Ndimele ndithi kuphela kwintlalo yaseYurophu, ubudlelwane bezesondo buyinto enxulumene nayo. Kwezinye iintlanga zaseAfrika, abantu abadala abaphambuki nokufihla izenzo zozesondo kubantwana. Nangona umama nobaba bezinikele kwizinto eziphathekayo ngokwesondo kunye nentlalo yesantya, abantwana babo bangayibukela inkqubo. Ngoko ukuthetha, ukufunda ubomi kuyo yonke imbonakalo yayo ...
Kodwa siphila kuluntu oluphucukileyo. Ngoko ke, ingxoxo yokuphila obusondeleyo kufuneka iphuculwe. Iingcali zengqondo zicebisa ukuba ziqwalasele iingqalelo ezibini ezibalulekileyo. Okokuqala, khumbula ukuba ukuthetha ngesondo akukhawulelwanga ekuchazeni ubugcisa besondo. Ukwabelana ngesondo - ngaphezu kwakho konke, ubudlelwane phakathi kwesondo, ukukhangwa kwamadoda nabasetyhini, uthando. Njengomthetho, oku kukuthandayo abantwana ngaphambi kokukhula. Okwesibini, nayiphi na "imfundo" kufuneka ihambelane neminyaka yomntwana. Yintoni enokuthi ixelelwe kwintsha-mntwana ayinakwenzeka ukuba ifanele umntwana okhuselekileyo. Ngoko zama ukukhetha "ifomathi" efanelekileyo yencoko.
INGXELO ENGEKHONA KWIINKCUKACHA
Isiseko sobudlelwane bezocansi, abantwana baqala ukuqonda xa beselula. Umntwana omncinci kwiminyaka eyi-1,5-2 enomdla ngomzimba wakhe kwaye kubalulekile ukuba athathe ngokupheleleyo. Ngoko ungazivumeli ukuba uzihlaziye izibopho zomzimba zomntwana, ukucaca ukuba le ndawo iyingozi kwaye ayibi, ukuba akunakuchukumisa ukuthintela nangona kwindlela yokucoceka. Umntwana akufanele abe neentloni "ngesixhobo" sakhe!
Ukuzama ukuhlola umzimba wakho umntwana akushiyi kwaye kwiminyaka engama-2-3. Yaye wenza ngenkuthalo ngakumbi kunaphambili, ngokuthelekisa yena nabazali bakhe, amakhwenkwe namantombazana. Abantwana abaninzi kulo nyaka bajongana noontanga babo kwintsapho yasekhaya yangasese. Ngendlela, izazi zengqondo zicinga ukuba lo mkhuba awuyikuguquka, kodwa yinto enomdla kuphela. Kodwa ke, kungcono ukuba ungenise oku ngaphambili, kodwa uthenge incwadi kunye nemidwebo yamadoda nabafazi abazimeleyo (incwadi kufuneka ihambelane neminyaka yomntwana!). Ngaphandle kokungena kwiinkcukacha ezininzi, chaza umehluko kwisakhiwo sezitho zobulili. Inokwenzeka ukuba, le nkwenkwe iya kuqaphela ukuba umalume wakhe "mkhulu" kwaye unento encinci, kwaye intombazana iya kubuza ukuba kutheni umama wakhe enesifuba, kodwa akayi. Khulisa umntwana, uthi kufanele ukuba kunjalo - umzimba wakhe uya kuba "njengomntu omdala".
Ukongeza kwimiba ye-anatomical, umntwana oneminyaka emithathu unomdla kakhulu kumbuzo wokuvela apho abantwana bevela khona. Akuyimfuneko ukulahla iindaba malunga ne-stork - umntwana uyakugweba ngokulula ukuba uxoxe okanye uzinqamle ukuba naliphi na isazi sezengqondo siya kuqonda intloko. Chaza ukuba umntwana weenyanga ezili-9 ukhula kwisisu somama, aze aphume ngaphandle. Iingcali ezininzi zeengqondo zikholelwa ukuba kunokuthiwa ngokukho kwinqanaba elikhethekileyo kwintsapho yabasetyhini abadala. Kodwa ungatsho ukuba isisu sinqunywe - oku kuphazamiseka kwengqondo yomntwana, umhlaba wenkxalabo yecala kumama. Qinisekisa ukuxelela indlela wena nobaba walinda ngayo umntwana, indlela yokuthenga izinto zezingane ngelixa esesiswini. Abantwana bayabathanda amabali anjalo, ngaphezu koko, kubonga kubo, unokutshintsha ingqalelo yomntwana kwizihloko ezibucayi kwizinto ezingathathi hlangothi.
Ininzi abantwana banelisekile ngolwazi olufunyenweyo. Nangona kunjalo, abantu abanomdla banokufumana ukuba umntwana "wakhuphuka" waya esiswini. Abanye abazali bayaxhala, becinga ukuba kuya kufuneka baxelele umntwana ngesondo. Baqala ukuqinisekisa ukuba umntwana "utyhafile" apho ngokwayo. Kodwa abantwana, beziva ubuqhetseba obungcolileyo, bacelwa kwakhona, becaca ukuba inkcazelo yabantu abadala "ayisebenzi." Le meko ayilula - ngokungahambiyo uqala ukukhwelela iintsapho zonqulo, apho inkcazelo ethi "uThixo wanikela" inceda ukuphuma kuloo meko. Yintoni enokuyenza bonke abanye? Mhlawumbi kufanelekile ukuthetha inyaniso, nokuba kunjalo, isiqingatha-nyaniso, ngaphandle kweenkcukacha ezingadingekile, apho umntwana okwangoku angaqondi. Ngokomzekelo, mchazele ukuba xa indoda kunye nomfazi belala ndawonye kwaye bengazibini ngokuqinile, umntwana angakwazi ukuhlala kwindawo yomfazi. Emva kweminyaka engama-3-4, umntwana wakho unokufuna iinkcukacha, kwaye ngoko unokuxelela ukuba umntwana "wanyulwa" esiswini ngenxa yokuba umzimba womfazi unamaseli akhethekileyo adala apho umntwana aphuhlisiwe khona.
NGOKUKHULU
Ngeminyaka eyi-10-12 kwisigama sesiganeko, kukho amagama amaninzi, okubhekiselele kwisondo sokulala, ukuba abantu abadala baxhatshazwa (emva koko, umntwanakho akangabikho nje kuphela kwintsimi yeentsapho ezihlakaniphile). Ngalesi sizukulwana umntwana sele sele eveza izigcawu zebhedi - kwakhona, isitalato ifundisa (kunye neTV). Ukuqinisekisa ukuba abantwana abafumani ulwazi oluphosakeleyo okanye oluyingozi malunga nezesondo, kunye nokulahla amagama angcolileyo, abazali abaninzi bawahambisa iincwadi ezizodwa "malunga nalo." Isisombululo asibi: "Ngaphandle kwemizuzu emihlanu, abaselula" badla ngokuhlazeka ukuthetha nabazali ngezihloko ezinjalo, kwaye iincwadi ezilungileyo zinceda ukuqonda yonke imiba. Inqaku elilodwa kuphela kukuba le ncwadi ayichazi inxalenye yokomoya yesenzo sesondo. Ngenxa yoko, umntwana unokuba nombuzo wendalo: kutheni konke oku? Ingxolo enkulu ngani?
Ngoko ufanele wenze ukuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo-oku kubalulekile kwikamva yesini lesantyazana eliselula. Ihlazo? Makhe umyeni, umkhulu-makhulu, ugogo, umhlobo wakhe usapho uthetha nomntwana. Into ephambili kukuba umntu omdala angenise umntwana inyaniso elula: ubulili buhle, xa indoda kunye nomfazi sele beyaziwa kunye kwaye bathandana. Kodwa akuyonto xa abantu bengayazi kwaye bengayiva nantoni na. Ukusuka kwinqanaba leengqondo zeengqondo, abazali banyanzelekile ukuba bachasane nento ethile kwinkcubeko ebonisa isondo njengenjabulo yezilwanyana kunye nokuzonwabisa okungekho nto.
Ngokwexesha elifanayo, kuyimfuneko ukuxelela umntwana malunga neenguqu eziza kuvela kumzimba: ukuba le ntombazana iya kuqala ukuya esikhathini, kwaye inkwenkwe-ukungcola. Qinisekisa umntwana wakho ukuba utshintsho olunjalo alubi kwaye luyimfuneko-ke luyilwe ngobulumko. Kwakhona gcinani engqondweni: kwiminyaka eyi-12-13, abantwana banothando lokuqala kunye noqalo lokuqala. Ukuqaphela ukuba unyana okanye intombi yawela ngothando, musa ukuyihlekisa ngabo - ngoko uya kubasusa nje, kuba abantwana basengozini kakhulu! - kwaye ungaceli nayiphi na inkcukacha. Inokwenzeka ukuba, umntwana ngokwakhe uya kuthetha yonke into. Ukuba ubona ukuba uvaliwe kwaye uyabuhlungu ngokwenene, zama ukuthetha naye ngokungenangqiqo kwaye ujonge indlela yokuphuma kunye.
UKUQHUBEKA KWEMALI
Xa selula, yonke imiba enxulumene nesondo iyaba yinto eqhelekileyo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba sifuna ukuba amakhwenkwe okanye amantombazana ahlale abantwana ixesha elide, oku akunakwenzeka. Njengomthetho, ngo-14-15 abantwana bethu abafundisayo (kunye nabanye-kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo) bayazi malunga nesondo ngaphandle kwabakudala. Kufana ne-anecdote eyaziwa kakhulu, xa unina, eba nesibindi, unikela intombi yakhe eselula ukuba ikhulume ngesondo, kwaye ibuza ngokuphendula: "Ufuna ntoni, Mama, ukuba ufune?"
Nangona kunjalo, ukuxelela umntwana ngesondo okanye ukuthetha ngobomi obusondeleyo kusadingeka. Kodwa ukwenza oku, okokuqala, kuyimfuneko kumanqanaba alinganayo, kuba umntwana uphantse umdala. Kwaye okwesibini, zama ukuyenza ibali elibuhlungu kwisini. Kucacile ukuba abazali, baxelele abantwana malunga nokukhulelwa kwe-ectopic, i-AIDS kunye nezinye izinto ezixhalabisayo ezinxulumene nesondo, zenza izinto ezilungileyo. Kodwa lo mkhuba uyingozi: umntwana unokuziva ukwesaba okanye ukunyaniseka. Kwaye kuya kuba kuhle kuphela ngoku - esi simo sengqondo sihlala sisindiswa ubomi! Kwaye kukho ukuphendula okuphambeneyo: intombazana inokukwenza into "kwimishumayeli" yabazali, kuba kubantwana beli minyaka kunengqiqo enamandla kakhulu.
Indlela yokuziphatha kubazali? Ngezifo ezidluliselwa ngesondo, ukwazisa, ngokuqinisekileyo, kuyimfuneko. Kodwa kukuxelela ukuba oku kunokwenzeka, ukuba awuyi kuthatha nawaphi na amanyathelo, kwaye ungesabisi ukuba yonke into iyagula. Qinisekisa ukufundisa umntwana malunga nokuba kutheni ufuna iikhondom kunye nendlela yokuzisebenzisa.
Yintoni enye ifanele ifakwe kwiprogram yakho "yokukhanyisa ngesondo"? Sebenzisa le memo. Ezi zizinto izinto izazi zeengqondo kunye nezocansi zivame ukuphakamisa:
ABAZALI BAMAGIRI
- Ngcaciso, qalisa intombi yakho kwiindlela zanamuhla zokukhulelwa. Kulungile, ukuba uyayiva le ngcaciso kumgqirha (kwaye ukuba le ntombazana sele iqalile ukulala ngesondo, ugqirha uya kumnceda akhethe amanyathelo).
- Qinisekisa intombi ukuba ingabonakali ngenxa yokungapheleli komfanekiso. Okokuqala, oko kubonakala ngathi kukho iphoso, abafana bayathanda. Ngokomzekelo, kukho abaninzi abalandeli besibhobho esincinci okanye amaqatha amakhulu.
- Yithi uyamthemba intombazana yakho, kodwa umcele ukuba angayi kulahlekelwa intloko yakhe, ukuba omnye wamadoda amancinci uya kumnyanzela. Nangona ebudeni bokuba ubudala ubudlelwane phakathi kwesondo sele buba lula, kwindawo enzulu yomphefumlo, amadoda ahlala egcinwa. I. Njengoko uphando lweengqondo zengqondo zanamhlanje lubonisa, abameleli besondo esomeleleyo bayawaxabisa loo mabhinqa abo kufuneka baqhutyelwe ngokukhawuleza.
- Chaza ukuba akusiyo yonke intombazana, sele iqalile ubomi bobulili, ufumana ama-orgasm. Oku kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye umntu akufanele abe nomuzwa ongenasiphelo - ngobudala kunye namava, amaninzi aya kulungiswa ngokwawo.
ABAZALI BABANTU ABANTU
- Ukuphuhlisa ubandlululo ngobude bepenisi, uchaza ukuba ubungakanani kulo mbandela alunandaba. Ngamanye amaxesha amaphephancwadi aselula apapasha amanqaku angenangqondo. Mcebisa le ntombazana ukuba ingayithobeli ingqalelo. Kwakhona phawula ukuba ukulungiswa kuyahluke ngokuxhomekeka kwimizi, impilo, njl.
- Chaza unyana wakho ukuba unokufumana isifo sesandulela ngesondo okanye wenze umfazi okhulelwe okokuqala, ngoko akufanele ubalekele ikhondom.
- Ukuba unyana wakho uyintombi, mkholise ukuba ayiyihlazo. Yithi ininzi yeengxabano "Ndifuna nje uthando" iya kubetha phantsi kwaye kukho naziphi na iziphoso zobugcisa eziza kuxolelwa. Ukongeza, zama ukuchazela unyana wakho ukuba akufanele uzame ukuphinda yonke into emva koontanga bakho, "ukuba ube njengomntu wonke." Ukuba umntu osendaweni yakhe sele esele walala ngesondo, oku akuthethi ukuba abanye bafanele bakulandele ngokukhawuleza umzekelo wakhe (loo ngcebiso, ngokufanelekileyo, ifanelekileyo kumantombazana). Imvelaphi ye-Herd kule meko ayimkelekanga, kuba umntu ngamnye ngumntu, kwaye ngoko ke uyazikhethela oko akwenzileyo nokuba nini. Kwaye oku kubonakala kwethu. Emva koko, ukuba bonke abantu babecinga, bacinga kwaye benza ngendlela efanayo, besiya kuba ii-robots endala.
Kufuneka uthathe isigqibo malunga nendlela yokuxelela umntwana ngesondo okanye malunga nokuba abantwana bavela phi. Into ephambili - yibani nokunyaniseka nokuzola ngokusemandleni. Ungethuki okanye ungabethembi kumntwana. Yinto enzima kodwa kuyimfuneko ukuzalisekisa umsebenzi onomzali wakho.