Ukuze uqonde indlela yokuziphatha nomntu ophonsa iziyobisi, kufuneka ukwazi kwaye uqonde imeko yakhe, ukukhuthazwa kunye nokunye okuninzi. Nangona kunjalo, kufuneka ube ngumhlobo wenene nomntu onothando onokujamelana nale ngxaki kwaye uncede wakho umthandayo.
Ngoko, indlela yokuziphatha ngokuchanekileyo? Okokuqala, akufanele uloyike ukuba umntu owayengumlutha uya kuba nomsindo kuwe xa uthetha naye ngeengxaki. Ngokuqinisekileyo, unesivakalelo phambi kwakhe, uyazithukuthelela. Ungasabela kakubi nakubani na izimvo, kodwa ungesabi ukuziphatha kwakhe uze uhambe. Khumbula ukuba izidakamizwa zitshintshe abantu ngokucacileyo azikho ngcono. Baba nobudlova, bengenangqiqo, benomsindo. Xa umntu ezama ukuyeka, imeko ibuhlungu ngakumbi. Kodwa ke, abantu bafuna uncedo kwaye kufuneka ubonise ukuba ulungele ukubonelela. Ngomntu olahla lo mlutha, kufuneka ukhulume kwaye umqinisekise ukuba wenza konke okulungileyo. Khumbula ukuba ngeli xesha, nanini na. Kufuneka uhlale usondele kulo mntu kwaye uncede. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, ungaziphathe ngokungathi uyamlandela. Kule meko kuya kubangela ukucaphuka kunye nomsindo.
Emva komntu ophonsa izidakamizwa kufuneka abe ngumntu ocacileyo ngokucacileyo kwaye uyaqonda ngokucacileyo ingozi yeso simo, ngokucacileyo wenza izigqibo aze enze izigqibo kwisimo ngasinye. Khumbula ukuba inkqubo yokuvuselela yomntu oxhomekeke kwiziyobisi, ayihlali umhla, kungekhona iveki okanye inyanga. Endleleni yokuphucula, kuya kufuneka uphumelele kwiintsilelo ezininzi kunye, eziza kukukhoyisa kuphela ukuba unako ukumnika inkxaso kunye nenkxaso.
Khumbula ukuba ngaphambi kokuba umntu aphiliswe ngokupheleleyo, akakwazi ukulawula ngokupheleleyo ubomi bakhe. Ukuba ubona ukuba ihla okanye isele iphule phantsi, kodwa izama ukulungisa into - ungayeki. Naluphi na uncedo kwinqanaba lakho ithuba lokuba abuyele. Kakade ke, kule meko, wena ngokwakho awuyi kuba nemvakalelo enhle kakhulu. Emphefumlweni wakho unokuhlawulela intlungu, ukungathandabuzeki, umva wecala ngenxa yokuba awuzange uyisindise ngexesha kwaye awuzange uyisindise. Ukuba kukulimaza, ungayiphula. Ngoko ke, kubalulekile ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo ezifanayo nabantu abasondeleyo. Musa ukuzenza ngathi unamandla kwaye uza kuzilawula. Oku akunakunceda ngokupheleleyo. Kwimeko enjalo, ubeka impilo yakho yengqondo engozini kwaye ukwandise amathuba okuba awuphilwanga ngokujonga ukudabuka kwakho kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemihlaba. Ngoko ungathuli malunga noko kukukhathazayo. Ukuba ubona ukuba uwanele ngokwaneleyo ukuqonda iingxaki zakho ngokuqhelekileyo, unokuxoxa ngale nto naye. Ungamgxeka uze umgwebe into ethile. Ndikholelwe, yena ngokwakhe uzigxeka ngenxa yobuthathaka nobudenge. Ndixelele nje ukuba uhlushwa kwaye ucela inkxaso evela kwicala lakhe.
Ukuba uqonda ukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba akhulume ngale nto, xubusha imeko kunye nomhlobo osondeleyo, umhlobo, udade okanye umzalwana. Unokuqhagamshelana naluphi na izihlobo zakho okanye izalamane ezinokukuqonda nokukuxhasa. Emva kokuba uthetha kwaye kuya kuba lula kuwe, unokulwa nemikhosi emitsha kumntu ongenamdla kuwe kwaye uzama ukunqoba imfazwe kunye neziyobisi naye.
Ukuba ufuna ukunceda umntu uphilise, khumbula ukuba oku kunokuchaphazela ulwalamano lwakho. Kule meko, ingqalelo indima ebalulekileyo edlalwa yiyiphi intsebenziswano enxulumene nayo: ubuhlobo, usapho okanye uthando. Kukho nawuphi na, ukuziphatha kwakhe akusoloko kukukholisa. Kodwa ungalibali ukuba eli xesha lidlula kwinani elikhulu lobunzima namava. Ukuba umntu uphathwa kwaye uyadinga unyango, kuba akunakwenzeka ukuzisindisa ekuxhomekeke kuyo, kuthetha ukuba uya kuchitha ixesha elininzi kwiingxoxo ezahlukeneyo nakwiqela lokuxhasa. Kungenzeka ukuba uya kuba nabahlobo abatsha phakathi "nabalingane kwizinto ezimbi". Akunjalo na ukuba ufanele umthukuthelele ngokuchitha ixesha elingakumbi kunye nabo kwaye udla ngokucela uncedo. Kulula kula bantu ukuba bakuqonde, kuba bafumana into efanayo. Kwaye, ngenhlanhla okanye ungonwabi, kunzima kakhulu ukuqonda ubungakanani kunye namandla okuva kwakhe kunye namava. Ngoko musa ukuthukuthela kwaye ungenzi zonke iintlobo ezingenangqondo, njengokungathi umntu akakuthandi kwaye uyakuxabisa ngakumbi. Enyanisweni, uyabuxabisa kakhulu inkxaso yakho kwaye, xa ephiliswa, ngaphezu kowodwa uya kukubulela ngoncedo lwakho. Unokuba ngu-100% oqinisekileyo ukuba emva kokuvuselelwa ngokugcwele, uya kukuphatha ngokugqithiseleyo, uthando kunye nothando kunaphambili.
Xa ufumana ngokwesiqhelo seziyobisi, kufuneka uqiniseke ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukuyeka. Abantu abanomlutha okunjalo banokukhazamisa ngokukhawuleza ingqalelo yakho, ukucela umthamo okanye into efunekayo kuye ngoku. Ngoko ke, ukuba uya kunceda kwaye uchithe iintsholongwane zakho kunye nemikhosi emlonyeni weziyobisi, qiniseka ukuba unenkxalabo enzima kwiingxaki zakhe. Kodwa khumbula ukuba akufanele enze konke oku kuwe, kodwa yena ngokwakhe. Impumelelo inokufika kuphela xa umntu efuna ngobuqotho kwaye aqonda oko akufumene. Awukwazi ukuthatha uxanduva malunga nempumelelo yakhe kunye nokungaphumeleli. Ngoko ke, lumkela kwaye ungazivumeli ukuba ukhohliswe nangomntu omthandayo kwaye uyamxabisa. Kodwa, nangona kunjalo, de ukugqibela ukuzama ukumsindisa kwaye, ukuba ubona umnqweno wokulwa, ungabuyiselanga kude kube ngumzuzwana xa ukunyaniseka kungabikho.