Enyanisweni, amadoda angacinga malunga nokuba impindezelo ingabuyisela impatho. Kodwa, ngokuqhelekileyo, bakhetha ezinye iindlela, kwaye batshintsha ezinye izizathu, kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha ngokupheleleyo ngaphandle kwabo. Ukuphindiselela ngokunyaniseka ngumfazi omncinane. Kutheni abesifazana becinga ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuphindisela ngale ndlela? Kutheni bajonga ukuba yiyona ndlela iphumelele?
Okokuqala, inyaniso kukuba ukugwenxa ngumxholo wesifo kubafazi kunye namadoda. Abameli bobabini ngesini abavuyiswa kakhulu ngale nyaniso. Kodwa baneendawo ezahlukahlukeneyo zengqondo zokuphendula. Kutheni abafazi behlupheka kwaye befuna ukuziphindisela ngale ndlela? Okokuqala, bayaziphindezela ekungcatshweni kwelo bhinqa kuphela ngenxa yokuhlaselwa. Yiyo yokuziphatha kakubi kwindoda enamandla ngokwaneleyo ukubuyisela ngale ndlela. Kwezinye iimeko, abafazi bayabagweba amadoda ngendlela engaphantsi.
Kodwa, masibuyele kubangelwa ukuba amantombazana aphinde aphinde aphinde ahlasele ngokunyaniseka. Inyaniso kukuba emva kokufunda malunga nokungcatshiswa kwendoda, ngokuqonda okanye ngokungaqondi, le ntombi iqala ukuziva iphosakele. Ucinga ukuba lo mfana ushintshile kuye, kuba ufumene umntu omhle kwaye ekhangayo. Kodwa akukho konke. Abasetyhini bangenza izizathu ezininzi zokungcatsha: ingqondo, uqoqosho, ukuqonda. Amantombazana aqala ukuziva kakhulu kwaye ahlupheke. Abaqondi indlela onokuyenza ngayo ngale ndlela, ukuba uthe uthanda. Kwakhona, abafazi baqala ukuphuhlisa ubunzima obuphantsi kweengcinga ezi. Yilapho abanye abantu beza kwisigqibo sokuba baya kutshintsha umfana wabo. Kwaye baya kwenza ukwenzela ukulimaza baze bazibonele. Makhe umntu abone ukuba umntu uyamxabisa kwaye uyamthanda, umntu ubeka ingqalelo, kwaye ukuba ayingxenye, ngoko akayi kuba yedwa.
Ewe, amadoda ayawaqonda njani le meko? Ngokuqhelekileyo, abaxoleli abafazi ngenxa yokungcatsha. Kodwa, akuyona into yokungahlambuluki kunye nombono wokuthi akahle kwaye ulungile ngokwaneleyo. Nangona, oku kwenzeka kwakhona, kodwa akahlali kwindawo ephezulu. Ukufunda ukuba ibhinqa litshintshile, indoda iyathukuthela, kuba yayinyanzeliswa kwipropati. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kukhanyeka kangakanani, inzondo yokunyenga kwabasetyhini ivela kubafana abanengqondo yobunini. Abafuni ukucinga nokuqonda ukuba abo bobawo bangabomnye. Ukongezelela, abafana baqiqa ngokucacileyo izenzo zabo, besithi benza ngendlela ngaphandle kokungabaza. Kwenzeka nje. Kwaye, nangona esazi thina besifazane ngokuncinci, bayaqonda ukuba abafazi abancinci abaqhelekileyo baya kwizenzo ezinjalo ngamabomu kwaye baqaphele, ukuze babangele intlungu. Ekugqibeleni, kungathi umfana uya kubeka isohlwayo nentombazana ngokukhohlisa, kwaye unokukwazi ukuzigweba ngokulula kwamanye amadoda. Kodwa phantse akaze aqonde kwaye aqikelele umfazi. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho iimeko xa abafana, beguqula ngokwabo, bakholelwa ukuba banokukhubeka kwaye kule nto, ngokusemthethweni, akukho nto iyingozi. Kodwa, xa befunda malunga nokungcatsha kwentombazana, ngoko bayamgxeka zonke izono zabo, bacaphuke, baxabane, bafune ukuxolela, okanye bahlukane nobudlelwane.
Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba bangayi kuzikhusela njani kunye nokuba bangayi kuqhuba njani kwiimeko ezinjalo, ukunyeliswa kwalowo wesifazane kubangele bathuthuke intlungu, nangona le ntlungu ikwahlukileyo. Ngoko ke, ukukhetha ukuphindisela ngokugqwetha, malunga neepesenti ezilikhulu unokuqiniseka ukuba umntu uya kuwukhawulela eminzini yomphefumlo wakhe, kwaye akayi kukulibala into enjalo ixesha elide. Kodwa, ukugqiba oku kuhamba, kufuneka uqonde uhlobo luni lweziphumo ofuna ukufikelela kuzo ekupheleni. Emva koko, yintoni abantwana abayilindeleyo kwaye oko banako ekupheleni kwahluke kakhulu.
Ukuba ibhinqa liphinde lithengise, lifuna umntu ukuba abe nosizi kwaye aguquke kwenzo. Ngokungathandabuzekiyo, uziva intlungu, kodwa akaguquki phantse. Ngoko ke, ukuba uthe wagqiba ukubuyisela ngaloo ndlela, lungela ukuba le nto iya kuba yinto yokugqibela ebuhlotsheni bakho. Inokwenzeka ukuba, loo mfana akayi kuxolela kwaye akwenze unetyala. Kwaye, unokukwazi ukuthetha ngezinto zonke ukuze bangakholwa, kodwa yena. Kufuneka uhlale ukulungele oku, kodwa ungazami ukuzithethelela okanye ukucacisa into. Oku kuya kuqinisekisa kuphela ityala lakho. Kungcono ukuhamba nje kunye nentloko yakho ephakamileyo. Emva koko, mhlawumbi, ubuncinane ubunzulu bomphefumlo, umntu uya kuqonda kwaye aqonde ukuba nguye onokusola. Kodwa, ngokuhlaziya ubudlelwane, kunokwenzeka ukuba, inkulumo ayiyi kuhamba.
Ukuba ugqiba ukuguqula ukuqinisekiswa kwakho, kodwa ungathethi nantoni na, lungela ukuba kungekudala okanye uya kuhlanjululwa yesazela. Emva koko, kungakhathaliseki ukuba sibuhlungu kangakanani, siyabaxolela abo sibathandayo. Ngoko ke, uya kufuna ukuvuma nokuguquka. Kodwa, emva kokuguquka kwakho, kunokwenzeka ukuba kuya kuba neengxabano kunye nekhefu ngenxa yezizathu ezichazwe ngasentla.
Kodwa, nangayiphi na imeko, khumbula ukuba ukunyaniseka akuyi kunceda ukuseka ubudlelwane. Nangona umntu eyamkela kwaye eqonda isigwebo sakhe, awuyi kuba nethemba. Ngokuqhelekileyo, kunzima ukwakha ubudlelwane emva kokuba ufunda ukuba umntu wasemzini usitshintshile, kwaye kunzima nakakhulu-xa lo kugqirha kubini. Ngamnye wenu, ngokuqaphelayo okanye ngokungaqondi, uya kucinga ukuba xa kwenzeka into, kuya kwenzeka kwakhona. Qalisa ukubonakalisa ukusola okungenasiphelo kunye nomona, ekugqibeleni, ekugqibeleni ukukhokelela ekugqibeleni.
Ngako oko, ngaphambi kokuba wenze isigqibo esinjalo, cinga ngokucokisekileyo kwaye ulinganise i-pros and cons. Khumbula imiphumo uze wenze isigqibo sokuba uyilungele. Ukuziphindezela okunjalo kufana nebhobho ye-athomu kumtshato wakho. Inokwenzeka ukuba, kuya kubakho ukutshabalalisa ngokubanzi konke okulungileyo. Ngoko ukuba ungeke ube nalo mntu kwakhona, vele uhambe. Kwaye kwimeko kuphela xa uqonda ukuba awukwazi ukuhlala ngokuthula, ukuba ungenzi into enje, yenze isigqibo kwisinyathelo esinjalo uze ungazisoli ngemiphumo.