Ngoko zivela phi le nkumbulo kwaye ziqala phi? Kwaye yonke into iqala ngengcamango encinci, into encinci, engayithobeliyo. Kodwa ekugqibeleni uyangena kulo, unobtrusively, kwaye iqala ukukhula, njengebhola leqhwa kunye nayo yonke imida kuyo, iya kuba ngakumbi, iqokelela iimvakalelo ezixhalabileyo, iimvakalelo kunye nokwesaba. Kodwa iinkumbulo zobundlobongela obudlulileyo zizodwa, zixhonywe kwimemori, kwaye ukulibala ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kakhulu. Ngokukodwa xa kuziwa ukuhlukana nomntu othandekayo. Kodwa eli xesha livivinye kunzima kumntu. Ngokutsho kweengcali ezininzi zeengqondo, abantu abafuni ukwahlukana, nokuba ngaba banalo ubudlelwane obubi kunabo bonke, kuba besaba ukubuyela ebuntwaneni. Kufana nokwaphula nabazali bakho ngokutsha.
Kwakhona kwenzeka ukuba ukwahlukana kuthatha ixesha elide ngenxa yezinto ezingenanto ezingenanto kunye nezithemba, ezivela kuyo kuphela. Kulo mzuzwana, ukuxhwala, ukudabuka nezinye iimvakalelo eziphazamisayo zihlanganiswa ngamandla abo bonke. Kwaye akukho nto kule nto ayibuyisanga, kwaye awufuni ukwenza nantoni na. Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho iimeko xa iingxaki ezingaphendulwanga zidala ingqiqo yoshishino elingapheliyo. Kule meko, kufuneka uxoxe nomntu owayengumthandi (umculi-mnandi) ngetoni yokuzola kunye kunye kunye nonke ulungiselele onke amanqaku phezu kwam olwalamano lwakho.
Kodwa ngaba ungayikhupha njani imemori yolwalamano oludlulileyo? Ngokuqhelekileyo izikhalazo ezifihliweyo entolongweni yeemvakalelo zabo, ixesha elide. Kodwa nangona ucinga ukuba umxhaphazi (umoni) uyathethelelwa (uxolelwe), intukuthelo inokubuya kwakhona ezinsukwini ezimbalwa okanye kwiinyanga. Kodwa njengoko ilizwi lihamba, liphilisa onke amanxeba, kubalulekile ukulinda. Umbuzo wodwa: kude kangakanani? Yaye impendulo kukuba: wonke umntu unendlela ezahlukeneyo. Omnye ulungele ukulibala yonke into emva kweveki, kwaye umntu uya kufuna iminyaka. Izigqibo ezikhoyo apha zixesha lobume kunye nohlobo lomntu. IXESHA ngenye yeendlela zokulibala ngobudlelwane obudlulileyo kunye nokulahla imemori kanye kunye.
Enye inketho kukubamba isenzo sokutshatyalaliswa. Umzekelo: thabatha ityebhile kwaye ukhululeke kwaye uyiphonsa, ucinge ukuba ngayo yonke imemori yexesha elidlulileyo. Okanye ukuba ukhanyise ikhandlela kwaye uyibheke, cinga ukuba, kunye kunye ne-wax inyibiliki, iimvakalelo ezidlulileyo zifihliwe. Umphumo omuhle umonakalo wezithombe eziqhelekileyo: ukuphuka, ukutshisa okanye ukuphosa nje kwi-urn.
Kukho elinye ithuba lokulibala ubudlelwane obudlulileyo. Simele sizame ukwenjenjalo ukuba akukho ndawo ikhumbuza umntu owayesithandayo. Okokuqala, ulahle izinto zakhe, bonke oonxibelelwano nabo kwifowuni nakukhomputer, iifoto, izipho. Zama ukuphepha iindawo zokuchitha ixesha eliqhelekileyo. Kwaye, ekuhlalutyweni kokugqibela, ukunciphisa umnxibelelwano nento yokwahlukana. Kwaye kungcono ukuba uthathe ixesha elithile ukuba wenze into. Kuya kuba kuhle ukwenza uhlobo oluthile lwemidlalo, njengoko ukuqeqeshwa ngokomzimba kukunceda ukukhulula ingqondo esele ilayishiwe kwaye uphucule umvakalelo. Ngaphezulu koko, ukubonakala okutsha kunye nabaqhelana nabo baqinisekisiwe ukuphazamisa kwiimbali ezidlulileyo.
Phakathi kweengqondo zengqondo kukho into enomdla kakhulu: ukusuka kuyo nayiphi na imikhwa emibi okanye ukuxhomekeka kuyo ungayilahla iintsuku ezingama-21! Nje ixesha elide njengoko liqinisekisa, ubuchopho kufuneka buyakhelwe kwakhona kwindlela entsha yokusebenza. Unokumnceda kule nto, ukuphepha iingcinga ezimbi ezifana nale: "Andiyidingi mntu (ndiyayifuna)," "akukho mntu uya kundithanda." Ngokuphambene noko, kubalulekile ukuba ucinge ngendlela enokubakho, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kukhangeleka njani. Yaye cinga nje ngale ndlela: "Ndiza kudibana nomntu othandekayo!". Emva kwakho konke, njengoko uyazi, iingcamango ziyakwazi ukwenza izinto, kwaye mhlawumbi, ngolona suku olulandelayo, ulonwabo luza kuwe. Kufuneka uvule kwaye ungaphuthelwa nayiphi na ithuba elitsha.
Kwimeko enobudlelwane obutsha, zama ukungahlambulisi yonke into, kwaye uhlale uzixabisa, kungenjalo oku kunokusongela ukhetho lwakho (okhethiweyo) kwaye ulahlekelwe yizo iimpawu ezintle awakhangayo. Kodwa, ngokomthetho, oku kusebenza kubafazi, ngenxa yobume babo. Kwaye okubaluleke kakhulu: akufanele uzisole ngexesha elidlulileyo, ungagxili ekucingeni ukuba nguyena mntu ndifuna ukuba ndiphile ubomi bam bonke. Uze uzilungiselele kwimbono yokuba yonke into isaphambili.
Umntu ngamnye unquma indlela yokulahla iimbali zakhe zobudlelwane obudlulileyo. Kuya kuba nomnqweno, kodwa isisombululo siya kufunyanwa ngaso sonke isikhathi. Kwaye akukho nto ikhethayo, into eyona nto kukuba uncede. Uze ukhumbule into enye: elidlulileyo likulo kunye nexesha elidlulileyo, ukushiya ngasemva, nokuba lilungile, kwaye ukuba libi, nangona kunjalo, phila okwangoku kwaye ukholwe kwikamva elikhanyayo!