Ewe, unokuthi ngokukhawuleza ukuba kuyafaneleka, kuba uyayithanda. Kodwa xa udibanisa ubomi nomzali ongabodwa, akufanele ucinge kakhulu ngeemvakalelo zakhe malunga nomntwana.
Yingakho abanye abafazi bakholelwa ukuba akufanelekile ukudibana noobawo bodwa. Mhlawumbi uya kubuza: kutheni, ngenxa yokuba uyabathanda abantwana kwaye ulungile kubo? Ewe, abantwana abanothando bahle kakhulu. Kodwa nathi sithanda amakati kunye neenja. Oko kuphela ukuba isilwanyana senze into engalunganga, unokumemelela, vumela ukuhamba kwenkomfa kwaye ungayithobeli ingqalelo. Ngomntwana, awukwazi ukwenza oku. Ngokukodwa xa engumphambukeli. Ewe, akulimazi, kodwa kuthatha ngaphezu kwenyanga ukuba umfana abe ngumntwana kuye. Khumbula ukuba xa umntu ethatha uxanduva olunjengokukhulisa unyana okanye intombi, uyamthanda kwaye ufuna ukumisela unina ngamandla akhe onke. Ngako oko, loo mfana uyazikhusela umntwana kumntu onokumcaphukisa.
Ngokuqinisekileyo ucinga ukuba awukwazi ukuyenza, kodwa kubonakala nje kuphela ekuqaleni. Qonda ukuba xa uceba ulwalamano olunzulu, kuya kufuneka uxelele uxanduva lokukhulisa umntwana. Kwaye oku akulula nhlobo. Xa umntwana uneminyaka emibini okanye emithathu ubudala kwaye unomzali omnye kuphela, umntwana akakwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwayo. Kungenzeka ukuba, engazi, uyesaba ukushiywa, kuba uvakalelwa kukuba intsapho yakhe ayiphelelanga. Ngako oko, ngupapa oyenaye oyedwa kunye nesigqibo sokugqibela kuye. Ngokuqinisekileyo, abantwana abancinci bayasetyenziselwa ukungaqhelekanga kubantu abangabazi. Kwaye kwangoko ukhula. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ulungele ukuba ekuqaleni, kwintlanganiso nganye, inkunzi iya kuyika, ikhale kwaye ifihla emva koyise. Kodwa, xa ekugqibeleni ekuqhotyoshelweyo kuwe, ngoko ukuba wena kunye nenkwenkwe iyahlukana, umntwana uya kufumana ingcinezelo entsha yengqondo. Ungalokothi ulibale loo nto.
Kwakhona, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ulwalamano olunzulu kunye nootata oyedwa kuthetha ukuba uya kuhlala uthatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni umntwana wakhe. Ngendlela, awunalo ilungelo lokuqwalasela umntwana "kuphela." Ukukhokelwa ngoluvo, bafazi, xa bexhaxiswa ngumthwalo womntwana womnye umntu, baqale ukuxelela uyise ukuba lo ngumntwana wakhe, kwaye kufuneka abhekane nabo. Ngoko akunakwenzeka ukwenza. Ukuba uqala ukutshata nomfana onomntwana, ngoko uthabatha le nkomo ebomini bakho. Ngoko cinga, unayo amandla okwaneleyo nomonde wokukhupha umntwana wakho, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo uyamphatha ngokungathi uyakho. Ngaba awukwazi ukumemeza ngalo lonke ixesha, ube nesineke, ubulumko kwaye uqonde. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba awukwazi ukujamelana nalo msebenzi, ungayithandi njani loo nto, kungcono ukuba ungaqali ulwalamano naye. Kungenzeka ukuba, baya kuphelisa ngokungahambi kakuhle, ngenxa yokuba indoda ayifuni ukunyamezela ukunyaniseka kwintsana yakhe kwaye iya kuthi iqalise ikhefu. Ukuze angakonakali ngengqondo yakhe, yena nomntwana, kungcono ukunqanda ulwalamano olunjalo.
Iingxaki zendalo ezahlukeneyo zingavela xa umntwana ekhulile. Kule meko, abantwana abaninzi babonisa ubugovu kwaye baqala ukukholisa upapa ukuba abayidingi unina womnye. Ngoko ke, ukuba iqabane lakho linalo ngunyana okanye intombi enjalo, kufuneka ulungele iziqephu ezinkulu. Umsebenzi wakho uya kuba ukuphumelela uthando nothemba lomntwana. Kodwa ukwenza oko akulula. Khumbula ukuba kuya kufuneka unyamezele kwaye uginye izikhalazo ezininzi, uzibambe, endaweni yokukhusela amalungelo akho. Abantwana abasetyenziselwa ukuhlala kuphela nomzali omnye, ngubani owamnika ingqwalasela eninzi, akafuni ukuba ngoku ubaba athathe ingqalelo komnye umntu. Ngako oko, kufuneka uqinisekise imihla ngemihla kumntwana onokufanelwa nothando lukabawo kwaye akayi kuthatha nantoni na kuye. Ngokuqinisekileyo, ekugqibeleni, umntwana uya kukubona, kodwa indlela eya kwesi siphumo ingaba ixesha elide kunokuba ulindele. Yingakho, kubalulekile ukuvavanya ngokwaneleyo amandla abo, amandla kunye nomonde. Kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba le nkwenkwe okanye intombazana, eqinisweni, ayifuni ukukulimaza. Ngokulula, imisebenzi yabo yokukhusela ngokwengqondo, kwaye akufanelekile ukugxeka umntwana. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba awukwazi ukuhambelana nale meko yemicimbi, uya kumemeza uze uphukise umntwana, uze uhambe ngokukhawuleza.
Ukongezelela kwezi ngxaki ezimbini kubantwana, kukho nabanye abachaphazela ubudlelwane kunye nooyise abangabodwa. Yingakho, ngaphambi kokuba uqale into ebalulekileyo nale ndoda, kufuneka uzinyathele ngokuzenzekelayo. Kuphela xa kwenzeka ukuba uyaqonda ukuba ulungele ukunikela ngemigangatho yengane yakhe kunokuba unako kwaye ungayi kubuya, ungaqalisa ubudlelwane nomntu onjalo. Enyanisweni, ukuba unomthandi umntwana wakhe, faka umphefumlo wakhe kuwo kwaye ucinge ukuba ngowakho, ngoko unokuba yintsapho yokonwaba ngokwenene, kwaye zonke iingxaki ezivela kuqala, uze ukhumbule ngokumomotheka.