Iinyanga ezi-6-12: intlanganiso yokuqala kunye nabasemagunyeni
Bonke abazali bajamelana nemini yonke imfuneko yokuthi "hayi" kumncinci omncinci obakhangela amehlo enomdla kwaye uqala ukukhala ngokukhawuleza. Nangona kunjalo, oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka unikezele kwaye unikele kuyo yonke into. Ngokuphambene noko, ngaphambili ubeka imithetho ekhokela kunye nokukhusela umntwana, ngokukhawuleza uza kukhula. Ngeenyanga ezi-6-7, iintsana zifana nokucima iziglasi ukusuka ekhaleni likagogo kwaye zidonsa kwi-necklace yomama. Oku kuqhelekileyo, bafumana ixesha lokuphuhliswa xa umntu efuna ukuhlola ubuso obungaqhelekanga, zama ukubeka iminwe yakho emlonyeni wakho, impumlo, indlebe kunye nokudonsa ezintle kunye nezihlobiso ezintle kubo! Akufanele uvumele umntwana ukuba aziphathe ngale ndlela aze ahlekise. Kungcono ukuba uthethe ngobumnene kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uthathe isandla sakhe, emva kokuba wenze ubuso obungathandekiyo, uthi: "Hayi, le nto yinto endiyithandayo, ndiyixabisa kakhulu, ukuba uyayikrazula, uya kuyichitha, kwaye andiyikuthanda!" kwiinyanga ezingaphezulu kweenyanga ezi-6, ukuva oko kuchazwa, uyakwazi ukuqonda ukuba oku akunakwenziwa, kwaye uya kutshintsha ingqalelo kwiimidlalo kunye neengqungquthela. Ukuxhamla kwabazali kunye kunye nezenzo kuya kummisa.
Ulawulo lwesithathu "alukwazi"
Ukusukela kwiinyanga ezili-12, ukuziphatha komntwana kuqhutyelwa yi-"epistemological" impulse (eli gama elinzima kakhulu lichaza ukuba umntwana ulambile amava amatsha, ufuna ukuhlolisisa ihlabathi elikujikelezayo, ukuhamba, ukuhamba, ukuthinta yonke into). Lo mnqweno wokuzimela kunye nokufumanisa ngokuqinisekileyo ubeka umntwana ukuba abhekane nobungozi. Emva koko kufuneka umxelele umntwana kwaye usetyenzise ekukhuliseni kwakhe okokuba izazi zeengqondo zibiza ukulawulwa kwezinto ezintathu "ezingenakwenzeka": awukwazi ukuzibeka engozini, awukwazi ukubeka engozini kwabanye kwaye awukwazi kuba yindawo yokuhlala ekhaya, oko kukuthi, kufuneka uhloniphe abanye nezinto zabo. Ezi zithintelo kufuneka zichazwe kumntwana ngendlela ehlelekile ngethuba xa eqala ukuthetha kunye nelizwe elijikelezayo kwaye ahambe ngokuzimeleyo. Ukuba awukwazi, ukuba, umzekelo, uyamvumela ukuba akhuphe itafile, unokuwa nokulimala. Eli thuba elibi liya kumgxotha kwisifiso sokuqala ngokutsha, kwaye iindlela zokurhweba eziya kuphazamisa inkqubela yakhe nophuhliso ziya kuqhubeka. Ukukhawuleza ngokukhawuleza ukuthobela imithetho yempilo kunye neziseko zamandla, umntwana kufuneka ukuba ngokwemvelo kwaye athembele kubantu abadala abamsondezayo. Njalo xa ekhangelwa into entsha, umntwana uphendukela kumzali kwaye ukhangele amehlo akhe okanye amagama asemthethweni ukuba ayeke okanye aqhubeke. Ukuba umzali umbiza okanye ubonakala engavumiyo, oko kuya kukwanela ukuba umntwana alawule aze abuyisele. Ukuba ubuso bakhe bubonakala, ukuba uthe: "Yiza, uya kuhamba!", Umntwana ufumana ukuzithemba aze aqhube izenzo zakhe. Umzali nomntwana baququzelele izenzo zabo. Amandla omdala ubonakaliswa ngaphandle kokusetyenziswa kobundlobongela, kwaye umntwana ufunda isiseko sendlela yokuziphatha, esona sisiseko sokuqhubela phambili ubudlelwane noluntu.
Iminyaka engama-2-3: ukulwa nomzali "cha" kunye "no" umntwana omela umntwana
Xa uneminyaka engama-2, umntwana uthandekile ukuba acinge ukuba nguyena ummandla wendalo yonke kunye neminqweno yakhe kufuneka ithathelwe ingqalelo. Isazi senzululwazi esidumileyo uJean Piaget wayengowokuqala ukunika uphawu olukhethekileyo kubantwana abaneminyaka emi-2 ukuya kwimi-7 yobudala: bavezwa yi-egocentrism. Musa ukudibanisa nokuzingca komntwana, ngumbuzo wendlela yokucinga. Kule minyaka, umntwana uthanda ukuthatha okungaphezu kokupha, kwaye kuya kuba kuhle ukuba yonke into ibe yinto yakhe. Ucinga ukuba uluvo olubaluleke kakhulu kwaye alukwazi ukuzibeka endaweni yomnye. Yilapho i-whims kunye nexhala elibi elifanelekileyo, xa enqatshelwe into ayifunayo. Eli xesha lokuzimela ngokwabo ekuphuhlisweni komntwana lihlala iminyaka emithathu nesiqingatha. Ekuqhubekeni kwesi "sigaba sokungabikho komthetho," umntwana kufuneka amelane nabantu abadala kwaye abize igama elithi "hayi" ukuba abe ngumntu ohlukeneyo kwaye aziqinisekise. "Uthi hayi ukwenza okuchaseneyo! Kule nkalo ebomini, kuyimfuneko ukuba umntwana aqonde imida yobukhosi bakhe. Kunconywa ukuba umntwana avunyelwe ukuzityhila aze ahlakulele ubuntu bakhe, kodwa ngexesha elinye umntu kufuneka akwazi ukuthi "hayi" ku "cha" lomntwana. Ukuba umntwana ufunde ngaphambili imingcele ekhuselayo, ngoku nje ufuna iimingcipheko. Akaye yedwa ehlabathini! Ukuba kunokwenzeka, kufuneka uchazele umntwana ukuba kutheni engafanele akwenze, kodwa kwezinye iimeko kufuneka ufundise imigaqo ngendlela ekhuni: "Yeka, ndakuxelela" akukho "- ke akukho!", Ukuphakamisa izwi lakhe nokwenza amehlo amakhulu. Ukuba le "ayi" ibe luncedo, unokukhetha ixesha lokuvalwa: "Usencinane kakhulu, unokukwenza xa unkulu" - kwaye ke: "Hayi, awukwazi ukuhamba wedwa, ndiya kukunceda." Umntwana uya kwamkela izithintelo kummandla wobumnene nokuzithemba. " Umntwana ukwamkela ngokuzithandela ukwenqatshelwa kwabazali kunye nosongelo xa isimo sakhe sengqondo sihlonishwa, kwaye abazali bakhe banobungane kuye.
Iminyaka eyi-3-4: ukuthintela okungokomqondiso
Imithetho ecacileyo yobomi kuluntu ibalulekile kumntwana, kodwa kunqabileyo ukuchaswa kuyimfuneko ukuba ancede aqonde amandla. Kwixesha le-Oedipus ubunzima, amantombazana amancinci afuna ukutshata noyise, kwaye abafana abancinane bafuna ukutshata nomama wabo. Uthando ngomnye wabazali lubaxosha ukuba bathathe indawo yomzali-mpikiswano, kodwa bazive benetyala elikhulu, kuba, ngokwenene, bayabathanda kakhulu bobabini abazali. Kubalulekile ukuba umnqweno we-Oedipal ubhekane nokuthintela inzala, abazali bayichazela umntwana, ukuba abantwana abatshati kwaye bangatshatanga nabazali babo. Xa abazali bethetha "hayi" kwiminqweno yomntwana, "hayi" kwiingcamango zakhe ezingenakwenzeka, babonisa amandla abo baze bahlangabezane nomntwana ngokwenene. Emva koko umntwana uyaqonda ukuba kufuneka aqikelele neminqweno yabanye abantu. Ukuba uyamxelela "hayi", uya kumfundisa imigaqo yokuphila ecacileyo eya kumnceda ukuba enze ukhuseleko lwangaphakathi. Uyabona ukuba ungumntu ophucukileyo kunye namalungelo kunye nemisebenzi efanayo njengabantu bonke.
Iminyaka emi-5-6: imithetho yansuku zonke
Amandla abadala abonakalisa ukugcinwa kwemihla ngemihla eququzelela umntwana. Ngentsasa sisukuma, sambatha kwaye sidle isidlo sakusasa. Ukunyuselwa kwi-4.30. Ukuba umntwana akafuni ukuyidla, makangadli. Musa ukumnika ieskese okanye ukumvumela ukuba adle i-snack ngo-6 ntambama. Ngokuhlwa kufike ixesha lokuhamba kwaye ulale embhedeni wakho. Ukuba ufundisa umntwana ezi zicwangciso, ezixhaswa yimithetho echanekileyo, umntwana unako ukuhamba ngokukhawuleza kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo uye kwi-independence. Kuyamangalisa ukuba umntwana othobelekileyo uzimeleyo ngakumbi kunomntwana ongekho. Ukuba uqhubeka malunga nayo yonke iminqweno yomntwana, uziva exhalabile. Kwaye ukubonakaliswa kwamandla kunokunciphisa. Musa nje ukwakha umzali omzekelo, xa umntwana ezalwa nje. Amandla azibonakalisa kwaye akhula ngokuthe ngcembe, ngokubambisana komntwana nomzali. Izibambiso zifakwe kancinci. Awukwazi ukufuna into yonke kumntwana kwangoko. Ukuba ngumzali akusiyo isandla sesinyithi, akufanele uzame "ukugoba" umntwana, kodwa umncede abe ngumntu olungileyo.