Inomona - enye yeempawu ezinqabileyo, ezinokulinganayo kwaye zonakalise ubomi, kwaye ngokuphambene nanjalo, ukuba zikhuthaze ngamandla ekuziphuculeni. Into ephambili kukuba ufunde indlela yokulawula ngayo. Abantwana abanomona ongaphantsi kwabantu abadala . Indlela yokuvakalelwa komona kuchaphazela ubomi bomntwana kuxhomekeke, okokuqala, ngokuziphatha kwabazali bakhe. Eli nqaku linika iingcebiso ezisebenzayo kubazali malunga nendlela yokukhusela "ukumnyama" kwengqondo yabantwana nokufundisa umona wokwakha, obangela ukuphuhlisa ubuntu bomntwana kunye namakhono okuqonda.
Sinokuthetha izinto ezininzi kangangoko kunokwenzeka kumncinci ukuba akulungile ukuba nomona. Kodwa oko kunyanzelekile ukuba iingxoxo ezinjalo nomntwana wakho zifaka ubungqina - ingxaki ikhona, inkanuko yebhokhwe. Nangona kunjalo, kule nyaniso akukho nto iphosakeleyo-umona ungenye yeempawu ezingabonakali ezingabhubhisa ubomi, kwaye ngokungafani, ziba nefuthe elinamandla ekuziphuculeni. Into ephambili kukuba ufunde indlela yokusingatha ngayo .
Abantwana abanomona ongaphantsi kwabantu abadala. Kwaye akunandaba ukuba ekuqaleni ayidlala indima yamandla onke amnyama, ukuba ukubonakalisa kwayo kuthiwa igama elihle "ama-zawns". Ngexesha elide, banokukhula bakomelele kwaye banetyhefu ebuntwaneni, beselula, beselula ... Ngenhlanhla, oku akusoloko kunjalo, kuba umona ungenye yezimpawu ezinqabileyo ezingonakalisa ubomi ngokufanayo, kwaye ngokufanayo, ivuselelo elinamandla ekuziphuculeni.
Imizwa yabazali.
Ngokombono weengqondo zengqondo, umona awuyinto engokwemvelo kumntu , kuba ayilwanga ngokuphilayo. Kubonakala ngathi umxube wobudlova kunye nokudabuka, ekuphenduleni ukungakwazi ukufumana oko okunye, kuzalwa ngokwawo, kodwa akunjalo. Indlela yokuthelekisa, ukuhlalutya, ukuvutha komsindo kwabanye, ukunganeliseki ngokwakho kuqaliswe ekuqaleni kwasebuntwaneni, kwaye abazali badlala indima ebalulekileyo kule nto. Kucacile ukuba oku kwenzekayo kungabonakali, okwenene, ukuphikisana nokuthetha ngokungavumeleki komona. Ukuba sele sele ikwazi ukunyathela ingcambu engqondweni yengane - ixesha elide. Kwixesha elide, kuphela uluhlu lwezinto oluya kutshintsha, indlela yokuphendula iya kuhlala isalingana. Ukudlala iifenethi kunye neepatile ezizizwayo ziza kufakwa iimpahla, "ubuchule". Emva koko indawo yezentlalo yabazali babahlobo, ubuhlali babo obonwabileyo. Ngethuba lexesha lokutshintsha, ubomi buya kubangela ubuthi beentanga, "inamba kunye nemigangatho" yabahlobo babo (kubafana) kunye nabalandeli (ngamantombazana) ... Konke oku kuya kwenzeka - ewe, ukuba abazali abafuni "ukulungisa" iimpazamo.
Inyaniso yokuba inzondo ifundiswa ibonakala ngokucacileyo kumzekelo womncinci. Ukuba i-karapuzu ithanda ithoyizi, ivele ifike kwaye ithathe. Le yinjongo yemvelo yomntwana, kwaye, ke, akayikuxhomekeka ekungaqondeni abanye. Kodwa kunqabile ukuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle. Ngokuqhelekileyo "umnikazi wasemthethweni" imibhikisho, ixhaswa ngabantu abadala. Kwaye kaninzi umntwana akafuni nje, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo abaphazamisi nantoni na into, abayinikezeli indawo eyaneleyo. Kubi kakhulu xa unina othukutheleyo unxininisa kwisimo sakhe ngokuthi "uqinisekise" ukuba into enikwe yona iyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye iyimfuneko, kodwa wena, umntwana, awufanelanga (kubonakala ukuba amagama angasebenzisa izinto ezahlukeneyo, ebaluleke kakhulu, intsingiselo). Ngaloo ndlela, kubonakala kuqinisa imvakalelo. Ngolwimi lwabaqeqeshi, oku kubizwa ngokuba "kunamathela". Kulula ukuqagela ukuba umntwana emva kweengxoxo ezinjalo zemfundo wenza isigqibo esinengqiqo: " andiyaneleyo (andilungile) ."
Ukuqhathaniswa kakhulu kunye nokuqonda okuqhelekileyo kunye noontanga-ke, kungekhona ukuthanda umntwana wakhe. "Khangela, khangela, luhlobo luni lentombazana elithobelayo, kwaye wena ..."; "UPetya unobulumko ngaphezu kwakho"; "Nantsi umfanekiso omhle kaVasya" ... Hayi, njalo njalo. Ezi binzana ezingenangqondo zifundiswa ngokukhawuleza ukuba zihlale zamehlo kwabanye, ziziqhathanise ngokuzenzekelayo kunye nabo, zidibanise nomncintiswano ongenakuzikhethela-kwaye, ngokubanzi, inhlangothi-nye, njengokuba abanye abadlazi ukuba "iidemon" zinqobile umona. Kwaye enye ingongoma ebaluleke kakhulu - ngale ndlela, umama ngokuphindaphindiweyo uyacacisa umntwana ongeyithandi kakhulu.
Ukongezelela, "imvubelo" enhle xa kuvela iingxoxo zabantu abanomona, xa "amathambo ahlamba" ngabahlobo - isikhundla sabo sithelekiswa neyabo, kwaye akunandaba nokuba intloko yentsapho ibanga ngesimo esithi: "Kodwa umfazi wakhe uNN uye wahlala ... ", okanye umzekelo othi" Indlu yommelwane yatshitshisiwe. "I-trifle, kodwa inhle." Ukugcoba kunye nekhwele ngamacala amabini enye , kwaye ukuba asiyiloko siqonde oku, abantwana bafunda iipateni ezinjalo ngokukhawuleza. Ngokuqinisekileyo, konke oku kufuneke kubekho kumhlaba olungiselelwe - ukuvela komona kuququzelelwa kakhulu yimpawu zomntu ngamnye.
Umzobo womntu onomona.
Ukuba injongo kukuthabatha isithintelo sengqondo somntu omncinci, uya kuba ngumntu ongenamntu ophantsi (okanye overestimated) ukuzithemba nokweneliseka kwengqondo jikelele - kokubili kubangelwa ukungabikho kwengqalelo yomzali, inkxalabo, uthando. Xa inkwenkwe iphila ngokuvisisana nehlabathi-kwaye oku kunokwenzeka kuphela ukuba abazali bakhe bayamthanda, akayi kuba nomona ngalokho "ngokwakhe enqatshelwe". Ngeke kube nzima kuye ukutshintsha-kuba i-objection, ngaphandle kwezinto ezifunwayo, iyakwazi ukuba khona. Yaye ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana nawe, kuthetha - akuyinto into ethile, ayikhululekile kakhulu inxalenye.
Ewe, umntwana akakwazi ukuhlalutya oko akunako kwaye abuze abazali ukuba bathande . "Ukudlala" ingqondo yamathoyizi ngakwesinye icala isindiswa kwintlungu ebuhlungu bokuntuleka kothando, nangakolunye uhlangothi, ukufakwa kufakelwe: ukuba ndibe nale nto yokudlala, ndingonwabile. Emva kwakho konke, izinto ezibonakalayo ziba ngumqondiso wothando kunye nobomi ngaphandle kokwesaba nakubantu abadala , kwaye akumangalisi ukuba abantwana, bengenakuqonda, bazame ukumelana nomngeni kubantu abanesilumko esithi "Akukho ngemali yolonwabo."
Ukongezelela, kubantwana abanokuzithoba, kunesidingo esikhulu sokuzimela-ukuba kukho i-akhawunti yomntu, kwaye uchithe umonakalo oqokelelweyo kumntu onqwenelayo uba yindlela efanelekileyo. Nangona kunjalo, umona ungazibonakalisa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Omnye othulileyo unesifo sokungabi "mfuneko" ukuze abe nolonwabo olupheleleyo, omnye umntu uhlambalaza abazali abanobundlobongela, befuna oko bafuna. Ukuba ufuna ngokukhawuleza ukuzibiza kwaye "unenhlanhla" kumalungelo, umdlalo onqwenelekayo unokuphangwa okanye ufihliwe kumnini. Ubonakaliso obungabonakaliyo ukuba ungabonisane nomntu onomona, kumthinte ngokungabikho kwengqwalasela-kwaye unokukwenza wedwa, okanye unokunyelisa abahlobo bakho.
Ukwenza ngale ndlela, umntwana ngokukhawuleza ufezekisa oko akufunayo, unenkohliso yokuzihlonipha kunye namandla akhe , kodwa kunceda nje ixesha elincinane. Kwaye ke kufuneka kuhlaziywe ngokutsha ukugquma "imbungu". Ekugqibeleni, unako ukuthobela ukuhlala phantsi komnini, ekukhombiseni ukubunjwa kwimeko yobomi. Ngako-ke kunokubaninzi abangabalingisi abalungileyo: "abangenakulungelelaniswa" - lowo owayengaphantsi, akazange ahlawule ubungqina bakhe obubalaseleyo. "Ijaji elikhulu," ngokuzonwabisa kunika abo beenxa zonke iimpawu zeemferensi - ngokungafaniyo. "Nkosi uNdikhoyo" - isigqibo esilungileyo, esilungileyo okanye esingalunganga kunoma ubani uvela enkingeni ... Ewe, kwaye njenge-apotheosis - eqinisweni, "uSalieri", ngaphandle kwesazela saye "asuswe" kwindlela yakhe yamazwe aseMozambique. Ngelinye igama, kukho ezininzi izinto ezingafaniyo zophuhliso lweziganeko.
Kwaye ukuba uyayiqonda ukuba umntwana 'akayi kuba nomona ngoxhalaba' ngokupheleleyo, kodwa oku kuyilindeleke ngokwenene, kufuneka wenze into. Kuyaziwa ukuba umona uqhelekileyo "unemibala" ngemibala emibini - emnyama nomhlophe. Oku akukwenyani ngokupheleleyo, kodwa kuninzi kule kamva. Enye into eqinisekileyo-le ntliziyo iyakwazi ukulungiswa, kwaye indlela ekuchaphazela ngayo ubomi bomntwana ixhomekeke, kwakhona, kuphela ekuziphatheni okuqhubekayo kwabazali kwisimo esingathandekiyo.
"Umnyama phantsi komphefumlo wam" ...
Yeka ukuhlala ubomi bakho, uzinikele kuphela kwiingcamango zangaphandle, ngokuqhelekileyo uphumelele ngokugqithiseleyo kwaye uphumelele; bahlale behlaziya baze bazihlambele ngokwabo ngenxa yeziphene zabo, okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, basola ihlabathi lonke ngokungabi nabulungisa - konke oku kungumntu "omnyama" onomona. Kucacile ukuba ngezicwangciso ezinzima kunzima ukuyiqonda ngokupheleleyo, ukudala intsapho eyoyolo kwaye uvelise abantwana abazaliswe ngokupheleleyo . Ngethamsanqa, ukukhusela "ukumnyama" kwengqondo yabantwana akunzima kakhulu, kwanele ukuba ungavumeli iimpazamo ezithile.
Okokuqala, ngokuqinisekileyo, musa ukuqhathanisa ukuphumeza komntwana wakho kunye nokuphumelela kontanga . AmaJapan anesivakalelo somona kumntu omncinci. Kwaye kuninzi, inxaxheba ebalulekileyo kule nto yadlala ngokukhethekileyo kwindlela yokufundisa yamazwe oKhuphuka kwelanga. Nantsi kuyinto yokuqhathanisa umntwana kuphela, kwaye uqaphele ukuba ungaphila ngokuthelekisana nexesha elidlulileyo lobomi bakhe . Le ndlela ayivumeli ukuphuhliswa kwengqondo, ngokungafaniyo xa impumelelo yomntu omnye sele ihlehlisiwe. Ukuhamba endleleni, ungazami kwiingubo ezisuka kwelinye icala, kulula kakhulu ukuba umntwana akhuphe umvakalelo ongenamdla.
Ukongezelela, musa ukulawula ngokupheleleyo umntwana , kwaye mvumele, ngokuqonda kwakhe, ukuba alahle okungenani "ipropati." Kucacile ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba umama uya kuvuyela ukufunda ngokutshintshisana kwamathoyizi axabisekileyo kwiisethi zeempawu, kodwa ukuvakalisa izimangalo zomntwana kwaye "ukukhansela isivumelwano" kuye kubonelelwe ngokucacileyo - wena namava akho onke, ipropati yethu epheleleyo. Kuvela ukuba iifayili ezibonakala ngathi zinikwe yona, ngokwenene zivela kubazali, kwaye intsana ayinanto ayinayo kwaye ingayilahla ngaphandle kokujonga abadala. Kwaye ekubeni abantwana bebalaphula abantu abadala, akukho mfuneko yokugxininisa le nyaniso kwakhona.
Nangona kunjalo, kukwaphuka ukucinga ukuba umona uhamba ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba umntwana unikwe yonke into enokunikezelwa ngokufunwa. Le ndlela injenge "ukuthengwa", xa ububele babazali bengabonakali uthando, kodwa ukungathandi ukuphulaphula ngokunyanisekileyo umntwana kunye nokuqonda iingxaki zakhe . Akukho nto iyenzayo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ayiphumeli - umzekeliso opheleleyo we-movie "Toy" kunye noParry Richard. Le meko inxulumene ngqo nomona - emva kwayo yonke into, siyaphinda, okokuqala kubangelwa ukungabikho kwengqalelo kunye nothando. Ngoko ukuqikelela kungabonakalisa kuphela ingcambu yengxaki ngokukhawuleza, kodwa ingayisombululi. Kule meko, musa ukuya kwelinye icala, ulungele umntwana ukuba aqonde ubomi njengempahla yesithintelo: oku akunakwenzeka, kuyingozi; ngoko kusasa kakhulu; kodwa akufumani nje, kwaye ungakhathazeki, ndinemimoya embi.
"Ukulumka Kwetye"
Indlela yokufundisa umntwana ukuba aqondise umona ngenzuzo yakhe ngokwakhe, ngoko ke, kwabanye ? Kakade, okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukulungisa ulwalamano lwentsapho kwaye uzame ukunika umntwana ukufudumala nokuqwalasela . Kulungile, uze ulandele iingxaki. Ukuba ufuna into ebonakalayo, kwaye abazali bayibona ukuba umntwana akusiyo into engenanto, kodwa kubalulekile, kutheni ungayithengi? Sisaqhubeka sivakatye ngokungapheliyo yonke "ihlabathi lezingane", kwaye kukho izizathu ezininzi. Nangona kunjalo, akusiyo kuphela indlela yokuphuma. Unako, umzekelo, ukuchaza ngokukhawuleza ukuba ukuthenga akunakwenzeka, kukhokelela iingxabano ezinzima-kuphela ukuhlazisa umntwana. Okanye - ukuba utshintshisisa into enqwenelekayo - mfundisa ukuba akwenze. Kwaye, ukuba, umzekelo, iimvakalelo ezimbi zibangelwa yikhadibhodi yombala eyenziwe ngumhlobo, kutheni ungahlanganisi iinzame uze wenze into ekhangayo ngokufanayo?
Kodwa umona wezinto ezingezizo-kwimpumelelo yomntu, ukubonakala kubonakala kukukhuthaza ukuba ube ngumsebenzi onzima-kunye nezingane nazo . Ukongezelela, iimvakalelo ezinjalo ziba zizathu ezifanelekileyo zokufumana isisombululo esheshayo kwinkalo ethile, nangayiphi na imeko, kubonakaliswe ngokucacileyo, yintoni ekumele ihlawulwe ngayo - kuyacaca ukuba inomona kuphela ebalulekileyo, ecacileyo. Kwaye, ukuxazulula ingxaki esiphuthumayo, umntu unokufundisa kuphela ukufezekisa, ukuya kwiinjongo, kodwa nokwenza ngaphandle kwento ethile, ukulahla izigwenxa, nangona yonke into ikuvuyela impumelelo yommelwane wakho . Musa nje ukuthabatha ukuba uqiniseke "kodwa": Kakade, awuyikuphumelela, kodwa ufunda izibongo kakuhle. Esi simo sengqondo, siphindaphindwa ngaso sonke ixesha, sisoloko sinegalelo ekungqineni ukuba umntwana uyangena, akanako ukufezekisa umntu wakhe omncinci. Kungcono ukusebenzisa enye ifomula - " nangona kunjalo ." Ewe, ngeli xesha kwakungenakwenzeka, kodwa nangona kunjalo usenetalente, ukhaliphile, uya kuphumelela ngokuzayo ngexesha elizayo.
Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokusombulula isisombululo, kwaye ngubani kubo oya kuba ngumsindisi womntwana osombulula ngokulula ngabazali. Enye into eqinisekileyo-akumele uyenze ukuba ingxaki ayikhoyo, uyathuthuzela intanda yakho ngegama eliqhelekileyo "akukho nto inomona" -kuba kuba kukho ubungqina, kufuneka ujamelane nabo, kunye nemigudu edibeneyo.
nnmama.ru