukwazi ukuba bajonge kunamadoda. Abasetyhini baphila iminyaka engama-7 ukuya kweyure kunamadoda.
Ukugqithisa okunjalo kwintlukwano phakathi kwamadoda nabasetyhini kunika izizathu ezipheleleyo zokubonisa ukuba kukho ukungafani ezininzi kwinguqu yamadoda nabesifazana. Izizathu zokutshintshwa komntu zidibene nomhlaba omnye oqhelekileyo: umfazi ongaqhelekanga okanye umfazi ongaqhelekanga kumntu uyisiphazamiso esingokwemvelo, isidingo semvelo, njengento yokusela ubhiya obandayo, into ongayenayo, kodwa awufuni ukuyenza. Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo enokuthi ichazwe ngamagama: "Singabantu, ngenxa yoko sinokukwenza."
Ibhinqa liyakwazi ukulala ngokwesondo kuphela ngenxa yokuba namava aphantsi, kuba ngexesha elifanayo uxhulumano olunzulu lwamazwi lusekwe.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu unelisekile ngunkosikazi wakhe, umbhede kunye nekognac kwihostlu ezimbini okanye ezintathu iiyure. Indoda isoloko inomdla kuphela kumzimba womlingane. Ibhinqa lifuna iimvakalelo zokwaneliseka ngokupheleleyo: iishenyitha, iimpawu zengqalelo, iintyatyambo, izipho, ukuhamba. Abafazi banzima, nangona ngamanye amaxesha kuyimfuneko, ukuba banelisekile kuphela kwimidlalo yesondo. Ibhinqa idinga into engaphezulu kwesondo kuphela, ngaphandle koko umphefumlo wayo ukhululekile, kwaye oku kwaneliseko angayifumana kunye nomthandi wakhe.
Omnye umahluko phakathi kokungcatsha kwintombi kunye nendoda yintoni na izinto ezininzi zesini abanokuqhagamshelana nayo. Inyaniso yokuba amadoda atshintsha rhoqo. Kananjalo ungenalo elinye, kodwa amaqabane amaninzi. Ngenkosikazi enye, udibanisa rhoqo, kwaye kwezinye iyakwazi ukubona amaxesha, ngamanye amaxesha. Inkosikazi yesithathu inokuthi ibonakale embhedeni womntu otshatileyo kanye ngonyaka, ngoko, xa umfazi ethatha abantwana aze ashiye ikhefu. Ngezinye iimpazamo indoda idlula, kwaye inxalenye yayo. Ndiyabulela kule meko yeendaba, iindwendwe zihlala zibaninzi, kwaye zixhomekeke kwixesha lokukhulula, inani lemali nezinye iimeko.
Ngokwahlukileyo kumntu, ibhinqa linokuthanda omnye kuphela. Xa behlala kunye nomthandi, ngoko unokufumana enye, nangona kaninzi ukufumana ibhinqa, kwaye uyavuma. Kukho amaxesha apho umfazi angatshintsha umthandi wakhe ngokwakhe, kodwa uzama ukuhlala unomphela kwimicimbi engabikho komtshato.
Umfazi unako ukuhlala ethembekile kumthandi wakhe, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuyangalisa kangakanani, kwaye uhlala ethetha ngale nto, ngaloo ndlela abonisa ukuba uthembekile. Ibhinqa lihlala liziphatha kunye nomthandi wayo, njengokungathi liqabane eliqhelekileyo. Kule meko, unokusebenza njengomlingane owenza zombini "umdaka" kunye "nomile" kumdlalo osondeleyo.
Uninzi kunabo bonke, umfazi akhathazeki ngoloyiko lokuba umyeni wakhe unokufunda yonke into, kodwa le meko engahlaziyiyo ebonakalayo xa edibana nomnye umntu ngumvakalelo womntu. Uhlobo oluphambili kumkhwabhinqa wokukrexeza komntu, kukuba umfazi uyatshintsha ngakumbi kwimigaqo yakhe, ahlala kuyo ubomi bakhe bonke, kungekhona nje umntu othile (umfazi). Kwaye emva kwexesha uhlazo luya kwaye iimeko zokuziphatha zibuyele eziqhelekileyo. Kwaye ke umfazi uba kwindawo entsha yobomi. Umyeni ngoku wakhe ngumntu, njengotata ngaphambi komtshato, kunye nomthandi-osebenza njengomyeni osemtsha. Kwaye ngoku loo mfazi ufihla abantwana kunye nomyeni wakhe ngendlela awayezifihla ngayo uyise.