Ngoko, kutheni amantombazana alahlekelwa ngumdla kumadoda? Kwimeko apho intombazana ibona intanda yakhe ebhedeni nomnye umfazi, uthando lwakhe alukwazi ukukhawuleza. Oku kufuna ixesha.
Ukuba umntu uyakrokreka ukuba into ephosakeleyo elubudlelwaneni babo nentombazana, ngoko kufanelekile ukucinga. Emva kwakho konke, u-intuitively uvakalelwa ukuhla kwe-index of interest. Ngaba kufuneka kule meko, zama ukuqonda ukuba zeziphi izinto ezixhalabisayo ezihambelana nazo? Emva kwakho konke, kungekhona kwindawo enye, ngokukhawuleza wayenemifanekiso yokuba intombazana yakho ilahlekelwa ngumdla kuwe.
Enyanisweni, umntu uqala ukuxhalaba xa ibhinqa liziphatha njengento engaqhelekanga. Ngokuqinisekileyo, umntu unokuziqinisekisa ukuba akukho nto eyenzekayo, kodwa kwinqanaba elinobuchule, uvakalelwa kukuba ubuthathaka beentombi zeentombazana. Ngokufanayo, ukuziphatha okungahambelani nentombazana kuthethwa ngokuchithwa kwayo kwenzalo kumntu.
Amantombazana alahlekelwa ngumdla kumadoda, anokuyeka ngokukhawuleza kukuncoma, okanye ngokukhawuleza la maantombazana ayeke ukuphendula amahlaya akho amnandi. Ngokukhawuleza intombazana enjalo iyayeka ukudibana neentlanganiso zakho nabahlobo bamandulo. Kodwa kungekudala wayenomona kuwe kubahlobo bakho. Emva koko umyinge wakhe wenqanaba lalingenqanaba eliphezulu. Cinga ngako, ngokuba intombi yakho ilahlekelwe ngumdla kuwe malunga ne-75%.
Emva koko kukho utshintsho olunjalo. Intombazana ngokukhawuleza iphelile ukuqala komntu, nangona kwangaphambili oko kwakungekho. Ngaphambili, wathatha ngobumnene ngesandla, ewela indlela, kwaye ngoku uyenjenjalo, kwaye unxusa. Ewe, kufuneka ukhathazeke, kuba inzala kuwe iye yawela kuma-55%.
Kwinqanaba elilandelayo, xa ipesenteji iyancipha ukuya kuma-50%, intombazana ikuphikisa kwaye uhlala ungavumelani. Intombazana yakho ngokukhawuleza iqala ukukhafulela ngamazwi okukhathazeka, ukuxabana kubakho rhoqo.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni inqaku lokungabuyi kubuyiselwa kwinqanaba le-45%. Nasi intombi yakho isisondele kuwe, kodwa ubuhlobo bakho bube sele sele budlulileyo. Intombazana ixabana nani ngokuphindaphindiweyo, ngaphezu koko, ukhumbula kwakhona indawo yakhe, ohlala kuyo kunye nokukhawulela. Intombazana izama ukukuchazela ukuba ayikho into efuna ukukubona, kodwa wena, njengendoda, uyithembele kuwe, cinga ukuba lawa ngamazwi nje. Kule meko, amadoda acinga ukuba yonke into iya kuba neendleko kwaye iya kuba, njengaphambili. Kodwa ngokwenene ugwetywa ukufa. Kwinqanaba lokugqibela lokulahlekelwa ngumdla kumntu, intombazana inokuthi ingayiqondi ukuba iphosa indoda yayo. Kodwa ngelo xesha wayebuthelele inzondo kunye nokukhathazeka okuninzi, mhlawumbi, kwikamva akayi kuba nombono wokubuyisela le ndoda. Le meko inokuhlala iinyanga eziliqela, mhlawumbi neminyaka, kodwa ekugqibeleni, ukwahlukana kusenakukhunjulwa.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni kuza isigaba sokugqibela-isigaba sokuphuka. Isivakalisi siya kwenziwa. Inzala yakho intombazana iwela ku-30%. Esi siphelo. Uye "wagxothwa" ixesha elide, kodwa okwangoku intombazana yakho ayifuni ukukubona emva kwayo. Intombazana yakho iqala ingxabano enkulu, ngenxa yoko intombazana yakho ikushiya, ilahlekelwa ngumdla kuwe ngonaphakade.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amantombazana alahlekelwa ngumdla kumadoda xa ecacisa kubo ngothando, kwaye ngokuphambene, xa belahlekelwa ngumdla, ngoko ke amadoda angabonakali. Inyaniso kukuba xa umntu ebonisa inzala kwintombazana, ngoko kwixesha iimvakalelo zingapholisa, kwaye xa umntu ngokukhawuleza eyeka ukuthanda intombazana, ngoko ngokuchasene nentombazana izama ukubuyisela le ndoda nayiphi na indlela. Akunanto nto ibinzana elinamaphiko: "Ngaphantsi kwintombazana esithandayo, ngakumbi simthanda." Intombazana ngumzingeli wokuqala. Yaye uyavuya xa indoda ilahlekelwa ngumdla kuye. Udinga ukuqinisekiswa okuqhubekayo kokunganaki kwakhe, kwaye ufuna ukwazi ukuba uyakuthanda wonke umntu ngaphandle kokungafani. Ngoko, ngokukhawuleza xa indoda ilahlekelwa ngumdla entombazana, uyifumana. Ukungakhathaleli kwakho kwenza le ntombazana incinci izame ukukubuyisela. Ukuba uzigcina ude ubude bentetho ekunxibelelana nentombazana, uya kuhlala esondele kuwe.
Ngamanye amaxesha amantombazana alahlekelwa ngumdla kumadoda ukuba aqonda ukuba oku akusilo uthando, ukuba umntu akayena mntu afuna ukumbona emva kwakhe ubomi. Akumangalisi ukuba umntu uthi "uthando" nangaphambi kokuba athande, kwaye umfazi uthe eli gama emva kokuba ethanda.
Ibhinqa ebudlelwaneni nomntu kufuneka isifunde ngokukhawuleza, ukuqonda zonke iintlobo zobudlelwane bakho. Ukuze ukholise yena, kufuneka uqinisekise ukuba nguwe kuphela owalindele kuyo yonke impilo yakhe. Menze izipho, mfunyanise, zama ukuba ngumhlobo wangempela kwaye uthathe inxaxheba kuzo zonke iingxaki zakhe. Mxelele ukuba ngaphandle kwakho akakwazi ukuhlala. Wena ungumntu oya kumnika uvuyo lwothando, ulonwabo, uvelwano kunye nokufudumala.
Ngokuqhelekileyo, amantombazana alahlekelwa ngumdla kumadoda ngexesha adidekile kuwo. Baye bacingisisa, banikele indoda yabo eyona nto ibhetele, eyona nto iyinyani, kwaye ngenxa yoko kuvela ukuba umntu unokungcatshiswa okanye aphuthe.
Ukuba umntu uyadumala intombazana, ngoko unokulahlekelwa ngumdla kubo bonke abantu ngokubanzi. Ezi ntombi ziyeke ukukholelwa kubo bonke abantu, zilahlekelwe ngumdla kumadoda kwaye zijolise kumsebenzi kunye nothando lwabathandekayo babo. Bazama ukwenza ngaphandle kwamadoda, musa ukuzivumela bona.
Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kwindoda yentombazana, obuncinane kanye ebudeni babo babephoxeka kwaye bafunda ukukhwabanisa kwindoda. Ngoko ke, nina madoda kufuneka niqaphele ngakumbi ngabathandekayo benu, ningayifaki imeko ngokugqithiseleyo. Ukuba ngokukhawuleza uwele ngothando, ungafihli uze uyifihle, kungcono ukuthetha yonke into ngokukhawuleza. Xa wenza njalo, zama ukuzisa intombazana yakho intlungu encinane. Emva kwakho konke, unako ukuhamba kakuhle, nangemva kokuhlala nje ngabahlobo. Yenza iqela elikhethekileyo uze uchazele intanda yakho ukuba awukwazi ukuqhubeka uhlala kunye, kuba iimvakalelo zakho ziye zacima. Emva kwakho konke, intombazana yakho, engenakuchukumisa kuwe, ingenza ube buhlungu kakhulu.