Izizathu Zempindiselo
Ukuba ukuqinisekiswa ngenye yezinto zobunjani bakho, ke akukho zizathu ezikhethekileyo zokubangela ukuphazamiseka kwabanye, akuyimfuneko. Abantu abanjalo baziphindezela ngegama elingacwangciswanga kunye nokuziphatha kakubi.
Ukuba uyazi indlela yokugcina iimvakalelo zakho ezandleni zakho kwaye ulungele ukuxolela abantu ngenxa yeepazamo zabo, ukuziphindezela ngenxa yakho yindlela ekhuselekileyo. Impindezelo ayikho into ebizwa ngokuba ngumthombo wobungendawo, kuba umnqweno wokuphindiselela ubangelwa iimvakalelo ezimbi kakhulu, zivuyisa yonke isiseko esisemntwini. Ngenxa yokuziphindezela, abantu banquma ukwenza izenzo ezingaqhelekanga kunye nezikhohlakeleyo, okungazinzima ukuzilindela ubomi obuqhelekileyo.
Iingcali zengqondo ziqaphele ukuba abantu abanokuzithoba, isimo sengqondo esiyinkimbinkimbi nge-ego yabo, abanelisekile, abachaphazelekayo kunye nabuthathaka banokuhlanza. Isiphi na isenzo esingahambiyo ngabo bazama ukukhubekisa okanye ukucaphukisa, ngoko bazama ngazo zonke iindleko ukubonisa ubungqina babo, obuninzi abaphikisana nantoni na.
Mhlawumbi isizathu esivame ukusiphindezela ngumona. Kuthandweni apho amanxeba amaninzi ayetyenziswe kuthi kwaye uthando luxabiseke ngaphezu kwazo zonke. Ngoko ke, nayiphi na into eyenziwa ngabani na ukuba bangenelele kwimicimbi yentliziyo ibangela umnqweno wokubaphazamisa kwi-bud kunye nokufundisa umoni lowo isifundo. Ngamanye amaxesha imbono yoluntu ifumana isizathu sokuziphindezela, kodwa loo nto iyanqabile. Ubomi obuqhelekileyo kukho konke okufanelekileyo.
Indlela yokuziphindezela?
Isigqibo sokuphindezela umntu uza, njengommiselo, ekutshiseni iimvakalelo. Kodwa akufanelekanga ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa enjalo. Cinga ngento oza kuyenzeka ngayo xa ubuyisela? Ngaba uyayifundisa loo nto into ethile, okanye ngaba uya kwenza abantu abaninzi bacaphuke? Ngaba ufanele uhlonipheke okanye ngaba abantu bacinga ukuba unamathele kakhulu kwizinto oqhele ukuzenza ingqalelo? Ngaba wena uya kuba ngcono xa ungenzi into embi kumntu, ngenxa yokuba wena ngokwakho awunakuthola iimvakalelo ezimnandi ezenzweni zabanye? Kubalulekile ukucinga kunye nokuzola, njengoko kubonakala ngokucacileyo ukuba impindezelo ayiyona ndlela kuphela yokuphuma. Akusiyo into abayithethayo isidlo esidinga ukudliwa ebandayo, kuba ngokukhawuleza kunye nemvakalelo kunokwenzeka ukuba umntu uya kwenza iimpazamo, kwaye angayilungisi imeko.
Umgaqo obalulekileyo wokuphindezela uwanele. Khetha iindlela ezingayi kunciphisa kwaye zibale ukwenzela ukuba ukubuyisela kwakho kungabonakali ngathi ubhubhile ubomi bomntu nje ngokuba wakubheka ngokumangalisayo. Ngaphandle koko, ixhoba emehlweni abanye akuyi kuba nguwe kwaye, ngokufanelekileyo, sonke isigwebo siya kufika kuwe. Kubalulekile ukuqonda ngokucacileyo imiphumo yezenzo zakho, kuba abantu abaphuphuthelwe yinkxwabo yokuziphindezela, iinxalenye ziya kwiingxabano kungekuphela kwabanye, kodwa kunye nomthetho. Enyanisweni, kuphela amanyathelo ambalwa kunye nezobugwenxa ezifanele ukuziphindezela, kwiimeko ezininzi zempindezelo zibukeka njengelinga elincinci lokubonisa into kwabanye okanye kubo. Yiyiphi, okwenyani, ayipende umntu. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuqinisekiswa ngokuqhelekileyo kukhokelela kwimiphumo enjalo ukuba kwakunzima ukuqikelela kwaye le miphumo iyazisola into awayenzayo, kodwa imva kakhulu ukulungisa into ethile.
Ukugqiba ukuphindiselela, asisoloko sicinga ngeemvakalelo zabanye abantu. I-NM ayikhathazeki ukuba umoni lowo unokubandezeleka ngokuphindaphindiweyo kunathi. Sivame ukuqwalasela izikhalazo eziqhelekileyo kunye nomnqweno wotshaba ukuya kuxolelwaniso. Ukuziphindezela kuphela ngenxa yokuziphindezela kunokuba yintsikelelo ebomini kuphela, esoloko isoyika. Mhlawumbi ukuba unquma ukuvumela ukuba iimvakalelo zipholile, ngoko kufuneka ukuba uphinde uziphindiselele okanye ukukhethwa kweendlela kuya kuba yinto efanelekileyo