Yenza umzekelo onjalo: bhala kwikholamu enye amagama achaza iimvakalelo ezintle (ukuvuya, ukumomotheka, impilo ...), nakwezinye izinto ezimbi (ukudabuka, intukuthelo, umsindo, ityala ...). Kwaye ngoku khangela ukuba ikholam yesibili iya kuba mkhulu kangakanani. Uninzi mhlawumbi - ezimbini okanye kathathu. Iingcali zenzululwazi ziqikelele ukuba i-80% yendlela umntu oqhelekileyo acinga ukuba ayibi. Nsuku zonke ininzi yethu iskrola entloko yeengcinga ezimbi ezingaphezu kwe-45 000. Kule meko, ngokuqhelekileyo asiqapheli ukuba sicinga ngembi. Ezi ngcamango zaba zizenzekelayo.
Ukunyamezela ukukhathazeka?
Kwimizuzu engasemaphandleni ekude, umntu kufuneka ahlawule ingqalelo kwiimeko ezimbi kunokuba zilungile. Waphila nje abo bavuselelwe, ababethebe indlovu kwi-molehill. Abo babeziva bekhululekile kwaye banengqiqo ebomini babengazange babe nexesha lokuba nabantwana-kuba badliwa zizilwanyana. Ngoko sonke siyinzala yabantu abanexinzelelo.
Namhlanje akukho zikhwebu ezinama-saber kunye ne-volcano yethu engasongelwa yi-volcanic eruption. Kodwa siqhubeka sihlawula ngakumbi iimvakalelo ezimbi kunokuba zilungile. Khawucinge nje: uze usebenze ngengubo entsha. Ininzi yabalingani bakho banconywa ngawe. Kwaye omnye ongendawo uthi into enjengale: "Ngaba awunayo i-tipchik?" Uza kucinga ntoni malunga nokuhlaziywa okulungileyo okanye malunga nezinto ezimbi? Kubonakala ukuba, ababi baya kubangela ukuba yonke imimoya ephakamileyo iphumelele. Iingcali zengqondo zibiza le "ukungcola okubi": zonke izinto ezimbi ziyanamathele kuthi, kwaye izinto ezintle zihamba.
Amava amanqaku amaxesha onke enza ukuba umntu ahlasele ama-hormone "alwa okanye ubalekele." Kodwa ngokungafani nookhokho bethu bokuqala, asikwazi ukulwa okanye ukubalekela. Ngenxa yoko, iimveliso zokuxinzelela iikhemikhali ziqokelele emzimbeni, ezibangela ukukhathala kunye nezifo ezingenakulinganiswa.
Uyonwabile ukuba okanye uzalelwe?
Iingcali zeengqondo zaseMerika zenze izifundo ezibangel 'umdla: bafunda imeko yabantu abaphumelele imali eninzi kwilotto. Ewe, ekuqaleni uvuyo lwabantu abanenhlanhla lwaluphelelwe ngumda. Kodwa ngonyaka kamva abazange bazive ngcono kunokuba bawine. Kuyamangalisa, kodwa into efanayo yenzeke kubantu ababekhubazekile. Malunga nomnyaka kamva, uninzi lwazo lwaluhlengahlengiswa kwimeko yabo kwaye lwaziva lukhuni ngokwengqondo ngaphezu kokugula. Oko kukuthi, ngamnye wethu unqanaba elithile lonwabo, nayiphi na imicimbi eyenzekayo ebomini bethu. Iingcali zenzululwazi ezijongene nale ngxaki ziye zafumanisa ukuba i-50% yokukwazi kwethu ukuziva ulonwabo kuxhomekeke kwi-heredity. I-10% ngenxa yeemeko (inqanaba lentlalo-ntle, ubomi bomntu, ukuzinzisa). Kwaye i-40% esele ixhomekeke kwiingcamango zethu zemihla ngemihla, iimvakalelo nezenzo. Okokuthi, ngokusemthethweni, nayiphi na yethu ingaba phantse ngokuphindaphindiweyo, nje ngokutshintsha indlela yokucinga. Yaye isinyathelo sokuqala endleleni eya kule nto ilahlekisa iimvakalelo ezimbi.
Umkhwa wokukhalaza ngobomi
Iingcali zenzululwazi zibalwe ukuba umntu oqhelekileyo ukhononda ngezihlandlo ezingama-70 ngosuku! Asinakuvuyela umsebenzi, imozulu, abantwana kunye nabazali, urhulumente kunye nelizwe esihlala kulo. Futhi ngokukhawuleza ukukhangela umntu ukuba abike ngeengcamango zabo ezibuhlungu. Konke oku kunqumla inkqubo yeentlanzi kwaye akukho ndawo. Ukuba lo mandla kunye neenjongo zokuthula! Hayi, ewe, unokwabelana nomntu wakho iimvakalelo - nangona zimbi - kwaye ngaloo ndlela unciphisa uxinzelelo. Kodwa uya kuvuma, ngokuthe rhoqo, xa uthetha kwaye uthetha ngokungapheli malunga nendlela oye waphoswa ngayo, indlela yonke into embi ejikeleze ngayo, uvele uziphephe. Yaye imeko ebonakalayo ikhula ngokukhulula kwintlekele yehlabathi. Ngenxa yoko, awuve nje kuphela uziva uxinezelekile, kodwa ukhangele iimeko ezintsha ezintle. Ngaba ukhononda ngokungahambi kwemali, ukulondeka, ukuhlaselwa ngumphathi? Oku kuya kukwandisa ebomini bakho. Nangona kunjalo, nayiphi na, umkhwa okhuni ungatshintshwa kwiintsuku ezingama-21.
Unokuhlangabezana njani neengxaki ?
- Njalo xa uzibamba ufuna ukukhala kumntu owe-studio, shiya i-ruble 1 kwibhokisi yeemali. Imali eqokelelelwe kwiintsuku ezingama-21, nikezele inceba.
- Le ndlela yaphakanyiswa ngumfundisi waseMelika Will Bowen. Wanika ngamnye umfundisi wakhe umgqomo obomvu waza wabuza ngelinye ixesha, ukuba unqwenela, ukukhalaza ngobomi ukuba uyisuse kwaye uyifake kwelinye icala. Ngaloo ndlela, umntu uyakwazi ukulandelela ukuba uhlala ekhononda kaninzi kangakanani, kwaye uyayinqanda iminqweno yakhe.
- Gxila ekuxazululeni ingxaki. Cinga: ubuncinane kangakanani kwisilinganisi sezinto ezilishumi ongenakuvuyela le meko? Ziziphi iimpawu ezicacileyo ukuba imeko iyatshintsha? Chaza amanyathelo amancinci okuqala ongayithatha ukutshintsha imeko. Uqale usebenze.
Uxolo lube nani
Iqela lesibini leengcamango, ezenza sisenze sivuyiswe, kukhangela unetyala. Ngo-1999, abaphandi abavela kwiiyunivesithi ezimbini zaseMerika bafumanisa ukuba abantu ababethetha abanye ngenxa yeengozi ezenzeke kuzo kwiinyanga ezili-8 ukuya kudala, bafumana ngokuthe ngcembe ngakumbi kunabo abayalela yonke imikhosi ukuba ibuyiswe. Ngelishwa, kakhulu ebomini bethu basishukumisela ukuba sijonge inetyala. Kwanokwenzululwazi zengqondo ezibhekiselele kwimpazamo yabazali bethu, ootitshala, abatshatileyo, abaye babathonya ngokuqinisekileyo ikusasa lethu. Nangona kunjalo, oku akubangela ukuba ubomi bethu bube bhetele. Kuphela xa umntu ethatha uxanduva kwixesha lakhe kwaye azixazulula iingxaki yena, iminyaka yakhe engcono kakhulu.
Indlela yokwenza impilo ibe ngcono?
- Nayiphi na imeko evelele ebomini, cinga njengenguqu yokuphucula. Khumbula iingcamango: "Yintoni uThixo ayenzayo yinto engcono", "Akuyi kubakho uvuyo, kodwa uncedo lwanceda." Naluphi na indawo ohlala kuyo, zithi: "Mhlawumbi ngoku andiyikuboni nayiphi na into. Kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo. Kwaye kungekudala ndiya kufumanisa malunga nalo. "
- Ukuba umntu wakucaphukile, hlala endaweni ephumlileyo, vala amehlo akho, ucinge konke okwenzekayo, njengesikrini kwithelevishini. Cinga ngohlobo luni lweziganeko ongazithathela uxanduva ngalo. Mhlawumbi wena ngokwakho ungachukumisa ngolu hlobo? Okanye intuition ikuxelele ukuba akufanele uyenze oku, kodwa awuzange uliphulaphule? Okanye mhlawumbi lawa ngamazwi kunye nezenzo zakho kwandisa ingxabano? Cinga ngezifundo onokuzifunda kwizinto ezenzekile ukujamelana neengxaki kwaye uhlale uxolo. Zibuze: ukuba sisisipho sesiphumo, yintoni na?
Yenza uxolo nawe
Khumbula ukuba kaninzi kangakanani uzigxeka ngamagama okugqibela. Ziziphi iintlobo ezingamangalelwa? Kodwa ngokusoloko ufumana umva wecala kukubi njengokukhangela unetyala. Ukuphindaphindiwe ukubuyela kule mibala eyenza uzive unetyala okanye untloni, uchithe amandla amaninzi.
Kukho iindlela ezininzi zokudibanisa nawe. Le yilapho kuya kuba luncedo ukuxelela umntu ophatha kakubi, malunga nezenzo ezikusihlungu. Esi sisiseko sentsingiselo yokuvuma - ingxelo eyanceda ukukhulula intlungu. Kodwa akufanelekile ukuphinda ibali lakho ngaphezu kwamathathu amaxesha, mhlawumbi ityala liya kuba yintlonelo. Ukwamkela ukuphilisa nokuphila.
Njani ukwenza iimpazamo?
Kwiimeko apho uzixhaphaza khona, ukucamngca ukuxolelwa, okwenziwe ngu-psychologist uAlexander Sviyash, kunceda kakhulu: "Ndizixolela ngomvakalelo wothando nokubulela kwaye ndizamkele njengoko uThixo wandidalile. Ndifuna ukucela ukuxolelwa ngenxa yeengcamango ezintle kunye neemvakalelo ezinxulumene nam kunye nobomi bam. " La magama kufuneka aphinde aphindwe de kube nomoya wokufudumala noxolo luvela emphefumlweni. Kuphela ngale ndlela uza kukwazi ukujamelana neengxaki - ukuhlala uzolile kwaye uthanda yonke into ejikeleze kuwe.