Kwintlalo, kucingwa ukuba akukho buhlobo phakathi kwendoda kunye nomfazi. Nangona indoda kunye nowesifazane badibene nokufana okufanayo kwemisebenzi, umsebenzi, ukuncedisana, intlonipho. Kuphela kuphela xa abahlobo bezo zesini esifanayo. Kwaye ukuba kule meko sele sele usenentsapho. Apha, ukucinga ngeemvakalelo kunye naluphi na ubuhlobo obusondeleyo naye alufanelekanga. Ubuhlobo obunjalo kumgaqo unelungelo lokuba khona, kuphela kufuneka ubenze nabahlobo nesigxina sakhe sesibini - umfazi wakhe osemthethweni. Ufuna ukuzithemba kwimeko kwaye uthembele ukuba uya kuthetha nawe. Ngaphandle koko, oku kulungile kwaye akulungile (ngokumalunga nalo). Kungakhathaliseki ukuba uluntu lwalukholelwa njani, unokwenza ube ngumhlobo nabani na, into ephambili kukukwenza ngokufanelekileyo kunye nengqondo, ngaphandle kokugqithisa imida kunye nemida yokunxibelelana. Kucacile ukuba kuqondwe kakuhle iinjongo eziza kubakhokela ezo ntsapho. Kodwa ixesha kuphela liza kubonisa iinjongo zesiphakamiso somntu otshatileyo, efuna ubuhlobo nawe, efihliweyo. Ukuba ulungele ukufunda kwaye uzame ngendlela efanelekileyo. Ndicinga ukuba kunokwenzeka ukuhlukanisa ubudlelwane obusondeleyo kwiimpawu ezinzulu. Amacebo olwalamano nolwalamano kulula ukuqonda kunoma yintoni umxholo woluntu oqhagamshelwano. Ukuba ukhetha ukwenza oku, khumbula umyalelo omnye: kunye nendoda esitshatileyo, kufuneka uziphatha ngokucophelela kwaye uhlale unamathele kwimida, kuba phakathi kobuhlobo bakho unokuhlala uqhuba iimvakalelo ezingafaniyo. Ngoko ke, zibeka okokuqala kungekhona njengomntu, kodwa njengomhlobo-ntombazana. Qonda ukuba akayenawe, kwaye awunayo ingqiqo ekukhuseleni ubudlelwane obusondelene egameni lomntu "onothando". Kodwa ke wamkela isipho kwaye unabangane. Yilungele ukuba kwiimeko ezininzi awukwazi ukuyiqonda. Emva koko, unokuphila ngendlela eyahlukileyo. Ngaba usapho? ungatshatanga. Uzimelela kule nto okanye loo mbandela, ubiza rhoqo umfazi wakhe kwaye ukuba ufuna ukuhamba naye ngokukhawuleza. Lo ngumhlobo okhethekileyo, oya kuba nzima ukunika iingcebiso kunokuba umfundi olula. Ngendlela, nje ngenxa yombuso wakhe emtshatweni, uya kubonisa ngokubonakalayo ebonakalayo phezu kwakho. Oku kuya kubandakanya ukuba umntu otshatileyo, uhlala ecinga ukuba unamava ebomini kwaye ahlale ehlala, uya kuzama ukunyanzelisa ukuba ungubani na ongeyayazi, nantoni na ulwalamano lwangempela noluthando ngokubanzi. Kuba wena, ngokuthe ngqo, ubuhlobo obunjalo bunokuba ngumzekelo ocacileyo wendlela izinto ezenzeka ngayo ebomini bentsapho. Njalo, unokubuza malunga nale nto okanye loo ngxaki, apho aya kukutyhilela kwimeko ehluke ngokupheleleyo. Ukususela kwimbono yomntu okhulileyo. Kodwa ukuba umntu otshatileyo unika ukuba ngumhlobo, kuye kuye ukuba anqume ukuba uyakwenza, nguwe kuphela. Into ephambili, funda ukwahlula iminqweno yakhe kwaye ungakulibala ukuqonda ngokwakho oko ukulindele kuyo.
Ukuze kuphephe ukunakekelwa, kwimeko enjalo kufanelekile ukwazi i-psychology yomntu otshatileyo. Ngaloo ndlela uza kuba nako ukulawula imeko kwaye ugweme ukungaqondi. Emva kwakho konke, wena, ndicinga, akuyiyo yonke into ejongene nayo, khangela ingxaki entloko yakho. Yiza, ngenxa yokucaca, siya kuzama ukufumanisa: indoda esatshatileyo, into efana nayo, indlela ayithatha ngayo amanye amantombazana, into ayifunayo ebomini nokuba ngaba unenzuzo enjalo njengentsapho, nokuba uyayifuna inkosikazi. Masiyeke ngokwemimiselo idibanatikov yethu ibe ngamaqela amathathu. Kuyokuqala, siya kubhenela, ininzi "inqabileyo" kunye nentsapho ethembekile. La madoda ayinyanisekileyo abadinga ubuhlobo obuqhelekileyo, kuba, ngaphandle kokuba umfazi kunye nabahlobo abathandana nabo, akanalo i-millet. Ayivakala ingonakali, yinto enqabileyo yomntu, kodwa kusekhona kwinani layo elincinane elihlala kulo mhlaba. Kuwe ngokwenene uya kubaphatha njengomhlobo kwaye akukho nto. Uyayibona, okokuqala, ukuba zonke izihloko zayo ziya kuncitshiswa kwiziko elilodwa eliphambili elibizwa ngokuthi "intsapho yam". Iqela le sibini ngabantu abangazi kakuhle ngokwabo: into abayifunayo ebomini. Zifana nokuba zihamba ngeenqwelo-moya kunye nexesha elifanayo zixhomekeke ngokuqinisekileyo kwintsapho. Uphathwe njengendlela yokugcina indawo (umthandi kwindawo egcinwe kuyo). Kodwa ukuba ungamlingeli, abayi kuze bathathe isinyathelo sokuqala. Banobubele ukuncoma kwaye banentlalontle. Kukho nawaphi na amabakala akho bazama ukufumana isicatshulwa baze bazibuze. Into ephambili kukuba kulungiswe ngexesha. Uhlobo lwesithathu ngabayeni abangafanelanga ubomi babo bentsapho ukuba bafanele ukuba bangaba nenkosikazi kwicala. Naluphi na umfazi kubo kuphela into ephathelene nesondo. Apha ufanele ugcine amehlo akho evulekile, ngaphandle koko nawuphi na umqondiso ongaqondakaliyo wokubaluleka, ngakwakho, uya kuthathwa njengomqondiso ocacileyo wenceba. Uya kuzama ukukudonsa ukuba alele embhedeni kuzo zonke iindlela nezindlela. Yaye luhlobo luni lobuhlobo? Ngokuqhelekileyo banokuzithemba nokuzidla. Yaye ukuba awufuni ukuziva ngathi unkosikazi, kufuneka ulahle ubungane nomntu onjalo.
Ngoko ke konke oku ngasentla, ilungelo lokufikelela kwisiphetho kuphela kuwe. Kuye kuwe ukuba ube ngumhlobo osetshatileyo okanye inkosikazi. Oku kuyinyani ebomini kwaye akukho nto enokuyenza malunga nayo. Ukuba wena ngokwakho awukwazi ukuba uphendule njani umntu ngesiphakamiso sakhe, cingisisa ngako uze uvele ngaphakathi kwakho. Kwaye ngenxa yoko, mhlawumbi uya kufumanisa ukuba ufuna ukuzama into engaphezu kwakho - sihlobo. Yazi ukuba ubuhlobo noluthando lunesiseko esisodwa - ukuhlonipha nokuthembela, ngoko phakathi komntu otshatileyo kunye nomfazi ongatshatanga, zombini kunokwenzeka kwaye umda wale miva uncinci. Kwaye, mhlawumbi, xa umntu otshatileyo ecela ukuba ngabahlobo, uthetha into engaphezu nje kokuhlala e-cafe kunye nexesha elithile. Ngaba ufuna umntu onjalo ebomini?