Mhlawumbi, kufuneka uvumelane ngokukhawuleza kwisigama. Umbuzo othi "wam - umhambi" unokusondela kwiindawo ezihlukeneyo: ezentlalo, ezengqondo, zesondo. Sinokucinga ukuba bonke abantu-umdwebo, unako konke "okwangaphambili" ukucingela ngokwabo. Ngokuqhelekileyo kwenzeka ukuba umntu uhlala kunye, udibana (ngokusondeleyo) kwelinye, kodwa uyayithanda inxalenye yesithathu. Ngubani na ke?
Ubudlelwane
Masivumelane, emva koko, ukuba sicinge ngamanye amazwe amadoda asemthethweni wesifazane: umfazi, intombi, intombi. Kwaye makhe sithethe malunga nendlela yokujongana nabo kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo. Okokuqala, kwaye ngokukhawuleza: xa sidibana ngendlela yethu "indoda engaqhelekanga", kufuneka senze isigqibo malunga neminqweno kunye nezicwangciso zethu. Iingcali zengqondo zithi loo nto ibhinqa - imizuzwana engu-6-10. Emva kwezi zihlandlo ezimbalwa esaziyo (ubuncinci bezantsi) ukuba uya kuba nale ndoda ethile, okanye, ubuncinane, into ayifunayo kuye. Ewe, kuhle kakhulu, kuba, amadoda, nje ixesha elide kakhulu oku akunakunqunywa. Ngamanye amaxesha bathatha iminyaka ukuqonda ukuba le ntlanganiso yayiyintsikelelo, kwaye kunye nalo mfazi ulungele ukuhlala ubomi bakhe bonke. Ngoko, sithatha yonke into ezandleni zethu.
Okokuqala, qwalasela izinto ezimbalwa eziqhelekileyo, xa umntu wesinye isizwe unomdla kuthi, kwaye asifuni ukuthatha yonke into ngaphaya kwesi sikhokelo sobudlelwane be-platonic.
Imeko yomphathi-phantsi (ubudlelwane obuxhomekeke kuyo)
Ngokuqhelekileyo, abaqashi abesilisa bayaqonda ngokucacileyo inxalenye yabesifazane njengabantu abangabahlali ("bonke bam, oko ndikufunayo, ndiya kuthatha oku kwaye andiyi kukhanyela"). Indoda ingashukunyiswa ngoloyiko lokwazisa, ukuphendula komfazi, abaphathi bakhe, okanye ukungabikho komdla kwindoda yesini ngokubanzi okanye ngokukodwa. Kodwa ukuba umphathi "imililo", kufuneka uhlale uqaphele - ngenxa yokuba, awufuni ukuyeka ngenxa yokuthanda kwakhe!
Isicwangciso: Uthando lwePlaton
Akukho nto ingcono kwiimeko ezifana nokuthanda, okuvulekileyo, okuthandwayo kubasemagunyeni (kuya kumkhohlisa), ukubonakaliswa kwawo okuphelelweyo ngokukhuliswa kwakho kunye neemeko (umtshato wakhe).
Amacacisi: ukungaqondi, "ukuthini ukuba uthetha"
Kuya kufuneka udlale indima yesidenge esicacileyo, esingaziqondi okokuqala umntu oqhubayo (kwiimeko ezininzi basishiya le nkalo kuthi, ngenxa yokuba banzulu kakhulu besaba ukukhutshwa kwaye abafuni ukuthatha uxanduva malunga nobudlelwane obusondeleyo). Ukuba uye wachaza ngokucacileyo yonke into, kuya kufuneka umangaliswe, wring izandla zakho wenze yonke into ngendlela ongayikwazi ngayo:
a) qalisa i-romance yenkonzo;
b) qalise ngomntu otshatileyo.
Nangona kweli lixa abantu banamanqanaba alinganayo, imeko evela kule nto ayiyi kuba lula nakakhulu. Emva koko, kuyimfuneko ukugcina ubudlelwane obuhle bezoshishino, imiqathango eyakhayo kwiqela. Gcina umgama othandweni okanye umqabane ongekho lula kunomphathi.
Isicwangciso: gxi ninisa ukubaluleka kwezo nxu lumano olukhoyo; bonisa ukuba oku akufanelekanga ingozi. Ngomnye umntu osebenza kunye naye okanye oshishino naye kufuneka ukuba angabi ngabahlobo, kodwa ukuba ube ngabahlobo: ukuya esidlweni, ukusela ikhofi. Kwaye, ngokuqinisekileyo, ngokubambisana ngokubambisana-ukusebenzisana ngokubambisana kunika nengqiqo yobudlelwane obusondeleyo, ngamanye amaxesha kubaluleke ngaphezu kokuqhagamshelana ngesondo.
Imeko: umhlobo osondeleyo womntu othandekayo
Le meko iyingozi kakhulu, kuba ilapha iqala ukulwa nomlingani wesilisa. Kwaye ufanele uphenduke phakathi kwemililo emibili: akufanele uvusele umntu owamthandayo kwaye ngexesha elifanayo njengowesifazane kumhlobo wakhe omhle, kuba imvume yakhe okanye ukugwetywa kwendoda yakho ayikhathaleli.
Isicwangciso: ukulungeleka ngokulula, kungaphenduki.
Lo mgaqo wokuziphatha uvuselela umphefumlo, uhluthe ukuzithemba kwamadoda, kwaye ezi zimbini zivakalelwa ukuba zithathe indawo engathandekiyo.
Indoda ethandekayo yomhlobo wakhe othandekayo
Oku, mhlawumbi, yiyona imeko engathandekiyo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, wayedlabatha ubuncwane (unabo bafazi abakhulu - intombi yakho, kwaye ukhangele kuwe!) Ngomnye - usongela ukutshabalalisa nje ukuxabisa, kodwa ubudlelwane obubi kakhulu kunye nomhlobo, kwaye ngexesha elinye kunye nobomi bakhe. Kwaye oku kubalulekile nje kuphela, kwaye akunjalo ngokukhawuleza ukukhanyela loo mntu kwaye ngexesha elifanayo uhlale naye ebudlelwaneni obuhle (uya kufuneka unxibelelane nanoma kunjalo), kodwa ugcine yonke into eyimfihlo, ukuze umntu wesithathu engacingi. Ngamanye amaxesha kunzima kunzima, kuba umfazi uyazi kakuhle. Kananjalo ngenxa yokuba kuyilinga ukumtyhila yonke into ukuze ikwazi ukuba yintoni inyoka eye yamfudumala esifubeni. Musa ukwenza oku.
Isicwangciso: siba ngabantu abanomdla, shintshela "into" kwiintsebenziswano zobuhlobo.
Ukugcina yonke into kunokuphela kobuhlobo bokwenene phakathi kwakho nendoda ethandekayo yentombi yakho. Kuhle kakhulu ukuba unomdla kunye nomyeni wakhe. Oku kuya kumenza anandiphe ukunxibelelana ngaphandle kokuwela imida. Ngendlela, ubuhlobo obusondeleyo kule nguqulo yinyani - wena, kakuhle, uya kuqondana, kuba kungekhona into yokuba nisondelene nomfazi ofanayo.
Kukho iimeko, nangona kunjalo, eziphambene naso: sithandana naye ekuqaleni, siyaqhaqhazela, sithuthumela, kwaye yena-umqeshi otshatileyo, umlingane wakhe emsebenzini, umzalwana womhlobo, uyakhela amehlo akhe, kwaye akayi kukwazi ukuthatha inyathelo lokuqala . Isizathu salo sele sisezibophelelo ezikhoyo, uhlazo. Le yithuba apho kufika ixesha xa sifanele sicinge kwakhona malunga nokuba siya kuthatha umntu okanye nje sithandana naye. Kwaye kuphela ukuba ufuna ngokwenene umntu kwaye, ngaphandle koko, ukulungele ngaphakathi ngaphakathi ukubeka umngcipheko kwiimeko zakhe zomtshato, kufuneka uthathe iindlela ezilandelayo zokuqhuba "imfazwe".
Ukuba ubuhlobo bentsapho buyinto enhle, ukuba yonke into ilungile kwaye izinzile kulo mbini, loo mntu akayi kumshiya umfazi wayo naphi na, kwaye, mhlawumbi, akayi kuba mngcipheko ukungena ebudlelwaneni obungathandabuzekiyo nawe. Ngoko, ngakwelinye icala, awukwazi ukuvalelwa ukuzisola kwaye ungacingi ukuba uzama ukwakha ulonwabo kwintlungu yomntu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kufuneka uqaphele ukuba ungakanani umngcipheko onqatshelwe. Ngoko, ukuqala, qondisisa, nokuba umtshato wakhe unzima njengokuba ufuna ukucinga.
Kungekudala, ngokuchanekileyo leli qhinga elithandwa kakhulu ngabafazi abangatshatanga: yena wakhetha, wambeka embhedeni, watshata. Ngexesha elifanayo ndathenga izipho kum (kwiimeko ezimbi kakhulu - ndimdonsa nge-sleeve kwisitoreji kwaye ndabetha ngomunwe wakhe: "Ndifuna ukuba le ngxowani ibe nedayim kunye nale ngxowa").
Akuyena wonke umntu owuthandayo, kodwa isebenza kakuhle ngohlobo lwabantu "inkunzi-ngentambo," efuna ukulawulwa yinkwenkwe - ngokubanzi, phantse.
"I-Bull ngentambo" unokukwazi ukukhokelela ngendlela efanayo-incinci kwaye inamandla.
Sekude kwaziwa ukuba le yindlela efanelekileyo yokuhlaselwa. Umyalezo oyintloko: "Oo, ndibuthathaka kwaye ndingenakunceda, ndifuna umntu oqinileyo osondeleyo kuye onokukhusela, ukuxhasa, ukunceda, kodwa akunjalo. Ukuthi amandla ethu ekubuthakathaka kwethu, uShakespeare uthe kudala. Kwaye simkholelwa. Ngaphezu koko, ubomi buhlala bubonakalisa ubulungisa bakhe.
Eli qhinga lisebenza phantse njalo, kwanabantu abancinci - emva koko, ngubani ongakuvuyo ukuziva unamandla, phantse unamandla onke.
Ngokukhawuleza, makungamvumeli loo mntu ukuba ufuna ukutshata naye. Kumele aqale 'ukubandakanyeka' kwinkqubo yakho yosindiso ngonaphakade kwaye uqonde ukuba uya kupheleka ngaphandle kwakhe.
Lo mdlalo phantse uhlala unyawo olulinganayo . Kuyathakazelisa kubantu abanamandla, abazimeleyo, baxabisa amahlazi kunye nokuqhubela phambili, abathandekayo abanothando nabafazi abanamandla.
Ndiza kuthetha ngokukhawuleza - aba bameli besondo esomeleleyo akuninzi. Kwaye le ndlela yokunqoba indawo yayo yinkalo enzima, idinga ukugcinwa rhoqo kwetoni, kufuneka uqaphele lonke ixesha. Ukuba ungeva amandla okudlala rhoqo, musa ukuqala. Ukuphumelela kuninzi kuxhomekeke ekubeni umdlalo unako ukuhlukana njani intombi yakhe yangoku kunye nokuba ungakanani umdlali olungcono kunokuba yena.
Musa ukunyuswa kunye nomnqweno wokutshatyalaliswa ngokupheleleyo, kufuneka uhlale unobuthakathaka, uhlale ulahlekelwa isikhundla sokugqibela kwimfazwe yenkalo, ngaphandle koko uya kuwulahleka kakhulu - uya kuthusa amandla akho. Kodwa ngexesha elifanayo akafanele abe nomuvo wokuba udlala naye ekunikeleni.
Ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga ngenyama - indoda "yinto" yowesifazane ophethe naye ngokugcwele ngesondo, oko kukuthabisayo kunye nokwanelisayo. Umfazi oqhagamshelana rhoqo nendoda - nangayiphi na imeko, umfazi-kungakhathaliseki ukuba khona kwesitampu kwipasipoti okanye into yokuqhuba ifama ehlangeneyo kwenye. Ukuba, ngaphezu koko, akukho ubudlelwane bezesondo kunye nomfazi osemthethweni, okanye kwenzeke kakhulu kunqabile kwaye anganeliseki, ngoko, enye, iya kuba ngowona yowesifazane oyinyaniso, umfazi wenene. Ukuba umntu uthetha ngebhedi ngenye indlela okanye ngomnye, ngokwemizimba - isithembu.
Abasetyhini abatshatileyo, bahlala bekhululekile baze bathule-konke, injongo ifezekile, "ngoku ndiyam." Nangona kunjalo, indoda, kungakhathaliseki ukuba yayithandana kangakanani ne-ofisi ye-registry, emva kokuba umtshato, kwakhona, uphinde uvuselele. Emva kwexesha, uqala ukudibana nomfazi wakhe ngokusemgangathweni njengesancinza (umntu ohlala naye kunye nendawo yokuhlala yakho), ekugqithiseni kakhulu (njengento ekhululekile (okanye enganelisekiyo). Unokukuphepha kuphela ngenye indlela: kungekho kwiingcamango zakho kunye neemvakalelo zakho aziguquleli umntu oyintanda kuluhlu "lomyeni". Kwaye kufuneka siyikhumbule: indoda ihlala iphelela ngowesifazane onokukwazi ukunyamekela ngokunyanisekileyo, kuquka nokulala embhedeni.