Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umntwana ophethe iingelosi, efikelele kwiminyaka emine, utshintsho olukhulu, ukuziphatha kwakhe kungabi nako ukulawula, inkwenkwe ihlale imikhosi, ihambelana, ixhamla, ixabana kunye neentloko kunye nabadala, ngokuyinhloko abazali. Kwaye ngoku, kubazali, okokuqala, umonde uyadingeka. Kulula kakhulu ukumemeza, ukuhlambalaza, usana olungenangqondo, unike upapa kunokuba ube nomonde kwaye uncede umntwana wakho aphile enye inqanaba lokukhula kwakhe.
Abantwana abaneminyaka emine banomdla kakhulu. Bafunda ngokubanzi ihlabathi elibajikelezile. Ngelo xesha, umntwana uqala ukudala ubudlelwane kunye nenyaniso ejikelezayo, kwizenzo zabanye, ukucinga okulungileyo okanye okungekho nto ngezenzo zabantu abadala. Sekudlulileyo kule minyaka uvinjisa into kwintsana yakhe, kufuneka uyenze kuphela ukuvinjelwa, kodwa ingcaciso yokukhonkxa, oko kungukuthi "akavunyelwe", kodwa "kutheni ungabi."
Kule minyaka, kubalulekile ukufundisa umntwana ukuba ahlaziye izenzo zakhe, enze ukucaca okucacileyo phakathi kokusebenza okuhle nokulungileyo. Ngezenzo ezintle kufuneka udumise, kunye nehlazo elibi kwaye ungagxeki, kodwa ukuchaza into engalunganga. Kubalulekile ukuvumela umntwana ukuba uyindoda encinci kwaye intanda, kodwa oko akwenziyo akulungile. Xhumana nomculo kwiinkcubeko ezithile zokuziphatha, kuba "hlwayela" ngoku, "uvune" kwixesha elizayo. Fundisa ukuhlonipha abadala. Kwakhona kubalulekile ukufundisa umntwana ukuba agcine umyalelo kwindlu, aqheleke kwimicimbi yasekhaya, kodwa kungekhona ngokumemeza nokuhleleka kwetheyibhile, kodwa ngemisebenzi egciniweyo egciniweyo enomdlalo odlalwayo. Ngoko awuyi kukubetha ukuzingela, ukuchasana, kubangela umdla kunye nemvakalelo emihle.
Xa uneminyaka emine, umntwana kufuneka adlulane kunye noontanga. Ukunxibelelana okunjalo kubumba izakhono zokuqhotyoshelana nabanye abantu, ngaphandle, oku kukuqala kobudlelwano bobuhlobo.
Abantwana abaneminyaka emine banobuhlungu kakhulu. Ukugxeka ulwahlulelo lwabo kufuneka kulungiswe, kodwa kungabi ngxaki. Abantwana beli lizwe badinga "indlela yokuphuma" yolwazi, ngoko umyalelo wabazali ukuxhasa ngokugcwele umntwana wabo ngolwazi lwehlabathi elibangqongileyo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umntwana, ngaphambi kokuba amthande ngokunyanisekileyo unina, ngokuqala kweminyaka emine ubudala, uqala ukuwukhanyela kwaye athi akayithandi. Kubalulekile ukuthatha lo mzuzwana ngokuzolileyo kwaye ungaphumeleli kwaye uphazamiseke. Mhlawumbi umntwana wakho udinga ukubonakaliswa kothando, ukunakwa, kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, ukummqonda njengomntu ozama ukwenza isenzo esizimeleyo.
Ngezansi ziingcebiso eziphambili ezikunceda ukucokola ubudlelwane obunzima phakathi kwabantwana nabazali babo:
- Khuthaza umntwana ukuba enze izinto ezintle. Ngokuqhelekileyo umdumise ngaphezu kohlwaya. Ngaloo ndlela, umntwana uya kuba nesimo esihle sengqondo ebomini.
- Smile kaninzi kwaye ujabule nomntwana wakho. Kungangoko unako ukubeka ingqalelo kumntwana wakho, hamba kunye. Isimo sengqondo esilungileyo senza umntwana onwabe kwaye enempilo, kunye nokudibanisa ngokubambisana kuya kunika isiseko sobudlelwane obufudumele kwixesha elizayo.
- Mamela ngokucophelela umntwana wakho, ncokola naye, ungaphikisani ngokugqithiseleyo, nangona ungavumelani noluvo lwakho lwentsana.
- Ukuba uthembisa into kumntwana wakho, soloko uzalisekisa isithembiso sakho. Ngoko uyakha isimo sengqondo esinoxanduva kumagama abo ukususela kwiminyaka yobudala. Ukongezelela, ukudumala kunye nokulindela okungekho nkohliso kunzima kakhulu kwengqondo yomntwana.
- Ukuba unqatshelwe into kumntwana, kufuneka kube ngonaphakade, kungekhona namhlanje, kodwa ngomso unako, ngenxa yokuba isimo sakho sengqondo sitshintshile.
- Ungaze uqalekise okanye ubize umntwana wakho.
- Zama ukuxubusha iingxaki zentsapho kunye nomntwana kwaye ungaxabani, njengoko oku kuya kuphazamisa umntwana wakho kwaye kuza kukulimaza.
- Ukuba umntwana uyamemeza okanye ahlabe, efuna ukuzola, kungcono ukumnyanzela umntwana uze ubambe aze ade aphumle.
Abazali bomntwana oneminyaka emine kufuneka bathathe isigqibo sokuba luhlobo luni lomntu omele aluphakamise: ovulekile, onomusa, onobumnandi okanye ovaliweyo okanye ovuthayo. Abantwana, ngaphezu kwazo zonke, ukukopisha abadala, ngoko nikela ingqalelo ekuziphatheni kwabo, ubudlelwane bomnye nomnye, inkcubeko yokuziphatha kwintsapho. Ukuba awuyithandi into ekusebenzeni komntwana, khangela "ikhonkwane" kuwe. Imfundo esemgangathweni ngumzekelo wobudlelwane beentsapho ezihambelanayo. Kwaye nangona ukukhuliswa kwabantwana kuyinkalo enzima kakhulu, kodwa kubazali abanengqiqo kunye nabahlakaniphileyo abafundanga kuphela kodwa bafunda ngokwabo, kunokwenzeka ukuqonda le nkqubo.