Ukuba umntu wayeka uthando, indlela aziphatha ngayo

Ukudala ubudlelwane abathanda ukulawula, siyazikholelwa ukuba akukho ndawo yokungcatsha, ukungavumelani nokuhlukana, ukuba uthando lwethu, naphezu kweenombolo ezidabukisayo zomtshato kunye nolwazi olunzima lwabanye, oluya kumela uvavanyo lobomi kunye nexesha. Kodwa kudlule iminyaka, kunye nabo, njengoko kungenakubuhlungu ukuvuma, nothando. Uthando luhlala iminyaka emithathu ... Eli binzana lafakwa emlonyeni weqhawe lomdlalo wakhe, uFrederic Begbeder, kwaye wahamba ngeenxa zonke emhlabeni, efumana iimpendulo ezicacileyo ezintliziyweni zabathandi.

Kwaye nangona inqaku liphela kwikota elithembekileyo kunye nokholo oluthandweni olude oluthandwayo, siyaqhubeka sizama le ngcamango ebuhlotsheni bethu, sibalwa ngeminwe ubuninzi beminyaka yethu uthando. Amadoda awanamva, kwaye iintlobo ezinjalo zeengcamango ziphukile malunga ne-pragmatism yazo. Kuzo zonke zilula: "Ewe, uyathandwa! Kwaye ke konke! Andiyithandi nto. " Singabantu izidalwa eziyinkimbinkimbi, kwaye sifuna ukuqonda ubunjani beengcinga ezibonakalayo zesintu. Kutheni uyeke ukuthanda? Yiziphi iimpawu onokuzibona ukuba wawela ngothando? Kwaye kunokwenzeka ukubamba ezi ntsimbi zokuqala, ezifanekisela ukufa kothando?

Iimpawu zikhwaza ukuba indoda yabe isithanda

Amadoda nabo bantu begazi neenyama, ukusuka kuma-hormone kunye neengqondo. Yaye kubo, kuyinto engokwemvelo ukuba uguquko lwengxeshana, ukuthukuthela okanye i-detachment. Kodwa ukuba lo mgca wokuziphatha uhlala ixesha elide, kwaye ixesha libi kakhulu, lixesha lokulila i-alamu. Ezi zilandelayo zibonakalisa ukuba indoda iwele ngaphandle kothando:

1. Amanga. Intsimbi yokuqala - indoda iqala ukulala. Mhlawumbi kuqala yena ngokwakhe akakuboni. Akafuni nje ukulimaza inyaniso, evuthayo ngaphakathi. Akasayiva ukuba uvuyo olulindeleke kulonwabo, ukubuyela ekhaya, kunye nombuzo othi: "Ngaba uyabhuqa?" Unika owomileyo "Ewe." Kwaye nangona athi "ndiyamthanda", wenza umgudu, ngenxa yokuba yena wangena emkhatsini wamanga, kwaye engakalungiseleli inyaniso.
2. Ukungabi nonyango. Ikhofi ekuseni ulungisa nje, ebhekiselele ekulibazisekeni, nangona wayehlala ekhupha ngqo embhedeni, okanye eshiywe etafileni ngesanti. Okanye waqala ukuzivumela ngokuphindaphindiweyo ukuba angabi ncothule ubusuku, azilungele ngokuzimelela, ekuboneni okokuqala, izizathu: ukhathala, ugula, kufika emva kwexesha.
3. Ukutshatyalaliswa ngaphezu kwezinto. Yayiqala ngokungahambisani kwaye iyicaphukisa into ayengayiboni ngaphambili, okanye yayiqwalasela into ebalulekileyo. "Uncokola kakhulu kwaye uxhoma kwifowuni ixesha elide!", "Ukugqoka ngokungenasiphelo!", "Ngobusuku uhlakaze yonke ibhedi uze uthathe ingubo!", Njll.
4. Ukubonakaliswa kokungakhathaleli. Indoda eyeka ukunomdla kwiingxaki zeentsapho, iimfuno neemvakalelo zowesifazane. Ukhetha ukuchitha ixesha lakhe lokukhululeka kude nekhaya, wenqaba ukuya kwiintlanganiso zeentsapho kwaye uya kwiintlanganiso kunye nabahlobo abaqhelekileyo.
5. Ukungathobeli nokuthotywa. Le ndoda isebenzisa ama-scandal ukulimaza indawo eyona nto ibuhlungu kakhulu, mhlawumbi, yayazi kuphela. Uhlazisa ihlazo kwaye akafumani amagama kunye nabantwana, abasondeleyo okanye abangabaziyo.
6. Valiwe. Ingxoxo ezifihlakeleyo, iingxoxo zeengxaki kunye nezigqibo ezithathwe ngokubambisana zidlulileyo. Le ndoda isengqondweni yakhe. Yena okanye ngokuqhelekileyo uyathula, engabandakanyi umsebenzi wakhe wokuzisa ngesiganeko esibalulekileyo, okanye echazwe ngenene.
7. Ukungahoyi ngesondo. Ukwenza uthando lube "yinkqubo yobugcisa", eyancitshiswa ekusebenzeni komtshato, okanye umntu uhlaselwa "isifo" sesibongo esithi "intloko". Uyakugwema ukumbambana, ukukhupha, ukuwanga, ukungaziboni naluphi na ukubonakaliswa kobubele kunye nothando.
8. Ulwaphulo olungalawulekiyo. Ukuhlaselwa kwakhe komsindo kuba yinto evamile kwaye ikhule ibe yintlanzi. Uhlala elahlekelwa ngumsindo ngenxa yesizathu esicacileyo, ngezinye izihlandlo ezingenasiphelo, igama okanye ukububula. Ukujonga emehlweni agcwele umsindo, kukho ukwesaba ubomi kunye nempilo.

Kutheni uyeke ukuthanda?

Imiqondiso engentla, ibonakaliswe kumntu oye wangena emthandweni, kuphela umphumo wesithandwa. Xa sichazile, kunokwenzeka ukulwa nemibonakalo ekhokelela ekugqibeleni uthando okanye intsapho. Ewe, kubudlelwane bomntu ngamnye kubalulekile ukubeka "ukuxilongwa" komntu othandekayo, kodwa kukho izizathu ezine ezibalulekileyo ezikhokelela kulo:

1. Uthando olutsha. Iqulethe iinjongo eziphambili zendlela yokuziphatha engabonakaliyo yindoda ethandekayo. Mhlawumbi, ebubudlelwaneni bakhe bokuqala, ubanjwe ngabantwana, izibophelelo, isazela, kwaye akanakulingisa ukuthatha inyathelo elinqabileyo, kodwa uyaphumelela ekufihla iimvakalelo zinyani.
2. Umkhwa. Izibini eziye zadibana ndawonye iminyaka emininzi, uthando luye lwaphela, iimvakalelo zipholile, kunye nentukuthelo egciniweyo kwimpikiswano, ukuxabana, ukunyanzelwa, izibhengezo zendoda zifuna ukuphuma kwaye ayiyikuzikhusela ukukhuseleka kwabasetyhini.
3. Ukuzithemba okuphantsi komfazi. Umfazi othi, esibingelelweni sothando, uzibeka ngokwazisa, ubufazi kunye nexabiso lakhe, kungekudala okanye kamva kungabi mnandi kumntu. Ufuna ukumncedisa, uziqhenye kwaye uzive ngamehlo enkanuko ngabanye.
4. Imvume kunye nokufikeleleka. Indoda-ngumzingeli ngokwemvelo, iyavutha ngumfazi obesele anqotshwa, uhlala eqikelelwe kwaye akanqweneli ukudukisa, ukunyusa, ukuvusa. Uyeke ukuziva efana nendoda yinyani, okanye ehamba efuna enye ayifunayo kwaye ufuna "ukuzingela."