Indlela yokukhulisa abazali abahle?

"Sonke sivela ebuntwaneni," wabhala i-Exupery edumile. Kunzima ukuphikisana naye, kuba isimilo sethu, njengabaphathi beengqondo, senziwa ebuntwaneni, kwaye utshintsho oluncinane ubomi bonke. Abantwana, njengembewu ephonswe emhlabathini, kunye nendlela oya kubaphatha ngayo, kuxhomekeke kwiziphi iziphumo abaza kuzizisa. Kuye kwabonakaliswa ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba abantwana abavela kwiintsapho ezipheleleyo, ezivuyayo baphila ubomi obupheleleyo emva koko baba ngabazali abalungileyo ngokwabo. Ngokuchasene, ubunzima buntwana buyekezela umkhondo emphefumlweni wabantu, owamthintela ekukhuliseni kakuhle abantwana babo.


Fundisa abantwana babazali abafuna ukususela ebuntwaneni

Ukuba ufuna abantwana bakho, emva kokukhula, bakwazi ukufumana ulonwabo lwentsapho baze babe ngabazali abalungileyo, kuya kufuneka usebenze nzima. Indlela yodwa indlela onokufundisa ngayo umzali wesikhathi esizayo ukuba ube ngokwakho. Abantwana, njengombonakaliso wesibuko, zama ukusikopisha, kodwa kunye nemimiselo emihle yokuziphatha, bayakwazi ukukhumbula ngokuthe ngqo abo esizibonile. Ngoko ukuba unquma ukubeka kumntwana wakho iimpawu ezibalaseleyo zobuntu, ngoko uya kunyanzelwa ukuba uqale ukuphuhlisa ezi mpawu ukuqala. Ngoko, zeziphi iimpawu eziza kunceda abantwana kwikamva ukufundisa abantwana babo ngokuchanekileyo.

Okokuqala, ngumonde. Abazali abanomdla, abavakalayo abazange baveze kakuhle abantwana. Ukuxhalaba kwakho, makumkele umntwana ukuba iimvakalelo zigcinwe phantsi kolawulo. Musa ukuchitha ixesha lakho kunye namandla ekuthukutheleni, akukho nto incede, ngokuba umntu omncinci onamehlo abukhulu uya kubamba le nyaniso yansuku zonke, kwaye ngekamva, qiniseka ukuba ufunde ukunyamezela.

Kunzima ukucinga ngabazali abalungileyo abangenakuyithandana nomntwana wabo kwaye abazange banqikaze ukuvakalisa iimvakalelo zabo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukufundisa umntwana ukunyaniseka kwintando, xa abazali bengayifuni nantoni na ukuba bayinyamekele, abakulindele ukubulela kubantwana. Xa uthando alubandakanyeki kwiimvakalelo zobunikazi, aluyikunyanzelisa, aluyikuthintela inkululeko, aluyikumncinci umntwana, kodwa luvuyisa kunye nenqabiseko yokhuseleko, apho ejikeleza khona kunye nabantwana bakhe.

Makuvakala ngathi kuncinci, kodwa ukuhlaziywa okunempilo kufunekile ukuvelisa abantwana. Kuya kunceda ekuxoxaneni namaqabane, uya kubafundisa lula ukunyamezela iingxaki. Ikhono lokudlala ngobuqhetseba ngokwakho akuyi kukuvumela ukuba ulahlekelwe ngumonde kwiimeko ezinzima kakhulu, kwaye umntwana uya kuba nomdla nawe.

Musa ukuwela phantsi kwesithende sabantwana

Musa ukuthobela ingqondo yengane. Sekuncinci kubantwana abancinci babonisa imimangaliso yokuqonda kwaye babone abazali ngokufanelekileyo, ngakumbi babo ubuthathaka. Enye yezona ndlela ezingenangqondo zokubachaphazela abazali, ngoko bahamba ngokungekho nto kubo emanzini - kubengabantwana. Qaphela, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana abakwaziyo ukunqanda imvakalelo yabo, kwaye ke bafuna uncedo kunye nenkxaso yakho, kodwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunoko, i-hysteria yindlela engafanelekanga yokufumana oko ufuna. Isimo esiqhelekileyo ngumntwana xa ewela phantsi, ekhwaza, ehlutha ngeenyawo kwaye aqhutywe kwiinyembezi ezibuhlungu, kwaye konke oku kungenxa yokuba umama okanye ubaba bathenge i-toy eyithandayo okanye iiskese kwivenkile, okanye bavuma ukukhwela kwakhona kwihashe elihle. Ewe, ukunyaniseka okunjalo-ukusebenza okwenene nemiphumo ekhethekileyo, umbukeli oyintloko kule ntsebenzo ngabazali. Musa ukuya kwimeko yokulahleka, kwaye ube nomonde kwaye uzame ukungayinaki ukuziphatha okunjalo. Into ephambili ayikuthi ilahle, kwaye xa umntwana efunda ukuba ukuziphatha okunjalo akuyi kuqinisekisa isiqhamo kuye kwaye ibhere elimnandi liza kuhlala lilele esitolo, uyayeka ukuhlambalaza wena kunye nawe.

Ngokuphathelele umntwana osemva, abazange bawele phantsi, kodwa bayakhala ngokunyamekela abazali babo. Ukuba umntwana akafumani imfudumalo kunye neengqalelo, ke le ntlupheko kubudlelwane bakho kufuneka isuswe, ukutshabalalisa okutsha, xa umntwana enqaba ukunyamekela intshontsho okanye ukukhupha imfucuza, kuyimfuneko ukumisa ngokukhawuleza. Xa ubona ukuba ulungele ukuhlamba iintaba zakho ngokwakho, ukuba nje ungaliphulaphuli isijwili okanye ukuthukuthela kwentombazana, uya kuyisebenzisa ngoku rhoqo.

Abazali baxhomekeke kuqeqesho

Uthando lwabo bonke abazali ngezinye izihlandlo luyimpumputhe amehlo abo, kwaye abasakwazi ukubona ukuba intombi yabo ayisekho intsana engenakunceda, ukuba ikhulile ize ibe ngumntu opheleleyo. Xa umnqweno womzali ukukhusela kunye nokugcina intloni yazo zonke izibambiso zomntwana enomdla wokuzikhethela inkululeko kunye nokuzibonakalisa ngokwakhe, uqala ukusebenzisa iindlela eziphambili zokuchaphazela abazali. Le nto isele ijwayele, xa ukuziphatha komntwana osemncinci kumemeza kubazali ukwenzela ukuba bayeke ukungawunaki umbono wakhe. Abantwana baye basebenza ezininzi iindlela zokuphatha ngokuphumelelayo abazali baze bafumane oko bafuna. Ngamanye amaxesha bayadlala ngokugqithiseleyo ngokukrokra, ukuphonsa ingxube, ukulimaza ezintweni, kwaye kungekhona okwabo. Xa oku kwenzeka kwindawo kawonkewonke phambi kwabantu abangaqhelekanga, abazali bekulungele ukungaphumeleli ngokungahlaziyiyo emhlabathini, ukuba kuphela umntwana oyeke ukuhlambalaza, ngoko ke, ngokukhawuleza, baya kumnika umntwana oyifunayo.

Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana badlala ukungqubuzana phakathi kwabazali. Kwaye xa umama enqabela umntwana into ethile, u-tutzhe uqala ukuphikisana kwaye ubeke iingxabano: "Ubawo usombulule!", Okokukhokelela ekudidekeni aze abuyele. Kodwa ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana basoloko beqhuba abazali, bevakalisa ukuvakalelwa. Bambalwa abantu abahanjiswe bubuso bomntwana obuhlungu ngenxa yezinyembezi emehlweni abo, kuba intliziyo yomzali iyancibilika. Ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bazenza njengento enokulimaza, ukuba bazisola kuphela. Kukho indawo ebaluleke kakhulu yabazali xa kukho ugula lokwenene, ukuba uqale ugqirha ugqirha okanye uqale unyango, kwaye ungamceli umntwana ogulayo ngezinto ezintle, ngokukhawuleza xa ekhononda nge-malaise encinane, imeko ayiyi kuvela.

Ukuthetha Ngemiyoyo

Ukumemeza akuzange kube sisisombululo esiphumeleleyo kwiingxaki. Kwaye ukuba ufuna ukuba aziphatha njengomntu ofundiswe kuzo zonke iindawo, koko kukho enye indlela yokufikelela kwiziphumo, kwaye le ngxoxo enyanisekileyo. Ukuba umntwana uyakhala, akunakwenzeka ukuba uya kuqinisekiswa ukukhala kwakhe, ngokuchaseneyo, imeko iya kuba yimbi ngakumbi kwaye uya kukwazi ukulibala ngesisombululo kwingxaki. Ewe, ukunyaniseka kubalulekile, kwaye ukugweba umntwana ukuziphatha kakubi, kuba uyayiqonda into enokuyenza, kwaye yintoni engekho. Kodwa ukukhawulelana nomsebenzi wemfundo ukuhlawulwa kuphela kuya kuba yimpazamo. Ngethuba xa umntwana engumnumzane, akunakwenzeka ukuba athathe iimbambano zakho ezikholisayo, kodwa isiphepho siya kudlula, ungazama ukuthetha naye ngokuziphatha kwakhe, uchaze indlela ozive ngayo ngaloo mzuzwana, indlela ehlazo kwaye ayibi ngayo into yakhe.

Ngokukodwa abatsha banomdla kwiingxoxo kunye nabazali. Ukuzama ukubonakala njengabantu abadala kwaye bangazimeli, bakufumanisa kunzima ukuvuma ubuthathaka babo nokuzifihla, baqala ukuziphatha ngendlela engafanelekanga, ukuyibeka ngokuthobeka. Kubalulekile ukuba abazali bangazitshitshisi ngokunyeliswa kwintombazana enetyala, kwaye bathetha ngomoya ozolileyo. I-Nravonucheniya kunye neenkcukacha ezinde aziyi kusebenza, umntwana usemva kuphela ovulekileyo kwingxoxo ngokulinganayo. Sitshele indlela ojamelene ngayo neengxaki ubudala bakhe, cebisa ukuba wenze ntoni, kodwa ungamgxeka.