Ukuqhaqhazela, njengento yokuduma kwemvula, kunzima ukuqikelela. Kodwa awuyi kuphazamiseka kakhulu ngenxa yeengcingo zezulu, kunjalo? Ngoko kulapha: funda nje ukusebenzisa "i-ambulera yengqondo" ngexesha elifanelekileyo. Ubonakala uqonde kakuhle yonke into: kwaye awukugwenxa ngenxa yokuba ungalunganga, kodwa ngenxa yokuba lowo ophulileyo unomona entliziyweni. Kwaye wawela phantsi kwesandla esishushu. Yaye ukuba imeko yeqanda ayifanelekanga. Ewe, kunye nokuzithemba, ulungile. Ngoko unokuzikhusela njani ukunyaniseka, ukunyeliswa kommelwane, ukunganeliseki kwabanye abahambahamba kunye nezimo ezimbi?
Khawucinge ngeso simo oye wahlambalaza ngayo. Usuke uqhuba iyure entloko yesi siganeko, ufike ngeempendulo ezinobungqina obuya kubhubhisa umoni lowo ndawo. Kwaye uhlushwa yinto yokuba ngokwenene uziphatha ngendlela ehlukileyo: ulahlekelwa ngumsindo, uphuphuke, udibanisa into engacacanga. Ewe, into engalindelekanga, engafanelekanga, "ukubetha" ihlanganisa iintlungu. Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba ufunde ukugcina ibhalansi yangaphakathi phantsi kwazo naziphi na iimeko. Kwaye ke ukunyaniseka komnye umntu - nokuba ngumntu ohamba naye ngengozi, umphathi, umlingane okanye umntu othandayo - akayi kukugubungela. Imoya yakho ayiyi kuxhomekeka kwiingcikivo zommelwane, ukunyaniseka okanye ukunganeliseki. Vumelanani, ngenxa yesi siphumo, kuyafaneleka umzamo uze usebenze ngokwakho!
Ukugqithisa, ukuqaphela, ngokuzikhethela, okujoliswe kuyo-oku ngenye yeembonakalo zengcinezelo yengqondo. Kwaye ukuba ungeyayigubungela imigoqo ebantwini bethu, unokufumana ukukhaba ngokukhawuleza kwi-minibus, kunye ne "carpet" yompheki, kunye nakwintsapho yakho. Kwizengqondo kukho eli gama: ukutshiswa komoya. Le ngxaki yingozi yintyantyambo yoluntu yanamhlanje. Abaphathi abaphezulu kuphela abachaphazelekayo, kodwa nakubani nabasebenzi bezentlalo. Abo bahlala kwinkonzo yomsebenzi bahlala bedibana nabantu. Ukukhathala okuvela kwi-flurry engapheliyo yabantu, imfuneko yokuba "isombulule" rhoqo iimeko eziphikisanayo. Kwaye ukuba umntu engazi ukuwudubula ngokufanelekileyo, ngoko unokuhamba ngendlela elula: "uthele" ingxabano yakhe kwiintloko zabanye. Njengomthetho, ongenakho ezinye iingxabano, ngaphandle kobuqhetseba, uhlambalaza. Kwaye ubundlobongela buboniswa ngumntu oyika kakhulu. Injongo ephambili ye-boor - ingaba ngumthengisi ongenaluthando esuka kwi-"soviet" okanye intlonelo ehloniphekileyo kwi-suit evela ePrada - enye: ukuhlazisa omnye, ukwandisa ukubaluleka komntu.
Kutheni kubambelela kuwe?
Sinikela entliziyweni, simele sivume: kwiimeko ezininzi, abaxhasi baya kufinyelela injongo yabo. Siziva sizihlaziyekile, sibilise ngentukuthelo - ngelizwi, siphumelele ekukhutsheni. Kutheni? Okokuqala, ukukhwabanisa kubonakala ngathi kuyindawo yethu phantsi kwelanga. Thina, ngokukhuliselwa kwethu konke, ukuziphatha okuhle, isimo sengqondo esifanelekileyo, nje ukugungquthela malunga ne-asphalt ngenye into engenelisekanga. Okwesibini, abaxhasi bafana nokusebenzela uluntu. Ngokuqhelekileyo abaxhamli ngasese, kwaye xa amangqina - emgceni, kwibhasi egcweleyo, egumbini kunye nabalingane. Ukuhlaziswa kobuhlanga, njengoko kuyaziwa, kukhululeka kakhulu.
Ngokomxholo we-American psychoanalyst u-Eric Berne, ngamnye kuthiwa abantu abathathu "baphila": umntwana, umzali, umntu omdala. Kwaye, ngokuxhomekeka kwinqanaba lokukhula kwangaphakathi, kwenye imeko okanye kwenye imeko sikhetha enye yeendlela ezintathu zokuziphatha. Ngoko ke, abaninzi abantu basabela ngokunyaniseka kunye nokuhlambalaza kwabamelwane nokuba besesimweni seNyana (isikhundla sexhoba, ukuhoxiswa kuye, samoyedstvo kunye nokuphelisa okungapheliyo kwintloko yentloko eyenzekayo) okanye ukusuka kwimeko yoMzali (ukukhusela okukhuselekileyo kunye nokunyanzela ukubuyisela). Kwaye, nakwezinye iimeko, i-roughen eyayikhuphayo kuphela. Emva kwakho konke, ukuhlambalaza kwakho kukubambelele, uphumelele, ngamanye amazwi, uthatha enye into engeyiyo. Iingcali zengqondo zithi indawo efanelekileyo kakhulu yokukhusela ukunyaniseka yindawo ye-Adult. Ukuba umntwana uloyiko kunye nokuhlaselwa kwabazali, ngoko impendulo yabadala ayithathi nto. Xa usesikhundleni somntu omdala, ilanga likhanya emphefumlweni wakho-kungakhathaliseki ukuba iindudumo kunye nombane zingenziwa njani ngabantu abakujikelezile. Umdala unamandla okukhusela ngengqondo, ngoko omnye umntu uyamthuka njenge-goose ngamanzi. Ukukhwabanisa akuyikuhlaziya isithunzi sakhe kwaye akuchaphazeli ukuzithemba kwakhe. Ngako oko, umntu onjalo akaphendulanga ngandlela-thile naluphi na uhlobo, okanye ngokukhawuleza ubeka umntu othukayo ngegama elinye okanye amabini. Yonke into. Ingxabano iphelile.
Ukhuselo olungcono kakhulu luhlasela?
Sonke sibafundisi omnye komnye, njengoko iingcali zengqondo zithi. Abantu abangaqhelekanga kunye neziganeko ezidlulayo ebomini azenzeki. Kwaye oko kusenza sithandwa kakhulu yinkxalabo enkulu kunye neengxaki. Ukusuka kweli ngcamango, umlingane okhuphayo okanye umqhubi ongenalo lububuko bombuso wethu wangaphakathi. Kwaye ngokuphindaphindiweyo isibuko esinjalo sibonakalisa oko thina ngokwenene esinako. Ngokomzekelo, intombazana eneentloni ihamba ngebhasibusti egcweleyo-enye yalabo abaza kubamba iqhwa phantsi kwequlunqo ngaphandle kokufuna ukuvala ifestile. Uzama ukuhlala njengendawo encinane kangangoko kunokwenzeka, emi emlenzeni owodwa, kungekudala kungekho mntu ophazamisayo. Yaye ngokuqinisekileyo kuya kuba nomama oza kutyhalaza le ntombazana enqabileyo kunye nendoda enomngcipheko ngesandla sokugubha ekhoneni elikude, uya kuguqula yonke imilenze yakhe, kwaye uya kugxotha. Kwaye intombazana sele ibuhlungu yenzakalisa amehlo akhe kwaye iyathuthumela kwindawo emanzi. Kodwa eneneni, kunokwenzeka ukuba loo mntwana unikwe intombazana enomfazi ukuze afunde ukugcina ummandla wakhe, ngokucacileyo nangokucacileyo igama elithi "hayi" kwaye angazikhubekisi. Ngoko ke, esikhundleni sokuthukuthela ngenxa yokungabi nabulungisa ebomini, kuyafaneleka ukuzibuza: "Yintoni le ndiyifundisayo?"
Unokuzikhusela njani kwi-aggressor? Unokwenza ngokuzenzele iindlela zakhe uze uzame "ukuphazamisa" ukuhlambalaza ngokuthetha izinto ezininzi ezintle ngokuphendula. Kodwa amaqhinga anjalo awavelanga ngokukodwa. Ngokuvelisa ubugwenxa, ukhulisa kuphela inani lezinto ezikuzungezile-kwaye ekugqibeleni uyaziwayo. Emva kwesibetho esiqhwithelayo kunye nokuhlambalaza, akunakwenzeka ukuba uzive ungcono. Kunoko, ngokuchaseneyo: uya kufakwa njenge-lemon. Yaye imvakalelo yosuku lonke iya kutshabalaliswa.
Abanye abantu basebenzisa izilwanyana ezahlukileyo, izilwanyana, izilwanyana njengokhuselo lomntu ongenamdla. Zonke ezi zinto ziphumelelayo-kanye njengoko sikholelwa kuzo. Kwaye kusebenza apha, kunoko, kungekhona kakhulu amandla okuphilisa we-amulet njengenkolelo yethu kwinto yokuba ikhusela. Yiba nokuba kunjalo, kufuneka kukhunjulwe ukuba naziphi na iimpawu zangaphandle zakha umqobo wendlela. Kwaye sinokungenakuvuswa, kungekhona ngokuqinisa ukukhusela kwangaphakathi.
Uthotho oluhle
Esinye sezibonakaliso zamandla omntu kunye nokukhula kwangaphakathi yindlela esheshayo ngayo ukubuyisela ukulinganisela kwengqondo emva kweziganeko ezingathandekiyo. Unokusebenzisa ngokubanzi njengoko ufuna ukuwenza, ukubonakalisa ukubonakala kwintliziyo. Kodwa ukuba ngaphakathi uphupha umsindo okanye uphelelwe ukwesaba, u-aggressor uya kuvakalelwa ngokuqinisekileyo. Ngoko ke, ukuba ufuna ukunyaniseka ukuba uphelelwe ebomini bakho, wandise ukuzithemba kwakho ! Umntu othembekileyo onomqolo ovulekileyo kunye nokubukeka okuvulekileyo akulula ukuguqula. Funda ukuhamba njengokungathi unesithsaba entloko yakho. Njalo kusasa emva kokuvusa, ukubeka ingqondo yakho entlangeni yakho, ukuphulaphula iimvakalelo zakho uze ungakhohlwa ukujonga imeko yangaphakathi ye "ukumkanikazi" emini. Ngelo "mthwalo" omnandi ngokuzikhethela okanye ngokungazi kakuhle amaphepha akho. Kwaye ubhekene nokunyaniseka okungalindelekanga, zama ukucinga ngolu hlobo ngaphandle. Kufana nawe - akunjalo wena, kodwa umntu ongeyena mntu angaziwayo nakwamanye amazwe. Umbono ololo hlobo unceda ukukhawuleza ukunciphisa ubunzima beemvakalelo kunye nokuqonda imeko ngesithunzi, ukufumana indlela engafanelekanga. Udidekile, ungaqhelwanga neempendulo ezijoliswe kakuhle? Enyanisweni, akudingeki ukuba ukhuphisane nomxhaphazi. Unelungelo lokungasabeleli nhlobo. Ngendlela, kule meko, ukuba uyayigatya nje ukuhlaselwa kwakhe, ummangala uzakuphelelwa ngumdla kuwe ngokukhawuleza.
Ngaba uke wazibuza ukuba kutheni abantu bafumana uvuyo lwabantu? Ngokuqinisekileyo, esi sihloko kwinqaku ekhethekileyo, ngoko makhe sihlale kuyo ngokufutshane. Kwi-esotericism kukho into enjalo njenge-vampirism yamandla. Musa ukwesaba, ku-Count Dracula le ngcamango ayinanto yokwenza! Inyaniso kukuba abantu abanamandla obuthathaka (kuthiwa yi-aura) bahlala bekhangela ukunikezelwa kwamandla kwabanye abantu. Abanye abantu bayayifumana ngothando nangokunyamekela. Kwaye abantu abanomntu ombi, ongenamthandayo - ngobudlova nobudlova. Unamandla ngakumbi ukusabela kwi "lixhoba", nokuba luyintlungu okanye iinyembezi, i-hamam iba ngcono ngokwenyama! Yaye ukuba impendulo yomntu ongehlayo ayikho (isikhundla se-Adults), ngoko i-boor ilahlekelwa ngumdla wonke. Ngenxa yokuba ayifumaneki amandla ayo. Uyabuya aze aguqule omnye umntu.
Isixhobo esona sikhulu ngokuchasene ne-boor sihlaziyi. Ukuba awuyazi into oyithethayo - ukumomotheka. Ukuthobeka, ngokucacileyo, ngokufanelekileyo. Uhlolwe: unceda ngokwenene. Umntu omomothekayo unamandla kunomntu onobuso obuphambuke ngumntu okhubekileyo okanye onomsindo. Ukugqithisa ukususa ukuxhatshazwa, ukuphazamisa ummangalelwa, kumdibanisa. Kwaye ke, xa sityhawula, imeko engathandekiyo iphela ibonakala ibaluleke kakhulu. Ukhangeleke - kwaye ukukhwabanisa kuya kuphazamiseka ngokwakho, nokuba isicwangcisi esingathandekiyo asiyi kuhlala!
Ukuqinisa imida yakho!
Xa unesiqhelo kungekho sizathu kunye nokuzama ukucaphukisa, umsebenzi wakho oyintloko awuyi kuhluthwa kukunyanzelwa kwebhokisi kwaye ugcine ukulinganiswa kwemvakalelo.
1. Phuma kwindawo yokulwa. Kwaye ngokoqobo: shiya kwigumbi okanye ubuncinci uhambe kumanyathelo ambalwa. Zama ukungabi ngqo phambi komxhaphazi, kungcono ukuma kwicala. Kancinci umoya wakhe wokulwa.
2. Zikhusele! Ukukhusela imida "wakhe" kuyinto evamile kwaye yendalo - ayinanto yokwenza ngokungacacanga. Ukuba ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokungaqhelekanga vumela ukuba i-grubby iyayiqonda ukuba akayi kuzimisela ukuthobela i-antics yakhe ngokuthobela, iinjongo kuye ziza kuncipha.
3. Ungenakukhutshwa njengamanzi. Thatha umsebenzi omhle, owakhelwe kumgaqo wokubonakala. Khawucinge ukuba uhlanjwe kusuka entloko kuya enzwaneni ngomlambo wamanzi acocekileyo. Kuzo zonke iinkcubeko, amanzi acingelwa ukuba ngumqondiso wokuhlanzeka kwaye, ngexesha elinye, amandla. Kwaye akuyiyo ingozi, kuba amanzi angenakuvuswa. Kungakhathaliseki ukuba umoni ozama ukumbetha okanye ukumshaya, akayi kuphumelela. Intwasahlobo ecocekileyo ayikwazi ukuchithwa ngokuphonsa amagama angcolileyo kuyo - yonke into engcolileyo ihlanjululwe. Cinga nje ujikelezwe ngamanzi acocekileyo, uyomeleza amandla akho okukhusela. Ngako oko, umoni uya kukwazi ukondla ngamandla akho obomi. Kwakhona, unokuzicingela phantsi kwe-shower shower.
4. Geza i-negative. Ngoku ngokwenene. Thatha (asinakuhlamba!) - kwiimeko ezixinzelelekileyo, amanzi asebenzayo anceda ukuhlambulula ukuxhatshazwa, akavumeli "ukunamathela" kwemeko kumgangatho womzimba. Ukongezelela, ukuqhuba amanzi ngokwayo kuzalisa umzimba ngamandla.
5. Qinisa i-aura yakho. Namhlanje kukho ubungqina bokuba umntu ngamnye uvelisa amaza athile-amandla akhe angalinganiswa ngokuncediswa kwezixhobo ezizodwa. Kwiimfundiso ezisempuma, la maza-bio abizwa ngokuthi aura. Enyanisweni, esi siza sakho senu, intsimi yakho engatshatanga. Vala amehlo akho uze uzame ukuyifaka ngombala ombala ococekileyo ovela kuwe kuzo zonke iinkalo. Ukuba usebenza ngokufanelekileyo kwaye ufunde indlela yokugcina ummandla wendawo yakho yangasese entloko yakho, abantu abajikelezileyo abayi kuphulaphula imida yakho: kungekho emzimbeni, nangokwemvakalelo.
Yiba yinkosi yakho "mna"
Oko sikuhlawula ingqalelo, into esiyicinga rhoqo nokuthetha ngayo, iyanda. Into esiyikuyinyamekelayo iya buthathaka. Lo mthetho wobomi usebenza ngokubhekiselele ekunyameni. Awufuni ukuba ukunyaniseka kwabanye kuphazamise ubomi bakho-uyeke ukubandakanyeka kumbi, ungaxubushe nabahlobo iinkcukacha zesangciko sekusasa kwi-minibus okanye u-jongane nomyeni wakhe. Ukukhupha ingxoxo yengqondo kunye nabenzi babo. Ngamanye amazwi, yeka ukuchitha amandla akho ekusebenzeni okungalunganga komnye umntu! Ukulwa nobuqhetseba nezixhobo zakhe kufana nokulwa nemimoya yomoya. Ewe, ihlabathi lilungelelanise kangangokuba liqulethe ukunyaniseka, ukunyaniseka, ukungabi nabulungisa. Yaye intukuthelo yakho ngale nto, i-negative ayiyi kuba ngaphantsi. Enye into emele ithathe uxanduva lomntu wengqondo. Ngokubanzi, indlela esabela ngayo xa sinyaniseka, siyifumanisa isantya sokuvisisana nawe. Qonda: inkosi yendawo yakho yangaphakathi nguwe kwaye akukho mntu. Ngoko, wena kwaye nguwe kuphela oya kuthatha isigqibo sokuba uya kuxhomekeka njani kwimoya yakho!
Kuthekani ukuba unikezele iimbilini zakho, ukuba wenyuka waza wazithoba? Sonke singabantu, bonke abantu bangenzeka. Ukuhlala ubekezela, "kumhlophe kwaye kuluhlaza" akunakwenzeka. Kodwa kubalulekile ukuba ukwazi ukuphuma kakuhle kwimeko ongeyiyo. Ukuba uziva ukuba utshilo kakhulu, ungazami ukwenza oko. Musa ukuzenza ngathi akukho nto iyenzekayo, kwaye ungenzi mntu uthabatheke. Kungcono uvume impazamo yakho kwaye ucele ukuxolelwa: ewe, andinakuzibamba, usuku luye lwaba lukhulu, ludiniwe, luyi-perenervnichala. Ndixolele, nceda! Xa umntu ecela ngokunyanisekileyo ukuxolelwa aze achaze iinjongo zokuziphatha, kwiimeko ezininzi kubangela ukuba uvelwano. Emva kokuzikhusela ngokunyaniseka, ukuthukwa kummelwane okanye umthengisi kwivenkile - omnye akufanele abe njengabo. Yiba nomusa-kwaye abantu baya kufikelela kuwe!