Zihlala zizibuza kaninzi - yintoni uthando? Ngaba kukho konke? Ngaba imitshato isoloko isekelwe kwimvakalelo kunye nantoni na imimiselo yomtshato ovuyayo? Abantu ababini abahlukeneyo kunzima ukudibanisa kwimihlaba efanayo, umtshato ubonisa ukutshabalalisa abantu ababini abakhulayo baze bavelisa ngokungafaniyo.
Imikhwa eyahlukeneyo yasekhaya ingabangela ama-scandal scandals. Musa ukudala intsapho ngaphandle kothando. Xa uyamthanda umntu, ngokukhawuleza uyayiqonda indlela yakhe yokuphila, yamkela imilinganiselo yakhe, ungayithobeli ingqalelo kwiintsilelo ezincinane.
Okumangalisayo kukuba, incinci yobudala kunye nezantsi lemfundo yabalingani bomtshato, kulula ukuba bahlangane. Kwaye ukuba abantu ababini abadala beguqukayo, kunzima kakhulu ukuzisebenzisa kuluntu lomnye, nokuba kukho uvelwano. Ezi ziyinxalenye yendalo yomtshato ovuyayo.
Emva kwayo yonke into, kukhangeleka, kubonakala ngathi, abantu abadala kufuneka babe namava athile obomi kwaye babe nezimo ezinzulu kwiintsebenziswano zabo, kodwa imikhuba eye yaqhubeka iminyaka ibe yomelele kangangokuthi akunakukwazi ukutshintsha. Kwaye abafazi basoloko befuna kakhulu abo bachongiweyo: abazange baxhome ithawula emva kokusetyenziswa, bavale ityhubhu nge-toothpaste, baphonsa amasokisi kwindawo engafanelekanga, abazange balenga izinto kwikhempi, abazange bahlambe indebe emva kwabo ... Ewe, akukho nto inokuyifumana.
Ngoko, ukuba unqume ukuqala intsapho kwaye uhlala ndawonye ngokuvuya, kufuneka uzinikele ekusebenzisaneni kuzo zonke iindawo.
- Ubomi
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuseka ubomi obufanayo. Kuya kuba lula ukwenza oku ukuba uhlala ngaphandle kwabazali kunye namanye amalungu entsapho. Kwaye uhlale usuka kwizinto ozivelayo kumlingane wakho womtshato. Emva kwakho konke, kumntu othandekayo unokwenza konke. Uyazi njani ukuba uthanda umntu wakho okanye ucinga nje loo nto?
- Imvakalelo yangempela
Khumbula, iimvakalelo zinyaniso kuphela zizisa uvuyo. Uvuka ekuseni, indoda yakho isondele kuwe. Uziva ntoni ngaye ngoku? Ujonge entanyeni yakhe, emagxeni akhe avulekile, uyavuya kakhulu ukumbona, uva intliziyo yakhe ibetha, ufumana into enokuthenjwa yokumthinta, uvuyiswa ngumphefumlweni wakhe, ufuna ukumanga ngoku kwindawo ephakathi kwamagxa emagxa kunye nokuphefumula ngesiphunga sakhe ... Ngaba uthanda ukumangala umlala wakhe? Ngokuqinisekileyo, lo lu thando, unganqikazi!
- Ngelelo
Ngaba ulungele ukuzidela, ixesha lakho, amathuba, iiminqweno, ukunyanzela uthando lwakho? Uthando lokwenene alwenzeki ngaphandle kwemibingelelo, kufuneka lufundwe ekuqaleni. Kufuneka ukhunjulwe ukuba loo mnikelo ubonisa ukuba awulindelanga nantoni na ekubuyeleni, awudingi ukuhlawula uthando, uyayithanda ngaphandle kweemeko. Unokwenza konke kumthande wakho ophakathi kwamandla akho. Kwaye nayiphi na inzuzo ayinakuba ngumbuzo. Kuphela kwiimvakalelo ezinjalo kunokudala intsapho eqinile. Imeko efanelekileyo xa umntu evakalelwa ngendlela efanayo ngawe. Kodwa umntu uthanda into encinci, akanako ukulungele ukuzincama ngenxa yakho, ekucingeni nje kuphela njenge-whims (mhlawumbi kunjalo, ukuba sivumela ukuba singabonakali, ngoko siya kuyenza ngokuqinisekileyo).
Omnye akufanele adibanise uthando lokwenene, olungenakubeka imimiselo, ngesithakazelo okanye ukuxhomekeka, okungekho nxalenye yomtshato ocolileyo. Ukunyameka kuphelileyo, kwaye ukuxhomekeka akuyenzi umntu onwabileyo, ngokuchaseneyo, uhlaselwa "ngothando" olunjalo. Xa ndikholelwa ngokunyanisekileyo, uthando lwenza umntu onwabile, kungakhathaliseki ukuba uyaxhamla okanye awukho, kufuphi nawe ngumntu oyintandokazi okanye ungamboni kwaye ungaliva ixesha elide. Kodwa ukuba unenhlanhla ukuqala intsapho kunye nomthandayo, kufuneka usebenze kanzima.
Utshaba lokuqala endleleni eya kumtshato ovuyayo kukuzingca. Ngobugovu udinga ukulwa. Ungesabi ukuhlala kwabanye, ungesabi ukuzidela ngenxa yabathandekayo bakho. Imeko ephambili akumele ilinde nantoni na ngokubuyisela. Amabango amancinane esiwenzayo kukhethiweyo wethu, sinamandla ngakumbi kuye. Ukuba uhlala uhluthe umyeni wakho ngeemfuno zokwenza into ethile, ube ngumntu othile, unqume into ethile, utshintshe kuwe, kungekudala uya kuqonda ukuba awuyithandi, kuba yindlela eyiyo ngokwenene, kwaye se benzisa nje ngenzuzo. Kulo
Kubalulekile ukuba umthandwa wakho uzive uthanda. Ukuba wenza konke okusemandleni akho ngaphandle kokufuna into evela kwabanye, amanye amalungu entsapho aya kuziphatha ngendlela efanayo. Akufuneki ukuba ungathandabuzeki, udibanise ubomi bakho nomhlobo wakho.
- Ukwazi ukuxolela
Ukukwazi ukuxolela enye imeko eyenza umtshato uvuyo. Ukwakha ubudlelwane - kunzima kakhulu, kunzima kakhulu, kuba ngamnye wethu uzenza ngathi "uyingqayizivele kwaye uyingqayizivele" wakhe okhethiweyo.
Sifuna umntu othandekayo ukuba asixabise kwaye asixabise, kodwa akusoloko kuvela. Kukho iingxabano zasemakhaya ezincinane, izikrakra ezinkulu ngezizathu ezithile, inzondo, ukungathembeki. Ukuba kunzima ukuba uqonde ngenxa yokukhuliswa kwakho, kutheni ukuze umntu wakho othandekayo enze oku, ngoko kufuneka uzame ukumxolela, ngakumbi xa ekucela ukuba uxolelwe. Akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi umntu, nokuba uyazi ukuba akalungile, uya kucela ukuxolelwa.
Mthethelele kule ngxaki. Emva kwakho konke, uyamthanda, akunjalo? Ngoko, uyayidinga kwaye awukwazi ukucinga ngobomi bakho ngaphandle kwayo, kwaye ngoko, uqhagamshelwano kufuneka lusekwe kwaye kufuneka ulubeke. Ibhinqa isilumko esilumkileyo kunobomi beentsapho kunomntu.
Kwaye kutheni ufuna intsapho?
Ngaba ufuna ngokwenene intsapho? Kuthetha ntoni kuwe? Ngaba le nxalenye yobomi bakho okanye yindlela nje yokwenza lula ubomi bakho? Umtshato awuyilo lonwabo kunye nokuzonwabisa, kuwumsebenzi onzima, kwaye ngaphezu kwakho konke, kufuneka usebenze ngokwakho, kwiingxaki zakho, kwaye ungafuneki ukutshintsha iqabane lakho.
Funda ukuxolela, ukunyamezela, ukuthanda, ukuzisebenzela ngokwakho kwaye uthathe uxanduva kuwe. Funda ukulawula iimvakalelo zakho. Ukulawula iimvakalelo, unako ukuva umhlobo wakho kwaye umqonde. Ukuba awulungele konke oku, akunakwenzeka ukunyamezela ubunzima bentsapho. Ukuba unquma ukuqala intsapho, kufuneka wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuqinisekisa ukuba wonke umntu osapho lwakho uyavuya. Oku kuwe, ufuna kuphela umnqweno wakho.