Ulwalamano oluhambelanayo kwintsapho, ngokusekelwe ekubukeni. Ukongezelela, ukubulela kuyimfihlo ebalulekileyo yentsapho yoluntu. Umthandazo sibonisa ukubonga kwethu kuThixo yonke into akwenzileyo kwaye asenzele yona, kwaye sihlala sikhohlwe ngokubulela kumntu esimthandayo osinika uthando nokunyamekela. Kwaye amaninzi amaninzi, asikwazi nokuba sichaze njani.
Okokuqala, makhe sibone ukuba uxabiso luni. Ngoko ukubonga kuthetha "ukulungele ukunika", ngaphandle koko kuthetha ukunika umntu, into enhle kuye.
Wonke umfazi, ngokuqinisekileyo, uyamkhathalela ngomyeni wakhe, njengoko eyazi indlela. Ngaba kunokwenzeka kulo mzekelo ukuqwalasela ukunyamekela kwakhe? Mhlawumbi ngezinga elithile unako. Nanku kukho "kodwa", ekubeni indoda, inxalenye yayo, inakekela umfazi wayo. Uninzi kunokwenzeka, kwintsapho lokhu kwabiwa kwemisebenzi, ngoko loo ndoda ithatha inkathalo enjalo ngolu hlobo, umzekelo, umyeni unikela umfazi umvuzo.
Ngoko ke, ukuze intsapho ihlakulele ubudlelwane obuhambelana phakathi komfazi nomyeni, kufuneka kubekho into eyahlukileyo, ngaphandle kokunyamekela omnye nomnye.
Nanku umbuzo uvela: yintoni ebalulekileyo kunoma yimuphi umntu, ngaphandle kokwanelisa iimfuno zakhe ezibalulekileyo?
Okokuqala, ngokuqinisekileyo kuyimemezelo yothando. Nangona kunjalo, kukho enye ingxaki apha. Inani lokuvuma umntu ngamnye kufuneka likhethwe ngokuthe ngqo. Abanye abantu baqonda ukunakekelwa kwansuku zonke njengobonakaliso obaneleyo bothando kwaye abadingi amagama angaphezulu. Ngako oko, kuya kufuneka ube kunye nomyeni wakho, ukuze ufumane ukuba kaninzi kangangeentsuku (mhlawumbi ngeveki okanye ngenyanga) kuya kufuneka uwamkele ngothando, ukuze azive ekhululekile.
Okwesibini, oku kukudumisa. Akwanele ukuphendula ekunyamekeleni kwendoda yakhe ngokunyamekela kwakhe. Kumele umdumise, mvume kuye ukuba uyakuthanda oko akwenzayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukubonakalisa ukuqaphela ngamagama ukuba unomdla wokuba umyeni wakho abe nemvakalelo efudumeleyo efana neyokuqala kwendlela yakho yokuphila ixesha elide kunokwenzeka.
Nabani na umntu othanda ukudunyiswa, kwaye ukuba umntu aqonde isidima sakhe okanye udumo, phantse imfuno engxamisekileyo. Ekuqaleni, xa wayekuthandana naye, ukuthanda kwakho kwakungenxa yokuvuma. Emva koko, inyaniso yokuba uvumelekile ukutshata naye, naye, wayeyiqonda isithunzi sakhe. Ukuze uqiniseke ukuba nguyena kwaye uyena mhle kuwe, yena, emva koko konke oku, kufuneka adlulwe ngokuqhubekayo ebomini bakhe.
Xa, ngenxa yezizathu ezithile, asidumisi amadoda ethu, aqala ukubola, njengomthi ongenamanzi. Ngamanye amaxesha kukhokelela ekubeni abayeni baqala ukujonga ngakwesobunxele apho baya kudunyiswa khona, apho baya kuziva 'beyona nto ibhetele.'
Omnye umbuzo uvela, ndimele ndidumise kangangoko umyeni wam? Njengoko isazi senzululwazi satsho, ukuba indoda ininzi indumiso ayenzeki. Kumawethu abafazi banokubonakala behlekisayo, kodwa kumntu oku kubaluleke kangangokuthi akakwazi ukuhlala ekwahlula ukuncoma kwintlonelo.
Ukudumisa kukuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, kukugqwesa ukuhlonipha isidima somyeni wakhe, ngoko ke ngoncedo lwakhe unokubonisa ukubaluleka kwezenzo zakhe. Nangona kunjalo, abahlali bethu besenza izinto esizibathandayo, kwaye ekuqapheliseni kuyayidinga rhoqo, kulo mzekelo, unokusebenzisa ukuncoma kunokuba udumise, umzekelo, ukukwenza ukuba ube neqhayiya kuyo nayiphi na impawu zendalo. Umzekelo: "Unamehlo enhle" okanye "unamandla anjalo".
Ukunconywa kobuqhetseba kuyahluke kukuba sikwenza ngokunyanisekileyo, siyixabisa iimpawu zomntu ngexesha elifanayo, kwaye ukunyaniseka kusetyenziswa xa sifuna into ethile ekubuyiseleni. Umzekelo, "Mzalwana, saqhekeza isiseko, ndandifuna ukubiza umnxibelelwano, kodwa ndacinga ukuba unokukwenza okungcono kunokuba akwenze. Unabo ngezandla zegolide! "
Masibhale. Yivume umyeni wakho ngothando, umdumise imihla ngemihla, kwaye uya kuyinyamekela ngomtshato wakho, kwaye ukususela ngoku uya kuzama ukwenza oko ukuze azuze udumo.
Ukuba ulwalamano lwentsapho luxhaswa ngumbulelo kwaye lwakhiwe ngokuthandana, ngoko umtshato uya kuhlala uhlala, kwaye ubomi bentsapho buyavuya ngakumbi.