Makhe siqwalasele ubudlelwane obusisiseko kwiintsapho ezitshatileyo zentsapho. Kutheni umntu ekwazi ukuhlala nomntu omnye ade afe, kwaye umntu akakwazi ukuma phambi kwayo kunye nomzuzu. Imfihlo yobomi bentsapho obude kunye nolonwabileyo ekunikeni inzululwano nomnye, Njengomthetho, xa usapho olutsha ludalwa, ngokukhawuleza umzuzu kunye neqabane lethu singena kwimithwalo yezihlobo zakhe kunye nabahlobo ongeke ube nazo ulwalamano. Ngokuqhelekileyo baqhelana nabazali babo emva komtshato. Iziqabane ezininzi ezitshatileyo ziquka abantu bezizwe ezahlukeneyo kunye neenkolo ezahlukeneyo. Isizathu sokuxabana kwentsapho sinokuba ngumbuzo wokuba uhambele iindwendwe kaninzi kangakanani, ngakumbi ukuba indoda nomfazi abavela kwimimandla eyahlukeneyo yelizwe lethu elide okanye batshata nomfokazi.
Emva kwakho konke, rhoqo iqabane lakho okanye iqabane lakho lithanda ukuchitha iihholo okanye iiyure zokusebenza, libhubhisa izibini ezitshatileyo. Ibhinqa ayifuni ukuxubusha ibhola lebhola, kwaye loo ndoda ihamba ngokutsha kwimoya. Ziziphi izizathu eziphambili zokuxabana kwezibini:
- Imisebenzi yasekhaya
- Ukunikezelwa kwemali kunye nokungabi naso
- Abantwana
- Ubudlelwane nezihlobo
- Ulwalamano nabahlobo
- Ngesondo
- Ixesha lokubuyela ekhaya
- Ukucaphukisa xa izithembiso kunye neemfuno zenye yeqela azizalisekanga
- Utywala
- Umbandela wezindlu
Iingqumbo zebinibini zisoloko zivela ngenxa yokukhathala, xa omnye umfazi eqala ukugula, unelungelo lokuxhomekeka kuvelwano okanye uncedo kwisiqingatha sakhe. Intukuthelo yindlela umntu asabela ngayo ekuziphatheni okungalindelekanga xa bengenzi ngendlela onokuthanda ngayo. Umlingane okhubazelweyo unokusebenzisa kakubi ukuthetha kakubi, ukuxhatshaza imeko ngokuhlaselwa kwaye akuphelelanga ngokwaneleyo kule meko aze athole indlela yokubuyisana. Ukusabela okubuhlungu kunxantathu (umama-umyeni-umyeni-umfazi) phantse yonke intsapho. Zingaphi i-anecdotes malunga noninazala, okungenakuphikiswa, xa kuziwa kubazukulwana, abavikela umntombazana wabo ngokugqithiseleyo, kodwa ukujoyina umanyano kunye nomyeni wakhe ngezinye izikhathi kubangela ukukhukula nentombi. Ibinzana elidumileyo: "Musa ukuchukumisa umama" uyaziwayo kwiintsapho ezininzi, kwaye ukususela ebuntwaneni isicatshulwa sobudlelwane kwintsapho luye lwaphuhliswa.
Abantu abaninzi bafuna ukuhlala njengabazali okanye ngokuchaseneyo bafuna ukuphuma kwimpikiswano yezibini ezitshatileyo, banike into entsha kwibudlelwane. Ingxaki yezindlu iwonakalise ubomi beembambano ezininzi, imbangela yenkxwabo yentsapho ingaba ukungafuni ukuhlala nabazali babazali babo kunye nokungakwazi ukuhlala emakhaya abo. Imindeni ihlanganiswe ndawonye iminyaka emagumbini elinye, kwiiborori kunye neentsapho ezincinci, kungekhona yonke intsapho inokumelana nokuvavanywa, , ejika ibe ngumtshato. Isizathu esona sizathu sokuxabana sisoloko siba ngabantwana. Abazali bazama ukufakela umntwana oko bakufunayo, kodwa ngamanye amaxesha into elahlekileyo okanye umntwana uqala ukuvukela, kuxhomekeke ekubeni ngubani oya kuxhasa inkxaso okanye ukuxolela ubuthathaka bakhe, ekuqapheliseni ukuba akuyiyo yonke into enokuyifumana, ixesha lokukholiswa noko kwenzekayo, enayo. Akunjalo onke amabhinqa angamkela ubukho benkosikazi, kungekhona wonke umntu onokuyeka ixesha elide ngaphandle kwesondo. Utywala ngumnye wezifo ezimbi zesintu. Akunjalo nje kuphela abo abagulayo abangonwabileyo, kodwa bonke abo bajikelezayo. Zingaphi iiseliti zesigxina umlingane onxilisayo, uchitha imali eninzi kwi-budget yekhaya, kwaye zingaphi ezinye izifo ezixutywayo, ngaphezu koko, kwinqanaba lokuxhatshazwa, ukungathembeki komtshato kunye nolwaphulo-mthetho lwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiweyo, emva koko umlingane angawela entolongweni okanye ahlaselwe yizifo ezithathelwana ngesondo, ezonakalisa ukudideka nokungahambelani ebomini obatshatileyo bomtshato abatshatileyo.
Kwizinto ezithandwayo akuphikisana, kodwa ukukhethwa kwintsebenzo yabalingani kunokungafani, ngenxa yale nto, kwakhona kukho iingxabano. Omnye uhlala engumntwana, engathandekiyo kwizinwele ezimpunga, kwaye nangenxa yokwabiwa kwemali kunye nokuhlekisa ukuthetha, ukhumbuza inkampani apho wonke umntu ulindele ukwanda komvuzo. Xa kwenzeka ukunganeliseki ngamaqela, kukho ukunciphisa abasebenzi. Ingqwalasela ngokukhethekileyo ifanele izibini, apho abantwana abasuka kwimitshato eyahlukeneyo. Lapha konke kuxhomekeke ekubeni abakhulileyo banokwenza ukuba bonke abantwana bajabule, ngaphandle kokubagxotha ingqalelo kunye neenzuzo eziphathekayo. Xa indoda kunye nomfazi bekwazi ukuvumelana kunye nokwahlukana, ukuxabana phakathi kwezibini ezitshatileyo zicinywa, iingxabano zixazululwa, kwaye abantu bahlala ndawonye kunye novuyo. Abantu abasanda kutshata kufuneka bakhumbule ukuba izizathu eziphambili zokuxabana kwezibini ezitshatileyo kufuneka zingabandakanyi nemiphumo yazo embi.