Kunokwenzeka ukuba ufunde indlela yokuqhuba kakuhle intetho kwintlalo ephucukileyo, kufuneka ufunde kuphela indlela yokuphuhlisa izakhono ezithile zokunxibelelana nabantu. Akunjalo wonke umntu unokukhokela ingxoxo ekhululekile kunye nengqiqo. Kubugcisa bentetho, kufuneka usebenzise ezininzi, kodwa ungabi ncokola kakhulu, kufuneka ube nolwazi oluqhelekileyo kwisihloko esipheleleyo sencoko, kufuneka kwakhona ulungelelanise nomnxibelelwano kwaye emva koqeqesho olude ungaba mnandi kwaye unomdla wokuxoxa.
Okokuqala, kwingxoxo kufuneka uzame ukungasebenzisi "I", "i-tone yendlela yokuziphatha ifuna ukuphepha, kwingxoxo kunye nomnxibelelwano, ezo zinto zingamthandiyo okanye ezo ziza kubangela ukunyaniseka.
Ukugcina ingxoxo kufuneka ukhethe izihloko eziza kuba nomdla kumnxibelelwano wakho. Ukuqhuba intetho ngolwimi olungacaciswanga kwabanye abantu alunganga kakuhle.
Ilizwi ngalinye kufuneka lichazwe ngokucacileyo nangokuzithemba ukuze umnxibelelwano wakho angakuqonda. Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo akufanele ukhulume ngokukhawuleza, nokuba yintoni na engekho imeko ehlazo. Ukuba umdlali wesithathu uphazamisa kwingxoxo yakho, kwaye ingxoxo yakho yayiyinto ebusondelene nayo, kufuneka ulungele ngokufanelekileyo kwaye unqabile.
Akunjalo nakwixesha le ngxoxo unokubonisa ukuba unxunguphalo okanye ungathanda ukuthetha nabanye abantu. Kwakhona awukwazi ukubamba ezandleni zakho, nayiphi na into engakuphazamisa kwingxoxo okanye ubukele iwashi lonke ixesha.
Ukuba xa uxoxa nabantu abangaziwayo uyaziqinisekisa kwaye ukhululekile, ukuba ngaphandle kweengxaki ukuqala ingxoxo kunye nokukhululeka ukuthetha nakweyiphi na izifundo, kulungelekile okhethekileyo. Kufuneka ukhunjulwe ukuba kuyo nayiphi na indawo ephucukileyo kufuneka ube njengendalo, inokuzithemba nokuzola.
Inani leengxaki ezixoxwa ngazo zingaba zihluke kakhulu, kodwa kufuneka uxoxe ngezihloko onokuzithemba ngazo. Musa ukuxelela abantu ngeengxaki zakho, iingxaki, izifo okanye ukucamngca ngezulu.
Kwintetho yakho nabanye babenomdla kwaye bethandwa ingqwalaselo yabadibaniselwano, kufuneka ube neengcamango ezintle kunye nobuchule obukhulu.
Ngomntu ongazi kakuhle uyakwazi ukuthetha ngesimo sezulu, kuba le ngongoma yinto engabambisani nxamnye kwaye awudingi ukuza nesihloko kwincoko.
Ngendlebe nodliwano-ndlebe nomntu ongaziwayo, kungcono ukuba ungathethi ngezihloko zakho okanye malunga nobomi bakho. Emva kokuthetha ngemozulu, ungaqalisa ingxoxo ngesihloko somabonwakude, ezemidlalo okanye kwiphephandaba. Ekugqibeleni, unokufumana isihloko esithakazelisayo kumnxibelelwano.
Ngexesha lokumkela iindwendwe ekhaya, ngokungalindelekanga kubo bonke kukho ukuthula okungenangxaki kwaye akukho nto iyakhathazeka ngayo. Ngethuba elingenakukhuphala wonke umntu, unako ukuphatha wonke umntu ngetiyi kunye nekhekhe kwaye incoko iya kubuya kwakhona.
Ukuziphatha kwengxoxo kukubugcisa obukhulu, engabikho bonke abantu abangakhokelela. Baza kubandakanywa kwingxoxo kanyekanye, ngelixa bechaza iimbono ezixubusha ngazo ngezihloko ezihanjisiwe eziye ziba yingxoxo yokuxoxa. Ukukhusela izikhundla zabo, kubalulekile ukuba banike iinkcazo zabo ezingenakuphikwa malunga nokuba ngubani odibanisa naye angazi. Ungasebenzisi amagama anjalo ngethuba lencoko "njenge-egoist", "tugodum", "umculi", nakunoma yintoni na ukuba ungaphosisi umnxibelelwano. Kwintetho, kufuneka ugweme nayiphi na i-generalizations. Ukuba ingxoxo ayiguqukiyo okanye iqhubekile xa uvikela indawo yakho yokujonga, kwaye ungazami ukucaphukisa umnxibelelwano wakho.
Umntu ofundele kwaye ophuculweyo ngethuba akayi kubaxelela abantu abazungezile ngomsebenzi wabo, intsapho kunye nabantwana, ubomi babo, izifo, amava kunye nemikhwa. Kwakhona akayi kuthetha malunga nento ayenzayo ekuseni. Umntu oqeqeshwe kwaye ofundayo akayi kuhleka.
Ukuba uzama ukuthetha malunga nesihloko esinjalo, kufuneka uphendule ngokukhawuleza ukuba ayikukhathaleli. Ukuba uvile ukuba bahleba ngawe, musa ukuyiqwalasela. Ngokuqhelekileyo unokuxoxa ngezihloko malunga nokubonakala kwabantu abaqhelekileyo, musa ukuxhasa ezo ngxoxo, njengoko zingalunganga.
Kwiinkampani ezincinci, akudingeki ukuba uqale incoko kunye nalabo abaya kuqondwa nabo, ababi kakhulu, kwaye akufanele uxoxe ngamacebiso abantu abathile kuphela abaya kuqonda. Ukuba kukho abantu abangaphantsi kwe sixhenxe kwinkampani, kufuneka ugcine isihloko somxholo jikelele, kungekhona enye ingxoxo. Musa ukuthetha nabanye abantu ngeelwimi zangaphandle ukuba abadibanisi bakho bangathethi.
Akukuhle ukuphazamisa abadibanisa ngethuba le ngxoxo, ingakumbi xa umntu ekhulile. Musa ukuxelela ibali, ukulungisa iimpazamo ngamagama, ukuphelisa ibinzana.
Akucetyiswa ukuba wenze nayiphi na imibono kubantu abadala, kuphela abantu abaselula abakwazi ukuwufumana ngobungane kunye nepro, ngendlela.
Musa ukucela iqabane lakho malunga nezigulo zakhe, nokuba wayibona ukuba wayengeva kakuhle kungekudala okanye wayekade esesibhedlele. Ukuba umnxibelelwano unqwenela, uya kuxela ngokugula kwakhe ngokwakhe.
Musa ukubuza abantu nabaninzi abayifumanayo - kubi kakhulu. Kulungile ukuba ucele abafazi abatshatileyo okanye amantombazana ngomtshato wabo okanye kutheni abangatshatanga, bazibuze ngalokhu kwaye ngokubanzi baqale ingxoxo ngezihloko ezinjalo.
Ukuba umntu ushiya ngaphandle kwengcaciso okanye ubhekisela kwingqesho, ungaceli iinkcukacha ezicacileyo kuye. Ukuba uxelelwe isizathu sokushiya, akudingeki ukuba umxhathise kwaye ungazami ukunika iingcebiso.
Kwiinkampani ezixakekileyo bonke abantu bafanele bazukise abancinci abafazi, kodwa ukuba benze ngokuchanekileyo kwaye kungekho konke. Kubalulekile ukuthetha ngokuzithelekileyo, ngokuzithemba kwaye kungekho ngelizwi, kodwa ngokukhethekileyo ngexesha elifanayo, ngaphandle kokungena kwiingxoxo. Kwinconywa enjalo, phendula ngegama elifutshane.
Ngomdlalo ohlekisayo kunye neengqiqo kunye nokungacacanga kufanelekile ukuphendula ngokuzinzile, umzuzu wokuthulisa emva kokuba izitatimende ezinjalo zenza kakuhle, kwaye emva kwemizuzu embalwa umntu kufuneka aqale intetho kwisifundo esithile. Ukuba umntu uyaqhubeka exelela iingqiqo zakhe kunye namahlaya angakhokelela abanye abantu ukuba badideke ngokupheleleyo, ngoko omnye odibanisa naye kufuneka ammise.
Musa ukuxelela amanqaku amaninzi, ngelixa ungavumeli abantu bafike kwiintliziyo zabo. Kungcono ukuxelela ama-anecdotes malunga nesihloko, esingabonakaliyo nokuhlekisayo. Indoda ezama ukukhanyisa ingqondo yakhe kunye namahlaya angamaqhinga, kwiimeko ezininzi zivelisa imvakalelo embi kwabanye.
Kufuneka ukwazi ukuthetha kuphela, kodwa ukuphulaphula. Ungajongi umnxibelelwano ngokuthi "unqatshelwe" amehlo, apho kungabonakali khona ingqondo yakho kunye nexhala. Xa umntu ekutshela into ethile, kukubi ukuba uphazamiseke ngabanye abantu, ukujonga kude, ukuxumla kwibhegi, lonke ixesha ukujonga umlindo wakho okanye ukuphazamisa ingqalelo ekubukeni iTV. Kubalulekile ukubheka umnxibelelwano ngentshisekelo kwaye ngezikhathi ezithile ukufaka iingxelo ngokugqithiseleyo ukuba incoko enomdla kakhulu kuwe. Ukuba isihloko sencoko sele uvelile, ngoko nangoko kufanelekile ukuphawula "Ewe, ndandisivele ndiyivile kwaye ndiyazi malunga nayo", ke ungayiphuli umnxibelelwano wam. Umntu onobupolisi kunye nomntu okhulile, akakho ngethuba incoko akayi kuphazamisa ibali lomnye umntu, nokuba sele evile ngexesha elide.
Kumantombazana kunye namakhwenkwe asele aneminyaka engama-18 ubudala, kufuneka uphendukele "kuwe". Usuvele nomntu oqhelekileyo unokuqala ukuthetha "wena", kuphela emva kokuba uqinisekisa ukuba umnxibelelwano wakho unomdla kulo.
Iimpawu kunye nempawu zibaluleke kakhulu ngethuba lencoko, apho intetho yethu icaca ngakumbi kwaye iyicacisa. Impawu zakho kufuneka ziveze ngokucacileyo kwaye zihlonipheke, kodwa into ephambili akuyikuyidlulisa ngeendlela zakho.