Sekude kuphawulwe ukuba abameli bezesondo ezinamandla, bebandayo kwaye banqande ubunzulu, bathande umdla wabesifazane ngaphezu kwamadoda abonisa ngokucacileyo iimvakalelo zabo. Amadoda alolu hlobo agcina abafazi kumgama othile, ithenda kunye neentetho zinyamekile kubo. Kuyafana nokuncoma. Bathembele kwingcamango yabo kwaye ngoko ke abazange bavumelane ngokungalunganga kwabo. Oku kulandela ukuba uxolo lwabantu balolu hlobo lulunqabile kakhulu. Ukuba zonke iinkcukacha ezingentla zivela kwiqabane lakho, ngoko ungathetha ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba unomntu obandayo.
Ngaba kuya kuba nomonde okwaneleyo?
Lo ngumbuzo oyintloko, apho intombazana kufuneka iphendule, ngubani okhethile ummeli wesilisa obandayo. Enyanisweni, le netak ibonakala nje.
Emva koko, yonke intombazana idinga isiqingatha sesibini ukuba sikhumbule kuye ukuba uyithandwa kangakanani, malunga nokuba kukuhle kangakanani ukuhamba. Ukuva ukuthanda uthando ngokwesini kubaluleke kakhulu. Kodwa, ukhethe uhlobo olunjengomntu, oluluntu olubandayo, kufuneka uvume ukuba awuyi kuvakala konke oku. Ufuna nje ukuzithemba kwiimvakalelo zakho, kuba ngamazwi aya kuqinisekiswa kaninzi.
Kwaye emva kwexesha, akukho nto iya kutshintsha. Ngako oko, kukho imimandla emibini, okanye ukuba ibe yindoda enjalo kwaye uyithathe njengenjalo, okanye kungenjalo. Ukuba ukhethe ukhetho lokuqala, siya kukunika iingcebiso malunga nokuba ungaphila umntu oyindoda.
Thatha umntu ngokuba ngubani
Le yiluleko eluncedo kakhulu kunoma luphi ubudlelwane, kodwa kulo mzekelo, ngakumbi. Musa ukuzama "ukubuyisela" othandekayo. Emva kwakho konke, kunjalo njengoko kunjalo, kwaye kunjalo nje ukuba wathandana nayo. Kwaye kwathi oko kwenzeka ukuba nguwe onokukhathazeka kunye nemvakalelo kwindoda yakho, yenza ngobulumko ngakumbi. Nika umtsalane wakho othandekayo nothando, kwaye mhlawumbi, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, indoda yakho iya kufunda indlela yokubonisa ukukhathazeka kwayo. Kodwa ukunyeliswa okubandezelekayo kunye ne-swami kukuba awunayo ingqalelo kwaye unamagama amnandi, kuphela okuya kukhulisa ubuhlobo bakho kwaye akuyi kubakho nantoni na.
Funda ukuveza iimvakalelo ngomzekelo wakho
Kunzima indoda ukuba ihlaziye kwaye iqonde izenzo ezahlukeneyo zowesifazane. Oku kungenxa yokuba sinokucinga ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye akuyinto engokwemvelo ukuba umntu aveze iimvakalelo ngendlela ayenziwa ngumfazi. Kule meko, kubalulekile ukubonisa ngomzekelo wakho ukuba uziphathe njani kwimeko okanye kwenye.
Masinike umzekelo. Wena, uvela emsebenzini, isikhalazo malunga nobomi bakho besiqingatha. Kwaye emva kwamaphephancwadi amaninzi kunye nemvakalelo ufumana ukusabela okumileyo. Ngelo xesha ufuna ukuchaza into ofuna ukuyiva xa uphendula le meko. Mhlawumbi unqwenela ukuba nomfesane, uvumelwane, okanye ufunekile ukukhathazeka. Okanye umzekelo, ufika ekhaya uze uthethe ukuba uphoswe kangakanani, kwaye akukho mpendulo. Apha umele uqonde ukuba ungathanda ukuthini ukuva. Nokuba ukuba "nam", oko sele sele kunene. Kufuneka kucaciswe ukuba ukutshatyalaliswa okuncinci kwezi ngxoxo kuya kukuvuyisa uvuyo olukhulu. Ngoko, makube yimfesane, kodwa indoda yakho ngoncedo lwakho, ngokuphendula izikhalazo zakho ziya kuqala ukukubonisa ububele kunye nokukhupha, inamazwi omthandayo wokuphindaphinda. Ukuba uthatha lo mbuzo ngokukrakra, kamva, kwisiqingatha sakho, le fom yoqhagamshelwano iya kuba yinto evamile.
Memezela utshintsho kwiindlela zokuziphatha kwesiqingatha sokuba ngcono
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukukhuthaza yonke inguqu ebonakalayo kwizenzo zeziqithi. Umzekelo, ukukhanga kwakho okuthandayo, ukushiya indlu. Qiniseka ukuba ubiza indleko, indlela oyithandayo ngayo nendlela enkulu ngayo. Indoda kufuneka icacise ukuba le nto iyingqungquthela, engabizi nto kuye, kwaye ibuye ikunike unonwabo olukhulu.
Musa ukucwangcisa okulindelekileyo
Musa ukulinda kakhulu. Ewe, ezinye izinto ezinokubangela unomonde wakho unokulungiswa. Kodwa ungazichukumisi. Umntu wakho unjalo, yintoni imvelo eyenziwe ngokwemvelo, intsingiselo yomntu ayikwazi ukutshintshwa. Ngako oko, vuyiswa kwezinye izinto ezintle kwiindlela zokuziphatha komntu, ezinye iindawo zokufudumala kwe-Ilaski. Kodwa, nangayiphi na imeko, yamkela umthandayo wakho. Ndixelele, amazwi amnandi kangaka kubaluleke kangaka? Okanye zonke izinto ezibalulekileyo ezingezona zinyani, kungekhona amagama.
Isibheno kwi-psychoanalyst
Ehlabathini lanamhlanje, ukutyelela kwengcali yeengqondo kuyindlela eyaziwayo kwaye inomsebenzi. Kule meko, ngaba ingcambu yokuziphatha okubandayo kubangelwa kwimfundo, okanye kwisakhiwo sobuntu, kodwa kwiingqondo ezidlulileyo ezingaphumeleli? Kule meko, kuphela isazi sezengqondo siya kunceda ukulungisa yonke into.