Emva kwexesha, uqaphela ukuba akabandakanyekanga ekukhuliseni umntwana. Ukuba uyazibuza: "Kutheni abantu bengenako ukuvelisa abanye abantwana babantu?", Emva koko ungekho nto. Amadoda, njengabesifazane, ahluke. Indoda yindoda kumntu, kwaye oku, kwindawo yokuqala, kufuneka kuzaliseke. Kutheni nonke unye? Ewe, kukho amadoda ayikayo abanye abantwana babantu. Bayesaba ukuphendulwa komama xa "becinezela" kakhulu kumntwana. Ukuba umntu uyakuthanda ngokwenene, oku akuthethi ukuba uya kumthanda umntwana wakho, ukuba nje ngenxa yokuba ayiyinyama yakhe negazi lakhe. Mhlawumbi ufuna ixesha lokuba afundeke kwimisebenzi emitsha, okanye mhlawumbi uqaphele, ukuze angakucaphukisi.
Ukuba awukwazi ukuba kutheni amadoda angakwazi ukufundisa abantwana bantwini, ke khangela, ubuncinane kumntu oqhelekileyo. Amadoda amaninzi akwazi ukuvelisa abantwana bawo, kuba unembopheleleko, kwaye ukhulisa umntwana womnye umntu, indoda leyo ixanduva ngakumbi. Ukuba kukho into enxibelelwano phakathi ko "omtsha ubawo" kunye nomntwana wakho ehamba ngokungahambi kakuhle, indoda iyaqala ukubeka ityala kwabanye abantu. Ukuba ungumfazi oyisilumko, ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuthatha indawo yokungathathi hlangothi, ngoko uzama ukuqonda amabango amacandelo amabini uze ufumane iindlela zokuxolelana.
Kukho amadoda angakhuthaza abanye abantwana babantu kwaye aboni naziphi na iingxaki ezikhethekileyo kule nto. Amadoda anjalo ahlala entle kwintsapho, bafumana ulwimi oluqhelekileyo nabani na abantwana. Umzekelo wokufundisa abantu abangaziwayo, njengabo, ubolekekwa baseMerika. Abahluli abantwana. Ngexesha lemitshato ephindaphindiweyo, abantwana banokuvela kumyeni kunye nakumfazi, kwaye abantwana abanjalo ababhekiweyo njengabaphambukeli, bayabonwa njengamalungu epheleleyo entsapho.
Amanye amadoda akakwazi ukukhulisa abantwana ngenxa yeengxaki zabo. Amadoda anjalo ngokubanzi anokufumana ubunzima ekumiseni ubudlelwane, kubakho indlela yokuphila evaliweyo. Ukuba umntu onjalo uyakufuna, vuma, ukuba ungabi ngumama onesizungu, kungekudala uzakuqala ukumbona "njenge-suitcase ngaphandle kwesibambiso." Ngaba uye wakha waphupha ngaloo ntsapho?
Amanamhlanje, amadoda athembekileyo azijonga ukuba umfazi ukhangeleka. Ama-Moms ngoku akhangeleke kakhulu kuninzi kwiminyaka edlulileyo. Ngoku ke abafazi basomashishini abajonga ngenyameko imbonakalo yabo, banoxanduva, okwenza kube yinto ephambili kumantombazana amantombazana. Esinye isibonakaliso esibalulekileyo ngumntwana onempilo, oko kuthetha ukuba umfazi unako ukuvelisa inzala enempilo, ebaluleke kakhulu ngokumalunga nesiganeko esakhulayo sabantwana abangenabungozi kunye nabantwana abangenabantwana. Emva kwexesha, amadoda awazange anike ixesha elingaphezulu lokukhulisa abantwana. Bayiqonda umntwana njengenxalenye yowesifazane.
Ngamanye amaxesha ukukhulisa abantwana kunzima ngenxa yokuzingca komntwana. Ukuba ekuqaleni umntwana uzolile malunga nokuba umntu ongaqhelekanga uza kutyelela, ngoko xa ubomi obudibeneyo buqala, yonke into iyajika. Lapha udlala indima enkulu ekuziphatheni komama, owathi wathanda, ukunakekelwa kunye nomsondlo wanikela kuphela kumntwana, kwaye ngoku uthanda umalume ongaqhelekanga. Umntwana uyaqhayisa ukulahlekelwa yinto ayisebenzisayo aze aqale ukuziphindisela. Ewe, akukho mntu uya kuthanda i-whims, kwaye umfazi uya kufuneka abe ngumenzi wokuthula. Uya kufuneka acacise kumntwana ukuba uthanda kwaye awuthandanga ngaphantsi kwexesha. Ukuphepha iimeko ezinjalo, musa ukulibala malunga nengqalelo kumntwana.
Indoda yangaphandle ayinakuyithatha indawo kayise womntwana wakho, kodwa umhlobo omhle unokuba.