Abantwana ziintyatyambo zobomi, ngaphandle kokungekho mntu unokuzicingela ngokupheleleyo. Ubuncinane kaninzi bathi. Kodwa ukuba kukho imeko apho umntu akanako ukuba nabantwana bakhe okanye ngaba kufuneka amkele umntwana omnye njengomntwana? Ngaba uya kukwazi ukuhlala kwindawo eninzi entliziyweni njengomntwana wakhe? Ingaba indoda ingayithandana nomntwana okhulayo?
Xanduva
Ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuba uthathe umntwana okhulayo, ngoko kufuneka ulungele ukuba le ncinane imele ikhuliswe njengeyakhe. Kufuneka ube ngowakho. Yiyo eyayisongela abaninzi. I-Chastovpominayutsya amabinzana athi igazi alikho amanzi kunye nezihlobo zegazi kuphela ezikufutshane. Ukuba uloyiko kwaye uhlaziswa yilo nyaniso, khumbula izibonelo ezininzi ebomini kunye namabali abantu abajikeleze ngamnye wethu. Bangaphi oobawo abashiya abantwana babo ngaphandle kokubakhangela? Bangaphi oomama abangabandakanyekanga emntwaneni wabo, bexhala ngootatomkhulu? Bangaphi abazalwana kunye noodade abazondana kunye nokuzama ukwenza konke ukubonakalisa ubomi njengomntu ozelwe ekhaya? Kodwa ezi zihlobo zegazi. Kodwa ngakolunye uhlangothi, sinokubona indlela abantu abanceda ngayo abantwana abangaphandle, njengoko abazalwana nodade abaqeshweyo bahamba ngobomi babo bonke kwaye abazange baphosane kwiimeko ezinzima. Konke oku kuthi igazi aliyona nto ebaluleke kakhulu. Ukuba uyamthanda umntu kwaye uvakalelwa kukuba nguye ungokoqobo, akukhathazeki, igazi elinye liphuma emithanjeni yakho okanye ehlukile. Ekugqibeleni, sikhetha amadoda kunye nabafazi kungekhona kwizihlobo zegazi, kodwa sibabiza ngokuba yintsapho. Ngoko, ungalokothi uloyike ukuba ungakwazi ukuthanda umntwana ohloniphekileyo. Ukuba ulungele oku, uthando luya kuza. Ngokuphambene noko, kungcono, kuba wenze isigqibo ngokuqinileyo, zilungiselele. U-Chaszchemamy, ozalela abantwana ngenxa yokukhulelwa okungenakulungiswa, akanakuthandana nomntwana wabo. Kodwa abo baphatha ngokufanelekileyo isinqumo, bathanda abantwana babo ngaphezu kwanoma yini enye.
Kalula xa ukhathazekile ngenxa yale nto, cinga ngokuphindaphindiweyo malunga nesigqibo sakho. Mhlawumbi uhlala uziphatha ngokuzilungele ukuthatha umntwana okhulayo. Kule nto akukho nto ikukhathazayo. Ukuze ukhulise abantwana, kufuneka uhambe kulo mgaqo. Yaye ukuba awukaze uzive oku, ungazivumeli ukuba ucindezeleke. Abasetyhini abaninzi abangenako abantwana bayavuma ukuthatha umntwana okhulayo ukuze anelise umnqweno womyeni wakhe ukuba abe nosapho olupheleleyo. Kodwa akwenzi oko kuba bona ngokwabo bakulungele ukuthatha olu xanduva, kodwa ngenxa yoluvo lokuziphatha kakubi kunye netyala phambi komyeni. Ngenxa yoko, ekuboneni umntwana omncinci ukuqinisekiswa kokunyaniseka kwabo, abafazi abanjalo banokuziva bengathandeki kunye nokucasula kuye. Ngoko, ukuba ufuna ukufumana intsapho eyonwabileyo, thabatha isigqibo esinesizathu esinokusekelwe kuphela kwimvakalelo yakho kunye neminqweno. Musa ukuvumela umntu ukuba akukhokele. Ukuba wena uvakalelwa kukuba ufuna ukufumana umntwana, ngoko uya kuyithanda. Kubalulekile, ligazi okanye inzala. Akumangalisi ukuba bathi akuyena umama owazalwa, kodwa lowo wakhulela. Xa utyalo kulo ulwazi lwengqondo, xa ubona indlela ephinda ngayo amagama, ukukopisha imiqondiso, ukuyisebenzisa, okokufundisayo, kholwani mna, awusoze wakhumbula ukuba ungumntwana. Ukukhulisa abantwana, siqala ukubathanda, ukuba akukho mntu ucinga ngemibandela yegazi lomthonyama. Ngoko ke, ungalindele ukuba uthathe umntwana okhulayo. Ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuyithanda, kuba wena ngokwakho wayefuna ukuba ube ngowakho.
Owesilisa nomntwana
Isimo esahlukileyo siphumela xa ibhinqa lithatha umntwana walo mthandayo. Apha akunakwenzeka ukuthetha ukuba okokuqala kwakuyisigqibo sakhe, ngenxa yokuba ulwa nothando nendoda, umfazi akanakucinga ukuba unabantwana. Ngoko ke, ubukho bomntu ezandleni zomntu othandekayo bunokumangalisa, kokubili kumnandi kwaye akunjalo.
Kule meko, okokuqala, kufuneka uqonde ukuba uyamthanda le ndoda ngokwaneleyo ukuba uchithe ubomi bakho bonke. Khumbula ukuba abantwana banamathele kakhulu kubantu kwaye ukuba kamva uyingxenye, ngokuba umculo uya kugxininiswa. Ukuba uyaqonda ukuba awulungele ukumkela umntu njengomntwana ebomini bakho, ngoko uthando lwakho ngaye aluqinileyo ngokwaneleyo. Kwale nto akukho nto ingaqhelekanga, kuba sithanda abanye, kwaye abanye bangaphantsi.
Ukuba uziva ukuba uyamthanda ngokwenene umfana kwaye ukulungele ukuhlala naye yonke imihla, ungakhathazeki ukuba awukwazi ukumthanda umntwana wakhe. Inyani kukuba bonke abantwana bafana nabazali babo, ukuba bangaphandle, ngoko ngokuziphatha. Kwaye ngokuqhelekileyo, kwaye, nge-urrug. Ngako oko, uya kuthinteka ngokungathandabuzeki ukuba unomfesane kumntwana, kubona ukuba i-kakon ithatha ufana nobaba, uthi ngamazwi, ikopi kunye njalo njalo.
Ukuba umntwana usencinane ngokwaneleyo, thandana ngokulula. Abantwana bazivakalelwa kakhulu ngabavakalelwa ngabazali babo. Ngoko ke, ukuba umntu uyakuthanda, ngoko umntwana uya kuthanda. Kwaye awuyi kukwazi ukumthanda. Xa uthetha imihla ngemihla nomntwana, uyayiqonda indlela ikhula ngayo, yenza into ethile, ifunde into ethile. Xa efika, uyancenga ngokulula kwaye uthi: "Ndiyakuthanda", kwaye uyazi ukuba olu luthando luyinyani, lokwenene, lokwenene, kwiimeko ezinjalo akunakwenzeka ukuphindaphinda ngokuphindaphindiweyo. Ngoko ke, ukuba unenkxalabo yokuba awukwazi ukuthandana nomntwana omncinane wakho - ukuzincama. Ngabo abo abangabathandi ngokukhethekileyo abantwana, bechitha ixesha elininzi kunye nomntwana womntu osondeleyo, qalisa ukumthanda, kuba naye uyazala.
Ngoobantwana abadala, kunjalo, imeko ilukhuni. Lapha sele iqalile ukukhwelelwa nguyise oyithandayo kunye nokungafuni ukuba abantu abangaziwa bazise imithetho yabo kubomi bukayise. Nangona kukho amaxesha apho nabantwana abadala kakhulu bafuna ukuba nomama wokwenene kwaye bayonwabile ukuthatha loo mfazi kwintsapho. Kodwa ukuba umntwana akayikho nto, oko akuthethi ukuba akanakukuthanda, kwaye ungowabo. Kule meko, kufuneka uphathe unyana okanye intombi yomntu wakho omthandayo njengomntu omtsha ebomini bakho, okufuneka uwazi. Kwaye xa sibona umntu, sibona iziphumo zaloo mntu, esinokuthi sihlonishwe kwaye simthande. Ngoko ke, nangona kunjalo, musa ukuzilungelelanisa nokuba awukwazi ukumthanda lo mntwana. Konke kuwe kuya kuphuma. Zama nje ukuba ube nesineke kwaye ungalindelanga ukuba iimvakalelo zakho zivuke kwaye zihlangane. Ewe, ngokwenene, kunye nabantwana abadala kufuneka "ufundeke" ixesha elide kwaye ubujonge iindlela. Kodwa ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukufumana ulwimi olufanayo nalo mntwana, uya kufumana. Kuphela ukuba ukuba usana, kufuneka ube ngumama, ngoko umhlobo okhulileyo ungumhlobo omhle.
Yaye uthando luvakalelwa kukuba, ukuba uhlala unxibelelana nomntwana, uncede, ukuba uthembele. Ngako oko, ukufumana imeko efanayo, ukulahla zonke iintlobo zoyika, uvule umphefumlo wakho uze uvumele umntu omncinane entliziyweni yakho. Yaye ndikholelwe, kungekudala uza kuthatha into owake wacinga ngayo, njengokungathi awukwazi ukuthandana nayo.