Xa intombazana ithi kumntu othandekayo ukuba isitampu epasipoti yakhe ayibalulekanga kuye, uqhinga ukuze angayesabi loo mfana. Ekujuleni komphefumlo wakhe iphupha lomkhonto kaMendelssohn kunye neengubo ezimhlophe zeqhwa. Kodwa kukho amadoda avuma ukudibana, kodwa abacwangcanga intsapho. Ungayibona njani loo ndoda, ukuze ingabi nkunkuma ngexesha elixabisekileyo kulo mzekelo?
Imiqondiso elishumi awayi kutshata naye
1. Indoda ayifuni ukutshata
Uhlala elala. Oku kunyanisa iimvakalelo xa, ekuqaleni, umntu omncinane ubhala imiyalezo eyishumi ye-SMS ngobusuku, aze apheleke iintsuku ezimbalwa. Uyinkosi yothando yinyaniso. Kodwa ukuba umntu unezicwangciso ezinzulu kuwe, akayi kukudonsa kule midlalo. Akayidingi ukuphazamisa imizwa yakho kwaye uphakamise ukulinganiswa kwakho emehlweni akho ukuba uye waba ngumntu osondeleyo kuye, omele ucinge ngekamva.
2. Akathethi kakuhle ngamantombazana angaphambili
Ukuba uya kukhumbula ubudlelwane bakho obudlulileyo, ngoko kwi-nganye yangaphambili unokufumana ezinye izinto ezilungileyo. Kutheni umhlobo wakho enemeko eyahlukileyo? Kwaye kutheni onke amantombazana akhe ayengumntombazana "engenangqondo", "isisiphukuphuku" kwaye "sidenge"? Kungenzeka ukuba emva kwexesha kunye nakwidilesi yakho izakuva iindwendwe ezifanayo.
3. Utshela ngokungahambi kakuhle ngabahlobo abatshatileyo Umntu oza kudala uluntu kwixesha elizayo akayi kuthetha loo magama athi umfazi womhlobo "uhleli entanyeni yakhe". Akayi kuthi umhlobo wakhe ulahlekelwe yinkululeko. Emva koko, ukuba uthetha ngabahlobo bakhe, uvakalisa izimvo zakhe ngomtshato nakwintsapho. Ufuna ukudala intsapho yakhe, uya kuthetha ngeentlobo ezahlukeneyo ezinomdla kubini, ukhangele ifilimu edibeneyo xa ungafuni ukuya khona naphi na, kuba uhamba naye uhlala naye.
4. Akaqali ukuthetha ngabantwana kunye nomtshato.
Ngokukhawuleza xa uqala ukuthetha ngalezi zihloko, ujika ngokukhawuleza ukuthetha malunga neqela elizayo kunye nemoto yakhe. Kuhle ukuba akakhohlisi xa exoxa ngezihloko ezingathandekiyo kwaye enze njengephupha lomtshato wesiganeko. Kodwa enye imbi, le ndoda ayilungele ukutshata. Akayi kuhlakulela ubudlelwane kwaye akasekwe ukudala intsapho.
5. Ihlehlise ukulwa nabahlobo kunye nentsapho yakhe ngonaphakade
Kulo mbandela, akufanele ubeke ingcinezelo kumntu. Kodwa ukuba uhlangane kunye neenyanga kwaye ungayazi abazali bakhe, kunengqiqo ukucinga, mhlawumbi isimo sakhe sengqondo asinalo. Ukuba umntu uya kudala intsapho, uya kuziphakamisa ngokukratshi ngokusingqongileyo, kwaye akayi kulindela isikhumbuzo kuwe.
6. Uzalisa amantombazana ahlukeneyo phambi kwakho
Akumangalisi ukuba le ntombazana ingumhlobo wakho osondeleyo. Uqhelana nomthengisi omhle kwivenkile, ufikile ukuthenga ingubo entsha kunye nobuhle obungavamile. Izizathu zokuziphatha kakubi zingaba zimbini. Okanye ozithandayo nguDan Juan ngokwemvelo okanye nje ayixabisi ubuhlobo bakho. Ukuba uthe unguDon Juan, lo mgangatho awuyi kulungiswa ngumtshato. Kufanelekile ukucinga ukuba ufuna umntu onjalo?
7. Akakhweleli nonke
Ubukhwele obugqithisileyo bubangela iingxaki ezinzulu kulwalamano. Inokubaluleka kumanani amancinci, kuba yenza ulwalamano lwakho lucacile kwaye lubonise ukubaluleka nokubaluleka kwonyulwe. Ukuba akukho nakubonakaliso bokuba nomona, akayikuxabisa.
8. Ebudlelwaneni obusondeleyo, ufuna ukukhawuleza ukufumana okufunwayo
Ukuba umntu ubona kuwe umfazi wesikhathi esizayo, akayi kuzinzela kwaye akhusele ukuba awuqinisekanga kwaye akalungele. Nguyena kuphela umfana onomdla kwicala lobudlelwane oya kuqala ukujonga iindlela ezahlukeneyo ukuze uvumelane nayo.
Ulwalamano lwakho luhlala ixesha elide. Ngoko ke amadoda ahlelwe, ukuba ubudlelwane babo buhlala iminyaka engaphezu kweminyaka emithathu, kuyacaca ukuba kutheni kufuneka ahambe kwiofisi ye-registry. Oku kusebenza kumtshato womtshato, kuya kuba nelithuba elingaphantsi lokuhamba phantsi kwesithsaba.
10. Uthi akayi kutshata.
Ukuba iqabane lakho litsho ukuba akayi kutshata, ngaba unesizathu sokuba ungamthembi? Ndiyathanda ukuba la mazwi ayengangqangi, kodwa wayesoloko ephupha yintsapho, abantwana, kodwa kulo mzekelo isoka lakho aliyi kutshata kwaye ezi ngcamango ziya kuba ngcamango.
Ukuba kulolu luhlu ufumene iimpawu ezininzi kwiintsebenzo zakho kwaye awunelisekanga nje ngentlanganiso, mhlawumbi kufuneka ukhangele enye indoda entliziyweni yakho nasesandleni sakho?