Ubudlelwane buyinto enobunzima kakhulu. Kuyafaneleka ukukhubeka, kwaye yonke into iyawa. Kodwa ngokwenene ingcinezelo yeengxaki zikhohlakeleyo, okanye ngokuthe ngqo?
Kwaye zingaphi iintlobo ezahlukeneyo malunga nendlela abafazi batshintsha ngayo! Kwaye bahlaziyekile, kwaye batshintsha amadoda abo ngokomoya ... Isigwebo sokugweba!
Kodwa ukungcatsha kwindoda yakhe kukugqithiseleyo ukubonakalisa ukunganeliseki kunye nolwalamano. Ngoko ke, ngokucinga nangokuchanekileyo, ngaphandle kokugweba, siya kuzama ukuqonda isizathu esibangela ukukrexeza kwabasetyhini kunye nendlela yokubuyisela ubuhlobo emva kokungcatshiswa kumntu, kunye.
Kwenzeke njani?
Kwimithombo emininzi-ukusuka kwiphepha lamaphephandaba ukuya kwenzululwazi yengqondo yeengqondo - kuthethwa ukuba ukukrexeza kwabasetyhini kwahlukileyo kwindoda. Kuba umntu (onjengaye) kuyimvelo ukuthanda okungakumbi - kuquka nabasetyhini abaninzi.
Ibhinqa lisityholwa yinto engatshintshi ngayo umzimba kakhulu njengomoya okanye umphefumlo. Kule nto inengqiqo, kodwa kwakhona, musa ukunyanisela okanye ukwakha iinjongo ezizimeleyo ngokupheleleyo.
Enye into kukuba kukho inkohlakalo enjalo, kwaye isiphelo esivela kuso - nokuba sisisilumko okanye sisenzo esilungileyo, kwaye iimvakalelo azibuyanga. Ngokuqhelekileyo umntu osingaqhelekanga (okanye ubuncinane omnye) kubonakala kubafazi abahloniphekileyo, abanyanisekileyo, abanobubele ... Kulula kakhulu ukuxhoma ezo mabhalo ezithandayo kwaye zisikhuthaze.
Kodwa ke loo ntokazi inokude idideke - njengoko ivela, kwaye iziphuzo, kwaye kunye nabahlobo bayanyamalala, kunye nenkosikazi yakhe iziphatha ngendlela engathandekiyo. Namhlanje udinga ukuhlaselwa kwamanzi entlango, ngomso - "musa ukuhamba," "ungakhathazeki," okanye isizathu esingcwele - "kufuneka ndisebenze."
Ngexesha elinjalo yonke into iyawa kwindawo. Yaye yam, eyakho, nangona kungabi njengokuba ithandwa kakhulu njengaphambili, iyasondela kwaye iqondwe ngakumbi. Akukuphela nje ukusilela kwakhe xa kuthelekiswa nomlingo osisigxina - kodwa sinesidima esingenammiselo. Kodwa indlela yokubuyisela ubuhlobo emva kokungcatsha umntu-kunzima ukuthetha.
Yintoni endiyenzayo?
Ngoko, ubuhlobo bubuyela kwikhosi eqhelekileyo. Kodwa ukuba ngaphambi kokuba uhlambele umntu wakho "ekhaya" wayesazi into enokuyithemba ngayo, emva koko "ukunyuka ngakwesobunxele" ukuba uphinde uthembele akulula.
Njengoko uqeqesho lubonisa, ukuzithoba nokuncenga ukuxolelwa akukhokeli nto enhle. Ngaba ubuyisela njani ubuhlobo emva kokungcatshiswa komntu, ukuba afune ukuxolelwa?
Musa ukuxhomekeka ekuxoleleni
Awudingi ukucela ukuba uxolelwe. Kule ndoda inomsindo wokuthintela into engcolileyo, inobuthathaka nokugula. Ufuna ulwalamano, kwaye kungekhona "buhlungu, uhlala ubomi"? Emva koko imodeli efanelekileyo yokuziphatha
Xelela yonke inyaniso, nangakumbi
Thembeka, kodwa ngobuqili. Emva koko, uyayidinga le ndoda, kunye nezinga elifanayo kumgangatho wokuqala? Ngoko wayethanda, waqonda, waxabisa ...
Kunzima kakhulu ukuphinde uthembeke, kunoko, kunokutshatyalaliswa. Kodwa kufuneka kwenziwe, mhlawumbi kungekho ngendlela eqhelekileyo.
Ngaba ufuna "ukuxolelwa"? Xela ukuba kutheni ufuna le "ubuhlobo". Xoxa ngale nto kunye nendoda yakho. Ixesha elide lomsindo, ukungaqondi kakuhle kwakho, kuhle kakhulu. Iimvakalelo ezintle ezintle - inzondo okanye, ngokuthe ngqo, ubukho obude obude kwintsapho.
Oku akusisizathu. Ezi ziyinyani, ngenxa yoko wanquma ukunikela (okanye "kwenzeka" kuwe okwesikhashana ngenxa yokungaqondakali kwakho). Kwaye ukubuyisela ubuhlobo emva kokungcatshiswa komntu, ngokukhawuleza uvume ukubuyela kumdla kuye, ukuthandwayo kwaye ngoku kuphela.
Umsi womlilo ongenakwenzeka
Kodwa ngaphambi kokuba uzame ukubuyisela ubuhlobo, emva kokungcatsha indoda kufuneka iqwalaselwe ngokucokisekileyo. Emva koko, into enokungabaza ukuba "inye"? Okanye mhlawumbi iphule iiglasi ezibomvu, uhlobo olwenziwe ngalo ngenye ixesha?
Akunamadoda afanelekileyo, kwaye sonke sinyanzeliswa ukuba sikwazi ukunyamezela ukusilela kwabantu. Omnye utshaya, okwesibini uyamncoma, okwesithathu ayithandi ukufumana imali kwaye akanako ... Wonke umntu unayo "amathambo emakhonkco", izinto ezintle ezingathandekiyo kunye nokukhwabanisa okungenzi ubomi bakho bube lula.
Kwaye uwamthanda-into ethile. Uthande le ndoda ethile. Kwaye, ekugqibeleni, wabuyela kuye, nangona kungenanto yokungabi nantlanu. Ngoko, kubalulekile ukumbona umntu wakho njengokuba kwenzeka ngezinye izihlandlo - unamandla, unesibindi, unqwenelekayo ...
Ukuthintela ukukrexeza kwabasetyhini
Awusayi kuhlaselwa kwiimeko ezinjalo, xa uthandana nobudenge komnye umntu, kwaye ubuyela ekhaya emva kwentlanganiso evuthayo, inceda ukuthatha umbono ochanekileyo wobomi kunye nobudlelwane. Inyaniso encinci ngamadoda ayiyithintelo - kunoko, iya kuba "i-wand-wand", ukuba uthe wuleza ucinge ngomntu womnye umntu.
Enyanisekileyo, amadoda okwenene awanjalo. Ngako oko, oomama bahlala besenza izinto ezincitshiswayo, benethemba lokuba baya kuzinyamezela, bathandane okanye balawulwe ngandlela-thile.
Kwaye siya kudanisa. Musa ukukhathalela, kungekhona njengokwethenjelwa njengoko ufuna. Ngaloo mzuzwana, ufuna ukubalekela, ukugqithisa ubudlelwane, okanye ngakumbi nakakhulu - ukujezisa, ukubetha, njengentombazana enetyala.
Kodwa sonke sifuna ukuvuna iziqhamo zemizamo yethu kunye neenkolelo. Unqwenela ukhuseleko - ukwazi ukuba kule miba ungeyingozi. Ngokungafaniyo nomgaqo-myalelo we-frank "ocebileyo-ntlupheko", "owaziwayo-ongaziwa" kunye nezinto ezifana. Kwaye ngoku kufuneka sikwazi ukunyamezela ubukho obuyimpunga.
Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kulwalamano olunjalo oluqinileyo olufuna ukuba yiwe, pha kamisa abantwana, "ukusuka apha" unokwakha umsebenzi okanye ujonge inxaxheba yowesifazane ozithandayo ... xabisa! Musa ukulibala ukuba kutheni yonke into efana nangoko ufuna.