Phakathi komntwana kunye nomntwana ophangiweyo kukho umda omkhulu ongenakuqwalaselwa xa uxoxa ngokukhulisana. Ukumisa umntwana, ekukhokelwa nguye ngezinye izihlandlo, ukumthabatha zonke izandla zakhe, ukuzithanda iimfuno zakhe nokumcela izinto ezibalulekileyo, amathoyizi - kulula kakhulu. Into engenakutshoyo malunga nomsebenzi wokukhupha umntwana ngumntwana obanikela ngononophelo, uthando, ukunakekelwa nokuthanda.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, abadansi banikwa izipho, kodwa kungekhona ngenxa yezimfuno zabo neemvakalelo zabo, kodwa ngaphandle kwesizathu, kwaye banokwenza izinto ezininzi, kodwa kwakhona, abafani nabazali bafuna ukukhulula uhlobo oluthile lokutyala okanye bavuselele. Umntwana ophangiweyo ucinga ukuba yonke into evunyelwe kuye kwaye uziphatha njengenkosi kunye noThixo kwindawo yakhe yokuhlala, kwaye konke kuba abazali bakhe baqalisa ukuzalisekisa zonke iifom kunye neminqweno. Ngokuqhelekileyo abantwana abanjalo bahlala behlela amakhonsathi abantu ngohlobo lwesantya, ngokomzekelo, kwiivenkile, xa befuna ukuba bathenge i-toy okanye ithokoleta abayithandayo, kwaye ingxaki yabo kukuba abafuni ukuyiqonda nokuvalelwa.
Misela isigqibo sokutshatyalaliswa kosana
Phantse onke amaxesha, oku kwenzekayo kungabonakali, phantse kwiiveki zokuqala zobomi bentsana. Amama kunye nabazali ngenxa yothando olugqithiseleyo lomntwana bazama ukwenza ubomi beemvuthu zilungele kangangoko kunokwenzeka, zikhulule ngakumbi, ngoko ziqala ukuzalisekisa yonke iminqweno. Ukuba umntwana akenzanga, mfumene isizathu. Umzekelo, ukuba abazali bahamba nomntwana ukuba badlale esitrato baze batshale umntu kwi-sandbox, ngoko umama kunye nabazali baqala ukumbhikisha esidlangalaleni kuphela, kodwa ngexesha elifanayo bayaqiniseka ukuba umntwana wabo ulungile kwaye ukhula ngokuzimisela nangokuzimeleyo, ukongeza uyakwazi ukuzikhusela.
Ngokuqhelekileyo abazali baxhamle emsebenzini wabo kangangokuba abanaso ixesha lokuthetha nabantwana, ngoko baqala ukuwagcwalisa ngamathoyizi, kunokuba bathathe usuku kwaye bachithe imini kwiindawo ezikhangayo, epakini yamanzi okanye bachitha ixesha kunye nomntwana emva kokuchitha usuku lonke naye ekhaya . Kanye kunye nosana lukhula, amaxabiso amathoyizi akhula, kodwa akawaxabisi kwakhona, kuba uninzi olu lungileyo. Usana lukhula luzingca, luyakuthanda kuphela ukuthanda kwakhe, iimfuno kunye naye.
Ukuba ngokukhawuleza abazali abazithengi izinto eziyalelwe umntwana, ngoko akazami ukuqonda izizathu, kuba wayehlala efumana into ayifunayo, kutheni ngoku ayenqatshelwe? Akayi kuqonda ukuba kukho iingxaki kwiintsapho ngemali, ufuna nje konke.
Ukuze uhlale unxibelelana nomntwana ukuze ungamtholi?
Unina omama abaninzi bacinga ukuba umntwana uya kuba nolumntwana olungenakulibaleka, ukuba unempahla enhle, ukutya okuhlwayileyo kunye neetayiti ezibiza. Nangona kunjalo, abacingi ukuba kubalulekile kubazali ngokwabo, kwaye kungekhona kumntwana. Umlumbi omnye umntwana akacingi malunga neendleko zakhe okanye iimpahla zakhe. Bafuna ukunakekelwa kunye nokuqwalaselwa. Umntwana wakhe kufuneka afundiswe ukuhlonela iminqweno yabantu bonke, ngaphezu koko, kufuneka aqonde ukuba unako kwaye akadingeki, kufuneka asebenze ngokukhawuleza ukukhutshwa kunye nokuchasa. Akudingeki ukuba uthenge kumntwana, uphupha umkhankaso ohlangeneyo kunye nawe epakini, uhambo ukuya epikiniki ngaphandle kwedolophu okanye uhambo ukuya kwisekisi. Amakhwenkwe kufuneka aqonde ukuba awukwazi ukulwa, kufuneka ukwazi ukumelana nezenzo zakho. Ngaphandle koko, uya kuba ngabantwana bakho kuphela umthombo wemali, kwaye ungathandwa ngabazali abanakekelayo.
Indlela yokuvuselela umntwana owonakele?
Iingcali zengqondo zixela ukuba izigwebo ezingqongqo zilimaza ingqondo yengqondo yomntwana. Ngale nto unokwazi, kodwa ungagqibi ukugqithisa. Ukuba uzalisekisa yonke iminqweno yomntwana onobungozi, uyamvumela ukuba angabonwa njengengxelo yabanye abantu. Ingane ifuna ukuqonda oko ikhona, kodwa kukho abanye abantu. Uhlala efuna ukuva kuwe amazwi athi "awukwazi" kwaye "uyakwazi", ngoko uchaza ubungakanani bezinto ezivunyelwe. Umsebenzi wakho ukufundisa umntwana ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe, ukuziphatha, iiminqweno kunye nokuphendula ngokuchanekileyo nayiphi na imeko.
Umntwana kufuneka anqatshelwe kwaye ungesabi, vele uchaze isizathu ngasinye sokwenqaba kwakho. Tshela umntwana wakho ukuba uyamthanda, kodwa khumbula oku okanye loo meko, xa ekucaphukisa, ngoko awuyi kuthenga le nto okanye loo nto. Umntwana kufuneka aziva uthando lwakho kunoma yiphi imeko, kodwa kufuneka ahlole indlela awafanele aziphathe ngayo ukuze abe yinkwenkwana okanye intombazana.
Khumbula ukuba kufuneka ugcine amaqhinga akho. Ukuba namhlanje unqabile umntwana, kwaye ngomso uthenge oko akucelayo, kwaye umntwana uya kuqonda ukuba ngoncedo lwabahlaziyi onokucatshulwa kuwe. Musa ukuyeka, nangayiphi na into enengqiqo, ungamniki.
Mhlawumbi, unemeko xa umntwana esitolo ewela phantsi aze afune ukuthenga into ethile? Ewe, uhlazeka kwaye unentloni, ngoko ukhawuleze uthenge oko ufuna kwaye ushiye ivenkile. Kancinci, umntwana uyaqonda ukuba oku kusebenza kuwe kwaye uqala ukuzenza ekhaya nakwezinye iindawo. Ngeli xesha, kufuneka uchaze kumntwana ukuba uya kuqala ukuthetha naye xa ephakama esuka phantsi aze eze kuye. Ukuba ubona ukuba awukhathaleli i-antics yakhe, ngoko uya kuqonda ngokukhawuleza ukuba oku akusebenzi kuwe ngomzuzwana wokuzola.
Umntwana ophangiweyo uya kukhula njani?
Xa efumana esemdala, uya kuyika, iododo enkulu. Ngenxa yokuba wayesebenzisa yonke into eqhoshayo, akazi ukuba yintoni umsebenzi kunye nokufumana imali. Akanayo abahlobo, kuba uyaqiniseka ukuba nguye ongcono. Abantu abanako ukuphawula ukuba nguye kanye-kwaye, kwaye oku kubiza ukuzithemba kwakhe kwaye ngaphezu koko, kuya kubangela ukufudumala. Qonda ukuba uthandaza kuye, awuyi kuhlaselwa ngabanye, ngenxa yoko kuya kuba nzima kuye ukuthetha nabanye abantu, ukufunda nokusebenza. Emva kwakho konke, uya kufundisa kuphela indlela yokuyithatha, kodwa ngokubuyisela awuyi kunika.
Uthando lwabazali luyimpumputhe kwaye luyingozi yintsana. Xa umntwana eshiya indlu yaseIsotcov, unokukwazi ukulawula ngokupheleleyo. Yaye xa enentsapho, akayi kukwazi ukufeza imisebenzi yakhe, kuba ibaluleke kakhulu kwiminqweno engenzile kunye neminqweno. Kwintsapho enjalo akuyi kubakho uvuyo nokuvisisana. Ngoko ke, umele ufundise umntwana ukuba ahloniphe abanye, akwazi ukubathanda nokunika uthando kwabanye, ukuwucima ngokumodareyitha kwaye uqondise uthando lwakho ngendlela efanelekileyo.