Kutheni sifuna ukuzibuza ukuba ngaba umfazi kufanele ahlale exelela inyaniso? Kunokwenzeka ukuba, kuba sesaba ukulahlekelwa ngumthandayo. Akulula kubo bonke abafazi ukuba bathethe inyaniso. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba kungcono ukuthula, okanye kukufanele ukuxoka ukugcina loo nto. Ngelo xesha, abanye abafazi baqonde ngqo ukuba bahlala bethetha kuphela inyaniso kwaye abayizibamba nantoni na. Ngenxa yoko, bahlupheka. Ufumana njani umgangatho ophakathi?
Okokuqala, makhe sibone yintoni imeko intombazana efuna ukuyixelela inyaniso kunye nokuba yintoni. Into yokuqala abantu abaninzi bacinga ngayo. Kuhlala kunzima ukufihla kumntu othandekayo ulwazi olunjalo. Ingakumbi umfazi. Kule meko, kulungile ukuphanda ukuba kutheni le ntombazana yenza oku? Ukuba oku kungenxa yomsindo kunye nentukuthelo, mhlawumbi kufuneka axelele inyaniso ukuze aphumele. Ukuba lesi senzo senziwa kuphela kule njongo, ke kufuneka uxoxe inyaniso. Ukuba oko kwenzeka ngenxa yokunyuka kweemvakalelo, uthando olufutshane lwexesha elifutshane, elidlulileyo, kwaye loo ntokazi yacaca ukuba uyayithanda intombi yakhe, ngoko kungcono ukuthula. Ewe, ukuba akafuni ukulahlekelwa ngumntu. Ngokuqinisekileyo, isazela siya kuhlala sihlushwa, kodwa, ngokusemthethweni, kwakufuneka umntu acinge ngaphambi kokuba enze oku. Kwaye ngoku sekwephuzile ukuba "ukuluma iingqamlezo zakho." Kubalulekile ukudibanisa kunye nentlawulo yolu hlobo. Kutheni ungaxeleli inyaniso kule meko? Ngenxa yokuba, ngokuqinisekileyo, kuya kubangela ukuphuka. Amadoda athethelela ukunyaniseka, ngaphezu koko, ukuba atshintshe rhoqo. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba kuthethwa njani kakubi, kodwa le ngqondo yesintu. Abanikazi kwaye abafuni ukwabelana nabo nabani na. Ukuba umfana ufumanisa ukuba le ntombazana ishintshile kuye, uya kuthatha njengento yokuhlambalaza, njengokungcatshiswa kwaye ayikwazi ukuhlala ngokuthula kunye nomfazi onjalo. Kakade ke, kukho amaxesha apho abantu baxolela baze babalekele oko kwenzekayo, okanye ubuncinane bazame ukuzenza. Kodwa, ngokwemigangatho yepesenti, lo mkhuba uthatha isabelo esincinane. Ngokwemvelo, kukho ithuba lokuba umfana uza kufumana umntu kwaye konke kuya kuba kubi nakakhulu. Nantsi intombazana kufuneka iqonde ngokwayo indlela enokwenzeka ngayo, kwaye yintoni engcono ukuyenza.
Yiyiphi inyaniso esakwazi ukuthetha namantombazana? Ngokomzekelo, inyaniso yokuba omnye wabahlobo okanye intombi yamantombazana akhe engabonakaliyo ngaye uyayiphendula okanye ayakhe iinqweno. Kule meko, kufuneka ukwazi ukuba izinto zinzulu kangakanani kwaye unokubangela buhlungu umhlobo wakho. Musa ukulibala ukuba abahlobo bayaphikisana kwaye banemvakalelo enokuthi bathetha kakhulu. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba abayithandani. Kwaye, ukuba uthetha kumntu malunga nokuba ngubani na oko akutshoyo kanye, kunokukhokelela ekutshatyalaliswa kobudlelwane ngenxa yesigxina. Okanye, le ntombazana iya kuthathwa njengento ehlekisayo ezama ukuxabana nayo yonke into, eyona nto ingeyona nto ingcono kakhulu yokuphuhlisa iziganeko. Ngako oko, kwimeko apho umfazi eqonda ukuba amagama kunye nokuziphatha kwabahlobo, ngokusemgangathweni, abasongeli umntu omncinci, kungcono ukuthula. Baya kuhlenga ubudlelwane babo. Inyaniso kufuneka itsho kuphela xa kucacile ukuba "abahlobo" baceba okuthile okanye bahlala bethela udaka kumntu, bahlazise kwaye bahlambalaze isidima sakhe. Kule meko, ukuziphatha kwabo kungalimaza ngokuziphatha, kwaye nangokwenyama. Kodwa, ukuba loo mntu akaqapheli nto kwaye uyazithemba kakhulu, akukho mfuneko yokubonisa ukuba uyiphutha. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, abantu bayathukuthela kwaye abayiva inyaniso. Kungcono ukuba umcele ukuba alumke kwaye alumke, ukuba uthe wakuva into ethile, kodwa ungacingi ukuba ugwebe ukuba kutheni abantu besenza njalo. Musa ukugweba abahlobo bamfana. Ulungele ukuhambisa ulwazi oluthe ngqo kuye ukuze akwazi ukuluqonda aze alitye.
Iyiphi enye inyaniso inokulimaza ubuhlobo? Mhlawumbi lowo uchaphazelekayo ngeempazamo zentsha. Kakade, ngamnye wethu akaphelelanga, kodwa, kukho izinto ezifuneka zitshintshwe. Apha a bafazi kwaye baqala ikhulu kangangeentsuku ukuxelela abantu abaselula inyaniso malunga nokunyamezela kwabo, ukuvalelwa kwengqondo, ukungaxanduva kunye nezinye iimpawu ezimbi. Kwaye abantu bayathukuthela, bacaphuke, bahlaziye, kwaye, ngamanye amaxesha, badibanise ubuhlobo. Kodwa, indlela yokusebenza kwezi meko, kuba sithetha inyaniso ngokwenene, ukuze singakhubekisi, kodwa ukunceda umntu. Apha kufuneka ube nomqondo wenani. Yinto enye xa sichaza iimpazamo kwaye sizame ukucinga indlela yokuzilungisa ngayo, kwaye ngokufanayo-xa sihlala siphinda sibuyele ukuba loo mntu, ngokwenene, isisidenge esingenakwenza nantoni na. Kufuneka uhlale uvahluko kwaye ungahambi kakhulu. Akunakulungele ukuthetha inyaniso yolu hlobo kunye nezihlobo zakhe, abahlobo kunye nabaziwayo, kwaye, ngokukodwa, yenza njalo. Qonda ukuba ngale ndlela uya kumthobela phambi kwabantu ababi. Kodwa, akukho mntu uthi akukho mfuneko yokucebisa nokubonisa iimpazamo. Kalula, kufuneka uyenze le nto, ngaphandle kokuguqula "umfazi wokubona". Musa ukuthetha rhoqo, umzekelo, "kutheni ungafundanga, uyisidenge?" ". Kungcono ukuthetha: "Andiyiqondi isizathu sokuba umntu onobuqilileyo nofanelekileyo afune ukufumana imfundo ephakamileyo? Unako ukuphumeza impumelelo kunye neenzuzo eziphathekayo, ngoko kutheni ungenzi umzamo? Ndiyamthanda kwaye ndiqhayisa ngawe, kodwa ndifuna ukuziqhayisa ngakumbi. "
Unokuxelela inyaniso ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Ngamanye amaxesha la magama angashukunyiswa, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha - ahlaziswe kwaye atyathelwe. Kufuneka ukuba uzive umgca phakathi kweqiniso kunye nokuhlambalaza. Ukugqithisa ngokugqithiseleyo, njengokufihla ngokugqithiseleyo, akusayi kubakhokelela ekuhle. Ngoko ke, abafazi abasoloko befuna ukuthetha inyaniso kumntu othandekayo, kwaye ukuba uthethe, ngendlela engasikhubeki ngayo, kodwa uyayiphawula kwaye ilungisa iimpazamo.