Abafazi bafuna ukutshata?

Kukho uluvo olunjalo lokuba bonke abafazi nabasetyhini baphupha ukutshata, kwaye beza nazo zonke iindlela zokukhokela umfana onobuchule. Mhlawumbi, kwaye ngokwenene, bafuna, kanye kwiimagazini zamabhinqa unokufumana amanqaku malunga nokutshintsha "njani ukutshata?". Unokucinga ukuba iprogram yenkwenkwe yashicilela inqaku elinesihloko esithi "Indlela yokukholisa intombazana ukuba yitshatile?". Apha andinako. Ubuninzi into enjengeyo "Ngaba kuhle ukuba wenze isiphakamiso?". Kwaye ke into enjengeyo "Indlela yokufezekisa yonke into oyifunayo, ngaphandle komtshato".


Nangona kunjalo, kungekudala, xa umntu ondiqhelana naye endibuza wathi: "Nani na, namantombazana anamhlanje, musa ukukhawuleza ukutshata?" - ndacinga. Kwaye inyaniso kunye nenyaniso, phakathi kwabahlobo bam ubunzima beentombazana ezivela kuma-20 ukuya ku-30 ​​abakuze baphumelele ukutshata. Okanye mhlawumbi akusebenzi nje okwamanje? Ngaba kunjalo ngokwenene bonke abafazi baphupha ngomtshato, okanye ngaba nje inkolelo eqhelekileyo?

Emva kokubuza amantombazana amantombazana, andizange ndive enye inqaku "yee", kwaye akukho nanye "ayi". Izimpendulo zezi zilandelayo: "Ndifuna ukuba ngubani", "Xa ndifuna ukuba nomntwana", "Xa bebiza, ndiza kucinga ukuba ndifuna okanye akunjalo."

Umtshato, njengomthetho, awuyikuphela kwayo. Le yindlela enye yokufikelela kwiinjongo ezahlukeneyo. Ngaphandle, ngaphandle kokuba izimpendulo ezimbalwa "Ndifuna umtshato , kuba uhle" okanye "ewe, ixesha lide likhona." Nangona kula maxesha kuthethwa ukuba le mtshato ingenxa yomtshato.

Kutheni abesetyhini batshata?

Ngoko ke ziziphi iinjongo ezilandelwa ngamantombazana xa batshata?

Okokuqala, akukho mntu ufuna ukukhulisa umntwana ngasese, kwaye kamva umntwana ufuna yonke into. Uloyiko lwephambili kwikamva kunye nomnqweno wokuqiniseka ngekamva.

Kwezinye iintombazana zanamhlanje, umntwana ngokuqhelekileyo uyena kuphela isizathu sokutshata, kwaye ngaphandle kwabantwana abayidingi umtshato. Kwimeko yokuqhubeka koluntu, kukho iindlela ezimbini. Unokutshata kuba ucinga ukuba ulungele ukuba nezingane kwaye usenentsapho, kwaye unokutshata ngenxa yokuba ukhulelwe. Kakade, akukho ntombazana enye yathi wayenokuthanda ukutshata ngenxa yokuba wakhulelwa, kodwa ungayikhohlwa isizathu esinjalo.

Isizathu sesibini - imbono yokuba umtshato uvumela ukuba ubophe indoda enamandla. Ngokuqinisekileyo, akayikugcina iintambo, kodwa ukuhlukana nomfazi kunzima kakhulu kunokuba nje nentombazana.

"Utshatile? Ukukhangela umntu, ukuba u-A., ndiyakwazi ukumnceda ngokuthe ngqo, kuya kuba nzima kum ukuqhawula, njengoko kuya kubakho kakhulu ukwabelana. Kwaye ndifuna ukuyigcina, kuba ndivakalelwa ngumoya nothando ngandlela-thile, kwaye ekubeni umtshato uzalisa ulwalamano kwaye ukususela oko, ndiyiKapricorn, ndiye ndasetyenziselwa ukufezekisa zonke iinjongo, andiyi kuphumla ndide ndifumane isitampu kwipasipoti yam, " omnye wabahlobo bam.

Kakade, akuyena wonke umntu okwazi ukubamba kunye neminyaka esetyenzisene kunye kunye nepropati yakhe (khumbula umtshato owamkelwayo u-Abramovich), kodwa le nto inamandla kakhulu. Akusiyo into yokuba kukho iproverb kungekudala: "Akukho nto iqinisa umtshato njengengxowa-mboleko."

"Ndifuna ukuba namalungelo osemthethweni kuye!" - uthi uJulia, oneminyaka engama-23 ubudala. "Ukukhathala kokuhlanganisa imisebenzi yomfazi kunye namalungelo wenkosikazi", - utsho uAlya, oneminyaka eyi-25 ubudala. Ewe, amalungelo omfazi wakhe kunene inkosikazi. Kwaye kwimibandela yomtshato ekuphenduleni amabango malunga nabahambahamba phakathi kwezithuthi zobusuku ungayiva: "Ulawula ntoni na, ungumfazi wam okanye into?"

Ngokuqhelekileyo kukho umnqweno wokubiza imali kumyeni wakhe. Nantoni na oyithethayo, kwaye ukutshata umntu osisityebi yenye yeenjongo zamantombazana amaninzi. Ngako-ke umntu ubeka imali kwixesha lakhe elizayo, ukuphuhlisa ngemali yendoda yakhe umsebenzi, kwaye umntu nje ufuna ukuxhoma entanyeni aze aphile nemali yomnye umntu.

Ukuxazulula ngempahla yomtshato kunye neengxaki zezindlu - isenzo asikho esitsha kwaye siqhelekile. Omnye ufuna nje isityebi, umntu ufuna, umzekelo, ukufudukela eMelika. Kwaye kubalulekile kuphela kubafazi, kodwa nakwabantu. Nangona kunjalo, mhlawumbi akufanele ukuthetha ngomnqweno wokutshata, kodwa ngezinye iinjongo.

Kodwa nantsi into eyenza ukuba ucinge. Akukho ntombazana yathi wayefuna uthando emtshatweni. Andiyi kuhlola ukuba kulungile okanye kubi. Inyaniso yokuba umtshato awunxulumene nothando, ngakwesinye icala, kuyinto eqhelekileyo, ngenxa yokuba ukuthanda nokuthandwa, akufuneki ukutshata. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, into ethile kuluntu lwethu iyatshintsha ngokuqinisekileyo. Emva koko, xa sibuza oomama nogogo ukuba kutheni batshata, abaninzi babo baya kuphendula: "Ngothando."

Ixesha sele likhona!

Nangona kunjalo, naziphi na iinjongo ezithatyathwa ngumfazi ngokwakhe, imbono kawonkewonke ihlale imenza iphosakele. Ngamanye amaxesha amantombazana aneminyaka engama-20 ubudala abuzwa ukuba: "Utshatile xa uhamba?" Yintoni endingayithetha ngayo malunga namashumi amathathu ubudala?

Ngenxa yokuba ilungelo lokukhokelela ngobomi bezenhlalakahle kunye nemali, abafazi bafumana ngokutsha nje, akumangalisi ukuba umkhwa wokubonelela ubomi babo kunye nesimo sezenhlalakahle ngenxa yeendoda asikapheli ngokupheleleyo. Emva kowesifazane iminyaka emininzi ayengazi ukuba kukhetha ukuthanda kwakhe ukuhlala engatshatanga, kunzima ukutshintsha ngokukhawuleza yonke into.

Ukuba amantombazana amantombazana athi akafuni ukutshata, ajwayele ukucacisa ukuba "awanakudinga". "Ngokomzekelo, andifuni ukutshata ngexesha elithile, kuba: akukho mntu kunye nokuba kukho umntu oza kutsalwa ngabantu abasandul 'ukutshata ekuveliseni ukuvelisa abantwana, kodwa andifuni ukuba nabantwana ezinyaweni zam. Kodwa kunjalo, kunzima ukupheka umntu kwaye uhlambe iisokisi, "kusho uKatya, 21.

Ngokwesiko, isiphakamiso sokutshata sivela kumntu. Kwaye kuzo zonke izibini ezitshatileyo ndazi, isibonelelo sasivezwa ngumntu. Indoda, uhlobo oluthile, lufanele luvuthwe kwesi sigqibo, ngelixa umfazi uhlala ekulungele ukutshata . Kwaye umnqweno wakhe ukunyusa le ndoda.

Ukongezelela kwingcinezelo yoluntu, kukho imimiselo eqondekileyo kwabanye. Xa bonke abahlobo sele beyibhiyozele umtshato, intombazana iqala ukucinga ukuba mhlawumbi ibubi ngaphezu kwabanye.

Ukhululekile okanye ukhululekile?

Umfazi ongatshatanga ubizwa ngokuba ngumntu onesizungu, ngelixa indoda engatshati ikhululekile.

Unokuphikisana ngendlela othanda ngayo ngento yokuba le ngqungquthela efanayo, njengentlondi yomama nomkhwekazi, kodwa, njengoko bethetha, yonke ihlaya linomcuke.

Abaninzi abafazi banesaba kakhulu ukuba bangatshatanga. Banoyika ukodwa, uhlaselo lwabantu, unesihe. Olu loyiko luyinto ebalulekileyo ebangela ukuba umfazi abe ngumtshato.

Kodwa umtshato awunesiqinisekiso sokuba uya kuvuya. Bathi xa umfazi eziva enesizungu, uyatshata. Yaye xa umfazi evakalelwa yedwa enomtshato, ufumana umthandi. Oku kuphakamisa ukuba kufuneka ubalekele uluntu ngezinye iindlela.

Kutheni ke, kutheni abaninzi abafazi banamhlanje bashada ngokukhawuleza?

Nangona zizathu ezininzi zokuba kutheni abafazi bafuna ukutshata, amantombazana anamhlanje ahlala ahlala ixesha elide kwaye engapheli.

Izizathu ezenziwa ngabasetyhini zizinto ezibonakalayo kwindalo. Eyona ndlela ixhaphake kakhulu yimivuzo kunye neengxaki zezindlu. Ukuthenga indlu yakho kubonakala ngathi kukho into ekude kwaye engavumelekanga intombazana. Ndifuna ukuhlala kuqala, ukufumana imali. "Ingxaki ayikho nje ukuba andinakuyenza imali xa ndijongene nobuso. Phantse akukho mntu ngoku usebenza ngaphezu konyaka nesiqingatha kwindawo enye, kwaye andiqinisekanga ukuba umyeni wam nomsebenzi wakhe uya kulungile. Ngaphezu koko, amadoda anamhlanje, ngokombono wam, ahlala abantwana ukuya kuma-30. Ubhiya kunye nabahlobo kunye nemidlalo yamathoyizi - into eyona nto ininzi abaninzi abahlobo bam baninzi, "U-Olesya, 27, uthi.

Ngaba abafazi bafuna ukutshata? Ewe, wonke umntu uhlukile kwaye wonke umntu ufuna ukufezekisa izinto ezahlukeneyo ebomini. Kodwa isigqibo sam sinye: abaninzi abafazi bafuna ukutshata. Kodwa abafuni isitampu kwi-passport yabo, kodwa intsapho.