Ukungabikho koMama ka-Instinct
Ngesizathu esithile, kukho uluvo lokuba malunga neminyaka engama-20, elowo mabhinqa kufuneka avuke ngokukhawuleza isisiseko somntwana kwaye kufuneka ukuba abe nabantwana abaninzi. Kodwa eneneni, oku kuphosakeleyo. Kukho ininzi yabasetyhini abangathandi abantwana. Kodwa abaninzi bala majazana abakwazi ukuwamkela ngenxa yokwesaba uluvo loluntu. Kwaye oku kukhokelela ekubambeni ukuba abafazi sele baqala ukuzonda abantwana babo, okukhokelela ekuphuhlisweni kweengxaki kwizingane kunye nokuvela kweengxaki ze-psyche. Ngoko ke, ukuba unomuvo wokuthi awunayo isisitho somntwana, akukho nto inokuyingozi kuyo. Ngaphezu koko, kunokubonakala, kodwa kamva kamva. Umzimba wesisu awuzalwanga. Inokufumaneka ngokupheleleyo kwinkqubo yokukhula, umzekelo, ukuthetha nomntakwabo othandekayo. Kwaye nangona uqonda ukuba unokuthanda umntwana, kodwa kungekhona okwenu, ungesabi kwaye uzicabange njengesiqwenga esimhlophe. Ngokuchaseneyo, unomntu onyanisekileyo onokuvuma ukuba akuyona into efanelekileyo ngokuhambelana nemilinganiselo yentlalo kunye neemplates .
Iimfuno
Abasetyhini abaninzi abavalelwa umnqweno wokuba nabantwana, kuba ngaphambili babesenomsebenzi. Kwaye oku kuyimfihlakalo engaqhelekanga engaqhelekanga. Ngesizathu esithile, wonke umntu wagqiba ekubeni ngabafazi nabantwana kuphela banokubangela ulonwabo kubafazi. Enyanisweni, oku kuqinisekiswa kwintando-ntloko, engayixhaswa nantoni na. Amadoda nabasetyhini bafuna ngokufanayo, kwaye abafuni ukuba nabantwana. Kwakhona bobabini banokufisa ukwenza umsebenzi, kungekhona ukunika amandla abo kwintsapho. Ngoko ke, ukuba unomuvo wokuthi awufuni ukuba nabantwana ngokuchanekileyo ngenxa yomnqweno wokuba ngumntu obalulekileyo ngokwemisebenzi, ke akukho mfuneko ukuba ulahle iphupha lakho. Kungenzeka ukuba xa ufezekisa oko ufuna, uya kufuna ukuba nomntwana wakho. Ngendlela, abantu abaninzi banokubhengeza ukuba kusenokuba sekwephuzile kwaye njalo njalo, kodwa eqinisweni, iingxoxo ezinjalo azilungiswanga. Umfazi ophumelelayo unokuhlala efuna uncedo kwiingcali kunye nokubeletha umntwana ngaphandle kokuba neqabane. Ngoko akukho mfuneko yokwesaba iminqweno yakho yokwenyaniso. Khumbula ukuba xa ungenzi umsebenzi, uze ube ngumfazi wendlu, ulwalamano lwakho nentsapho yakho aluyi kuba yinto eqhelekileyo. Uya kubagxeka ngokushiywa ngaphandle kokuqonda iphupha lakho elikhulu.
Ukukhulelwa
Esinye isizathu sokuba ibhinqa ingafuni ukuba nomntwana kukuba uyazijonga njengento encinci. Yaye loo mvakalelo inokuba ngamashumi amabini, kwaye ifike kumashumi mabini anesihlanu, kwaye nangeminyaka engamashumi amathathu. Kule nto akukho nto inzima kwaye ingaphandle kwesiqhelo. Abantu abaninzi bafuna ukuhlala abantwana. Kwaye ukuba oko kungaguquki ngokupheleleyo, akukho namnye unokuthi wagwetyelwe oku kwaye ucinge ukuba umntu unesiphene. Ubushushu buvame ukubangelwa kukuba umntu akafuni ukuthatha uxanduva olukhulu. Ubomi, impilo kunye nokukhuliswa kwabantwana yinto enzima kakhulu into engayenza ngayo ebomini. Ngoko ke, ukuba uziva uyingane kwaye uyayiqonda ngokufanelekileyo ukuba awukwazi ukujamelana naloo mfanelo, ngoko kukuqala kakhulu ukuba ube nezingane. Inyaniso kukuba iintsapho ezinama-infanta zibuhlungu kakhulu. Abafazi abanjalo abazi ukuba benzani nomntwana wabo, bahlala befuna ukutshintsha uxanduva kumntu, bacatshukiswa, bathukuthele omnye umntwana, kunye nabo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba awufuni abantwana kuba usadinga ukugcinwa kunye nokukhathalela-oku kuqhelekileyo. Kwenzeka ngokuphindaphindiweyo ngala mabhinqa awakhulela ngaphandle kothando lukabawo kunye nokukhuliswa. Bakhangele uyise kumadoda asondeleyo kwaye ke angakhuli ngokwengqondo baze bafumane oko bakufunayo. Ngoko endaweni yokuzihlambalaza ngenxa yokuba ungafuni ukuba nabantwana, kungcono ukufumana umntu onokukunika i-tuffle kunye nokunyamezela okushiyekile ebuntwaneni. Mhlawumbi, emva kwexesha, iimvakalelo zakho ziya kutshintsha kwaye uya kuqonda ukuba uhlobo oluthile lomthando nothando lukulungele ukumnika omnye umntu.
Hlala wena
Umnqweno wokuziphilela ngenxa yezizathu ezithile kubangela ukuba abantu bangaboni kakuhle. Nangona eqinisweni, abo bagwebayo lobu buxoki, eqinisweni, baphupha ngento efanayo, kodwa ngenxa yeentsapho, abantwana kunye nokunye abanako ukuwufumana, banomona nomsindo. Ngendlela, umnqweno wokuziphilisa awuyi kuvela ekuqaleni. Kubonakala ukuba, kusukela ebuntwaneni uhlala njengabazali bakho abafisa: bafunde, baziphatha kakuhle, benza izinto ezifunwa yihlobo okanye zifuna. Kodwa ke kuza umzuzwana xa kuqala umntu omdala, apho kungekho mntu unelungelo kwaye akakwazi ukukhokelela. Kulo bomi abantu baqala ukwenza ngendlela yabo kwaye ekugqibeleni bachithe ixesha njengoko bafuna. Yaye ingcamango yokubeletha umntwana ngokukhawuleza ibangela ukwesaba - ndiya kuphinda ndikhokelwe. Abafazi abanjalo abafuni abantwana ngenxa yokuba abanakuze baphile ngokuthanda kwabo. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyayiqonda ukuba imeko yakho yile nto, akufanele ucinge ukuba unesiphene kwaye ukhathazeke. Kunoko, yenza oko ufuna: ukuhamba, ukuthetha nabahlobo, uye kwiiklabhu, ngokubanzi, yenza oko ufuna. Ndikholelwe, ngelinye ilanga ixesha liya kuza xa uya kuziva ukuba unelisekile ngobomi obunjalo. Kodwa nangona engazange afike, akufuneki ukuba uzinyanzele ukushiya ixesha lokungcebeleka oye walithanda. AbamaMama ababengenalo ixesha lokuziphilisa, ngokwenene, abahlali banovuyo. Kwaye kwenzeka njalo ukuba ngaphezu kweminyaka baqala ukugxeka abantwana babo ngokutshabalalisa ubomi babo nokuwayeka yonke into enokuthi bayayifumana.
Ukuba awufuni ukuba nabantwana, oku akuthethi ukuba ungowesifazane ongeqhelekanga okanye ongaqhelekanga. Umntu ngamnye unelungelo elipheleleyo lokubeka izinto eziphambili ebomini, kwaye ngamaxesha ahlukeneyo ahlukeneyo. Kungenzeka ukuba ixesha liza kufika xa ufuna umntwana. Kodwa nangona ungaziva, ungadikibala. Ngoko ke, unomnye umshimo ebomini, okubaluleke ngaphezu kokuzalwa kwabantwana.