Kulula kwaye kuyamnandi ukuthetha kunye nentombazana enjalo, ngaphezu koko, ukulungele ukuxolela ezinjalo ezincinci njengama-socks ahlakazekile kunye nekomityi engahlambulukanga, kodwa kukho izinto ezingayi kuzinyamezela. Ngoko, sithetha ntoni na?
Ukuma komzwelo
Ukuba umntu ususwe ngexesha elinjalo, uzenzele ukuba akukho nto eyenzekayo, ngoko "iibhasiki" ezinokuzixolela zinokuxolela nganye. Okubi nakakhulu, ukuba kule meko wenza njengento ekhuselayo, yenza nayiphi na ibango, ngokuzithandela okanye ngokungafunekiyo ukuzama ukubangela ingxabano.
Ukuba umntu akakwazanga ukwanelisa umnqweno wesifazane wokuxhaswa ngokomzwelo, akukho nto inokumthemba kuye. Umfazi ngokwakhe kufuneka aqonde ukuba akunakwenzeka ukuba akwazi ukulungisa imeko-loo ndoda inyuselwa kwaye akunandaba ukuba ngubani obeka isandla sakhe kuyo, abazali okanye ubomi ngokwabo banyanzelisa ukuba ibe "iibhasiki".
Ewe, kukho ukungafani. Umzekelo, indoda efana nendoda ichitha ixesha kunye nentombazana, kodwa ukuyivakashela xa igula, isaba, kuba uhlala nabazali bayo. Apha umfazi usele uzama ukugqiba ukuba ngaba ufuna i-cavalier enamahloni.
Ukuhlaselwa
Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umntu uphelelwe ngumsindo, wayenxila kakhulu, ukhathele okanye uxinzelelekile, akanalo ilungelo lokuphakamisa isandla sakhe kumfazi. Kwaye akufuneki ukuba konke ukungena emlilweni-ukuphula i-idyll iyakwazi ukunyanzelisa okanye ukuhlambalaza amagama. Ngokwemvelo, ukuba ubudlelwane obunjalo buyehla, akunakwenzeka ukubiza abantu abanjalo abalungileyo. Ngaphezu koko, ngokuchasene nenkolelo eninzi, amazwi anjalo awaxolelwa ngabasetyhini bonke. Kwaye kukho na ukuqonda ukuxolela, ukuba kubekho igama elibi, kunye nokukhaba kwixesha eliqhelekileyo, ngokuqhelekileyo litshintsha umntu ongazange azive ephikisiwe, abe ngumtyholi kunye nomdaka, onokukwazi ukubiza kuphela umfazi wakhe, kodwa kubangele ukulimaza umzimba.
Abayidingi umlahleki
Emva kwakho konke udibana nabantu abaye batyhola nabani na, kuzo zonke iingxaki zabo, kodwa kungekhona bona? Kwaye imozulu iyabavimbela ekwenzeni into, kwaye umphathi uphazulisa into yokuba abazange baphakamise umvuzo, abazange baphakamise umvuzo, kwaye abantwana abazange banikezelwe, kuba abazange bamthobele. Ngokwemvelo, umfazi ohlala naye okanye odibana naye kukugweba ezinye zezono. Ingaba le ndlela yokuziphatha ifanelekileyo yindoda yangempela kwaye kuyafaneleka ukuba ihlaziswe, ihlaselwa rhoqo ngokungabi nabulungisa bomi? Kucacile ukuba akunqabileyo ukuba ibhinqa lijamelane noxinzelelo olunjalo lokungabi namthetho. Ngaba kufanelekile?
Abalahlekelwa ngabafazi yibo abafudumala iseli kwaye abonakalisi nasiphi na umnqweno wokutshintsha nantoni na ebomini babo ngendlela engcono. Ukulala ebhedeni, ongenamsebenzi onomdla, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izicwangciso zobuqu kunye nezobugcisa, kunzima indoda ukuba ibizwa ngokuba yindoda ephumelelayo, ekuya kubakho abafazi abangcono kakhulu. Amadoda anjalo, asebenze iminyaka engama-20 endaweni enye, izicwangciso ezingezokwakha ixesha elizayo, ezixhambileyo xa ezama ukuzinqanda nokusebenza nje ngaphezu komvuzo omncinci, abanako ukubala ukuba nomfazi ophuphayo.
Thembiso? Ngoko, yenza njalo!
Umthetho wegolide, othi umntu kufuneka abe noxanduva lwamagama akhe, usebenza kwiintsebenziswano kunye nabasetyhini. Ukuba ummeli wesondo oqinileyo uthembisa isiqingatha sakhe sokuba baya kuchitha iiholide zikaMeyi phantsi kwelanga elifudumele laseTurkey, kodwa kude kube ngoMeyi-1 kukho iiveki, kwaye kungekhona nje loo nto, akukho nepasipoti, ingekho ipasipoti, icacile ngokucacileyo ukuba le ntokazi iya kuvakalelwa njani kule ngxaki. Umntu onoxanduva kufuneka aqonde ukuba ukuba akanako ukuzalisekisa isithembiso, ngoko akafanele anikwe.
Ngaphezu koko, le ndlela ifanele ilandelwe malunga naluphi na imeko. Ngoko ke, ukuba ibhinqa kwiinyanga ezintandathu ukuva ukubethelwa kwesikhalalo kwigumbi lokulala, ngokukhawuleza umonde wakhe uza kuqubuka, ibhinqa le-imam liza kukhonkcelelwa kwireferenda kwindlu yokuhlala esele ingenanto, kulindeleke ukuba omnye umfazi ophumelelayo uya kumluma wakhe omhle.
Enyanisweni, ukuba isicelo asikwazi ukufezwa ngenxa ye-fore-majeure - yinto enye, kodwa njengokuba kukho ukubonisa, kwiimeko ezininzi, ukugqashuka akuqhutyelwa ngenxa yokungahloneli umlingane okanye utywala. Kwaye oku kuhlaselwa ngama-scandals.
Ixesha elidlulileyo, lihlanganiswe ebumnyameni
Ukuba kumntu oneminyaka engama-90 utyhola imali ngendlela esemthethweni, unomfazi owayengumfazi obenabantwana ababini, wasebenzisa utywala, wazama iziyobisi waza wagqiba kwiimvavanyo ezingezizo zesondo, kungcono ukuxelela le ntokazi kumfazi. Kungenjalo kungenziwa ngumnye umntu kwaye kuya kuba nzima ukulondoloza ubudlelwane.
Ngokuqinisekileyo, akufanele ubeke zonke iinkcukacha ze-biografi yakho ngosuku lokuqala, kodwa ukuba unqumle kwiimvakalelo ezinzulu, umntu wesibini kufuneka awazi iinkcukacha zobomi bakhe obudlulileyo. I-Pravdacan inokutshabalalisa ubudlelwane, kodwa ukuba ibhinqa liyamkela umntu kwaye lixolela zonke izono ezidlulileyo, ubuhlobo obuvela kulo buya kuzuza kuphela. Nangona inyaniso yokuba bonke abanamandla baya kugqiba ekuhlulekeni, kodwa ke umfazi kufuneka abe nokukhetha kwaye akwenze kumntu ongafanelekanga, kuba akuyiyo imfihlo yokuba bambalwa abantu abanokuphucula inyaniso-ininzi kuthi sizama ukuyeka ixesha elidlulileyo kwixesha elidlulileyo. Kodwa akukho mntu unokuqinisekisa ukuba kumzuzwana onzima umkhono awuyi kutsalwa kwiglasi okanye isirinji, kodwa abantwana bakho abadibeneyo abayi kushiywa kwaye balibaleke, njengabantwana bomtshato ongaphambili.
Bantwana abafihliweyo
Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu oneminyaka engama-40 ubudala, ongenabantwana, ubangela ukusola. Ngokuqhelekileyo, ukuba i-specimen engatshatanga idibana nomfazi, kusekho umtshato, kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo i-neodin, apho abantwana bashiywe khona. Kwaye ngaphambi kokuba akhe indlu kunye nomntu onjalo, umfazi udla ngokubanzi iinkcukacha ukufumanisa ukuba luhlobo luni lobudlelwane bakhe nomzala wakhe abaxhasa. Ngoko ke, ukuba indoda, eyahlukana nomfazi wayo wangaphambili, ayiyikulibala abantwana bayo, ithatha inxaxheba ekukhuliseni kwabo, ibanceda ngezinto eziphathekayo, izama ukuchitha ixesha elininzi kunye nentsapho yayo kunokwenzeka, yonke into ilungileyo, unomntu ofanelekileyo kulo mbandela. Kodwa ukuba umntu uyayigcina ngokupheleleyo imisebenzi yakhe, akabonakalisi umnqweno wokuqhagamshelana ne-saddles, ubona kanye ngonyaka kwaye akanandaba neengxaki zabo - kubi.
Ukuziqhelanisa kubonisa ukuba kulula ukuba umfazi amthande umntwana kunokuba aqonde kwaye amxolele umntu ongakhathaleli abantwana bakhe. Apha, ngokuzeleyo, isiko soomama sibonakaliswe kwaye ukungahoywa kwamabhinqa kubantwana akuxolelwe.
Uthando luyithintelo enkulu
Cinga ukuba uphila ubomi obuqhelekileyo, ngezinye iinkhathi uye ecaweni, ubeke ikhandlela, ucele uThixo uncedo. Nantsi udibana nomntu onqulo ogcina yonke imfuno ye-Icannons. Kubonakala ngathi oku kubi, kuba akayaphuzi okanye abhema, uthanda abantwana, ucinga ukuba ukunyaniseka kuyisono esibi. Kodwa ngokukhawuleza xa kuvela ukuphikisana, umfazi akanakunzima ukumelana namabango ukuba akayi kugcina ngokupheleleyo isithuba sokukhawuleza, akasifaki i skirt ende. Ewe, ukuba ngaba bobabini bobabini bahambisana nemithetho efanayo yokuphila, kubaluleke kakhulu, ngaphandle koko nawuphi na umntu onjalo "onelungelo" uya kusinda.
Kwaye oku akusebenzi kuphela kwinkolo. Indoda, umlobi wokuloba, u-amateur ukuya kuzo zonke iimidlalo zemidlalo yebhola, ukuxhamla imishini yamashishini, akunakwenzeka ukugcina. Kwinqanaba labaxhasi, omnye unokubandakanya i-workaholics, umsebenzi wakhe uhlala kwindawo yokuqala, yesibini, yesithathu nendawo yesithathu ebomini. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu onesimo sengqondo esingenabungozi nakweyiphi na ishishini unikezelwe kwisifundo esinye, umnika lonke ixesha lakhe, amandla afana, nokuba umhlobo osisigulane uya kusinda kuye.
Ingqondo engaziwayo
Amanye amadoda ayicinga ukuba ayengaziwa. Kwaye ukuba umntu oqondekileyo oza kuphuma kunye nomxholo onjalo kunye nezicwangciso ezingenziwanga kakuhle, uya kuzama ngawo onke amandla akhe ukuba angamvumeli kwisangqa salamano abasondeleyo. Kwaye ukuba esenayo, emva koko, esavumelene nolwalamano olunjalo "nomoya" we-museum unokukhawuleza abe yinto yokuhlekwa usulu, ngenxa yokuba ayifumananga izicwangciso zokudala. Ngaphezu koko, umfazi onjalo uyamtyholwa ngokungaxhasi umculi ongaziwayo olungele ukuhlala ngonaphakade kwiindleko zakhe, ukufihla emva kwesigxina sokudala.
Uya kumangaliswa, kutheni kuloluhlu uluhlu olubi, ukunyaniseka, ukuthotywa? Kulula: iimeko ezichazwe ngasentla zibangelwa ukuma komzwelo, ukungagqibekanga, ubuvila, esiye sichaza njengomnye. Ngenxa yoko, ukuxolela umntu ukuziphatha kakubi, abafazi bafanele baqonde ukuba oko kuqhubeka kukubi nakakhulu.