Ngaba kufanelekile ukuqala ulwalamano olutsha nomyeni ongaphambili?

"Kwaye le ndoda, ndinike iminyaka engcono kakhulu yobomi bam?" - Ngokuqhelekileyo sicinga ngo "wethu" emva kokuhlukana. Kodwa ixesha lidlula kwaye ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala ngathi le "monster" luthando lobomi bakho ... Ngaba kulungele ukuqala ubudlelwane obutsha kunye nomyeni wakho wangaphambili kwaye ufuna into nantoni na?

Ngamanye amaxesha ukufumanisa ukuba kuyafaneleka ukuhlaziya ubuhlobo, ukuba iimvakalelo ziqhubeka, ngokwaneleyo ukuzibuza umbuzo wempendulo: awukwazi ukuphinde uphinde ufumane ukuba kukho ithuba?

Ukuthanda okwenene

Yintoni endiyenzayo ukuze ndithintele uthando lwangempela ukuba lungadluli? Funda ukuphulaphula. Zama ukungena kwindawo yeqabane. Cinga ukuba uxoxisana ngezoshishino: mamela umchasi wakho, vumelana naye, kwaye uze uzame ukuthumela inyaniso yakhe kuye. Funda ukuveza iimvakalelo. Yithi ubuhlungu, ukuba uziva buhlungu, uthi uthukuthele, ukuba kunjalo. Kwaye, ke, uthetha ngothando. Funda ukuthanda. Ebudlelwaneni, abantu bahlala bexhaphalana. Le yindlela yokungabikho ndawo: kunokuba unike iqabane lakho ithuba lokuhamba nawe ebomini, uyidonsa nawe ngamandla. Zithande ngokwakho, thanda umlingane kwaye ungafuneki kuye imvakalelo. Funda ukunika inkululeko. Kubalulekile ukuba ungadluli ngeemvakalelo zakho. Qondani: intsalela yothando iminyaniswe kwimiva epheleleyo.

Ukuba okanye kungekhona?

Iindaba ezilungileyo kulabo abangayazi ukuba kuyafaneleka ukuzama kwakhona ukuqala ulwalamano: ngokweengcali ezininzi zeengqondo, ukuba ufuna ngokwenene, ngoko usenokuthatha ithuba. Abalingani basesikhathini esidlulileyo banokukukhawulela ukuba uyayithanda okanye ukuba into ebudlelwane bakho ayilungiswanga, ayixelelwa. Khangela ngaphakathi ngaphakathi kwaye uzame ukuphendula umbuzo - uqhuba ntoni? Ukuba abantu baqhekeza, kodwa abazange bathi into ethile komnye nomnye, abazange baqonde konke abakwazi ukubonakalisa ngokwabo, ngoko umnqweno wokubuyela uya kuhlala. Iimbono zam - ukuba awukwazi ukususa umntu kwimemori, kuyacaca ukuba uzame kwakhona. Kuphela kungekudala, kodwa ngendlela entsha. Mhlawumbi, ukubona okunye ulwalamano okanye umntu ngokwakhe. Kufuneka uqonde ukuba ngaba iziphoso oye waphula ngazo, iimvakalelo zakho ziphezulu, nokuba ulungele ukuwamkela iqabane lakho njengalo. Ukuba unomdla, kufuneka uthathe othandekayo kunye nazo zonke "iimpazamo" zakhe. Futhi uthathe uxanduva lokukhetha: "Ndizenzele mna, kungekhona kuye, umtshato, njl.". Ukuba iimvakalelo zombini zigcinwe, ukuhlukana kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo njengexesha lokuhlalutya kwimeko. Xa abantu ababini banquma ngokuzithandela ukuhlala ngokwahlukileyo, baze baqonde ukuba abakwazi ukwenza ngaphandle komnye, kuthetha ukuba kukho ujikelezo olutsha lwezobudlelwane obuvuthiweyo ngaphambili. Bazama ukuqonda ukuba ngubani na oko kwakungalunganga. Ukuya kuxolelwaniso ngaphandle kokwenza izigqibo asikwazi. Ngoko siba ngabaqolileyo kwaye silumke. Ukuba iimvakalelo zigcinwe - ulwalamano aluphelelanga. Oku kukhokelela, ngakwesinye icala, ukulahleka kwamandla ngokucinga malunga neqabane, kunye nakwezinye, kwandisa amathuba okuphindaphinda kweengxaki kwiimeko ezizayo. Ngako oko, kuyimfuneko okanye ichanekile ukuzalisa olu dlelwane, oko kukuthi, ukubonga umlingane kuzo zonke izinto ezilungileyo ezenzeke phakathi kwakho kunye nokuthetha okanye ukuphinda uxoxe ngeengxaki ezingakhange zisombulule kwixesha elidlulileyo.

Musa ukuphinda iimpazamo

Ngoko, injongo icacile: ukuzihlonela kunye nokuvumelana nawe kunye nehlabathi elikujikelezayo. Kodwa njani ukuphumeza oku? Ngolunye lweengcali zineendlela kunye nezindlela zabo, ababelana ngazo nawe. Ukuba usasaqhekeka, landela iziphakamiso ezimbalwa. Coca ifoto kunye nenjongo yothando lwakho. Ungazivumeli ukuba uxoxe ngezi nxu lumano. Yiya kwiiklasi zolwimi, ngena ukudansa, yoga, xakeka. Qalisa uhambo. Into eyona nto kukungena "emidala emitsha" kungekhona ngenjongo yokuphindezela, kodwa ngenjongo yokuqonda into ethile nakwezinye umntu. Xa ubeka injongo yokuqaphela into enikwe yona lo mntu, kwaye wena ngenxa yakhe, ngoko nonke niba nethuba "lokukhula." Kwaye kuyacaca ukuba uyadinga njani. Kwaye, ke, musa ukukhetha kunye nabathandekayo bakho. Ukuba uyathanda kwaye uyathandwa eqinisweni. Umnqweno wokubuyisela ubudlelwane obuye wabuhlungu, unokudibene nenzuzo yesibini kubandezeleka. Ngokomzekelo, abantu bafuna ukugcina umfanekiso wabo: Ndimnene kangangokuba ndamxolela ... Ngalokhu, kunokubakho ukwesaba. Ngokomzekelo, uloyiko lokungaphumeleli kwimisebenzi kwaye uqikelele ukungabikho komsebenzi wakho ngomqathango wokunyamekela umyeni wakho nabantwana. Ukuba waqhekeka ixesha elide waza wagqiba ukubuyela, ndincoma kakhulu ukuba iqabane lizamkelwe njengalowo. Yonke le miphumo emihle yesiqingatha sakho sesibini ibhonacons nje idibanisa nawe into enothando lwakho. Ukuba ufunda ukungaqapheli izinto ezincinci, umanyano wakho uya kuba yinto ende kwaye iqinisekile. Ukuhlaziya ubuhlobo, kufuneka uxoxe kunye neqabane lakho:

- yintoni na yam (kwaye yedwa yam!) Umrhumo ekudalweni kweengxaki zethu;

- into endiyithembisayo ukuba ndiyenze kwaye ndingenzi ngoku malunga nexesha elizayo;

- Luhlobo luni lenkxaso endiyidingayo kumlingane?

- ukuba ndiziva (kuyafuneka ukuba ndixelele iqabane lam malunga nemvakalelo yam);

- Dweba umfanekiso wexesha elizayo, elikhuthazayo zombini (ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuphikisana akuphazamisi nokudala lo mfanekiso);

- ukuthetha oko ndikulungele ukuhlawula ukuzaliswa kwalo mfanekiso. Kwaye ungabuzi nto into evela kumlingane ngokubuyisela!