Umsebenzi oyintloko kuwo onke amaziko omama nomntwana kukulungiswa kwabazali ngokuzalwa nokukhuliswa komntwana, kwakunye nokusekwa koqhagamshelwano, qhagamshelana nomntwana ozayo. Kodwa isimo sengqondo esinjalo kwisitatimbuzo sombuzo kubo bonke abazali abazayo asinakuqonda. Abanye bacinga ukuba kungenangqondo ukuthetha nesidalwa esincinane esingaqondanga nto nantoni na, nangona abanye, ngokuchaseneyo, bathetha ngokungathandabuzeki kunye nosana, baxabise isisu baze bathethe nabo. Kwaye abanye banokuqiniseka ukuba baxoxisana nosana lwabo ngaphambi kokukhulelwa kwakhe.
Ndicebisa ukuqonda indlela abalungile ngayo abaphikisanayo ukuba unokukwazi ukunxibelelana, indlela yokuthetha ngokuchanekileyo kunye nendlela oku kuza kuchaphazela ngayo umntwana kunye nolwalamano lwakhe nawe.
Umbuzo oyintloko - obani ukuthetha naye? Ukuze senze oku, makhe sibone oko iingcali zithi zenze uphando kumazwe ahlukeneyo malunga nendlela umntwana ekhula ngayo kwi-utero. Kwaye inyaniso eqinisekisiweyo yesayensi yokuba impembelelo yengqondo yabhalwa kumntwana ongekho ngaphezu kweeveki ezi-6 ubudala. Kwiintsuku ezili-11 ubudala umntwana sele sele esabela kwi-stimuli yangaphandle-ukukhanya, isandi, intlungu, ukuthintela. Yaye ukuba uyabaphendula, uyaziva. Sekudlulileyo, ukuqala kwinyanga yesi-5 yokukhulelwa, umntwana sele usele umlingisi. Ngokomzekelo, abantwana basabela ngokungafaniyo nesistim somsebenzi sangaphandle. Ukuba, umzekelo, umntwana ozolile kwaye ozolileyo uyamoyika isandi, ngoko umntwana "onomlingiswa" unokuthukuthela. Unokubona ngokucacileyo ukubona ubuso bomntwana. Ubonisa yonke imvakalelo - ukukhala, ukumemeza, uvuyo, ukunganeliseki. Umntwana unendlebe enhle, ngokufanelekileyo uyayikhumbula umculo kunye nemibandela, kwaye aze akhulise isimo sakhe sengqondo. Unento yakhe ebalulekileyo kunye nomsa. Kwaye kunye neemvumi zabo ezizithandayo. Kuboniswa ukuba abantwana bakhetha umculo omdala-ozolileyo, oomculo. Sekuqale ukuqala kwinyanga yesithupha, umntwana uqala ukuhamba ngokunyanisekileyo kwisisu, uvelisa i-vestibular device. Kubonakala ukhetho lwazo, kuba ngeli xesha liye laveliswa ngqalelo.
Ngaba kuyimfuneko ngokwenene ukuba kukho ubungqina bokuba kukho ngokwenene umntu onomzimba okwazi ukuziva, ukuqonda, amava, uthando. Kodwa le ncinane ingakwazi ukuqonda kuphela ukuba bayathetha naye, ufikelele ekunxibelelaneni. Emva koko, akuqhelekanga ukuba umntwana anqande unina ukuba angalali ngokubhokoxa kuze kube yilapho uyise ebeka isandla sakhe kwisisu. Umntwana unokufuna incoko, ukuhamba, ukuhlamba nezinye izinto ezininzi. Kanti akafuni ukuthetha, uhlala esabela kumama kaMama.
Ndicinga ukuba kuyacaca ukuba kukho umntu ozakuthetha naye. Kwaye makhe sithethe ngendlela yokuthetha ngokuchanekileyo. Ewe, kwindawo yokuqala, kwaye oku, kubaluleke kakhulu, kunye nosana ofuna ukuthetha ngalo. Emva kwakho konke, ukuva kuvela phambi kweengqondo zonke, kwaye ke uya kukubona ngezwi, ukuphendula ngamazwi akho, kwaye uyamkhathalela ngaphandle. Kwaye kufuneka uxoxe naye, njengomntu omdala kunye nohlakaniphile. Le ndlela ephawulekayo yathinta ubuhlobo emva kokuzalwa kwakhe. Emva kokuzalwa, abantwana abaye baxoxisana nabo ngaphambi kokuzalwa, beva amazwi aqhelekileyo, bathula, baphulaphule ngenyameko, kwaye intetho yakhula ngokukhawuleza kunabantwana abazali babo abazange babone ukuba kuyimfuneko ukuthetha. Kulula kakhulu-ukuxelela ummangaliso wakho omncinane ukuba uyamthanda kwaye ulinde kakhulu. Kwaye kubaluleke ngani ukuba awuzange uyibone, ngokwenene uthando lomama?
Kodwa, ngaphezu kwelokuba unako ukuthetha nomntwana wakho, usenokumculela. Emva koko, ekuhlabeleleni, umfazi uhambisa iimvakalelo ezinzulu kwaye, kunye kunye nosana, ubafumana. Ngaloo ndlela, unxulumene ngokupheleleyo nomntwana wakho. Unokucula kunye, mamela umculo. Kwaye inyana iya kukuxelela ngokukhetha kwayo, kufuneka nje ukumamela, kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba yintoni umculo ayithandayo kwaye awunayo. Unako ukudansa nawe.
Kwakukho imeko xa omnye umculi ememori edlala umculo, umculo owawungayazi kwaye awuzange ulive. Njengoko kwakusemva kamva, unina naye wayengumculi, kwaye ngexesha lokukhulelwa wayecula le mculo, ngokwemvelo, kakhulu ngokomzwelo. Kwaye umntwana wakhumbula le ngoma ebomini bakhe bonke, kwabonakala ngathi kungaphakathi kuye.
Kodwa ukuba umntwana uyayiphendula yonke into ngaphakathi, akunakuthiwa oku kuthiwa yi-pre-birth education? Emva kwakho konke, kucacile ukuba umntwana uthatha intle, indlela yokuthetha, ngaphambili kunokuba ubisi lomama.
Emva koko, siyazi kakuhle ukuba umntwana ukhula kakuhle xa umama esebenza. Kwaye ude wenza uqeqesho okanye uhamba, uxoxisana nomntwana ozayo. Emva koko, uya kuphendula kubo, into enokuyithanda, kodwa into engekho.
Kwaye kufuneka siqale nini ukuthetha? Emva kokuba ufunde ngokukhulelwa. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba akukaqinisekiswa, kwaye sele uvakalelwa kukuba ubomi obutsha buqala ngaphakathi kwakho, uzive ngentliziyo yakho intliziyo encinane. Xa uthetha kunye, jonga uluntu, izinto ezintle, iintliziyo zakho ziqhagamshelane, kwaye ngaloo mzuzu kukho udibaniso olubizwa ngokuba yigazi, apho uya kuqonda khona umntwana wakho ngaphandle kwamazwi.
Sayiqonda zonke iintlobo zonxibelelwano kumntu omncinci, kodwa ngaba unxibelelwano olunjani ngabazali? Emva koko, ukukhulelwa kuthatha iinyanga ezilisithoba. Eli lixesha xa ufundela ukuba ungeyedwa, funda ukuva, uqonde umntwana wakho, ekugqibeleni, ukuthanda. Awusayi kumbona, kwaye awukwazi ukucinga ukuba uluhlobo luni lweenyawo okanye iinwele eziza kuba nazo, kodwa sele sele ufunde ukuqonda nokumthanda. Safunda ukuba nesineke kwaye sivuleleke kuyo yonke into entsha. Wafunda ukuba ngabazali bokwenene kumntu omncinci.