"Akufanele ufunge, uyintombazana!" - ngamanye amaxesha uyamemeza omnye umntu onyanisekileyo, engayiqondi indlela ummeli wesigqibo esihle sabantu angachaza "ukungcola" amagama omama. Ngamanye amaxesha ibinzana elinjalo lingavalelwa kwindoda enengqiqo engaqhelanga. Kodwa ngaba idemon ekhohlakeleyo, njengoko enziwe ngopende, ngaba umlingane uyamthoba loo ntokazi okanye intombazana emehlweni abo? Makhe sibone.
Ngoko ke, okokuqala, ndifuna ukuphawula ukuba phantse yonke into isetyenziswe. Umntu ongaqhelekanga owela emlenzeni uyinto enzima, uyathula okanye uthethe into ehloniphekileyo. Ndicinga ukuba abaninzi bacinga ukuba yiliphi igama eliza kuvela engqondweni xa sicinga ngolu hlobo. Ngoko ke, bonke "abagcini bentetho yokucoceka," ababetha ngokugqithiseleyo kwiqabane elivela emlonyeni wesifazane, ingakumbi ukuba umntu ophazamisekayo ungumfazi, mhlawumbi uya kuba nobuqili okanye uhanahanisi.
Enye into, ngokuqinisekileyo, xa intombazana enhle, ethandekayo eqala ukujonga, iphakama phakathi kwendawo yokutyela kwaye iqala ukuthumela umhlobo wayo kwindawo yamanzi, ihamba nayo yonke le nto ngamazwi afungayo angenjongo yokuvalelwa kwezingane. Kukhangeleka ubuncinane.
Njengoko sibonile, iimeko zihlukile. Ngoko ke nini na umfazi angamkeleka, kwaye xa ekwazi ukuphazamisa nayiphi na intokazi?
Okokuqala, ukuxabana. Ngethuba lokukrakra okukhulu nokukrakra, musa nje ukuthetha. Umntu onqabileyo, intombazana enqabileyo, uya kuhlala kwigama elithethileyo okanye uphawu lomyalezo. Asiyi kuthetha ukuba ukuxabana kubi, kufuneka kugwenywe, njalo njalo. Konke oku kuqondakala ngokucacileyo, kodwa inyaniso isala ukuba iziganeko zenzekile, akukho nto enokuyenza. Into ephambili kulo mzekelo kukukhumbuza ilizwi elimangalisayo ukuba akuyimfuneko ukunyamezela ukuxabana kwindlu. Unokufungela bobabini bakho kunye nomntu wakho, kodwa ungenzi kuluntu. Uza kuba nexesha lokuxabana, kwaye ihlazo liya kuba lixesha elide elixhomekeke kuwe umthwalo onzima xa ukhangelwa ngabantu abaqhelekileyo. Inkcazo ye-koliustroite kwindawo kawonkewonke, kukho ithuba lokuba uya kufuna ukuza khona ngaphezulu.
Okwesibini, imeko kunye nomntwana. Akukho mntu unokungabaza ukuba abantwana banokuzisa umntu, bahlala bengenasiphelo, banobungozi, bengaxhamli njalo njalo njalo. Kodwa ukuba uqala ukutshata nomntu wakho, kunye nabantwana abangabantwana abangaphandle - uya kubona njenge-hamster engahlambulukanga engakwaziyo ukujongana nabantwana. Ngabantwana, ngendlela engcono, kungcono ukunciphisa ukusetyenziswa kwamagama angamnandi, ngaphandle koko baya kukuhlazisa xa bakho abahlobo obalulekileyo, okanye eklasini yesibini / yesibini yesikolo, bathetha igama kunye neleta "x." Abantwana babukela abantu abadala kwaye bahlala bephinda baphinda yonke into kubo, ngoko ukuba unqanda intombazana yakho okanye unyana wakho ukuba afunge, kwaye rhoqo kwaye unikezela "umzekelo ombi", abantwana bakho baya kusebenzisa imatshini. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba awukhathaleli nonke - nceda ufundise abantwana ukuba bafunge, njl. yayo th kunye elihle, zama ukulandela sobstvennoyrechyu kunye nabantwana.
Okwesithathu, imisebenzi yenkcubeko. Akuyimfuneko ukuthetha ukuba ilizwi elihlazola kwigalari yesikrini lifana nomntu otshaya. Ewe, oku kusemgangathweni, mhlawumbi ngamnye wabakho ekhaya uyalahla i-matynaprav kwaye yashiya, kodwa ngoku kwaye imeko iyanqwenela ukuba ibonakale ngendlela efanelekileyo, eyiyo ngokufanelekileyo nangokwemveli. Kwaye inkcubeko ayikho nje imbonakalo efanelekileyo, kodwa incoko. Unokumemeza ngokuzithelayo kwiliso lomhlobo wakho into ekhuphayo, ngokuqinisekileyo, ukuba awunayo amandla okuzibamba, ngenxa yomfanekiso wabangewona amagama, amanye amatshini, kodwa yenza njengokuthula ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukuze kungabikho mntu uya kuva. Oku kuyimbeko ebalulekileyo ekufuneka ihlonishwe.
Okwesine, intanethi. Le yindawo apho ungashenxisa ngokukhuselekileyo uze ubonise ubungaphakathi bakho. Le ndawo yindawo ekhululekileyo, akukho nto inyanzelekile kunoma ubani, abahlobo kunye nabahlobo baya kubabona njengokuba ubonakala kubo, kwaye iqabane le-intanethi libukeka lendalo. Enye into kukuba kufuneka kubekho oqilileyo obonisa ukuba intombazana, kunye namantombazana akudingeki afunge, kodwa akufanele ubeke ingqalelo kubantu abanjalo. Zizo kwaye ngqo kwi-Intanethi ungathumela ngokukhuselekileyo kwiincwadi ze-trizwlyh. Ukungaziwayo kudlala indima enkulu, ngamanye amaxesha indima ebalulekileyo. Xa ungafuni ukuphazamisa udumo lomfazi ohloniphekileyo ngokwenene, ungaqalisa inethiwekhi yentlalo kwinethiwekhi yentlalo, apho ulungiselela khona ieholide. Oku kuthethwa kakhulu, ngokuqinisekileyo, akunakwenzeka ukuba umntu uyonwabile xa bethetha amatshini, kodwa ke, xa ufanele uzibambe emsebenzini ngenxa yabasebenzi bakho, kwaye ngenxa yabantwana bakho, kufuneka uvumele umqhubi kwenye indawo. Oku ngasentla akuthethi ukuba ufuna ukuthetha amatshi apho uthanda khona, kwiindawo ezithile abavaliwe, ngenxa yoko banokuvinjelwa. Kodwa kwindawo ethile evunyelwe, evumela ukuba abathathi-nxaxheba bakhulume ngokukhululekile kwaye bangabinakunqandwa. Eyona nto iqhelekileyo ayikho kwiiforamu ezifanelekileyo, kodwa apho kukho unxibelelwano lomntu siqu, nokuba kukho amancinci amancinco engxoxo okanye intanethi.
Yintoni isiphelo kuzo zonke ezi ngasentla? Intombazana okanye ibhinqa inokufunga, akuvumelekanga, kodwa kungcono ukwenza oko ubuncinci, kungekhona abantu, kwaye ke xa "kuleso sifundo", kungabizwa ngokuthi "inkomo."