Ngokutsho kweengqondo zengqondo, ukunyaniseka kwe-crystal kungonakalisa ubudlelwane kunye nomtshato. Ewe, oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka uxoxe nomlingane wakho ukuze uwasindise. Kodwa ukunyaniseka okugqithisileyo: "Uyingqamana yam, ngoko ndinokuthetha nayo yonke into!" - kungcono ukuba ugweme ngokungakumbi.
Ngokukodwa kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele kule mibuzo elandelayo.
Ngokuqhelekileyo unokuva amagama amadoda: "Lo mfazi unjengencwadi endiyifunayo." Andinomdla wokuyifunda kwakhona. Ewe, eneneni, isithwathwa sesiqingatha esihle sixhomekeke ngokunyaniseka kwaye sinokuthi sithembeke. Isilumkiso sabathengi beengqondo: awukwazi ukuxelela intanda yakho "konke-konke", kunokudumala indoda. Ngaphandle kokunyaniseka kungonakalisa ulwalamano olukhawuleza kunokuba buxoki.
Esinye isibetho sokuba ubudlelwane be-lynching ngumnqweno wesithandana wokubonakalisa ubuhlobo bakhe obutsha kunye nomntu owayengummangali ngaphambili, okanye khankanya iimpawu zengqalelo kunye nokunconywa ahlonishwa ngumqeshwa wakhe. Isilumkiso samadoda: musa ukucela intombi yakho imibuzo ngemibuzo yexesha lakhe elidlulileyo! Ukuba uthembekileyo ngesineke isigulane ubuza, "unani na phambi kwam?", Hlala kude neenkcukacha kwaye ungavumeli ukucaphukisa! Kungcono ukubuza isizathu sokuba unomdla? Emva kwakho konke, okwangoku unalo! Kwakhona, uzama ukumbuza imibuzo malunga nemicimbi yakhe yothando ngaphambi kokuhlangana kwakho.
Enyanisweni, apha iingqondo zeengqondo zivumela into enye: abathandi bayabonisana ngokuphathelele ubudlelwane obubalulekileyo kubo, nokuba ngaba ngumtshato okanye nje umtshato ohlala njalo. Kutheni oku kubalulekile? Ngaloo ndlela, unokukwazi kakuhle iqabane lakhe: yintoni ebalulekileyo kuye, kwaye yintoni engavumelekanga kwaye ayimkelekanga. Kodwa ukuba xa uvuma "ukuvuma" ufuna ukufumana izigqibo ezifana nalezi: "Wena ngokwakho makumvumele ukuba akusebenze", kungcono ukuba ungabizi ngokuzwakalayo. Kwixesha elizayo, iqabane lakho alikwazi ukubonisa ukuzithemba kwingxoxo kwaye iya kuba esilumkileyo, nje ungafuni ukwabelana nantoni nawe.
Enye ingongoma ebalulekileyo ubuhlobo nonina. Ungathethi ukuba awuyithandi. Inzondelelo phakathi kwentombi nomkhwekazi kaninzi kwaye, kwinqanaba elithile, into engokwemvelo, ayikwazi ukukholisa umhlobo wakho, kuba uya kuqothuka phakathi kwemililo emibili. Ubuzwa malunga nesimo sakho sengqondo kunina, unokuphendula into efana nale ndlela: "Ndiyabulela kakhulu ngenxa yokuba wayekhulele unyana onje!" - oku kuya kukwanela. Emva kwakho konke, awunakuyithandi ukuba uthe waqala ukuthetha kakubi ngabantu abathandekayo bakho? Khumbula kwaye uxolelane nombono wokuthi unina kumadoda amaninzi ngumntu obaluleke kakhulu!
Ukuba uqala ukungabaza, ukuba ulwalamano lwakho lunekamva, Kaloku, ucinga ngokuhlukana - ungagqibi ukuxelela iqabane malunga nalo. Masithi ukuba emva komncinci, ngombono wakho, ukuxabana, umyeni uthi: "Unyoko, ndicinga, mhlawumbi lixesha lokuba siqhawule ...?" Ngokukhululeka, ibinzana elikhutshweyo linokuphelisa. Ngako oko, kungcono ukuqala ukwenza amabango athile, udwebe uluhlu lwabo, kwaye ngokukhawuleza simema iqabane ukuba lixoxe ngeengxaki ezichazwe. Kungenzeka ukuba "ukungenasiphelo", ekubonweni kokuqala, ukuphikisana kunokucombulula lula.
Kodwa yiziphi izazi zeengqondo ezicebisa ukuba zingabambeli:
Umbuso wezempilo.
Ukuba ulwalamano lufumana isimo sexesha elide, iqabane lakho linelungelo lokuqonda izifo zakho. Ngokukodwa ukuba ngandlela-thile iyakuchukumisa ubomi bakho besikhathi esizayo.
Unqwenela ukuba nabantwana.
Lo mbuzo uxoxwa ngaphambi kokuba uthathe isigqibo sokutshata. Kwabanye abantu, ubukho babantwana bentsapho bunyanzelekile, abanye abantu abathandayo kuphela banokwaneleyo. Ukuba unengxaki yokukhulelwa, okanye awufuni ukuba nabantwana nangayiphi na isizathu, iqabane lakho kufuneka likwazi malunga nalo kwangaphambili. Ngendlela efanayo nomnqweno emva komtshato ukufumana inzala.
Iingxaki zangaphambili okanye zengxaki zomthetho.
Ugwetyelwe, okanye uyazi ukuba unokugwetywa - umntu onothando akunzima ukuyiqonda kwaye uyamkele ezi ngxaki ezingamnandi zobomi bakho. Kodwa ukuba uyazi malunga nayo, xa sele esele esatshatile, ukuqaphela kwakho kuya kuthathwa njengento yokukhohlisa kunye nokungcatsha, okunzima kakhulu ukuxolela.
Ubudala, imfundo kunye "nolunye ulwazi".
Ungazifanisi ukuba uphumelele kwiHarvard , ukuba ushiye unyaka wesine weziko lephondo. Ukuba awukwazi ukuvuma ukuba awunayo imfundo eyaneleyo, okanye uzama ukufihla iminyaka yakho, zibuze - kutheni? Ngaba ucinga ukuba uyayeka ukuthanda abantu abangafundanga, okanye ngenxa yokuba iminyaka ingaphezu kweminyaka emihlanu? Okanye mhlawumbi umthandi wakho omtsha unemfuno ephezulu kakhulu?
Umgangatho wakho wenzuzo, ityala, uxanduva.
Uhlahlo lwabiwo-mali lwakho lwexesha elizayo kunye nomgangatho wokuphila luya kulungiswa kangcono ngaphambi kokuba udibanise imali yakho enkulu ukuze ube nombono wento onokuyilindela. Ukuba ekuqaleni kwintsebenziswano ibhajethi iyakusindiswa, kungcono ukuba ungazami ukwenza ukuba iqabane lingenakucatshulwa ukuba uya kuba "kwiphokoleta" - ukudideka kungonakalisa yonke ingqiqo.