Sula imigaqo yezohlwayo kunye neebhonasi
Okokuqala, ukwenzela ukuba umntwana ayeke ukungafanelekanga ngenxa yeso sizathu, kubalulekile ukuba abe neshedyuli ecacileyo yosuku. Amama amaninzi ahlala ezisola ngabantwana babo, avumele ukuba badle, xa befuna noko bafuna, besiya kulala, besuka ekuseni baya kuzisola baze bangathathi i-squatter . Oku kungalunganga ngokukodwa. Umntwana kufuneka azi ukuba nini kunye nento ayenzayo. Xa uneminyaka emine ukuya kwemihlanu ubudala, abantwana, ngokuqinisekileyo, abanalo uxanduva olunzulu. Kodwa ubuncinci, ubuncinane bezinto eziphambili kufuneka enze ngaphandle kweengqungquthela: zikhona iimveliso ezixhamlayo (kwaye kungekhona ezo zifana), zilala ngexesha elithile, ziqokelele amathoyizi abo. Ukuba umntwana unqabile ukwenza oku, musa ukunyamekela ukukhala kwakhe kunye neinyembezi. Ngokuphambene noko, ukuba uyakhala, kukulungele ukungayinaki i-hysterics. Inyani kukuba ngaba bantwana baziphatha ngokukhawulela abazali babo. Ukuba abahlaziyi bawela bonke ubuso, unomngcipheko umntwana kwaye uchaze ukuba kufuneka adale, mhlawumbi uya kufumana into. Ngendlela, ngokukhawuleza kubalulekile ukukhumbula isiphene esinye esibaluleke kakhulu sabamama kunye nogogo. Ngokuqhelekileyo bathi: "Qoqa ii-toys uze ufumane ibhotile ye-chocolate" njalo njalo. Kodwa inkwenkwe iqala ukuqonda ukuba zonke izicelo ezenzileyo, kufuneka zifumane umvuzo. Ukucinga okunjalo akusayi kubakhokelela ekuhle. Vitoga, abantwana baqala ukwenza umsebenzi wesikolo ngenjongo entsha kunye nokuya esikolweni ngenxa yokuba unina ubahlawulela imali. Ukuba awufuni ukuba ukuziphatha kwakho kubangele imeko elolo hlobo, funda indlela yokukhuthaza ukuziphatha komntwana wakho ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ukuba akaphendulanga kwisicelo sakho, kwaye nangakumbi uqala ukunyanzela, xelela umntwana wakho ukuba nangona engenzi oko utshoyo, uya kuhlala, umzekelo, ngaphandle kweethathu. Ngethuba lokuqala, abantwana abasetyenziselwa ukuba abazali bafezekisa zonke iimfuno zabo bahlala phendule. Ngoko ke, kufuneka ubonise ukuzola kunye nokubanda okanye ukuthatha umntwana kwinto ayenayo. Kwaye akufuneki ukumemeza kuye, ufunge kwaye ubethe. Mva nje ucime ithelevishini kwaye uthi akayi kufumana into ayifunayo ade enze oko ufuna. Ukuba i-hysteria iqala, qhubeka uziphatha ngokuzinzileyo kwaye ungakhathaleli. Kwimeko apho inkwenkwe kwaye inzima kwaye yenza okubi, mxelele ukuba ngalunye ukukhwaza kwakhe isijeziso sanda kwaye sihlala singenazo iikhathuni enye enye, ibe ezimbini. Xa uneminyaka emine, abantwana sele bekhumbule ngokugqibeleleyo yonke into kwaye baqala ukufunda ukukopela. Ngoko ke, umhla olandelayo, ngokuqinisekileyo uya ku-kvm ngokumomotheka okumnandi kunye namabali malunga nendlela amthanda ngayo umama aze abuze ukuba afake iitoto. Kulo mzekelo, akufanele uphelelwe ingqalelo kwaye musa "ukunyibilika." Mkhumbuze ukuba wayeziphatha kakubi kwaye wahlwaywa ngaphambi kwexesha elithile. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntwana uya kuqala ukukhala aze acele, aze athukuthele. Injongo yakho ayiyi kuphula. Kwaye malunga nomsindo, nangesihawu. Kufuneka uxelele ngokuzithele ukuba ukuba akayi kuhlalisa le ngcaciso imfutshane, itoni iya kwanda ngolunye usuku. Kwamanye abantwana lo msebenzi usebenza ngokukhawuleza, umntu onenkani, kodwa ekugqibeleni umntwana uyakhumbula kakuhle umgaqo osisiseko: landela imiyalelo kamama wakho kwaye awuyi kuhlwaywa.
Khumbula ukuba ukuba umntwana akazange akhankanywe kwaye akazange athukuthele, akufanele ukuba atshaywe. Isijeziso somzimba yinto yokugqibela. Ngomfanekiso ofanayo, akunakwenzeka ukuba uza kutshitshisa unyana wakho okanye intombi yakho ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba uya kukukhumbula kwaye ukwenzeka ukwesaba, kwaye njengokuba uyazi, imfundo esekelwe ukwesaba ikhokelela ekubeni abantwana bakhula nje baze baqale ukudlala ngaphambi kokuba abazali bahlelwe ngamacandelo, kwaye emva , abayifunayo. Ngoko ke, zama ukunyamezela ukunyanzelisa umntwana kungekhona ngokwenyama, kodwa ngendlela eqondayo: ukuziphatha kakuhle kukuqinisekisa ukuba umama uya kuzalisekisa umnqweno wakhe. Kodwa esibi sizathu esona sizathu sokwenza konke ukungaphumeleli.
Ukuqinisekiswa koogogo
Kwiintsapho ezininzi, apho abazali abancinci behlala kunye nogogo kunye noomkhulu, ngaba bafana abanothando abathanda abantwana. Kule nto ayikho into emangalisayo, kuba bazukulu babo abathandayo abafuna ukuyiyeka. Ukongezelela, oogogo banamava amaninzi obomi, ngoko bayaqiniseka ukuba bayazi kakuhle indlela yokukhulisa abantwana. Ekugqibeleni, inkunzi iyakwazi ukuba ukuba umama nobaba banelungelo lokuvinjelwa, unokuhlala ugijimela kugogo wakho nomkhalazo. Yaye yena, kungekuphela kuphela okuza kuxazulula, uya kubacaphukisa abazali ngenxa yokuba abanentliziyo.
Ukuba unyoko okanye uninazala ukhethe loo mzekelo wokuziphatha, kuyafaneleka ukuthetha naye. Inyaniso kukuba ukugxekwa rhoqo kubazali bakhe kuyingozi kakhulu kumntwana. Uthatha isigqibo sokuba imodeli yabo yokuziphatha ayiphutha, kwaye uyeka ukumnaka umbono we-narodnik. Enyanisweni, ukuthetha nogogo akuyi kuba lula, njengoko enesiqiniseko sokufaneleka kwakhe. Ngoko musa ukuphikisana naye, fungela kwaye umemeza. Zama ukumchazela ngemimiselo, oko kukukhokelela kwi-caprice. Umzekelo, umntwana akafuni ukuya kulala. Umama wayenqabile ukubukela iipatto, kwaye unogogo onobubele, owabaleka kuyo i-sazoo, waqala ukukhala, wasombulula. Kodwa ke ngoko kwenzeka imeko efanayo, apho ugogo eqala ukufungela aze ajezise umntwana. Ngeli xesha, mkhumbuze ukuba umphumo wale mphumela ukuziphatha kwakhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akufanele ulindele ukuba ugogo uya kufumana oko kanye. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ngaba njalo, kodwa kungekhona ngamabomu kwaye kungekho ngcikivo yokubonisa iimpazamo kuye, ekugqibeleni uya kuqonda kwaye ubuncinane ukuyeka ukuphazamisa umntwana.
Yithi "hayi" kwisizathu sokuba "sincinci"
Kwaye impazamo yokugqibela yemfundo yothando lwabazali ukubhala yonke into "eyincinci." Enyanisweni, umntwana ngumntwana. Ngoko ke, akukho mntu uyamxhobisa ukuba adibanise iingxowa kwiminyaka emihlanu kwaye asebenze wonke umsebenzi ojikeleze indlu. Kodwa ukuba lincinci, akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uyenzele yona. Ingane kufuneka isoloko yenza izinto ezisisiseko ezihambelana nobudala bakhe. Ngokukodwa ukuba uyazi ukuba uyakwazi ukuzenza yedwa, uhlala evila. Ngokomzekelo, kwiminyaka emine umntwana kufuneka ahlale ethatha izitya kwindawo yokucwina, ahlambe aze ahlambe amazinyo, agqoke, ahlambulule amathoyizi abo. Ukuba akayi kwenza into ethile, ungayibhali phantsi kwiminyaka. Ingane yakho ivila kwaye ilindele ukuba wenze konke. Yaye xa iphela ngexesha, iya kuqhubeka. Emva koko abazali bazisombulula iingxaki baze babhale iingoma, upende imifanekiso uze ukhwebe, kwaye abantwana bahlala phantsi ngezandla kwaye baphinda bathi: "Andikwazi, yenzani yona." Ngoko ukuba awufuni ukukhula uvila kwaye ungokoqobo, funda ufunde ngakumbi kwaye ulungele ukuvavanya amathuba omntwana wakho. Emva koko umntwana wakho uya kukhula ukuze abe ngumntu onobuqili, onoxanduva kwaye onamandla.