Kubafazi abaninzi, ubomi babo bentsapho bufana nefilimu eyoyikisayo. Kwaye nesizathu salokhu udlame.
Isihloko sobundlobongela kwintsapho siqheleke kubo abaninzi, kodwa kungekhona wonke umntu onenkalipho yokuthetha ngelizwi. Silungele ukuseka izizathu ezininzi zokuba sifanele sinyamezele, kunokuthi "hayi" kanye. Ngenxa yoko, izibalo ezinzima kakhulu, kunye ne-akhawunti eninzi ehlala emva kweemifanekiso. Kunyaka ngamnye, abaninzi abafazi, ngenye indlela okanye enye, bafumana uxhatshazo lokuziphatha kwimizimba, ngelixa ilungu lentsapho elenza umdlwenguli alinakufumana ukulungiswa okufanelekileyo kwaye lenze olo hlobo lonyango. Into ebuhlungu kukuba abaninzi abafazi abazi nje indlela yokuzikhusela kubundlobongela basekhaya. Ngale nto uze uthethe.
Beats - uthanda.
Mhlawumbi, akukho nto ibhinqa elingayaziyo le proverb. Ubumbhalo bakhe, ubuninzi boba ngowomfazi, kwaye yonke into yenziwe, okwangoku mhlawumbi iyalungisa izenzo zendoda yakhe nomonde wakhe. Kodwa kuphela ngamazwi, kuba luhlobo luni luthando olunokuthi lube khona, ukuba intlungu ithululwa?
Ibhinqa ngokwemvelo lingaphantsi komntu onamandla angokwenyama, okusoloko eba yeso sizathu sokuqala kobundlobongela kunye nokusetyenziswa kwamandla, uxinzelelo, ukuthotywa. Ukungakwazi ukukhawuleza, okanye ukwesaba nje, kunzima kakhulu imeko. Ngokuqhelekileyo konke okungahambiyo kubangelwa ibinzana elilodwa: "kodwa oko kungekubi nakakhulu." Kwaye kunzima nakwiyiphi na imeko.
Ukubonakaliswa kobundlobongela kwintsapho ku nokuba yinto ehlukileyo, kwaye ube yingqondo, ngokwesondo okanye ngokomzimba. Kukho nawuphi na, ukulimala kunzima. Kwanele ukucinga indlela umfazi ovakalelwa ngayo ukwesaba, intlungu, uxinzelelo kunye nokuthotywa unokuziva kwaye uqale ukukholelwa ukuba akayena mntu kulo mbomi, kwaye yonke into eyenzekayo kuye imele kuphela. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba kukho abantwana kwiintsapho zengxabano, kungekudala umtsalane wokubamba kunye nokuqhaqhaqhaqhaza, uwagubungela, ngoko umfazi uthabatha kabini.
Eyona nto ibangelisayo kukuba ngenxa ye "imingxuma" emthethweni kunye nokungazi kwakhe, umdlwenguli akakwazi ukuphendula ngenxa yezenzo zakhe.
Ukwazi njani umgxeke?
Ekuboneni kuqala umqwenguli kunye nomdlwenguli unokuba ngumntu onobungane nomhle, uhlale ekulungele ukuza uncedo kwaye angabangeli nantoni na. Ngokweengqondo zengqondo, ulwaphulo lukhula kancane kancane, kwaye lubonakalisa emva kweminyaka emininzi yokuhlala kunye. Ngokuqhelekileyo umqondiso wokuqala onokuthi umlwelisi ungabonakala endlwini, ayisoloko ikhona, kodwa ukungahambisani nokuvutha komsindo kunye nokugxekwa ngaphezu kwezinto ezinzima, ukunyanzela ngokugqithiseleyo kunye nentlungu ecacileyo xa kubonakala kungalunganga. Njengoko umqondiso wokwesaba kufuneka ube ngumsebenzi onobudlova kwiimeko ezixakile. Emva koko, abaninzi abadlwenguli bahlala besenza nje ngaphantsi kwefuthe lotywala; Ngokuqhelekileyo kuqala ubundlobongela bubonakalisa, njani ukuthetha "izenzo ezinokunyamezela". Indoda phakathi kwempikiswano inokubamba ingxaki isandla, isebenzise ukuhlambalaza, isichukumise ngokukhawuleza, sebenzisa amandla kwizinto eziphuculweyo: kuba phezu kwetafile, udongeni, uphonsa izinto, uwaphule. Mhlawumbi akuyi kuba yiminyaka embalwa, kwaye unokuba yinto enjalo yokususa umsindo. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akukho bani ucebisa ukushiya abathembekileyo, kubalulekile nje ngelixa kunethuba lokuqonda ingcinezelo yale mpawu kwaye ungavumeli ukuphindaphinda kwixesha elizayo. Unokudibanisa kunye nabasemagxeni kunye nabadlwenguli. Kukho amadoda aqaphela ukuziphatha kwawo kwaye azilungiselele ngokuzimela ukulwa nale nto, inzondelelo ayikwazi ukugatywa, kubalulekile ukuxhasa nokukunceda ngazo zonke iindlela. Ngale meko yeendaba, ngokukhawuleza uya kuqonda indlela yokwenza ulwaphulo-mthetho kwintsapho.
Abantwana.
Njengoko sele kuthethwe ngazo, abantwana bahlala beyinto yobundlobongela kwintsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, unina akakwazi ukuwakhusela, okanye yena ngokwakhe uyinto yokuxhatshazwa. Ngokuqhelekileyo oku kwenzeka kwiintsapho apho umfazi exhomekeke kumntu kwizinto eziphathekayo kunye nezindlu. Ngenxa yokungabikho kwanoma yiyiphi enye into, kufuneka ukuba banyamezele, kwaye babenzele ukunyamezela abantwana, kuba akukho ndawo yokuya kuyo.
Abantwana yindawo ebandezeleka kakhulu kubemi beliphi na ilizwe, kwaye njengoko bethetha, nabani na onokukhubekisa umntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukusetyenziswa kakubi komntwana kusetyenziswa ngabazali bobabini, uhlobo lweinjongo zemfundo, bathi, ukuba bazi indawo yabo. Ngexesha elifanayo, bambalwa abantu baqwalasela ukuba umntwana, oye wabandezeleka, uya kuqhubeka exhoba. Oku kuya kuphazamisa ubudlelwane kwiqela lokufundisa, ekuxoxaneni neontanga, kwaye emva kokudala. Le ndlela yemfundo yeso sizathu sokwakheka kwesimo sengqondo somntu othile. Ngokuqhelekileyo, aba bantwana bazilungele ukuba bahlale bebona ubuninzi beentliziyo. Yintoni echaphazela ukuzithemba kwabo nokuzithemba kwabo. Kwaye nabantwana abaqaphela nje ubundlobongela baya kuba neengxaki zengqondo, kwaye ngokuzayo, ukuhlalutya okwenzekayo, bazive bebetyala ukuba kwenzeke esi siganeko, nangona kungekho nto.
Njani ukuba?
Ukuba uba lixhoba, kwaye ungayazi indlela onokuzikhusela ngayo kubundlobongela basekhaya, isenzo sakho sokuqala sifanele siqaphele ukuba senze into enobudlova. Ukuvuma ngokuqinisekileyo kwelo hlobo lolwaphulo-mthetho kukunika ithemba lokujongana. Ukwangoku, kukho imibutho emininzi yomsebenzi wayo ujonge ukulwa nobubungqina bentsapho. Kulo maziko uya kunikwa yonke ingcaciso ebalulekileyo, uya kunika uncedo lwengqondo kwaye uchaze indlela yokusebenza kwiimeko ezinjalo. Musa nje ukudibana nokuqhagamshelana namapolisa, kunye nezinye iziganeko ezikhusela amalungelo abantu.
Enye indlela yokuphepha ugonyamelo akuyikukukhupha. Ukuba uyazi izizathu zokubangela ukuba umdlwenguli angayi kubamba, uziphephe, kwaye ungavumeli ukugquma okunjalo kwaye uzame ukuhamba ixesha elide ukuba imeko ihambe kakhulu.