Intsapho intsha isoloko inendima enkulu, yinto yokuqala yesiganeko esitsha, esihle, utshintsho olukhulu ebomini bobabini abalingani. Kodwa kwintsapho nganye kukho iingxaki kunye neengxabano, kuba ukusebenzisana kwabantu kubanzi kakhulu, kwaye ingxabano ngokwamaxesha ngamanye ine-character of detente, esinikwa ngayo ubudlelwane bosapho. Iinqununu: "Izizathu zengqondo zengxabano kwintsapho eselula" ziya kukuxelela malunga neengxube ezinxulumene nolwalamano olusandul 'intsha yoluntu ngenjongo yokuziphepha kwixesha elizayo.
Ngokwenene, iimbambano ziyakwazi ukuvuleka (ukuthetha, ukukhala, ukuxabana), kunye nokuvalwa (ukungahoywa, ukuthukuthela, ukuthula). Injongo yeengxabano ngokuqhelekileyo unomnqweno wokufezekisa iminqweno yabo, ziqinisekise, ziyanelisa izifiso zabo zengqondo, njl njl. Impikiswano engqubuzanayo idla ngokubambisana, iingxabano, izikhalazo ... Ifom, imbonakalo kunye nezizathu zento nganye zingahluka. Kule nqaku, iinjongo eziphambili zengqondo zengxabano kwiintsapho ezincinci ziya kuthiwa.
Ngokubanzi, kunokwenzeka ukujonga iingcambu zabo kunye nezidingo zabantu ezisisiseko, ezivela kuyo. Ezi zibandakanya: ubulili, ukutya, ukunxibelelana ... Iingxabano ziya kwenzeka xa kukho isongelo sokweneliseka komnye wabo.
Ukususela kwesi sigqibo: iingxabano ziya kuvela xa ubunzima beqala okanye kukho ingozi yokunganeliseki yiminqweno kunye nokulindela. Kwintsapho kukho ixesha elithile "leengxaki", xa ubudlelwane buba nzima, kwaye ingozi yokuxabana iyanda.
Eyokuqala kwezi ziza kuba sisigaba sokuqala sobudlelwane, xa i-"I" ingcamango iyaphuka, kwaye "thina" sivela kwingqondo yesi sibini. Eli lixesha lokulungelelanisa, esi sibini sifunde ukuhlala kunye, uthando kunye nothando luyabhubha, kwaye endaweni yabo kuza ubomi bemihla ngemihla, indlela eyahlukeneyo yobomi, nganye iyazibonakalisa kolunye uhlangothi, iyayibonisa ukuba iyinyani. Ixesha lokuqala lolwalamano lwentsapho lunzima, umngcipheko wokuqhawula umtshato uphakamileyo.
Ixesha lesibini linxulumene nokuzalwa komntwana. Kukho iingxaki ezinxulumene nokunyuka kokuziphatha nokuziphathekayo, apho iimbono ezihlukeneyo kunye nezikhundla zobomi zidibana nazo.
Ixesha lesithathu "liphakathi" lomtshato. Abalingani baphinde baqwalasele ubomi babo, beqaphela kuyo ubomi obungakumbi bemihla ngemihla, ngokuqhelekileyo kunye nobumhlophe, kukho "ukudluliselwa kwesantya" komnye nomnye.
Izimbangela zeengxabano kwizigaba ezahlukeneyo zingaba ukungalingani ngokwezesondo ngokwasemzimbeni kwabalingani, ukungakwazi ukuveza izimvo zabo nokubonelela ngolwazi malunga neemfuno zabo zengqondo kumlingane.
Isona sizathu seengxabano singenelisekile ekunxibelelaneni, ukukhathazeka, ukuncedwa, ukuxhasa, ukungahloneli iimvakalelo zenye yeqabane, ukunyanzelisa "I".
Umzekelo: Enye yezizathu zokungquzulana kwintsapho encinci kunokunxila komnye wabo. Kule meko, iqabane elixhaphaza utywala, liphula imigangatho karhulumente, ayilahlekanga kuphela impilo yakhe, kodwa ikwahlukana nakwezinye ihlabathi, kubandakanywa nomtshato. Ingxabano ibangelwa kukuba omnye wabafazi abaxilisayo ukuba banelise iimfuno zabo kuphela, bebonisa ukungabikho kwengqondo epheleleyo yesibini kunye nokunyaniseka iimvakalelo neemfuno zakhe.
Ingxabano ingavela kwizizathu zokungahambelani kwamasiko kunye nezithethe zendoda ngamnye yomtshato, ukungabikho kohlahlo lwabiwo-mali, kwaye, ngenxa nje, ngenxa yeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo zokuzonwabisa.
Ukwazi izizathu zengxabano, sinokuzifumana iindlela zokunciphisa umngcipheko wokuvela kwazo, ukuthintela nokunciphisa. Ukuze udale iimbambano ezimbalwa kwintsapho, umntu kufuneka afunde ukuthetha, ngokuba iqabane elifanelekileyo liyikhono elihle: kufuneka usebenze ngokwakho, unqobe u-egocentrism, ugxile kwiinqwenelo zomnye umntu. Emva kwakho konke, umtshato ubumbano lwabantu ababini abaye bahlala bephela, apho kufanelekile ukulibala malunga nendlela yokuzinyamekela kunye neminqweno yomntu. Khumbula ukuba iqabane lakho lifuna wena, ngenkxaso yakho, ingqalelo kunye nothando.
Ukuthembela komnye nomnye kuzo zonke izinto, kuncinci kubalulekile ukunciphisa umona. Musa ukulibala ukuba ukuba umyeni ukhethe - sele ithetha ukuba nguwe kuphela kwaye uyathandwa kuye, ukuba nguwe, kungekhona abanye, wayemthanda, kunye nomtshato - oku kungqina. Musa ukungaqiniseki ngokwakho kunye nomtsalane wakho, kuba ukuzithemba okanye ukuzithemba ukuzithemba kukwabangela imbambano, zombini kunye kunye nawe.
Zihloniphe wena kunye neqabane lakho, unomdla kuye kunye nezenzo zakhe zokuzilibazisa, umbulele iimpumelelo zakhe, umdumise kwaye ubeke izinto ezibalulekileyo kuye. Yenza umangaliso, uchithe ixesha elide kunye kunye-ubomi bentsapho buyakunceda uvuyo oluninzi kunye nexhala, ungayithathi imfutho kwaye uyamkhathaza. Kukho rhoqo iindlela ezininzi zokuluhlukana nokuqinisa ubudlelwane bakho.
Jonga ngokwakho kunye nophuhliso lwakho, ungazigijimi, gcina iso lakho kwimeko. Yiba nenkathalo kunye nomyeni wakhe, kodwa bonisa nje ukuba uyamdinga, kuba uyona mhle kuwe.
Kodwa ukuba zonke iingxabano ezifanayo zenzeka, kufuneka ukwazi ukuzisombulula. Nantsi into ephambili ayikuthintela abantu abangaziwa, ukuvuleka nokunyaniseka, ukuthetha kuphela oko ucinga nokuziva. Musa ukufihla ulwazi, soyika ukuthetha into ephambili, yenza okunye abantu abacebisa, kuba nguwe kuphela okufuneka wenze izigqibo kwimicimbi yakho.
Ingxabano iyona isombululo esiphezulu ngethuba le nxaxheba apho ngamnye umntu athatha inxaxheba ukuzama ukuqonda, ncedane kunye nokufumana ingcamango. Musa ukugxila kuphela kwimbono yakho. Ukuba unesiqiniseko sokuthi kuphela isikhundla sakho siya kuba sisisombululo kule meko, ngokuchanekileyo kwaye, ngokubalulekayo, ukuchaza ngokucacileyo isizathu sokuba ucinge njalo, kwaye kutheni ukuba ngamnye ufune le sigqibo, endaweni yokumemeza kwaye ugxininise uluvo lwakho , ngesizathu, kuba "ndifuna."
Ekugqibeleni, kubalulekile ukuba sikhumbule ukuba zonke iingxabano zixazululwa, kwaye ukubonakala kwazo akufanele ukwesaba. Ababonisi ukuba umanyano wakho uyawa, okanye ukuba awuhambisani. Kodwa ke, iindidi zifuna ukwazi ukuba zeziphi iingxaki zengqondo zengxabano kwiintsapho eziselula. Ingquzulwano ngamanani okanye ngaphantsi kwenani labo liyimpawu kuzo zonke iintsapho, into ephambili, ukufunda ukuhlangabezana nazo. Khumbula ukuba intlalontle yentsapho yakho incike kuphela kuwe.