Isikhokelo - eNtshona
Le ngqungquthela, ebizwa ngokuthi "ukutshatyalaliswa kwemitshato yomfazi", yaphawulwa yiengcali phakathi ne-1990. Emva kokuba "iContain Curtain" yawa ngokugquma, amaninzi amaninzi afumana ithuba lokwenene lokufika kwilizwe lemilingo lamaphupha abo phantsi kwegama eliqhelekileyo kwelinye ilizwe. Iingcamango zethu zazimelelwe imilambo yobisi kunye nemiguqu, apho kukho izindlu ezimhlophe ezihlala zihle kunye nezikhulu ezintle. Sazi ngokuqinisekileyo: "kukho" kungcono. Iphakamileyo imilinganiselo yokuphila, imithetho engapheliyo, ukucocwa kwezitrato, ngokugqithiseleyo i-hamburgers. Kwaye bayazi ngokuqinisekileyo: "apha" -abasetyhini abaselula. Enhle, onobubele, onovelwano, oqoqosho kunye nolona luleke kakhulu - lunako ukubonga. Umphefumlo osisigxina waseSlavic ngokutshintshisa umgangatho wasentshona wobomi - olu tshintsho lwaluqwalaselwa ngamacandelo omabili ukuba athembeke. Kodwa kwavela ukuba ukubonisana komnye nomnye kumacala omabini kwiphatho yangaphambili babethandwa kakhulu kwaye bafumanisa ukuba intlalontle yamadoda abo isekelwe koqoqosho, umda we-avarice, kwaye ayivunyelwanga ukuphonsa imali kwiindawo ezikuyo. Ewe, izikhulu zakwamanye amazwe zizibuza ukuba kutheni umfazi engadanga ngokuvuyisa, ekufumaneni indlu entsha insimbi, umfriji kunye nomatshini wokuhlamba: ingabe akazange avunyelwe konke oku kwilizwe lakhe elihluphekayo? Ukuqala kokutshatyalaliswa kwempatho, iindabuko zemihla ngemihla ngokuqhawula umonakalo, ukungaphumeleli kwabantu abafudukayo emisebenzini, abaphangi bomtshato, izakhiwo zobugebengu ekuthengiseni abantu abantu bathululelwa njengesichotho ... Sathi sithembeka ngakumbi, sanele ngokwabo, saqala ukuhamba phesheya kwaye sithetha "nabo" abathandani nabaseMartians , kodwa njengabalingani bezoshishino kunye nabaxhamli be-interlocutors abamnandi kwiintetho ze-intanethi, kwaye konke oku kudala ukuba atshate umntu osisityebi. "I-Interdevochek" ibe yincinci, nangona ukuhamba kwabaxumi kwii-arhente zomtshato zamazwe ngamazwe kuye kwazinza iminyaka emininzi. Indlela yokutshata ngokusemthethweni umntu wesinye isizwe - kungekhona abaninzi abakulungele ukuphendula lo mbuzo.
Kwaye ekuqaleni konyaka uMphathiswa wezobuLungisa baseUkraine uMykola Onischuk, ngokubhekiselele kubalo-manani bemizimba yobhaliso, kubhala ukunyameka: umtshato ngamnye oneminyaka engama-30 obhaliswe e-Ukraine uqukunjelwa phakathi kwabantu bakithi nabangaphandle. Nangona sibheka ingqalelo kubemi be-CIS kumazwe - amanani ayenomdla. Kwaye, njengoko ndandixelelwa kwiOffice Registry Office yaseKiev, kwiinkwenkwezi ezininzi, umfokazi ungumyeni. "Thatha amantombazana ethu ..." - wachaza umqeshwa, undixelele amanani.
Ukuba sithetha malunga nobudala bomtshato abangakwaziyo ukutshata umfokazi kunye nabaphupha umtshato ovuyisayo, amaqela amabini ahluke phakathi kwabo. Amantombazana okuqala-amancinane, kuphela oko avela kwizikolo eziphakamileyo: iminyaka eyi-22 ukuya kuma-25. Abesibini abafazi abanamava, kunye nemitshato emibili engaphumelelanga emva kwamahlombe abo, ngamanye amaxesha kunye nabantwana kwaye sele bekhulile imisebenzi-baneminyaka engama-35 okanye ngaphezulu.
Isizathu sokutshintshwa komtsha omtsha wokutshatyalaliswa kwemitshato sihlala phezulu. Ewe, ewe, igama elidumileyo kwiileta ezintandathu, "c" yokugqibela. Amaxesha anzima anako ukwenza iimbali ezininzi ezihlala zihlala kuthi. Kwaye kwanokwazi kakuhle ukuba "khona" - iingxaki zabo kunye nobomi abukhenkce njengoko sasiyicinga, sifuna ukuza kwindawo apho yonke into ifanele ibe bhetele kwiingqungquthela zeengxaki. Kalula nje ngokuba "kukhona" akukho "apha". Kulungile apho singekho khona, kwaye iinkosana ezintle kwiimbali zamagama azikho ngethuba kuphela zihlala kuphela ekupheleni komhlaba, kwaye akukho namnye kwinqaba elingummelwane. Ukushiya konke kunye nokushiya yindlela elula kakhulu yokutshintsha ubomi, kwaye ingxaki yinkqubela ekuphuhliseni, esenza sibe nesisombululo ngakumbi ekuphumezeni iinjongo ezabonakala zingenakwenzeka.
Okokuqala, oomama baya kumazwe aphesheya bephethe umgangatho ophezulu wobomi kunoko, kwaye ngenxa yoko bafuna ukutshata nomfokazi osisityebi. Kwaye, okwesibini, bafuna imodeli eyahlukeneyo yobudlelwane, isimo sengqondo esahlukileyo kubo kunokuba zisetyenziswe ekhaya. Akuyona ingozi ukuba imitshato eminye yamazwe ngamazwe iqukunjelwa phakathi kwamantombazana amantombazana kunye namadoda aphakathi kweminyaka. Umfazi omncinane ulindele umtshato wokuzithemba kwixesha elizayo, ekuthi, ngombono wakhe, kuphela umntu omdala onamandla onokubanika. Iingcamango ezinjalo, eqinisweni, zihlobene nomfanekiso ofanelekileyo wobawo - lo mfanekiso uyadalwa ngokukodwa nawuphi na umfazi.
Yaye yintoni eyenza izikhulu zakwamanye amazwe kwiimimousine ezimhlophe? Okwangoku, bayeka ukukhangela abafazi baseSlavic njengabancinci bezindlu okanye i-accessory enhle yokuphuma. Okubaluleke ngakumbi kubo ngenye impawu - echanekileyo kunokuba yintombazana yaseNtshona ekutshatweni komtshato, ukuxhomekeka kwintsapho, kwaye kungengomsebenzi. Phantse wonke umfazi wethu, atshade nomfokazi, uceba ukuzala abantwana kulo mtshato.
Idatha yangaphandle yowesifazane ozayo, nangona kunjalo, isabalulekile kubaphathi belizwe langaphandle - uhlobo lwe-Slavic lobuhle aluveli kwimoya kungekuphela kwimizila ye-catwalks. "Eza eUkraine, amadoda aseNtshona aphawule ukuba baninzi amantombazana amnandi. Abafazi baseYurophu nabaseMerika banengqiqo ephakamileyo yobunini.
Indoda ilula kakhulu ukufumana umfazi - kungekhona nje kuphela, kodwa enomusa, onothando, onobuqili. Ubuncinane bakhe ibhonasi eyongeziweyo kwindawo enokukhuphisana. " Ngokuka-Anastasia, abantu abaninzi bezoshishino baseNtshona bathi bayavuma ukuqhuba ishishini kunye ne-Ukraine, phantsi kwemeko yezoqoqosho engazinzileyo ngoku, ngenxa yokuba bafumene umfazi apha. Ngoko abatshabalala belizwe bathengisa umsebenzi omhle kunye nomfanekiso womhlaba wonke - kwimeko enzima kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ingxaki yokulindela
Iimbono ezinzulu malunga nobomi obutsha, obubonakala ngathi, bufanele ukuba lube ngcono ngenxa yokuba lutsha, xa ushukunyiswa ngaphandle kwamanye amazwe aphukile - kungekhona "ngokuphathelele ubomi", njengolu hlobo lwesithandwa, kodwa ngokubhekisana nenkcubeko kunye neengqondo phakathi kwamazwe ethu . Iingxaki, njengoko kunjalo njalo, ukuqhubeka kokufaneleka.
Siye sachaza ukuba esinye sezizathu zabasetyhini abaza kutshata nabasemzini ngumnqweno wobuhlobo obuhluke ngokupheleleyo kunokwesiko kwenkcubeko yethu. Njengomphumo wokunqoba kwamabhinqa, okwenene kunye nokungabonakali kokulingana kwamadoda nabasetyhini eWest kubonakaliswe ngokusemthethweni kuphela, kodwa nakwinqanaba lemihla ngemihla: "umyeni ongu-patriarchal" kwindoda ebudlelwaneni, bobabini bazama ukuqwalasela iinqwenela zombini boqabane. Ngokomzekelo, ngenxa yeziphulo ezininzi zokulwa nogonyamelo lwasekhaya, amadoda aseMerika naseYurophu sele afunde ngokubanzi ukuba ukuba umfazi uthi "hayi" - oko kuthetha "akukho." Ngaphandle kokungathandabuzeki kunye nokungabaza kuguqulelwa ngokusondeza "akukho." Ngokwenza oko, oku kungakhokelela kwimeko: umyeni nje akangena kwigumbi lomfazi wakhe, ukuba uvale umnyango ebusuku. Ngomso olulandelayo-ukudibana komnye: "Kutheni ungafiki kum?" - "Kodwa uvale umnyango, ndingafika njani? "Kwakhona, abaninzi abafazi baseUkraine baxhaswa ngumkhwa wendoda yakhe yokubuza imibono kunye nokuba nomdla ekukhethweni kwakhe: intombazana ikhuliswe ngokuqinisekileyo" ukugqiba isigqibo somntu ", akunakukwazi ukuhlala uyayiqonda into ayifunayo, kuvunyelwe. Ngokubanzi, abantu baseYurophu kunye nabemi baseMerika banako ukukwazi ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo kunye nokuxubusha ubudlelwane. Ukuba iqabane lakho elikhethiweyo liye lafumana umtshato oyingxaki, mhlawumbi nayo isebenze kule ngxaki ngumbhali kwaye ngoku uyakwazi ukuthetha ngezinto ezinjalo ngaphambi kokukhokelela kwintsapho.
Umphefumlo omkhulu waseSlavic awusoloko uhambelana nomnqweno onqwenela ngokukhuselekileyo wokukhusela indawo , apho amaMelika ahluke ngokukhethekileyo (phakathi kweYurophu, isiNgesi, amaJamani kunye namaScandinavia, kwaye ngezantsi isiFrentshi kunye nabameli bezilwimi zasemazantsi baziphatha ngendlela efanayo). Uluntu apho lulungiswe ukuba umntu ngamnye uhlale ecaleni, ngokulinda ngokugqithiseleyo ukungabikho kwempilo yobomi bakhe nabanye. Omnye unokukwazi ukungena, andinayo. Ndiyayixabisa ukulula nokukhawuleza kulwalamano. " Kwanesangqa sabantu abasondeleyo akusiyo isiko lokuhlaselwa kwintsimi yomntu ngamnye - yingakho iintsapho zabantwana nabazali zihlala ngokwahlukileyo, iingxabano phakathi ko "mkhwenkwe" kunye "nomkhwekazi" zivela ngokungafanekiyo, kwaye iindlalifa ezikhulayo "zikhutshwe ngaphandle kwidleke" xa ziba zikhulile, ukuba inqwenela inkululeko ayiyi ngaphambili. Omnye uya kubingelela lo mzekelo wobudlelwane: njengokuba uphumelele kakhulu, umntu uza kuthatha isigqibo sokuba esi siko asinayo i-pinch of warmth and soulfulness. Kodwa ulwalamano olwamkelekileyo kuluntu njengemozulu: alukwazi ukutshintshwa, unokuzivumelanisa kuphela.
Kwiintsapho zaseNtshona akukho phantse "imfazwe" phakathi kwezihlobo, kubandakanywa nabatshatileyo: ipakisha entsha "yangaphambili" iyavuya ukudibana, ichitha ixesha kunye nabantwana, njl. - uhlobo olunjalo lweengcali zeentsapho ezibizwa ngokuthi i-polynuclearny. Akukho mhawu kulezi ziganeko aziphakamanga - kuba zonke iingxaki zixoxwa kwaye zasebenza ixesha elide, akukho mntu ugcina amatye esifubeni sakhe. "5" kunokusenza sidibanise "nemitshato yamahhala", apho nathi singenangqiqo.
Iifom zamabhinqa zizele izikhalazo malunga ne-avarice yabashenxi bezinye iintlanga: abafazi bethu abahambelani nentloko kunye nokuba kutheni ubuncwane buhambisana nokugcinwa okunjalo okungenakwenzeka. Kutheni, ukuba ingeniso yendoda ingamakhulu amawaka eedola ngonyaka, akakwazi ukumnika amawaka amahlanu ngoku? Kwanjalo nangemva kokuba umyeni kwiminwe yakhe ecacise kuyo apho ngokuqinisekileyo la mawaka amawaka ahamba-irhafu, iikhredithi njalonjalo. Amaxesha amaninzi abatshatileyo bajongene nenyaniso yokuba indoda ephumelelayo ayifuni ukukhokela indlela yokuphila ehambelana (ngokwembono yowesifazane) kwiimeko zakhe. Omnye wala ma heroines wencwadana yamazwe ngamazwe utshatile umhwebi waseNorway ohloniphekileyo kwaye wamangaliswa ngokwenene ukuba umyeni wakhe ukhetha ukukhokela indlela yokuphila yaseSpartan, ahlala kwindlu elula yokhuni kunye nezinto ezincinci ezifunekayo kwaye achithe ixesha elide kwi-gym.
IUkraine ayikho iYurophu?
Sinobubelekazi base-Ukraine nabanomusa, kunokuba siqhube umyeni kwi-stupor. Ukubala abantu baseYurophu abaziqondi umnqweno kunye nokukwazi ukuhlala ngaphaya kweendlela zethu: "Ziziphi iinqwelo zeenqwelo-moya ezivela kwiibhotwe zeKrushchev?" Kutheni unokwenza iindawo zokunethezeka ezinjalo kwiindawo zokuhlala kunye nokubandakanya ematyaleni amaninzi, ukulungelelanisa umtshato okanye omnye umkhosi? "U-Skaryna, eNtshonalanga ukhetha ukuhlala ngokuthobeka kwaye angenasiphelo:" Abasomabhizinisi baseNtshona bathi loo mizi enomsindo kunye nemihlali njengeMoscow neKiev ifanelekile ukwenzela ukuba uchithe ulutsha - kwixesha elihloniphekileyo kakhulu bakhetha indawo engaphantsi kweendawo zokuhlala. " Abafazi bezinye iintlanga badidekile ngathi "baya kuthini abantu?" - bajonge njalo zonke izihlobo kunye nabamelwane abagcinwe kuphela kwiidolophana ezincinci.
Ngokuphathelele umnotho owaziwayo, apho abafazi baseUkraine baxhamla ukumangalisa amadoda abo angaphandle, eWest kudla ukuphazamiseka ngokubanzi: ngenxa yokuphuhliswa kobuchwepheshe, ukugcinwa kwendlu kudinga ubuncinane ubunzima. Kutheni kubangela ubunzima ngokwabo, kwaye ke bomelele ngentshiseko ukuba zonke iingxaki zasekhaya zixazululwa ngokucindezela amaqhosha ambalwa?
Kwimeko nayiphi na, nangona abaza kutshata bafumana ithuba lokuzilana, ukuba batyelele, baqhelane nezihlobo nabahlobo-malunga nomnyaka emva kokuhamba, baya kulungelelanisa imeko entsha. Kwaye ingongoma apha ayikho emithintelo yolwimi (zonke iingcali zichazela ngokubodwa ukuba le yinkinga encinci kunokwenzeka), kodwa kwiimeko ezihluke ngokupheleleyo, kunye nemithetho eyahlukeneyo, izithethe, imikhwa, isigqi somphefumlo. Olu bunzima obukhunjelwayo, umele ulinde, ungagqibi ukugqithisa, kwaye ungagqibi ukukhawuleza i-suitcase yakho engayichazwanga kunye nekhaya lakho, njengabantu abaninzi abasweleyo. Nangona ilizwe libonakala liseduze neUkraine - akunakwenzeka ukwenza ngaphandle kwexesha lokuqhelanisa. U-Eugenia, owatshatileyo ePoland, wavuma kum ukuba iinyanga ezi-ezintandathu zokuqala zazingenakuze zenzeke nzima: andizange ndiyiqonde into endiyenzayo apha na apho ndingaya khona. Kodwa ke, ngokumangalisayo, ndincedwa ziintsapho kunye nabahlobo-ePoland baphathwa kakuhle kunye nabakwa-Ukraine, ngoko baxolelana nam.
Ukuqwalasela ukuba zininzi zezi ngxaki zivela ngokubheka ngokutshatyalalisayo imitshato yenkcubeko, asiyiyona iYurophu kakhulu njengoko sifuna ukubonakala. Ngoko - sinokukhangeka ngokuthe tye. Mhlawumbi, ngexesha, xa ingxaki iphelile, kwaye ukuhlanganiswa okuqhelekanga kuya kwenzeka kungekuphela kwintsikiti, kodwa kwiingcinga, siya kukwazi ukubonana singabanye abafokazi, kodwa nje ngabantu abanomdla kunye nabalungileyo. Ngenxa yokuba uqeqesho lubonisa: le mininzi imitshato apho ukuhlukana kobuhlanga phakathi kwabatshatileyo kungabonakali ngcaciso ngomzuzu kwaye ayibukeli kuzo zonke izikhelo kulwalamano. Kodwa kulo mzekelo, mhlawumbi, akunakuqonda ukuthetha malunga nomendo: kubomi nje.