Ewe, kunjalo! Umntwana kufuneka abe yinto engcolileyo! Abantwana abanjalo bahlala ubomi obupheleleyo. Kuphela kubo bakhula ngokukhawuleza, ubunobuntu bokudala.
Phinda uphinde uphinde uphinde ulandelelanise abantu abaninzi: akukho nanye ebuntwaneni wayengengomntwana olungileyo. Ngokomzekelo, uCharles Darwin, owayenomdla kuphela ekuthungeni, ephikisana neenja kunye nokubamba amagundane, wachaza ukuba uya kuba yintloni kwintsapho yakhe. U-Helmholtz, ongakhange abonakalise inzondelelo kwizifundo zakhe, ootitshala bavuma ngokusondeleyo. INewton yayineenkcukacha ezicekisekayo kwi-physics kunye nemathematika. Abaninzi balabo abaye bafikelela kwiindawo eziphakamileyo zozuko kunye nokuqatshelwa kwehlabathi, ebuntwaneni, babephindaphindiwe: uGogol noGoncharov, uDostoevsky noBunin, uKhekhov no-Ehrenburg ... Kubonakala ukuba abantu abanokukwazi ukujamelana nexesha ngekharityhulam yekharityhulam, babengenasiphelo oko kuyimfuneko kwaye kakhulu bacasula abazali babo.
Yintoni ukungathobeli abantwana?
Ngoko ke ukungathobeli komntwana, ngenxa yintoni isizukulwana esitsha sabazali esihluphekayo kwaye yintoni eyanqandwa yilo lonke isizukulwana esitsha sabantwana? Ukususela kumbono wabazali, ukungathobeli kuyinto evuthela abantu abadala. Kwaye phantse yonke into iyacaphukisa! "Musa ukuthetha ngemilenze yakho!" - kwaye uthetha. Ngako-ke ayibi. "Musa ukukhathaza uyihlo ngemibuzo yakho yobuwula!" - kwaye uyabamba. "Akunamdla!" Waqhekeza iglasi - "Nelukh! Bakuxelele: musa ukujika! "Wawa waza wawaphula idolo -" Nenqweno! Ukuthetha okufanayo kuni: musa ukugijima! "Amava afanayo afumana amaxesha amaninzi phantse bonke abazali. Ujonge umntwana onobuqhetseba kwiingqungquthela kwaye ucinga ngoloyiko: "Ngaba iya kuba njalo ...?"
Sinokuyenza njani?
Ewe, kuya kuba njalo. Kwaye ngakumbi! Ukuba uqhubeka ubala kude nawe. Ukuba ungatshintshi ingqondo yakho ngokungathobeli komntwana. Ngokuqhelekileyo le ngxaki ixutyushwa kwimeko yabazali, oko kukuthi, indlela yokujongana nomntwana ongekho nto, indlela yokuyifumanisa ngayo, ukwenza ubomi bobazali bancinci.
Kwincwadi eninzi edumileyo enikezelwe kule ngxaki (Intsana kaDokotela "uDotson" onguNtsapho), ukuvunyelwa kohlwaywa ngabantwana kuxoxwa. I-recipe inikezelwa (kubaluleke kakhulu!), Indlela yokwenza umntwana ongenangxaki awenze kakubi, ngelixa engakhubazekanga. Kwaye ndifuna ukumemeza: "Yeyona nkqubela phambili!" Ugqirha (!) Ukwabela amava okuxabaniswa kwabantwana ... Kwaye abazali abaninzi banomdla ngokuzisa le ncwadi: "Kuyabonakala ukuba unokubetha abantwana! Kwaye kunceda kakhulu! Kwaye kwithuba elithile umntwana akakhuphekanga. "
Kutheni bakhala ukuba baninzi, ukuba luncedo kubo kwaye aluyikucasula?
Ewe, unako ukugcina umntwana enentsimbi, ungamfundisa indlela yokuhamba ngomtya ngokubetha, ukubetha imilenze yakhe kwaye ubuze imibuzo engacwengekanga. Kodwa ... ngolunye usuku umntwana okhulileyo uya kukhumbula konke oku. Ngoko, akukho miqathango eqinile ekupheliseni ingxaki yokungathobeli. Uhamba kuphela. Kwaye kwikamva elikufutshane-kwixesha lokuguquka. Nangona kunjalo ke unako ukuphosa yonke into phantsi kwesikolo, ukuya kwisango, kubahlali ababi, ukuya kumabonakude athileyo ... Hayi, kuthekani ukuba awuyikuyicinezela le ngxaki uze uzame ukuyicombulula ngaphandle kokulibaziseka ngaphandle kokusebenzisa isiluleko "esikhulu" uDkt Dobson?
Enyanisweni, kulungile xa umntwana eyazi into ayifunayo nento engenziyo. Uyasitshela into elungileyo, into embi, into eluncedo, kwaye yintoni eyingozi.
Umntwana ophilayo okanye idonsa?
Ewe, abazali abadiniweyo, bahlushwa yiengxaki zobomi, ndifuna ubuncinane babo abantwana ukuba bavuyiswe.
Ndifuna ukuzibona zihlambulukile, zineentama ezijikelezileyo, ukuze abantwana abanesidlo badle i-muffin yabo baze badlale ngokuthula ngasecaleni labo. Yaye musa u Kwaye abazange benze nasinye isandi. Akazange aphumele. Kwakhona kuza kuza kwifowuni yokuqala. Kwaye babeza kuthatha amathoyizi. Kwaye ngexesha lokulala. Kwaye bazisa ezintlanu esikolweni. Kwaye banokukhangela inkunkuma ... Ngesizathu esithile abantu abaninzi abadala bakholelwa ukuba abantwana BAFANELE babe njalo! Ngaba ngenxa yokuba abazali bafuna, ngenxa yokuba bekhululekile kakhulu, bakhululekile. Emva kwakho konke, abazali bazisa abantwana babo emhlabeni, babondla baze baphuza, kunye nabantwana, nabo, BAFANELE bahlawule ngenxa yezi ntsikelelo. Ukuhlawula nge-OBEDIENCE, oko kukuthi, ukukhishwa kweminqweno yomntu. Akukho, akukho ngaphantsi.
Kodwa akuzange kuzalwe umntwana onqwenela ukuthobela, othanda ukuhlala emva kwezifundo kunokudlala; ngubani emva komdlalo uza kuba namandla okucoca iimidlalo; ngubani owayeza kuhlambuluka esitalato; ongenakufuna ukunqumla ubaba kwithelevishini, kunye nomama ovela kwifowuni; ngubani ongathanda ukucima iphepheni njalo ngoMgqibelo, kwaye uthabathe ibhokhwe yonke imihla.
Ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga komntwana
Makhe sijonge ukungathobeli abantwana kwiindawo zabo. Kwaye kubonakala ukuba kwiindawo ezininzi "ezingabonakaliyo" zabantwana akukho mfuno engalunganga. Ewe, kunzima kubo ukuba bangathethi ngeenyawo zabo, kuba amandla ayababetha ngentloko. Ewe, umdlalo unomdla ngakumbi kunezifundo (ngaba ucinga ngenye indlela?). Ewe, emva komdlalo bakhathele kakhulu, njengawe emva komsebenzi, kuba umdlalo kubo unomsebenzi ofanayo. Ngoko ukususa amathoyizi kubantwana akunakwenzeka nakanjani ...
Kodwa ukuba kunokusigxeka kunye nokusikhusela ekungathobeli, siya kunceda umntwana ukuba akwazi ukujamelana nalo mbandela onzima, uya kusibulela kwaye ngelinye ilanga uya kuphendula kwisicelo sethu aze asincede. Kuphela ngale ndlela (kwaye kungekhona kwiimyalelo) ukuba ufunde ukuva novelwano kunye nokunceda. Mxelele: "Xa unesikhathi, nceda uyenze," uya kwenza. Okanye ubuze: "Ukuba awukhathali, ndincede, ube ngumhlobo" - kwaye uya kukhwela ukukunceda. Into ephambili kukucela ukufudumala, ngobumnene, ngabantu. Emva kwakho konke, umntwana akayena i-robot okanye ijoni, kodwa umntu ophila. Ngokufanayo njengoko sinawe. Umntu ophilileyo onothando lwakhe, ububele bakhe kunye nesimo sengqondo, ubuthathaka bakhe kwaye, ukuba uthanda, i-oddities. Ewe, oku kumangalisa abazali abaninzi! Kwaye zonke ezi zinto ziqala ukubonakala kusasa kakhulu, ukususela kumntwana. Omnye uhlala ebusweni bonke ubusuku kwaye ekhokelela abazali ukuba bathathele, omnye uyamemeza xa ehlanjelwe ekuhlambeni, enye yesithathu xa ikhutshwa emanzini, kwaye lo ulandela ubisi ngaphantsi kwe-Strauss waltz ... Ewe, bonke bavuke kakhulu kwaye bahluke kakhulu.
Umntwana uhlala echanekile
Kodwa kuphela umntwana oza kuthetha, kungekudala amazwi akhe abathandayo abe "Andifuni!" Kwaye "andiyi kuba!". Ukususela kuloo mzuzu ngoku, ubomi kwiintsapho ezininzi kuba ngumzabalazo wangempela. Ekulweni alingalingani ... Ngenxa yokuba unina unyanzela umntwana ukuba abe ngumonakalo onyanisekileyo, kwaye akakwazi ukwenza okufanayo nomama wakhe othandekayo. Ngenxa yokuba ubaba unako ukutshiza umntwana ocaphukisayo entliziyweni yakhe, kodwa yena, umntwana, akakwazi ukwenza okufanayo kunye nobaba ... Ngoko ke umntwana unokunciphisa njani amandla abantu abadala? Nguyena kuphela onxungulekileyo "ANGIFUNA!" Kwaye "ANGAKHO!" Nangona unayo. Kwaye simele sivuyiswe!
Emva koko, ukungathobeli kukubonakalisa ubuntu obuthileyo. Umntu onombono kwaye akayi kutya ukuthetha. Nangona lo mntu uneminyaka emibili kuphela ubudala kwaye uvele nje ephuma kwi-diapers. Lo mntu owaziwayo, oku kuthetha ngokucacileyo umntu uveza uluvo lwakhe ngokucacileyo nayiphi na imeko. Ewe, ukungathobeli akubi, njengokuba abazali abaninzi bakholelwa. Enyanisweni, kulungile xa umntwana eyazi into ayifunayo nento engenziyo. Uyasitshela into elungileyo, into embi, into eluncedo, kwaye yintoni eyingozi.
Ukuzalisa intliziyo, abazali bangazivuma bona ngokwabo zonke iimeko ukuba umntwana ulungile! Ukungathobeli kwakhe kukubonakaliswa kwe-HEATTHY SENSE.
Ewe, wenqaba ukutya, kuba akalambile. Akafuni ukugqoka, kuba akabanda. Ewe, uyavukela ukumbeka embhedeni, kuba engakhathali kwaye akafuni ukulala. Ngoko kutheni thina, bazali, sizingelela? Kutheni kubamba ubomi bomntwana obumnandi nenjongo? Makhe amnike ithuba lokulamba, ukuthuthumela phantsi kwemvula, ukuba atyunwe ngesanti kunye nodongwe, asebenze aze adlale ngokwaneleyo, ukuze kamva anqumle ukuvumba kwesonka somnyama ngesidlo kwaye alele ngokulala.
Ngenxa yokungathobeli kwakhe inkani umntwana ulwabalazela intsingiselo yobomi. Umntwana onjalo ufanelwe yonke intlonipho kunye nokunyaniseka, kungekhona kuyo yonke into ebangelisayo, kungekhona ukuphalaza kunye nokuphambuka, njengokuba kudla njalo, i-alas, kwenzeka ... Kuphosakeleyo kwaye kuyingozi ukumbona umntwana njengomntu ophantsi, okufuneka ukuba zonke iindleko zithathwe kwaye ukuqeqesha! Ngaba ufuna ukuba afune "ukucima isigqila ngamatye"? Kodwa kwintsapho ukuba umntwana ufundiswa ngengqondo ye-slavish. Okokuqala kwintsapho, ngenxa yentsapho eyenziwa ngumntu, kungekhona i-kindergarten, isikolo, njl njl. Inkulisa, isikolo sihlolisisa umntu: yintoni efanelekileyo?
Ukungathobeli kuyimvubelo ekuphakameni kwayo
Kwaye ingcono imvubelo, inamandla imvubelo, iimbumba kunye neengxabano kwintsapho. Kodwa ukuba sifuna ukuba umntwana wethu akhule ukuba abe ngumntu osebenzayo, odala, asiyi kuzalisa lawa mafutha amnandi ngamanzi abandayo okubhaliweyo kunye nezijeziso. Ewe, ngomntwana othobelayo uhlazileyo, kodwa unemibala. Ngexesha elingathobeliyo, kodwa unomdla. Namahloni musa ukukhathazeka!
Makhe sijonge kumntwana njengomdali olinganayo wobomi bethu obuqhelekileyo. Musa ukuphula intando yakhe, kodwa uvuyo ngokubonakalisa kwayo. Musa ukuxela ukuzimela, kodwa khuthaza. Musa ukunyamezela ukusilela kwakhe, ungahlazisi, kodwa khuthaza. Masibe nenhlonipho yesiqalo kumntwana wakho, nangona kunjalo encinci. Vumelana nomntwana, qaphela ukufaneleka kwakhe, mnike kuye - akuyikuthotyelwa ngokupheleleyo kwaye akanamahloni. Oku kuqhelekileyo, ngumntu, kwaye kusisondeza kuphela kumntwana wethu. Kwaye ke umbi "u, wena, ungathobeli!" Uya kushiya idilesikisi yethu, kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo kuya kuhlonipha: "Hayi, makube yindlela yakho, yintsana."