Thetha noyise womntwana
Ungaze ufanele ukwesaba ukuxelela umntu wakho oye walahleka. Ngokuqinisekileyo, impendulo ingahluka, kodwa nokuba yintoni enye, mhlawumbi, emva kokuthetha nomfana uya kuba sele uyayazi ukuba uza kujonga. Khumbula ukuba indoda ingadinga ixesha lokufumana oko kwenzeka. Ngako oko, musa ukukhawuleza uze ucaphuke. Ukuba loo mntu akazange abonise uvuyo okanye ayethuke, kufuneka uziqonde iimvakalelo zakhe. Ubomi bakhe buguquka ngokukhawuleza ngexesha elinye kwaye ufuna ixesha lokudibanisa nekhosi entsha yezinto. Ngoko ke, ukuba intombazana ingabonakali kakuhle ekuphenduleni amagama akho, musa ukumhlasela kwaye ungamxeleli uthando. Uthando kunye nokunyamekela kuphela izinto ezimbini. Makhe acinge ukuba ngaba ulungele ukuthwala uxanduva lobomi bomntu omtsha.
Ukuba umfana othe wathetha ngokukhawuleza ngokuchasene nokuzalwa komntwana, okokuqala, kufuneka uqale ucinge malunga nokuba ufanelekile ukudibanisa ubomi bakho nalo mntu. Kodwa kuphela ukuba ufuna ukuba nabantwana. Ukuba bobabini nibheke kwimeko efanayo, ngoko kuya kwenzeka, iqabane elijongene nokuphila lifanelekile kuwe.
Musa ukunyamekela ngombono womnye umntu
Ungaze ukhangele kwabanye kwaye wenze izigqibo kuxhomekeke kubani otshoyo. Khumbula ukuba oogogo kwiivenkile zeepaki zokuzonwabisa baya kuhlala befumana isizathu sokubamba, nokuba wena uya kuba ngumqondiso wabantu. Ngoko ke, ukuba ukhulelwe, ungaze ucinge ngombono woluntu kulo mbandela. Ingaba uneminyaka elishumi elinesibhozo okanye amashumi mathathu anesithandathu, ibhizinisi lakho kuphela. Ukuba uvakalelwa kukuba ulungele ukuzalwa komntwana kwanomncinci omncinci, ke akudingeki uqhube malunga noluntu loluntu oluya kukhwaza ngokuthi "ubomi buya kuphuka, akukho nto iya kuphunyezwa." Umntu ngamnye unenjongo kunye neminqweno yakhe. Mhlawumbi, nguwe okhetha kwimisebenzi kunye namaqela avuyayo ekukhulisweni kwabantwana. Ngako oko, ukuze uphulaphule ukuhleka emva kwakho kwaye uthuthuke kubo, phulaphula umntu onobubaluleke ngokwenene - ziphulaphule. Khumbula ukuba ngamnye uxanduva sinembopheleleko. Ngaphandle kokujongana nokuzibophezela kwabanye, ukufumana isisulu, ekunyameni komphefumlo womntu, wonke umntu uyazi ukuba nguye kuphela onokusola zonke iintlungu. Ngoko laphula ngokukhawuleza oko uvakalelwayo malunga nento eyenzekayo.
Ngaba kuwe?
Ukuba uyazi ukuba ulindele umntwana, okokuqala, phambi kokuba wenze zonke izigqibo, zibuze, ngaba uyazifuna? Abasetyhini abaninzi bayesaba ukucinga ngale nto, ngenxa yokuba abantwana bayintyatyambo yobomi, ulonwabo kubo bonke abamele phantsi kunye njalo njalo. Enyanisweni, yonke into ihluke ngokupheleleyo. Akuyena wonke umfazi osemncinci ulungele kwaye ufuna ukuba ngumama. Ewe, kukho, bonke abafazi ngokubanzi bafuna ukuba ngumama kunoma yiphi ubudala. Kwaye akukho nto iyingozi. Akuyena wonke umntu onikezelwa ngumdla wokufundisa umntwana wakhe. Abanye abafazi babona intsingiselo yobomi njengewayini ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ngaphambi kokuba unqume ukuzala, qonda ukuba uyayidinga. Nguwe, kungekhona umyeni (umfana), abazali, uluntu olugweba ukungabikho kwabantwana njalo njalo. Yaye ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awuyidingi lo mntwana kwaye akafuni ukubandakanya ekukhuliseni kwakhe konke, kodwa ngokuchaseneyo, xa ukhangele, uya kuziva ukuba ulahlekelwa yinto yonke oyifunayo ngokwenene nento ozama ngayo, ngoko akufanele ubelethe. Khumbula ukuba akukho nto iphosakeleyo ngento yokuba ibhinqa livuma ngokuqinisekileyo kunye nomntwana ngokungafuni ukuzala abantwana. Kubi nakakhulu xa ekhetha ukuthetha amanga, kwaye ngokukhawuleza uba ngumama omubi, enzondayo abantwana bakhe. Ngoko ungalokothi ubelethe umntwana kumntu. Okokuqala, kufuneka ukuba unqwenele kuwe. Ukuba oku kungenzeki, kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna umntwana kangakanani, uya kuqala ukucaphukiswa nobunamhlanje ngenxa yomntwana, kwaye ngenxa yothando lomyeni wakho osisigxina. Uya kuqonda ukuba wenza into engafanelekanga, uya kuthukuthela inambuzane uze uzame ukuzilungisa, kodwa endaweni yoko uya kuba netyala elingakumbi kumntwana kuzo zonke iingxaki zakho kunye neengxaki. Ngoko ke, ukuba uziva ukuba awufuni abantwana, akudingeki ukuba ushiye umntwana. Icawa iyakhala ngokukrakra kokukhipha isisu, kodwa ingacingi ukuba sinesono kakhulu ukugweba umntu ukuba aphile nembono yokuba unina akayithandi, ukuphuhlisa izakhiwo kunye nobushushu kwihlabathi lonke. Ngoko ke, yenza into enjalo ngesazela. Nangona akukho mntu uyakuqonda kwaye engakuxhasi, uthembeke kuwe, kwaye ke akufanele uhlupheke ubomi bakho ngenxa yokuba wenza oko umntu akufunayo, kungekhona wena.
Kuyafana kwimeko xa intombazana encinci, ngokuchaseneyo, ifuna ukuba nalo mntwana ngentliziyo yakhe yonke, nayo yonke intetho yakhe. Ukuba unesiko esinamandla esinomama, ke undikholelwe, uya kukwazi ukujamelana nale meko uze uthande umntwana wakho nangona xa wonke umntu ehlukana nawe. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukukhula yinto enhle kakhulu kwaye uyonwabile, ngoko uya kukwazi ukwenza nayiphi na umsebenzi kwaye awuyi kuzincwina ubunzima. Kule meko, awuyi kuyidinga na upapa, no-ugogo, no-muski. Uza kuhlala kwilizwe lakho elincinci kwaye unika omnye uvuyo namandla.
Ingxoxo nabazali
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ukhulelwe, qiniseka ukuthetha nabazali bakho. Ngokukodwa xa ungazi ukuba wenzeni. Akuyimfuneko ukwesaba, kuba ekugqibeleni, inyaniso iya kubonakala iphuma. Ngako oko, okulungileyo kakhulu ukuzityhaphaza kwaye ungakhathazeki ngokulindela nokungazi, kodwa ngokukhawuleza malunga nento yonke ukuxelela uyise nomama ukuba bazi njani ukuba zihambelana njani neemeko zangoku. Ewe, ukuba umama ozayo usemncinci, akunakwenzeka ukuba ukuphendula kwabazali bakhe kuya kuba nemihlali kakhulu. Kodwa akukho nto emangalisa ngayo, kuba umntwana ngamnye ufuna ubomi obuthembisa kwaye obonwabileyo kumntwana wakhe, kwaye umama oqala ukunciphisa amathuba athile okunokwenzeka. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, nayiphi na abazali abanothando, kungakhathaliseki ukuba banzima kangakanani, baya kuhlala beza kunceda umntwana wabo kwaye baya kuhlala bemxhasa. Ngoko ungesabi ukuxelela ukukhulelwa. Emva kokutshatyalaliswa kokuqala, umama wakho uya kucinga yonke into kwaye mhlawumbi anokukunceda wenze isigqibo esifanelekileyo. Ukuba ngaba abazali basabela ngokungathandekiyo, ukuya kuba baxoshe umntwana ngaphandle kwendlu, umama omncinane uyazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba akunakulungele ukunceda intsapho, kwaye unqume ukuba uyishiye umntwana, uya kuqaphela ukuba akafanele axhomekeke kuncedo, unokuthembela kuphela kuye. Ngokuyinene, ukukhala nokukhala, abazali bayaziphosa ngokunceda intombi yabo benze konke ukuze bamkholise, kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuthini isigqibo.