Ngoko, uyayiphumelela njani inhlanhla evuyayo ngokwenene? Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukubonisa into ethile, ngokuqhelekileyo njengowesifazane ekuziphatheni kwayo. Khumbula ukuba ubuhle bentombazana enhle neyimpumelelo, kwisakhono sakhe, ihluke ngokucacileyo ukusuka kwamanye amantombazana. Nangona kungakhathaliseki ukuba mangaphi amantombazana edolophini anxiba i-T-shirt efanayo, ijezi okanye i-hairstyle njengawe. Into ephambili iya kuvela kwisihlwele kwaye ibe yodwa. Nazi imigaqo emihlanu eyisiseko eya kukunceda ukuba uphumelele kwaye kungekhona kuphela, kodwa into ebalulekileyo kukuba ufezekise uvelwano olubonakalayo kumntu wesilisa.
1. Yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu kwaye ikhangele intombazana? Yintoni edla ngokuyenza intliziyo yomntu ibetha ngokukhawuleza kwaye ikuphose emva kwamehlo okubonga? Ewe, oku kuvela. Kodwa apha, njengento encinci, sinokukwazi ukuvula ngokukhuselekileyo: izambatho zakho, isibalo, isifuba, isinqeni, iinqumlo, imilenze, iinwele, ukuzenza, umbala weenwele kunye nokuhamba kwakho kunye nokunyakaza. Okokuqala, kufuneka uhlale unika ngobuchule ngoku kwaye uyithumele. Nantsi ke, isiqinisekiso esiphezulu sokuphumelela kunye ne-credo yentombazana enhle. Ngoko ke, qiniseka ukuba uhlala ukhangele imbonakalo yakho, izinto ezintsha zakutsha kwizinto zefashoni, ze-styles kunye nokwenza. Khumbula, ukuze ube nolonwabo, kufuneka uhlale ubonakala ngathi "ngeenaliti."
2. Kwimeko yesibini, kufuneka ucinge nge "imeko" yakho kuluntu. Uya kubuza, lithetha ukuthini oku oku? Impendulo yethu iyilula: banokuba nabahlobo abaninzi ngangokunokwenzeka, bonise ukuba uphathwa kakuhle ngabo bonke abantu abasondelene nawe (oogxa, ootitshala kunye nabo kunye nabahlobo kunye nabo). Ukwenza oku, kufuneka ube ngumgcini nomphefumlo kwanoma yiphina inkampani. Ukongezelela, unokuphumelela kwimisebenzi ethile (imidlalo, ukudansa, ukucula, ukudlala igitare njalonjalo). "Khuphukela kwisiqonga sozuko" nakweyiphi na into oyithandayo. Ngendlela, khumbula ukuba ungadlala "isimo" sakho kuluntu njengoko uthanda, into ephambili kukuba yonke into imele ibe kwimida kunye nemida yokuvumela. Nanku kwakhona, kuyimfuneko ukuzityhila ngokuchanekileyo kunye kakuhle. Kodwa qaphela kakhulu, kuba le nto yinto ebalulekileyo ebomini bakho. Ngako oko, akufanele unganciphise oku, mhlawumbi uya kudana kwaye ulahlekelwe ngumdla. Ngokukodwa oku kusebenza kubafana abaza kukuqwalasela intombazana enokuqala eyakhayo kuye kunokuba yona imele yona.
3. Kodwa kwimeko yesithathu, makhe sifumane okokufihlakeleyo emva kokubizwa ngokuba yi-facade ye "isimo" sakho. Kodwa apha kufuneka ukuba sele uqala ukuqala kwakho kwesibini. Ngamanye amazwi, luhlobo lwenu lothando, umnqweno wokunceda abanye ngexesha elibunzima kubo, ukukwazi kwakho ukuba nomnene, ukukhuseleka, obuthathaka kunye nelo xesha. Khumbula ukuba ezi mpawu zinikezelwe ngabasetyhini obuthathaka, kwaye kwaye asifanele sithintele okanye siphephe. Kodwa yazi ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba uphile ngokusisigxina, ukuxhomekeka kula "maqhinga" amabhinqa. Kumele ujonge kakuhle ubuchule bokuzama iimpawu zomntu. Oko kukuthi, xa kufuneka ube namandla, uqine kwaye uzimisele. Kule meko uza kuba nakho ukuphumelela kuyo yonke into, ukuba ungathathi, kuquka nobomi bakho.
4. Hlalani nizilumko, kuxhomekeka kwimeko apho ukhona, uzame kwiindima ezintsha. Ungaze uzame ukuba mnandi kumntu wonke. Ukuba uhlala unyanelisayo, unomusa, uya kuqondwa ngokuthi "dummy". Oku kunjalo ngokukodwa kubantu abanobutyebi kuyo yonke into, baya kuqonda ukuba ufikeleleka kakhulu kwaye "kulula", kwaye ke akunjalo umntu onomdla. Ngoko ngamanye amaxesha uzama ukuba nesibindi kunye nokuzingca, kumngeni. Kholwa, nantsi ngokuqinisekileyo uya kufumana inhlonipho evela kwindoda yendawo yakho. Khumbula ukuba umntu onokuxhatshazwa unomdla ngakumbi kunokuba uthobele kwaye ululawuleke. Ngendlela, ungalibali ukuba usebenze. Njalo uzama, ngokungathi ucinga ngengqondo yeyiphi na imimangaliso, ungalindelanga ukuba uya kuzisa "ulonwabo kwisitya sesilivere". Hlalani nilwela kuze kube sekupheleni kwaye ukuba uyazi ukuba ngowakho, uye kwinqanaba elinqobileyo. Ungesabi ukukhuphisana nabanye. Oku kuya kunika amandla kwaye kukuncedise ukuba uphumelele kwaye ungagxininiswe nayiphi na imeko.
5. Ulawulo lokugqibela lwezintlanu luya kuba kukuba kufuneka uhlale ungalindelekanga. Ngokuqhelekileyo le ndlela yokuziphatha isebenza namadoda. Bahlala bekholelwa ukuba banokuqikelela ngokulula ukuziphatha komfazi. Okokuqala, bacinga ukuba ukuba bawunqwenela ibhinqa kumntu wabo, banokwenza ngokulula kwaye bakwenze oko bafuna. Ngoko ke, uyeke ukuhlala nje njengowesifazane. Uyakwazi ukuphikisana ngexesha elifanelekileyo nelingalindelekanga. Kwaye, ngokubaluleke kakhulu, soloko uzama ukwenza izinto ngendlela yakho okanye njengoko umphefumlo wakho ukuxelela. Khumbula ukuba ukungaqiniseki kwabasetyhini akuyi kubuya, kwaye nangona kunjalo, akukhenkethi nje kuphela amadoda angokoqobo anempahla enamandla amakhulu, kodwa emva kwabo impumelelo kunye nokukwazi ukuvuya.
Ngoko sihlolisise imigaqo ebalulekileyo, ubuhle, impumelelo, inhlanhla kunye nolonwabo kuzo zonke iintombazana. Ngoku, sicinga ukuba wena, ngokuziqwalasela, uya kukwazi ukonwaba, kwaye uphumelele kuyo yonke into, ukuba ungathathi. Kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu, ukufumana ulonwabo ebomini bakho. Emva kwakho konke, kuvela kuye ukuba isabelo esikhulu kakhulu senhlalakahle yantombazana incike.
Kwaye njengesiphelo ndifuna ukuthetha, yinto nje yokufunda ukutsala impumelelo kunye nolonwabo, ukubamba ngezandla zombini. Khumbula ukuba ngaphantsi kwamanzi amatye angaphumi. Ngoko yenza kwaye uphucule ngokwakho, ubomi bakho, izimvo zakho kuyo kunye nokubonakala kwakho. Inhlanhla kuwe!