Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukuyiqonda imeko kwaye uvume ngokunyanisekileyo ukuba ulungile. Amantombazana amaninzi ahlala ecinga ngombuzo: yintoni enokuyenza xa abafana bacinga ukuba ndiyingozi, kodwa baqiniseke ngokufanelekileyo.
Ngelishwa, oku akunjalo ngaso sonke isikhathi. Ukuba umntu ozolile onomdla we-Nordic, obaluleke kakhulu kuye, kuya kuba noxolo nobulumko bentombazana ehlala ehlala kwiimeko. Kodwa amantombazana akakwazi ukwenza oku rhoqo. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuba loo mntu ucinga ukuba ibhinqa elifanelekileyo ngumfazi onokuhlala ephulaphula aze ancede ukwenza isigqibo esikhokelwa yingqondo, kungekhona imizwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo, amadoda ayibonakali ukuba ayidinga uncedo oluvela kwisini esibuthakathaka, kodwa, kunjalo, bayayidinga ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunokuba sicinga.
Sinokuyiqonda njani ukuba iimeko zithini intombazana enokujonga ukuba intombazana ayikwazi ukuhlangabezana neemvakalelo zakhe. Okokuqala, kwenzeka ntoni xa ibhinqa liqala ukwenza ingxaki kuyo nayiphi na inkcukacha kwaye ayikwazi ukuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza iingxabano. Umfana ubona loo ntokazi ibhinqa eliyingozi, eliqala ukugubha iingcango, amaqabunga, litsho ukuba akayidingi kuyo yonke into, kwaye ke akanako ukunika iingxabano ezifanelekileyo. Ewe, ebudeni bokuba "ndatshitshiswa" ngamaninzi amaninzi kubonakala ngathi bathetha izinto ezifanelekileyo nefanelekileyo. Enyanisweni, oku kuphosakeleyo. Ngokwemvelo, kukho amaxesha apho umntu ngokwakhe eneengxaki zeentloni aze abone ukuhlambalaza kunye nehlazo elincinci kunye nefuthe elincinci. Kwimeko apho, ukuba unesiqiniseko sokuthi uziphatha ngokufanelekileyo, kufuneka uzibuze: ngaba le meko iyamkeleka kwaye ndiyakwazi ukuhlala nomntu onjalo? Ngokuqinisekileyo, kunzima ukucinga ngengqiqo, ngenxa yokuba uthando kunye nokuqiqeshana zivame ukungahambelani, kodwa kusadingeka ucinge ngemiphumo yobudlelwane bakho obungabi buhlungu kuwe.
Ngendlela, ukuze uqonde ukuba ungumntu onobungozi ngokwenene, kuyafaneleka ukuphulaphula izimvo zabanye kwaye uyakuqonda ngokwaneleyo kwaye uyayiqonda. Ukuba ngaba ubona abantu abaninzi abasondeleyo kuwe abanqwenela kakuhle, kubalulekile ukuzinyamekela kwaye uphinde ucinge ngokuziphatha kwakho. Khumbula ukuba nokuba umntu ozolileyo uhlale eselula, akayi kumela olunye usuku kwaye ahambe. Kwaye ke akukho zicelo, okanye ukukhala, okanye iinyembezi ziyakunceda.
Ukuze ugweme ukuphuhliswa kweziganeko, kuqala kokufunda ukufunda ukuzilawula. Ukuba uqonda ukuba awuyithandi into eyithethayo loo mfana, musa ukuthetha into yokuqala efika engqondweni, kwaye ungayi kukhwaza. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awukwazi ukuzibamba, ubuncinane uphume kwelinye igumbi, umemele "malunga nawe," ukukhulula iimvakalelo uze ubuye. Ngoku ukuba udibene, nangona loo mfana engakulungile, unako ukuhlambalaza ngombono wakho kwaye ungamcindezeli ngokukhala kunye neinyembezi.
Kwakhona, akufanele uphendule nantoni na ongayithandiyo, ngeli binzana: awuthandi. Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo akufanele ufune umfana ukuba athethe la mazwi. Amadoda ngokuqhelekileyo akavumi ukuthetha rhoqo ngothando lwabo, kodwa phantsi kwengcinezelo nangakumbi. Ngoko, ungamgxeka umfana wakho ngenxa yokuba engakuthandi. Khumbula ukuba uthando aluzange lugqithise ngokuthobela ngokupheleleyo kunye nemvume. Umntu onomthandayo unelungelo elipheleleyo kwiingcamango zakhe kwaye akhulume. Zama ukuphulaphula nokuqonda, kwaye xa kungavumelani ukuchaza ngokucacileyo indawo yakho.
Ngendlela, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba abahlaziyi bezona zinto zibuhlungu kakhulu kulabo bantu abanomntu ozolileyo kunye nohlobo lwezentlupheko. Abantu abahlaselayo abayikunyamekela ingqalelo kubangcikivo, kuba bona ngokwabo bathanda ukufumana ubudlelwane kwiitoni eziphakamileyo ngenxa yezizathu. Kodwa abantu abaxhamlileyo bathula ixesha elide, musa ukuveza into embi kwiintombi zabo, kodwa emphefumlweni wabo baqokelela umsindo kunye nokudumala. Yaye xa le mvakalelo igqithisa indebe yomonde, loo mfana uveza yonke into (kwaye inomsindo uloyiko) kunye namaqabunga. Ngendlela, awuze ufune ukumisa umntu, ukuba uthe nje ngoku ufuna ukuhamba okanye kwindawo ethile ukuhamba yedwa. Enyanisweni, akayi kukushiya, kodwa ufuna nje ukuzola iimbilini zakhe, kungabi kukutshilo into enokumkhathaza kwaye engenzi buhlungu. Ukuba uqala ukumisa umfana, ukumemeza, ukuhlambalaza, ukucela ukuba uhlale, uthathe izitshixo zakhe, ibhatyi okanye ibhatyi, kuyacaphukisa, kwaye uqala ukuthukuthela ngakumbi. Ngoko ke, kungakhathaliseki ukuba ufuna ukumnqanda kangakanani, vimbela kwaye uvumeleke ukuba ahambe. Kungenzeka ukuba, malunga nemizuzu engamashumi amabini uya kubuya kwintsikelelo.
Kwakhona, abaninzi abafazi baqala ukubola phantsi kwefuthe lotywala. Inyaniso kukuba utywala buphazamisa ukuqonda kwezinto eziyimpumelelo kwaye kusenza sonke sibe ne-hyperbolize. Ngoko ke, ukuba uyazi ukuba utshwala kunokukhokelela ekukrakheni, ungaphuzi nonke okanye uzenzele loo dose engayi kuba yimpumelelo. Cinga, emva kokuba utywala kangakanani uqala ukubona into engekho, bhala uze ukhawuleze, kwaye khumbula okuqhelekileyo. Emva koko unokulawula ukuxhatshazwa kwakho kwaye uhlale engqondweni engqondweni kunye nememori eqinileyo.
Ewe, nangona umntu esicinga ukuba umfazi wakhe unxungupheko, unokuhlala naye kunye nobomi bakhe bonke kwaye azinyamezele ukuziphatha kwakhe. Kodwa, ukuba uyamthanda lo mntu, cinga malunga neentlungu kunye nempilo asebenzisa ngayo amaqhinga akho kunye nokuba kubi kangakanani kuye - kufuneka wenze into ukuba umfana ucinga ukuba unobungozi. Yiloo nto ifanele ibe yimbangela enkulu yokufunda indlela yokulawula iimvakalelo zakho kwaye uziphathe ngokufanelekileyo nasiphi na imeko. Ukuba wenza oku, unokuba ngumfazi owonwabileyo nothando kule hlabathi.