Ngokubanzi, esi sigqibo asikho kude nenyaniso. Namhlanje, iintsapho ezinokuhlala zingaphelelanga, apho umama 'onesiqhayisa' ekhupha umntwana wakhe.
Kuyadabukisayo ukuba kwiimeko ezininzi abafazi bahlala 'beqhayisa'. Ngokuqhelekileyo umfazi uyazama ukuhlala yedwa, uqala ukwesaba ulwalamano olutsha. Izizathu zolu loyiko zingabininzi.
Iingcali zengqondo ziye zabonisa ixesha elide ukuba ukuziphatha kwethu kudla ngokuchaphazelekayo, masithi, ebuntwaneni bethu. Akuyona ingozi, ukwesaba ubudlelwane phakathi kwabasetyhini abaninzi kubonakala ngesiseko sabantwana babo. Ukuba ibhinqa likhulile entsapho evuyayo, apho abazali babethandana, kwaye imiphefumlo ayiboni kubantwana babo, ngoko loo mfazi wayenqwenela ukudala ubudlelwane obunjalo. Akayi kukhawuleza, njengokuba e-whirlpool kunye nentloko yakhe, ukuba angene kumntu, nokuba uyindoda ethandekayo. Kuyimangalisa into eyoyikisayo umfazi ebudlelwaneni nomyeni wakhe othandekayo nothando? Kulula kakhulu. Inyaniso yokuba ayiyi kufeza imilinganiselo echaziweyo. Into yokuqala, njengososayensi wenyaniso, umfazi ovela kwintsapho eyolo, uya kuqwalasela umthandwa wakhe phantsi kwe-microscope ngokusebenzisa i-prism yokuziphatha kwabazali, uya kuzama kwiiparitha zikayise. Kwaye ukuba akayifanele, akayi kuzama nokwakha ubuphi ubudlelwane naye.
Kwaye ukuba kwintsapho apho umama angazange avuyiswe nguyise, ngoko yintoni na ootyhini abangayesabayo ubudlelwane xa bedibana nomntu othandekayo? Iingcali zengqondo zithi kulo mzekelo, umfazi uyaqiniseka ukuba akanako intsapho eyonwabileyo. Akacingeki nokuba ubudlelwane buyakwanelisa abo babini kunye nabo, banokuba lula kwaye banomdla, kodwa bawabona njengemithwalo enyanzelekileyo ekufuneka ayidonse. Yingakho akhetha ukuhlala yedwa, kodwa akayi kuhlushwa.
Ukuba silandela le ngcamango, ngoko umfazi olwalamano olufanayo unendlela eyodwa kuphela - kwiinyawo zabazali. Enyanisweni, yonke into ayiphutha ngokupheleleyo. Njengoko akukho bantu abafanayo kunye nabafanelekileyo, ngoko akukho nto ifana, ephindaphindiweyo nakwizinto ezincinci kakhulu, kunye nobudlelwane obuhle, iingcali zengqondo ziqinisekisa. Simele sikhumbule ukuba sakha ubudlelwane bethu kuphela, ngomsebenzi wemihla ngemihla. Kwaye emva kobudlelwane nomphefumlo wakho womlingane, unokukwazi ukufezekisa okokufunayo.
Into ephambili kukuba ukwazi oko ufunayo kule nxulumano ngokwenene. Emva koko, ukuba ubuza nawuphi na umfazi lo mbuzo, ngokuqinisekileyo uza kuqala ukuluhlu iimpawu umntu afanele abe nazo, indlela afanele aziphathe ngayo intsapho. Njengoko kwaculwa ingoma enye yamaxesha aseSoviet: "Ngoko ukuba ndingaphuzi, andiyiyo, kwaye ndihlala ndibangela iintyatyambo." Kwaye, ukuba akaqinisekanga ukuba yonke into iya kuba njalo, uya kukhetha ukuhlala yedwa. Ingxaki ebalulekileyo apho abesifazane besaba ulwalamano olutsha, izazi zengqondo zithi, kukuba umntu ukhethwa njengetritshi entsha esitolo ukuze azikholise. Iinjongo zodwa kunye neemvakalelo zithathwa ingqalelo. Ngale ndlela, ibhinqa ayilungele ukunika ubudlelwane.
Akuyona ingozi ukuba izazi zengqondo zicebisa ukuba ufunde ukwamkela ubomi nabanye njengokuba kunjalo. Ubume obunjalo bobomi bunceda kwiimeko ezininzi. Kwaye, okokuqala, kwandisa amathuba okuba ubuhlobo obuhambelanayo nomntu wakho.
Kukho enye inkunzi ekufuneni ubuhlobo obutsha. Akukho ntokazi eyakhubeka kuye. Ukungakhuselekanga, kwaye, ngenxa yoko, ukuzithoba. Khumbula ukuba uninzi kangakanani na oweva kubahlobo, abasebenzisana nabo, abaqhelana namabhinqa ibinzana elifana nalo: "Kodwa endiyifunayo, ndingamkholisa ubuncinane omnye umntu?" Kunokwenzeka ukuba unikezele ngama-99% ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba aba bafazi abangatshatanga, okanye Abo baphosa ubudlelwane babo nomyeni wakhe njengomthwalo onzima, ongenakushiywa. Uyeka - uya kuhlala uwedwa, kodwa enye iyatshisa. Kwaye ulwalamano olutsha luqala ukwethusa: phi ukufumana indoda yamaphupha akho, ndiyidinga bani na?
Indlela yokuphuma kule meko iye yaziwa ngokude. Akuzange kunconywe kuthi kuphela yesazi-psychologist esilula - zithande ngokwakho, qala ukuhlonela kwaye uzixabise. Nguwe, kwaye ngaphezu kwakho konke, ngokwakho. Uyabona, kwaye abanye emva kwakho baya kwandula, baya kuqala ukuthanda, ukuhlonela nokukuxabisa. Yaye ubudlelwane buya kukhula.