Ayikho imfihlo yokuba amadoda nabesifazane bajonga ihlabathi ngokuhlukileyo emva komtshato. Kuyabasetyhini, umfanekiso uguquka rhoqo, ngelixa amadoda egcina ngaphakathi kwesakhelo esinye. Kungenxa yoko, emva komtshato, esi sibini siqala ukuhlukana kwiimbono zabo zobomi bentsapho. Okokuqala, xa uphendula umbuzo: "Kutheni abafazi batshintsha isimo sabo sengqondo kumlingane emva kwemitshato? ", Ndifuna ukuphawula ukuba intombazana ngokwayo iyamkela ukunikezelwa kwesandla kunye nentliziyo ngokungenamthetho njengesiqinisekiso sobomi obungunaphakade kunye nesisombululo seengxaki zonke. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, iqabane liqala ukuqonda ukuba wenza iphutha kuba wayeselitshatile okanye utshatile, okanye akazange aphile ngokulindelekileyo. Kodwa umtshato uyinto eqhelekileyo xa abantu batshata, bazala abantwana kwaye bahlala ngoxolo noxolo. Kodwa, ngelishwa, emva komtshato, kungekhona wonke umntu onokuhlala ehlala kwaye esoloko ehlala, ehleli ixesha elithile emtshatweni womthetho, abantu abakwazi ukuqonda ngokucacileyo imisebenzi yabo kunye noko bakufunayo ebomini. Kwaye ngakumbi ngakumbi, xa ibhinqa liqonda impazamo yakhe ngokumalunga nomlingane wakhe, ngamanye amazwi, udidekile ekukhethweni kwakhe. Enyanisweni, xa kwenzeka ukuba ubudlelwane bomtshato bubatshintshele omnye komnye emva komtshato, kukho iindlela ezimbini: umtshato onomvandalo, umthande ohlangothini, ubomi obuthathaka kunye neqabane elingenakhathazekayo, okanye ukufumana ukuvisisana okuya kunceda ukubeka yonke into kwindawo yayo.
Ukuze umlingane angayitshintshi isimo sakhe sengqondo kumlingane wakhe, kubalulekile ukuqonda imigaqo echanekileyo apho isibini ngasinye kufuneka silandele umtshato. Ngokuqhelekileyo, abaninzi abantu bavakalisa uluvo lwabo lokuba nasemva komtshato, "akukho mntu unyanzelekile kunoma ubani". Yaye le ngongoma yongxaki kunayo nayiphi na intsapho. Ukuba omnye wabafazi uhlala ngokomgaqo walo, ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kwenzeka ukutshintsha isimo sabo sengqondo kwintanda ethandekayo ngendlela engafanelekanga. Emva kwakho konke, ukunyaniseka akuyona into ekhethekileyo yobomi bentsapho. Ngoko ke, ngokumalunga nale mvakalelo yeqabane lakho, awufuni ukuba uqobo lwakho, ungatshintshanga uluvo lwakho malunga nalo kwaye, ngelo xesha, kungengcono. Lapha kunye nomvakalelo wokudumala kwikhethiweyo akude kude. Ngako oko, ukwenzela ukuba oku kungenzeki, soloko uzama ukuphatha kakubi ukuziphatha kwakho, ukunyamekela, ukunyamezela kunye nomonde, kwaye ukuba iimpazamo ziqala ukubonakala kuye, khumbula ukuba umonde wakho kunye nomonde wakho uya kuba "peretrut".
Kwimeko apho ibhinqa litshintsha umbono wakhe ngomntu ngokumtshata, kufuneka ukuba aziqonde kwaye afune ukuba yintoni ekulindelwe kulo mntu. Emva koko, iqabane lifuna ukuqonda ukuba akunjalo kumntu, kodwa nje ngokutshintshwa kwenkqubo yokubambisana. Emva koko, umtshato utshintsha kakhulu. Ibhinqa elinzima ukuyiqonda le nto kwaye ngoko ucinga ukuba kuhlobo lakhe. Khawubheke nje iintombi zakho ezingatshatanga uze ucinge ngendlela abazihlazileyo ngayo ekupheliseni kwakho.
Ungaze ulalele iingxabano zabazali bakho malunga nenyaniso yokuba wenze iphosakelo, khumbula ukuba banokwenza lula ukuba uluvo lwakho. Ngendlela, kwiimeko ezininzi kwiimvini zabo ukuba intombazana inokutshintsha kakhulu imbono yakhe ngomyeni wayo, enokubangela ukuba uqhawule umtshato. Ngelinye igama, "phila intloko yakho".
Esinye isizathu sokuba umfazi utshintshe ingqondo yakhe malunga neqabane lakhe inokuba yintoni eqala ukumbheka ngayo amehlo ahluke ngokupheleleyo emva komtshato. Ngokomzekelo, awuzange uqaphele izinto ezilula, emva kokushicilelwa kwipasipoti, ziye zaba yinyaniso yangaphakathi. Uqala ukucaphukisa ukuba izinto kunye namaphepha avela kwideskiti yakhe okanye i-wardrobe isithumele ngasese ehholo kwitheyibhile yokutyebisa, kwaye kwindawo yakhe embhedeni inja ethandekayo ilala (engayikhimbanga nayo), kwaye yonke intsasa ihamba ijikeleze indlu kwelinye ngaphantsi komnye) ekufuneni "iisokisi" ezisebusweni. Kwaye, eyona nto iyakhathazeka kakhulu, ihlala ikubuza apho ushiye khona isikhwama sakho se-laptop. Ngaphezu kokuba unesizathu esinye sokutshintsha uluvo lwakho malunga nentanda yakho. Yintoni endingayithethayo, bonke abantu banjalo. Kwaye kuyafaneleka ukuqwalasela. Ayikho into yokuba enye ayiyi kufana. Ngoko vumkele nje njengoko kunjalo kwaye ungawushushu ngenxa yokuphazamiseka. Ngendlela, ukuba ukhathele ngamabali akhe omde ngomsebenzi okanye ngabahlobo ngaphandle koko, zama nje ukwenza izinto zakho ngaphandle kokubhathela ingqalelo kuye, okanye ucebise isihloko sakho ngokuphumla kwimeko.
Ngoko, akusiyo umtshato wabatshatileyo abaguquka, kodwa abafazi batshintsha ubomi babo emva kwayo. Musa nje ukukhathazeka ngeempazamo zayo kwaye, nangakumbi, phulaphula izimvo kunye neengcebiso zabanye. Khumbula ukuba ayikho into ekhokelela kuyo yonke into. Kodwa, ukuba utshintshe uluvo lwakho malunga nentanda yakho, unokuyibuyisela. Khawukhumbule nje "ii-pluses" ezazingaphambili, nangaphambi kokuba umtshato uthandane nothando kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo kuza kukukhumbuza inkumbulo, uze uncede ukhangele umfazi ngamanye amehlo. Khumbula ukuba emva komtshato, ubomi buqala ukwahlukana kwiimimandla ezimbini: ngaphakathi kwendlu yakho nangaphandle kweendonga zayo. Ngoko uzama ukugcina nje kwindawo yakho yokuvumelana nokuqonda.
Ngendlela, iingcali zincoma ukuba xa ubheka umyeni wakho kwaye uqonde ukuba into elahlekile kuye, cinga ngomntwana. Ngoko ke ngokuqinisekileyo imbono yokuthumela iqabane elingenayo yonke imibutho emine izakuyeka ukutyelela intloko yakho. Kwaye unokuqalisa ngokuphepha ubomi bakho ukususela ekuqaleni. Khumbula ukuba akufanele uphumelele izigqibo. Emva kwakho konke, ulonwabo aluthandi abo ba kha wuleza kwaye abazixabisi izinto abanayo. Cinga ngako. Inhlanhla kwaye akukho nto ididayo ebomini bakho!