Ukuthintela ngempumelelo iingxabano zomtshato

Ngubani phakathi kwethu ongafuni ukufumana intsapho eyoyolo kunye nolwalamano olunzulu? Ngelishwa,

ubugcisa bokuhlala kunye kunye nokukwazi ukukhusela ingxabano akufundiswa esikolweni okanye kwiyunivesithi. Kwiintsapho, akakho umntu omele athathe umzekelo - ulwalamano lwabazali kaninzi alukude. Ngoko ke, iibini ezitshatileyo kufuneka zikhokelwe yilingo kunye nephutha: ukufumana amava kwimpikiswano yomtshato, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo umtshato. Enyanisweni, amanani aqinisekisa ukuba inani lemitshato liyancipha ngamnye unyaka, kwaye inani lenanikazi likhula ngokukhawuleza. Yaye le nto ibonwa kuphela eRashiya, kodwa kwihlabathi lonke. Abantu abakhulileyo bacasulwa ngokuwa kwezimpawu zokuziphatha, "uthando olukhululekile," umtshato wesini ofana naye: "Asizange sifundise abantwana bethu into enje!". Umbuzo onengqiqo uvela: "Yaye yintoni na osifundayo?". Into ebaluleke kakhulu - ubuhlobo - abufundiswanga ngokuqinisekileyo.
Yintoni ekhethekileyo ngokukwazi nokwazi indlela yokonwaba emtshatweni kunye nokuthintela ngempumelelo iingxabano zomtshato? Amava olwalamano nolonophelo oluhlala ixesha elide, imitshato "yobomi," ibonisa ukuba ukukwazi ukwenza izinto ezixhasayo kukunceda ukukhusela ngempumelelo ukuxabana kwintsapho. Ngokuqhelekileyo, iingxaki zivela kuloo ntsapho apho "iindidi zempembelelo" zabatshatileyo azihlulelwanga. Kwaye kuyimfuneko kuphela ukuqonda kakuhle ukuba ngubani, ukuba yiyiphi iimpendulo, indlela zonke izinto eziwela ngayo kwaye ukutshatyalaliswa kususwe. Ngaloo ndlela, kuzo zonke iinkcubeko, ukunyamekela ikhaya nokukhulisa abantwana kuye kwathathwa njengolu xanduva lomfazi. Umsebenzi kunye "nokumbiwa kwemayini," kunye nazo zonke ezinye iintsebenziswano zangaphandle - ummandla womyeni wakhe. Wonke umntu unembopheleleko kummandla wakhe kwaye akaphazamisi nabanye ngaphandle kwemfuneko. Ukwenza ezinye izinto akuvumelekile, kodwa zonke izinto kufuneka zenzeke, kungekhona kwingozi "yombutho". Ngokomzekelo, umfazi angasebenza xa sele eshiye ikhefu ngaphandle kolawulo lwendlu kunye nokukhuliswa. Nangona ibhinqa liqhuba ishishini, uyaqhubeka ethwala uxanduva lommandla wakhe. Ukuba akayikufeza imisebenzi yakhe, kufuneka aququzelele, umzekelo, ngokuqeshelwa ngumntwana okanye umqhubi womntwana, ulawule ukutya okulungiselelwe, njl njl. "I-Tug yengubo" iqala xa kungabikho ukungazi ngabafazi bomsebenzi wabo kwaye bazama ukufundisana kwakhona.
Ukuba sizama ukuphinda sifundise umntu, kunokuba sizisebenzele ngokwethu, ngoko sizibeka kwindawo yokuphakama ngaphezu kwesinye. Yaye le ndlela yokuzimela kunye nokuzingca, kuba zombini amacala alinganayo emtshatweni. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kunengqondo ukuzibamba kwaye uqonde izinto eziphambili. Yintoni ebaluleke kakhulu kuwe? Ngubani othanda kakhulu? Ufuna ntoni kubudlelwane? Iimbambano zizalwa ngokungaqondi kakuhle uthando kunye nezilindelekileyo ezivela kumtshato. Egoism enkulu kukulindela izibonelelo zomtshato. Wonke umntu unelindelo lakhe, okokuba, njengommiselo, abazithetheleli kwaye bavelise iindidi ezahlukeneyo zomtshato. Sifuna kwaye sifune kwi-roman uthando kunye nentlonipho, ngelixa sikhohlwe ukungathandeki ukuzinikela.
Asazi ukuba sivuya njani, siqokelela iingxaki, asisebenzi kwiimpawu zethu ezimbi. Imfihlelo yolonwabo yentsapho kukunika omnye, kwaye angayifuni, ukuba abone iimpawu ezilungileyo kwaye azixabise, ukuze akwazi ukuxolela iimpazamo. Ulwalamano lwentsapho kufuneka kwakhona lufunde, luxhase ngothando, kungekhona ukuzingca, oluza kunceda ngokukhawuleza ukukhusela ingxabano yomtshato. Nayiphi na umtshato inokuphinda ihlaziywe xa uyeka ukungathandabuzeki ngokuchaneka kokukhetha umlingane okanye umfazi, qalisa ukuqonda intsapho yakho ngendlela entsha - njengexabiso eliphezulu ebomini.