Abazali mabaqaphele: indlela yokukhulisa umntwana onoyolo

Akukho mzali ngamnye ocinga ngokugqithiseleyo ngokubaluleka kwendima yakhe ekwakheni ubuntu bomntwana. Njengomthetho, abaninzi abazali banciphisa inkqubo enzima yenkxaso kwiindawo ezikhuthazayo kunye nezijeziso eziqhelekileyo, ngokukhohlisa ngokukholelwa ukuba "i-kroti kunye nokunamathela" kuya kwenza umsebenzi wabo ngokwabo - baya kuzisa umntu ofanelekileyo. Kodwa ukubamba kukuba le ndlela inomgca omnye kwaye ayiyincinci encinci ekuphuhliseni ubuntu obumanyanisiweyo. Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuchanekileyo, makhe sizame ukuqonda iinqununu zethu namhlanje.

Amaxhoba amaxhoba ...

Isazi sengqondo esaziwayo, umbhali weencwadi ezininzi ze-psychosomatics nokukhula komntu siqu, umfanekiso wesithethe kunye nomzekelo wokulingisa uLouise L. Hay encwadini yakhe ethi "Ungatshintsha njani ubomi bakho" ubhala ukuba sonke sinamaxhoba amaxhoba. Uqinisekile ukuba amava omzali ngamnye kuthiwa athatha umntwanakho akhiwa ngokubaluleka kobuntwaneni kunye nobudlelwane kunye nabazali. Ngamanye amazwi, abazali abakwazi ukufundisa umntwana oko bona ababazuzanga ngokwabo kubazali babo. Le ndlela yenkinga, umzekelo, ukuba kutheni kunzima kakhulu kwiinkedama ezingakaze zithandane nothando lwabazali ukuze zifumane intsapho yabo epheleleyo kwixesha elizayo.

Kwaye ngoku ucinga ngeliphi liva elibi labazali bakho oqhubayo kubantwana bakho? Mhlawumbi ufana noyihlo engayinaki impumelelo yengane yakho? Okanye mhlawumbi uyamsola ngesiqhelo ngenxa yento yonke? Okanye awumxeleli ukuba uyamthanda, kuba unyoko akazange akwenze ngexesha lakhe? Ukuba ubamba kakuhle kwimemori yakho, unokufumana imimiselo eninzi ukususela ebuntwaneni, ophinde uphile ubomi kwimfundo yabantwana bakho. Ukuqaphela oku, musa ukukhawuleza ukugxeka abazali babo, kuba kunjalo, njengawe, akukho mntu ufundise ubugcisa bemfundo. Yamkela amava abo kwaye ngokugqithiseleyo udibanise ingqungquthela enokungaqondi kakuhle ngokuqala indlela yakho yokunceda ekufundiseni isizukulwana esitsha sentsapho yakho. Qaphela ukuba ukufundisa kakuhle umntwana wakho, awuyi kuthokoza nje kuphela, kodwa ubeka isiseko sobuntwaba obumnandi kubazukulwana bakho.

Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana: indima kayise nonina kwintsapho

Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana ngokuchanekileyo? Kunzima kunika impendulo engabonakaliyo kulo mbuzo. Kakade ke, kukho iincwadi ezininzi zokufundisa nokufunda kwengqondo yengqondo, apho iimfihlelo zokuvelisa umntwana onoyolo kwaye uphumelele zifihlwe. Kodwa ezininzi zezi "mfihlelo" ziyaziwa ngamnye kuthi. Enye into yokuba akuyena wonke umzali osebenzisa ngokufanelekileyo olu lwazi ngokumalunga nomntwana wakhe. Ngokuqhelekileyo, isizathu salo mkhuba singokungabikho kwengcamango ecacileyo yento efanelekileyo yokukhuliselwa.

Okokuqala, ukuphuhliswa kobuntu obumanyeneyo, kungakhathaliseki ukuba isini, kufuneka ukuba zombini isistim kunye nendoda endle kwintsapho. Ezi ndlela zihluke kakhulu komnye, kodwa zizaliswe ngokugqibeleleyo, ukudala indlela epheleleyo. Yingakho kwiintsapho ezingaphelelanga, apho kuphela kubazali kuphela, kunzima kunika umntwana ingcamango echanekileyo yendima yentsapho nabesifazana. Oko ke, ichaza ipesenti ephakamileyo yowesahlukaniso phakathi kwabo ba khulele kwiintsapho ezingaphelelanga.

Uthini umahluko phakathi kwesibini kunye nendoda ekukhuliseni? Njengomthetho, ootata bafuna kakhulu abantwana babo, bengaphantsi kwengqondo kwaye banengqiqo. Bayakwazi ukuyeka imvakalelo engabonakaliyo kwimeko engqubuzanayo kwaye benze isigwebo esilungileyo kwimeko engqubuzanayo. Oomama banemvakalelo, kaninzi bajame ngokungenangqiqo kwicala lomntwana kwimibandela engqubuzanayo kwaye bathambekele ekumthetheleleni nantoni na, nokuba yinto ebi kakhulu, izenzo. Kodwa nangona kunjalo, uthando lomama, xa engathandekiyo kwaye engaboniyo, lukhuthaza ukunyaniseka kwintsana, lunikezela ngenkxaso yokuziphatha, inika umxholo wokhuseleko. Igunya likayise kunye nokunciphisa umama ndawonye kwenza isiseko esilungileyo sokukhulelwa komntwana onoyolo. Ngoko ke, ukuba iimboli zesini kunye noomama zichazwe ngokucacileyo kwintsapho, abantwana bafunda ukuzimela, baphendule ngezenzo zabo, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo bayazi ukuba bathande baze banakekele abanye. Kwimeko apho omnye wabazali engekho okanye iindima zabantu abadala ziyafuduswa, oku kunzima kakhulu.

Yintoni ukukhuliswa okufanelekileyo komntwana?

Ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba kwinkqubo yemfundo ngamnye kubazali kufuneka bafeze indima yabo, baqonda. Ngoku ke masithethe ngezinto ezibandakanyiweyo kwinqaba "yokukhulisa." Ukuba kudala, ukukhuliswa kuthiwa yinkqubo enenjongo yobunjani bomntu, olungiselela ukuthatha inxaxheba kwimpilo yenkcubeko nentlalo ngokuhambelana nemimiselo yoluntu ehlala kuyo. Ngamanye amagama, ukufundisa umntwana, simfundisa imithetho yokuziphatha kunye nendlela yokusebenzisana nabanye. Kwaye le nkqubo ininzi kakhulu. Imfundo efanelekileyo ayikhawulelwanga kuphela kwimigaqo yendlela yokuziphatha kunye nobubele. Iquka, umzekelo, kwaye:

Ngamanye amagama, ukwenzela ukuba akhulise umntwana ngokuchanekileyo, omnye umele amfundise ukuba yinxalenye yoluntu, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo akayi kutshintsha imibono yakhe kwaye ahlale ehlala.

Iingcebiso ezifanelekileyo: indlela yokukhulisa umntwana onoyolo

Ngoku, ukuqonda okokuthi "ukukhushulwa" yintoni kanye kunye neenjongo eziyimfuneko ukuba ziqhutyelwe kwinkqubo yayo, kunokwenzeka ukuxoxa kunye neengcebiso eziza kunceda ukukhula umntwana onoyolekileyo okhulelwe.

Icebo # 1: Ukubonisa uthando, inkxaso kunye nokuqonda

Iseluleko sokuqala kubaninzi sinokubonakala silula - ukuba sinike uthando kunye nenkxaso kubantwana bethu. Kodwa apha umbuzo awukho kakhulu ebusweni beengqondo njengoko kuthethwa ngqo. Uhlala uxelela umntwana ukuba uyamthanda kaninzi? Udlalela kangangoko ukuba udumise ngenxa yeempumelelo ezinkulu kunye ezincinci? Ubonisa kaninzi kangakanani inkxaso yakho kwimeko enzima? Abantu abadala bacinga ukuba zonke iintshukumo zethu zizithetha zona: sondla, sigqoke, sithenge iidyski kwaye siqhube kwiindawo ezikhangayo. Ngaba akwanele ukuba umntwana aqonde ukuba simthanda kangakanani? Akunjalo nje ngokwaneleyo, kodwa nakwimeko engalunganga. Inkxaso yabazali ibonakaliswe kwiingcebiso kunye nokuthatha inxaxheba, kungekhona kwizinto eziphathekayo. Kubalulekile ukuthetha ngothando kwaye ubonise ngokubanga kwaye udibanise. Ukuqonda kufuneka kube ngaphandle kokugxeka.

Ibhodi yenombolo 2: Inxaxheba ngokuzithandela kwiingxaki zezingane

Kuphela ukusuka ekuphakameni kweminyaka edlulileyo ukuba ukungquzulana kunye nabafundi ofunda nabo, uthando olungathandekiyo kunye namabakala amabi kungabonakala ngathi bangaboni, ongazifanelekanga. Kodwa ngomntwana zonke ezi "ngonyango" zakha isiseko sehlabathi labantwana kwaye zibangele iingxaki ezininzi. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ixesha liya kudlula kwaye umntwana uya kukulibala malunga nokubi. Yaye ukuba uthe wahlala kude neemeko ezifanayo, umntwana uya kusinda kweli lizwe ngaphandle kwakho. Uya kusinda kwaye afunde ukungayinaki iingxaki zabantwana babo kwikamva. Kwaye kwangaphambili uya kukuyeka ukuzinikezela kumava akhe, ngokukhawuleza abe ngumntwana ongenakubekezela kwaye ongenamdla. Ungaphuthelwa ithuba lokuba yingxenye ebalulekileyo yobomi bomntwana wakho. Thatha inxaxheba ebomini bakhe, wabelane ngamava akhe, umncede afune indlela yokuphuma kwiimeko ezinzima, wabelane ngamava akhe.

Ibhodi yenombolo 3: Vumela umntwana inkululeko

Ukumanyaniswa kunye ne-hyperope ngamacala amabini enye. Ukuba usenokwenene ukuba ukholelwa ukuba unakekele umntwana wakho rhoqo, uyamnika ukhuseleko olupheleleyo kunye nobuntwabisayo obunomdla, ngoko ulahlekile kakhulu. Okokuqala, ukugcinwa ngokugqithiseleyo kumgca yonke imbewu yokuzimela, ukulahla umntwana onelungelo lokukhetha. Okwesibini, ukuziphatha okunjalo kwabazali akunikezeli ngamava okuvavanywa kunye nephutha. Okwesithathu, ngokukhawuleza okanye kamva i-hyperopeak ikhokelela ekungabikho kokuthanda, okanye ukuxhathisa. Ngoko ke, ukuba awufuni ukuvelisa umntu ongenakulungele ubomi obuzimeleyo okanye umntu ongafaniyo, ke ngoko unqande ngokukhawuleza yonke imbonakalo ye-hyperopeaching. Nika umntwana ithuba lokwenza iimpazamo, umfundise ukwenza izigqibo aze athathe uxanduva lweempazamo zakhe. Ngoko uyamfundisa ukuba angesabi ukuqonda amaphupha abo, kuba yinkokheli phakathi koontanga.

Icebo # 4: Yonke into yokumodareyitha

Uthando olugqithiseleyo, ngokugqithiseleyo ngokulinganayo kumchaphazela kakhulu umntwana. Iimvakalelo, zombini ezilungileyo kunye nezimbi, kufuneka ukuba zibe khona kwinkqubo yemfundo. Kodwa bonke bafanele bazibonakalise ngokumodareyitha, ngaphandle kokunyaniseka nokugqithisa. Khumbula ukuba ubunzima obugqithiseleyo bubonwa ngumntwana, njengokungabikho kunye noxinzelelo. Ngokomzekelo, abazali abahloniphekileyo bavame ukukhulisa abantwana abanemibono ye-anarchic abangayiqondi nayiphi na imithetho kunye nemigangatho. Ngoko ke, xhaphaza ngokuthe ngqo, uhlale unenjongo kwaye ungalibali ngokuxhaswa ngexesha elifanelekileyo.

Iphulo # 5: Musa ukumisela uluvo lwakho namaphupha

Umsebenzi womzali ukufundisa umntwana ngokuqeqesha. Kwaye njengomgaqo, amava omntu omdala uba sisiseko sale nkqubo. Ngexesha elifanayo, abazali abaninzi, bekhokelwa ngumgaqo "wokunganyanzeli kabini kwinqanaba elinye," bakhetha ukunika umntwana isisombululo esilungele zonke iingxaki zakhe. Bazama ukunyanzelisa izimvo zabo, kodwa ngelo xesha bayazibala ukuba amava abo ngabanye. Kwaye akukho imfuneko ukuba kwimeko efanayo kwaye ulandele umzekelo womzali, umntwana uya kuphepha iimpazamo kunye nokuhluleka. Yonke into ongayenzayo kukuxelela malunga namava akho afanayo kwaye uchazele intanda yakho ukuba unokusebenzisa ulwazi lwakho.

Kuyafana nokufakela izifiso zabo namaphupha abo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unokuyitshintshe umntwana ukuba athathe izifundo ze-ballet okanye azibhalele kwisikolo somculo. Kodwa ukunyanzelisa umntwana ukuba enze into enenzondelelo yoshishino, ukuba nje ukwanelisa izifiso zakhe ezingazaliseki, akunakwenzeka. Le nkunkuma yexesha, amandla kunye nemali, ihamba kunye nokudumala.

Indlela yokukhulisa umntwana ngaphandle kokumemeza nokujezisa?

Iingcebiso zeBhunga, uyazichasa, kodwa ngobomi bokwenene ukuba ube ngumzekelo wokuqonda kunye noxolo olupheleleyo kunye nabantwana kunzima. Kwaye, njengomthetho, bejamelene nokuhlala bengathobeli, abazali abaninzi bahlabela ukukhwaza baze basebenzise zonke iintlobo zezijeziso. Ukusuka kwinqanaba leengqondo, ukuziphatha okunjalo kwabazali kukubonakalisa ubuthathaka. Amandla kunye nokuthotywa ngokumalunga nomntwana, obuthathaka kunene kuwe, ubonisa uhlobo lwekhadi lokugqibela lokuxilongo kumkhwa womzali. Ukongezelela, ukunyamezela rhoqo umntwana, ufundisa ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba unelungelo elinamandla nangaphezulu. Kodwa ngakumbi nakakhulu kukuba umntwana ngokukhawuleza uhlakulela "uhlobo lokuzikhusela" ekunyuseni ukwanda kweengcinga kwaye uqala nje ukungahoywa nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha kwabadala. Ngoko ke, abantwana bahlala bephosakele izinto ezibalulekileyo, bathi ngelizwi elikhulu okanye ngezwi elihle. Kwaye konke oku, ngelixa ukukhala kwezemfundo ekuqaleni kuqhuba umsebenzi olungileyo wokulumkisa malunga nosongelo kunye nobungozi.

Kuzo zonke ezi ngasentla, unokwenza izigqibo ezimbini. Okokuqala, ukumemeza nokujezisa akufanele kube yingxenye ebalulekileyo yokukhuliswa komntwana wakho. Isiphetho sesibini sinokubonakala ngathi abaninzi banokuphikisana, kodwa ngokusebenzayo kusebenza ngokugqibeleleyo. Unokumemeza kumntwana, kodwa kufuneka uyenze oku nje kwiimeko eziphuthumayo. Ngokomzekelo, xa umntwana esengozini yengozi yangempela ngendlela yenja enobudlova okanye, ngesivinini esikhulu, imoto. Emva koko, emva kokugxeka ukunyaniseka kwakhe, kwaye kungekhona yena, ubonisa ukukhathazeka kwakho, kwaye ithoni yakho ephakamileyo iya kuqinisa ubungqina beemeko. Kodwa makhe sibuyele, uhlobo olunjalo lokukhala kunye nezohlwayo kufuneka lube yinto ehlukile ngaphandle komgaqo osisigxina. Kule meko kuphela baya kusebenza ngokufanelekileyo.

Ukuqulunqa iziphumo ezincinci, sinokuhlukanisa imigaqo emiselweyo yemfundo echanekileyo:

Kwaye into ephambili kukuba ngumzekelo omhle wale mpawu ukuze ukhulise umntwana onobubele, uthembeke kwaye unqandeke. Ngoko qalisa inkqubo yokukhulisa abantwana kuwe!